When Two Realms Meet
by Gavedin
Summary: 2nd in the 'ninja Naruto gets sent to school' series. When a pink-haired alien winds up dropping into his life, how exactly is the blonde shinobi going to react? Based off To-Love-Ru and Naruto mangas, but with stark differences.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

_***Dios mio! A note at the beginning! Yup. Anyways, here is the second of the 'Naruto as a ninja gets sent to school' crossover ideas and this one involves To-Love-Ru, which I started reading awhile ago and it sucked me in. Like my Rosario+Vampire crossover, it will more than likely be filled with naughtiness. **_

Chapter 1:

"Brat, get your ass up!"

"No! I'm not going!"

"Don't make me summon Gamakichi on your ass!"

One blue-eyed, spiky blonde-haired fifteen year old shinobi by the name of Naruto Uzumaki grunted and rolled off of his bed and onto the floor where he proceeded to continue laying on his stomach and face. As his sleepy mind slowly but surely returned to the world of being awake, he wearily thought about how he had been dragged into such a situation.

It started when he was pulled away from his home village of Konohagakure in the Elemental Nations for a three year training trip to grow stronger and learn how to stand up to the likes of the criminal organization known as the Akatsuki. Instead, they spent more time traveling much to his angry outbursts. And not only that, but his bastard teacher had taken to 'fixing him up', meaning that the perverted Sannin named Jiraiya was making sure he ate well and exercised regularly to help him grow and fix up all the damage he had suffered from over the years. While the blonde would never admit it out loud, he had actually gained height over the years and you couldn't see his bones anymore through his skin. Hell, he even had visible muscles! That didn't mean he stopped eating ramen though which had been the main cause of his deficiencies, it was just now less than an everyday meal.

And then the toad sage had forced him onto a boat for who knows how long while the white-haired man forced him to read book after book on things he wouldn't have ever studied before in his life. And that wasn't when Jiraiya was forcibly correcting his sloppy and unrefined taijutsu style. Things became progressively smoother when Jiraiya had let slip that his shadow clone technique actually transferred their memories and experiences upon dispelling them, though Naruto had about killed his sensei when it was discovered. How he never noticed before, who knew? He guessed it because he always made a large amount and all the memories just canceled each other out.

And, AND! When they finally got off that rocking hunk of metal that floated over the water, the duo wound up on some island in the 'outside world' called Japan. And from there things got even worse in his opinion. School. Jiraiya was making him go to school. His defense was that to be Hokage you needed to be smart. And Naruto wasn't smart. Okay, maybe he wasn't brainy like Sakura…but he had one hell of a cunning mind when the times called for it. How else was he the king of pranks that could outrun and outfox the village's elite ANBU unit?

Jiraiya quickly found them 'Japan money' or 'yen' by simply finding a publisher and selling his smut books while incognito. The cash quickly rolled in and the two found themselves in a swanky two story house while Naruto begrudgingly was signed up to go to 'high school'…some civilian academy for teenagers to learn boring things so they could find boring jobs and be boring. He was so glad it was a temporary thing and he already had a job: being a badass ninja. And thank god for his clones sitting around reading what he needed to know so as to not look like an idiot once he went off to class. While the copies were nose deep in paper, he and Jiraiya would bug off to go train in the wilderness where they couldn't readily be discovered.

But time passed by quickly and Naruto did his best to put it off for as long as he could. But sadly...Monday rolled around in the early part of his fifteenth year of life and he was being shipped off to some placed known as Sainin High School. After dragging himself off the floor and dressing in the uniform every student was forced to wear by the dress code, the ninja walked out into the hall and down the stairs where his nose could pick up the sweet scent of food. That alone sent his empty stomach roaring in protest.

"Never thought I'd see you in something that wasn't orange. I should give the person that came up with those rules a medal or trophy for such a feat." Naruto looked down at his outfit with a scowl. Dull yellow jacket with a white dress shirt and green tie. Green plaid pants with white, yellow, and black stripes. And not one shred of his favorite color anywhere.

"Har-de-har, Ero-sennin. Screw you." Jiraiya just whistled to himself as he continued scrambling the eggs in the pan, totally ignoring Naruto's annoyance as the teenager took a seat at the table, scratching at his whiskered cheeks without any sort of purpose. The man had used a henge to appear 'normal' in this different culture, instead of his normal over-six-foot height, long spiky white hair, red markings under his eyes, and kabuki-styled sense of fashion. But whenever they were home he dropped it and went about in his normal appearance. Naruto, thankfully, looked normal enough already. His only oddity was the lines on his face but if anyone asked he'd just come up with something to tell them.

"You remember how to get there, right?" He nodded and dug heartily into the plate his teacher had prepared for him, wolfing it down like it was his last meal on earth. Even though they were renting this place which gave off the impression that there would be a bunch of servants running around, it was only the two of them in the whole building and therefore all chores fell upon their shoulders. The younger male did most of it because he was just so good at making copies of himself (Jiraiya's words) while Jiraiya took care of bills, cooking, and whatever else he wanted.

Finishing his meal and draining his glass of its opaque white liquid, Naruto wiped away any excess he may not have gotten into his mouth and took a look at the clock. "Yeah yeah, I remember. I'm not stupid. And no comment from you."

"I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Uh huh."

"Oh come on, now. You'll love it there!"

"…you really think so?"

"Of course! Have you seen the female uniforms? My god, one little gust of wind and those mini-skirts are tipping up and everyone gets an eyeful of the treasure hidden underneath!"

"PERVERT!" The empty milk glass impacted against Jiraiya's uncovered forehead, him being too engrossed in his perverted fantasies to dodge and also because he didn't even deem the boy a threat. Instead he just itched at the offending area and went back to giggling evilly, a bit of blood dripping out of his nostrils in response. Naruto shook his head in disgust and grabbed his school bag, walking out the large wooden front door and locking it behind him. It was more out of trying to look normal if anyone was watching instead of necessity. Anyone that tried to break into the house of a ninja that wasn't a ninja in turn was very, very stupid.

He slowly made his way out of the suburbs and onto a main street, his memory working to show him the layout he had memorized in his spare time. His first instinct was to just hop from rooftop to rooftop but apparently out here, that course of action wasn't even thought of as a mode of transportation. So weird. He hoped next time they sent a report to Tsunade, he could slip in a note about how weird the outside world was. As far as the Hokage knew, they were still in the Elemental Countries. She would blow a gasket upon learning what Jiraiya had done. That thought brought an evil smirk to his lips and a low chuckle.

Step by step he moved over the concrete until finally he made it to the large building he had come to know as the city's high school. Students were filing in and more than a few were sparing him a glance as he walked through the halls looking for the main office. His heightened ears could pick up the closer conversations, many of them involving a topic he knew would be talked about upon his arrival.

"_Is that a new student?_"

"_He looks foreign. Almost exotic!_"

"_He's sorta cute and are those whiskers on his cheeks? How adorable!_"

"_Feh! Nothing but a punk! I bet he dyes his hair!_"

Naruto just rolled his eyes and kept moving until he finally found the sign labeled 'Main Office' and went inside. After telling the secretary his name and name of his caretaker, he was given a piece of paper with his list of classes and sent on his way. It took a bit more searching before he finally found his new classroom but luckily the halls had emptied because of the final bell and it allowed him to search for 1-A in peace. According to Jiraiya, it had been a piece of cake to enroll him. All he had to do was give the headmaster a few of his stories and bam, he was in.

His hand rose up and knocked on the door, prompting it to be opened a few moments later by an elderly gentleman that looked like he should have been retired by now instead of still teaching a bunch of youths. He readjusted his glasses and gave a shaky cough before seemingly remembering what was happening and turning towards the rest of the room. "Everyone! We have a new student today so please give him your full attention." He turned back and motioned for Naruto to enter the room, his voice low and crackly with age. "Please introduce yourself if you would."

He walked in and stood in front of the blackboard with a wide grin on his face, scratching awkwardly at the nape of his neck. "Uhhh…hi. I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen and pranks, and the color orange. Nice to meet ya!"

The teacher coughed again and pointed towards the back of the room at an empty desk. "Go take a seat. Since you're new you'll have to read off someone else's book until you can procure your own." The blonde nodded and slung his bag over his shoulder before moving off to sit down. One of the males thought to pull a prank on the new guy and trip him up as he passed, but when he stuck out his foot things went in a totally different direction than he thought it would. Without even looking Naruto hopped over the offending limb, reacting instinctively and jumping two desks down the aisle and landing on top of another without a sound, his eyes locking with the female who was already sitting there. Everyone stared at him in shock and all he could do was laugh nervously and drop down to the floor.

"Um, wow! You sure got me heh heh! When I tripped over your leg, I sure did trip, huh?" He laughed again forcefully before ducking his head down and speeding off towards his desk as more conversations and whispers broke out among the student body. Jiraiya had told him he had to act like a civilian when out in public and he already fucked that up on the first day. It took the teacher calling for order before the class settled down just enough to continue on with the lesson, though everyone including the instructor would occasionally take a glance at him. Naruto just pulled out a notebook and propped it up to hide his face from view. A few years ago he would have loved the attention but now it was something he couldn't afford to have. If Jiraiya found out…he didn't even want to know what his continued training would entail.

One girl would occasionally try and sneak another peek at the hiding blonde. This female being the one whose desk he had landed upon. She wore the same jacket and shirt combination as everyone else in the room over her B-cup chest, but with a green ribbon in place of a tie. Her plaid skirt was the same color design as the boy's pants and she had black stockings that stopped just below her knees. Her hair was short and black, with her bangs parted to the left and held in place by a pair of hair clips and bright violet eyes although right now they were sparkling in confusion. She was Haruna Sairenji, class 1-A's committee member and all around nice girl.

'_That was…strange…_'

Her eyes flickered over to a boy sitting a row away who was doing his best to read the sentences the teacher was having them study. He was a spiky-haired male with orangish hair, amberish eyes, and the normal school uniform. He was wearing a bored look as he skimmed over the pages and she released a silent sigh in turn. '_How are you doing over there, Yuuki-kun?_' Rito Yuuki was a boy from her youth and a good friend from over the years they knew each other, and because of his caring nature she had slowly fallen for him since junior high. Unbeknownst to the cute girl, Rito was in the exact same situation with her, though the boy was always trying to find ways to talk to her and speak his feelings. Sadly, he could never get the words to come out right or he would completely miss his chance and therefore make the situation even more embarrassing for the both of them. It still did not discourage the boy, though.

But even as these two love-struck teenagers were lost in their thoughts, and the rest of the classroom were doing their own things, our blonde protagonist was doodling away in his notebook. The page was filled with penciled toads, explosions, and sketches of himself using his techniques, turning the whole thing into a rather intense free-for-all. The guy sitting in front of him had lent him an extra book on English, and though Naruto had already gone over such a subject with a liberal use of his clones he merely tilted his head to take a look at the clock on the wall.

Only ten minutes had passed.

He greatly suppressed the urge to slam his forehead against his wooden desk knowing it would only bring more attention to himself. This was as worse as being back in the ninja academy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The bell rang and the time for lunch rolled around as students stood to move around the building to eat their food. Naruto sighed and closed his notebook, slipping it into his bag before his hand wrapped around a small scroll. Shit, that's right. His food was sealed away. He'd have to kip off to the bathroom or something to bring it out. As the blonde moved away to summon his meal he could feel the eyes of his fellow students on his retreating back. More than likely the hushed tones once again reaching his ears were rife with his little stunt from awhile ago.

As soon as he was down the hallway, one boy with black hair spiked upwards and a tuft in the front grinned and rushed back inside. From there he jumped and landed awkwardly on top of Rito's desk, striking a pose once his balance returned. "I still can't believe that! It was amazing! Accident, my ass!" He looked down and his friend sitting in his seat who had moved his food out of the way lest it be trampled by the energetic male. "What do you think, Rito?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. It was kind of cool though, Kenichi." Kenichi Saruyama grinned even wider, sliding off of the desk and crossing his arms over his chest.

"And did you see some of the looks a few of the girls were sending his way? Maybe if we start hanging out with him then they'll start paying attention to us too!" Rito's eyes shifted ever so slightly to scan over Haruna's sitting form before shooting back to Kenichi as he swallowed some rice.

"M-maybe…"

The other boy knew exactly he was looking at as he watched Rito's eyes shift causing him to lean in close with a whisper only the orange-haired boy could hear.

"Perhaps he could even help you with your shitty luck in confessing to Sairenji. Or…maybe it's already too late and she's already fallen for the mysterious new student. He did land right on her desk, after all, and did you notice how they were looking at each other in the beginning?" Rito immediately blushed dark red and inhaled sharply, causing the food in his mouth to move and get caught in his esophagus. Kenichi slapped him a few times hard on the back, dislodging the blockage and once again allowing him to clear his airway and breathe. "Geez, man! If you're so worried then just tell her already and stop being such a wuss."

"I can't help it! I-I just get so nervous!"

"Yeah, yeah…oh hey he's back! C'mon, grab your stuff!"

Naruto had returned carrying four different steaming cups of instant ramen in his hands and had proceeded to down them with gusto. However a new presence at his side caused him to break off from his heavenly noodles and crack open an eye only to see two other students standing at the side of his desk with their food in their hands. The one with black hair was grinning and the other with orangey-brown locks was sporting a small smile of his own.

"Naruto, right? Kenichi Saruyama, and this is Rito Yuuki. Mind if we eat with you?" The blonde slurped a few more stray noodles and shook his head.

"Nah, go ahead."

"So did you really trip at the beginning of class? I'm pretty sure the distance you flew didn't equal the speed you were going."

"Well…yeah? What else would it be?" Kenichi set down his chopsticks and pointed a finger towards Naruto's feet.

"Maybe you were in some super secret government program that altered your body to be stronger and faster but you escaped, enrolling yourself in our school to try and live a normal life while dodging the fiends that changed you!"

"…what?"

"Or maybe, MAYBE, Naruto here is actually from a place only a few know about, trained in the old ways of ninjutsu but was sent out into _our_ world because the elders of his shinobi faction wished for him to know how people lived their lives outside his village!" Naruto and Rito were flabbergasted, both of their mouths hanging open in disbelief as the third of their group continued to come up with various origin stories.

The jinchuriki had tensed when Kenichi mentioned the word 'ninja' but it had only been a guess from a guy with a big imagination. All Naruto could do was sit there and listen before summoning up an eloquent and well thought-up response.

"…what?"

Okay, maybe not.

"Oh calm down already, Kenichi. Sheesh…it's his first day. Don't freak him out."

"Fine, fine. You're no fun, Rito." Naruto sent the amber-eyed boy a grateful look as the three lapsed into silence and continued eating their lunches. The calm, however, was just not meant to be as the black-haired boy brought up the topic of girls. If Naruto didn't know any better he'd bet the other student was somehow related to Jiraiya.

That thought spurred the blonde to try and make sure those two never met.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three weeks passed by since Naruto's first day of class and the blonde found himself living a life he never thought would be his. He was actually a bit popular. Girls thought he was cute or possible boyfriend material. His cheerful and helpful nature were drawing points along with his bright blue eyes, wide grin that always caused others to break out into smiles, and the facial markings he claimed were real.

Guys were jealous of his sudden luck with the ladies and took up the job of trying to make him look like a fool, while subsequently failing in their quest. The whole deal reminded Naruto of Sasuke and the boy's old treatment back in Konoha except in Naruto's case he wasn't, y'know, a douche about it and the whole event was toned down compared to the Uchiha's. The blonde hadn't asked any of the girls on a date or to hang out, though. His inaction caused Jiraiya to dub him 'not a man' or 'unmanly wuss who chickened out when all those glorious feminine figures were more or less throwing themselves at him'. But Naruto would only scowl and mention he had to bring back Sasuke for Sakura and dating wasn't a luxury for him. Then he'd go off and start training again while Jiraiya would frown and try to think of ways to get the boy to break off his ideal.

While keeping your word was a very notable concept, it was a rather tentative idea where they came from and he only wished that this was one promise Naruto hadn't made. He personally blamed the blonde's crush on the pink-haired girl from back home. But perhaps…someone here could push past that thick, stubborn skull of his.

It was in his time at school and occasionally after class, Naruto would find himself sticking around with Rito and Kenichi as they all got along well enough and weren't hostile towards him or his newfound luck with the ladies, though Kenichi would more than often whine about the situation.

While he had gotten to know most of the names of the other students in the class, there were a few that stuck out in his mind as more than passing acquaintances. The first was Haruna Sairenji, the girl whose desk he landed on his very first day in the building. She was the class's committee member and he found himself always directing questions and concerns towards her, which she always responded to with a smile. Plus she took the time to see how he was holding up every once in awhile due to him being the newest student in their class. And to his devious delight, he learned that Rito had feelings for her and it was always a laugh to see him get flustered around the female.

Then there was Haruna's two friends, Mio Sawada and Risa Momioka. Mio seemed alright with the occasional outburst but Risa was the one you had to actually watch out for. Mio had medium-length brown hair that was a shade away from black which she always kept in twin pigtails, light brown eyes always covered by a pair of dark blue glasses, and a B-chest. Risa had light brown hair down to her shoulders that grew wavy near its end, brown eyes, and a small C-chest. Risa seemed to have no qualms about greeting her friends, or any girl for that matter, by groping them and commenting on what she felt or saw. Mio was conservative but whenever her brunette friend was around, she would join in on the fun.

While other girls would speak or flirt, Risa had gone a step further and would go right up to him and give him a hug that always involved fondling on her part. He would just let it happen because 1. It wasn't exactly terrible compared to what he had seen her do to some of the girls, and 2. Well…her hands actually felt kinda good when she tried to feel up his muscles, like a massage. Though she loved when her hands would drop just a little too low for his tastes and he would freak out, which she thought was just simply adorable.

Lastly, there was Rito's sister Mikan. The three boys had traveled to Rito's house one day after school let out because Kenichi had acquired a new fighting video game and wanted to show off his 'skills'. Naruto tagged along because he had no idea what the hell a video game was, but hey it had the word _game_ in it. That right there hopefully equaled something fun.

And it was there he met her, the other boy's twelve-year-old sister with brown eyes and dark wavy brown hair she kept loose, except for a small ponytail tuft at the very top of her skull. She was nice enough but Naruto noticed she seemed a bit cynical. As the trio took turns (with Naruto doing his best to hide his awe at the fact they could actually control these small figures on the screen), she sat on the couch while reading a book and eating a popsicle, occasionally making a remark on how bad they were all doing. It seemed like whenever he saw her after that first time, she was snacking. But then again she was still a growing girl and needed her energy.

So for a time, Naruto Uzumaki was a normal teenage male. No threats of Akatsuki searching for his hide, no being ignored or belittled for being a jinchuriki, no being called stupid or an idiot for just being himself and then getting struck for trying to defend his actions...it was really nice. No way in hell he'd tell Ero-sennin, though. But sadly, his easy going times were destined to come to an end. The only problem was whether or not all of the changes were for better or for worse.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey brat. How was school?"

"Same ol'. Hey, you know I was wondering. What do you do when I'm at school?" The man looked up from the scrolls in front of him and grinned, pulling out a very familiar notebook from the depths of his shirt.

"What else?"

"Okay, yes. That was a stupid question."

"I do gather information too, ya know. I'm thinking of putting it all together as a guide, maybe for ninja that want to explore outside the Elemental Countries." Naruto's face was thoughtful as he moved off into the kitchen for some food. The sannin slipped his prize notes back into the safety of his pocket before shouting out after him. "But mostly it's the women!" The snort he received merely gave the man a reason to pick on his godson. "It's not like you didn't enjoy peeping, either~!" he sang out, causing a multitude of sounds to ring out that sounded like dropping pots and pans clanging.

"I-It's not like I wanted to! You always forced me!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Naruto. By the way, I don't feel like cooking tonight so either go out and get us some grub or try your own hand at making something for once."

The blonde looked around at the different appliances and then at his own hands. He could make simple things like sandwiches or ramen. But a big meal for more than one person?...yeah, he still needed more practice. The toad sage smirked as his apprentice walked past the couch and slipped his shoes back on. Before he could head out though, he heard one final shout from his teacher.

"And no ramen!"

The pitiful whine he heard issue out of Naruto as the door clicked shut caused Jiraiya to slap his knee in amusement and laugh. Things were good. Food was on its way, he wasn't the one buying it, and he got to pretty much lounge around. But as his gaze dropped back down to the parchment in his lap, he sighed with a morose chuckle. The sannin had put it off for long enough…it was time to send an update to Tsunade. The only consolation was she couldn't exactly kill him until the busty woman could physically get her hands on him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hmmm, what else would be good for his moaning stomach? Naruto had gathered a large bag of what he had learned was classified as 'fast food'. He didn't understand the title since it never moved on its own. It smelled really good though, and tasted great as well. The blonde guessed that was what really mattered.

**SNIFF**

His nose caught the scent of something new wafting out from a nearby stall and it caused his stomach to gurgle in response. Clutching his gut as it mutinied for still being empty, it was decided a snack would tide him over until he returned. Taking a few more sniffs, Naruto found himself in front of the vendor who was selling something called taiyaki. It was a small cake made from batter and filled with red bean paste, and funnily enough shaped to look like a fish.

He ordered a dozen for the road and thanked the salesman after paying for it, planting the new paper bag stuffed with treats into the crook of his elbow. Fishing one out, he took a big bite, effectively cutting it in half as the sweetened taste coated his taste buds. '_Hey, these're pretty good._'

As he spun around to walk away too absorbed in his food, he never noticed that someone was already in midstride where his body was heading.

**WHAM**

The impact barely ruffled him, only making Naruto almost lose his grip on his packages, but the other involved in the crash wasn't as lucky. It was a pretty female around his age dressed in the same school uniform as he was. She had long black hair hanging down to her mid-back and slightly narrow brown eyes that gave her a somewhat angered look. If Jiraiya had been around, he probably would have commented how the girl looked to be around a C-cup, but the perv wasn't and Naruto had only snuck a _small_ peek before relocating his eyes elsewhere. The blue irises landed on a bag he just now noticed near her sitting form, which he must have knocked out her hands when he walked into her.

He stooped down to help her as she began picking up scattered items, giving her an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you alright?" The brunette sighed and nodded, picking up a stray item and placing it inside her bag.

"Yes, thank you for asking. I'm a bit angry at the fact I fell but I suppose the blame is partly my fault as well." She looked up to meet the stranger face to face but in that moment the girl noticed the matching uniform, whiskers, and sunny yellow spikes. "You wear the Sainin uniform…blonde hair…and unique facial markings…I am Yui Kotegawa. By chance, are you the new transfer student from a few weeks ago in classroom 1-A?" He blinked and smiled again, nodding at her question.

"Sure am. Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you, Kotegawa-san." Yui stood with the help of his proffered hand but pulled away quickly as soon as she was back on her feet. The action caused the shinobi to cock his head in confusion, wondering why she suddenly acted like he was going ot attack her or something. "What's wrong?"

"The rumors are true. You do look like a deviant and I must agree with them. You've also earned the reputation as a womanizer and brute against your fellow male students."

"H-huh? Hold on now…the guys are always trying to knock _me_ out and something always backfires for them. That's why they get injured. I have nothing to do with it. As for the girls, I am not! I haven't dated any of them!"

"So you're only using them for attention while stringing them along. Your actions are intolerable and I cannot allow such a shameless act to continue!"

"Stop accusing me of things that aren't true!" Yui's pointer finger extended as she continued her seething glare, pointing towards a patch of sidewalk with a look that made him think he was supposed to comply with…whatever she was doing.

"Kneel!" What? "Kneel right there in the seiza position and I will tell exactly why your life choices are unacceptable!" Naruto's disbelieving eyes flickered from her slightly red face, to her steady finger, to the cement before traveling back to her face. Now, if there was one thing the prankster still didn't care for, it was when an authority figure tried to force him into doing a task he didn't like. And right now Yui was acting like she had a position of power, and she was being pretty damn forceful.

"Uh, no."

"W-what?" That, she was not expecting. It always worked back at school. "I'm the committee representative for my class! I work hard to make sure our school runs as it should without such shameful acts disrupting the students' behavior!" The teenager believed her speech would show him the error of his ways but to her utter shock, he laughed! Laughed right at her like she had told some blithering joke! His action caused her to grow even angrier. But the emotion hit its peak when his foot bumped against another discarded purchase she had missed to pick up after they bumped into each other.

"What the hell are these?"

"Give me those!" She ripped the offending box out of his hand and slammed hid it from view, flushing deep red as she motioned more animatedly towards her feet. "Kneel! Now, you dirty scoundrel! How dare you go through my personal items you pervert!"

"I am not a damn pervert!"

"Kneel!"

"No!"

This scene went on for a few minutes before Naruto get fed up with arguing and ran a hand through his hair in annoyance. Yui grew guarded when he suddenly reached into one of his bags and began fumbling around, only to withdraw…a piece of taiyaki?

"You really need to lighten up. Just 'cause you're cute doesn't mean you can control people's actions. Now shut up and have a fish. See you in school, Gouzen-chan." He walked away with a minor scowl leaving the speechless girl to stare down at the food in her hand, dumbfounded and blushing. She was more stunned that he went and called her cute with such a straight face, like he was simply talking about the weather. And he told her to shut up? How dare he! And…

Gouzen?

…

…

That uncouth, that…how dare-UNACCEPTABLE! He just called her arrogant and loud! And where did he get off acting so familiar with her? If he thought this altercation between the two of them was over then Naruto Uzumaki had another thing coming! All he did was solidify her belief that he was no good! As Yui began to walk back towards her own home with a twitching brow, the raven-haired girl vowed she would make him kneel sooner or later and then tell him off like her life depended on it. Punks like him needed a good tongue-lashing once in awhile to keep them in line.

She licked her lips after idly taking a bite of the taiyaki still resting in her hands, suddenly needing something to calm her at the moment and take her mind off the blonde bastard. Seriously, did he think he looked cool with dyed hair? And dammit, this piece of taiyaki was actually pretty tasty. She looked once more at the snack item and scrunched her nose before increasing the pace of her strides.

"You will not believe what just happened to me, Ero-sennin. I accidently bumped into a girl from school and she goes crazy after I told her my name, trying to get me to kneel in front of her so she can yell at me about being a womanizer!"

Naruto watched as his teacher's bushy head of hair lifted up over the back of the couch and peered at him in boundless disbelief. "You? As in, _you_? That'll be the day." he deadpanned before looking back down towards the notes spread out over the room's coffee table. The papers were scattered when a mildly greasy bag dropped down with a thunk, causing the older man to jut out his jaw.

"Touché."

"I already dug my food out, there's also some fish bread stuff in there I picked up called taiyaki. I'll be eating in my room before I wash up. It's my day off right? I'm just going to relax tonight then. Maybe go explore for a bit later on."

"Yeah, yeah. If I need you for anything I'll let you know. You have your…uh, cellular telephonographic device?" The blonde pulled out a small black phone from his pocket and nodded.

"Yeah. Still barely have any idea how this weird little thing works but Rito and Kenichi have been showing me. I had to lie about why I didn't know what it was, though."

"I figured. Alright then. If I'm not here when you return then I'm out finding research material!" With a slap of his forehead, Naruto turned and moved up the staircase to escape before he was somehow dragged into the pervert's as his foot touched the bottom step he stopped and turned back towards his teacher.

"Hey, Ero-sennin..."

"Stop calling me that."

"-what the hell are tampons?"

The man coughed on a fry and slowly turned his head to stare at his unwitting student. Where the hell did that come from? "-*cough*- Why, why are you asking?"

"Because when I bumped into the other girl, a box of them fell out of her bag and when I picked them up she got all angry."

Oh god, his obliviousness was appalling. But that didn't stop Jiraiya from bursting into more laughter at his expense. When the boy asked what was wrong, the man only responded with he'd tell him later on. "Just remember, it's embarrassing for the girls so don't bring it up to any of them!" Naruto scowled a bit but accepted the explanation nonetheless, quietly thinking it over as he ascended the stairs.

Stepping down the hall and through his door, he dropped onto his bed and sighed happily. It was so much comfier than his former mattress…and the whole room was bigger than his old one. Even then, he still didn't have much in personal items and those he did have were of the ninja variety and therefore hidden. A bed, a dresser and closet, and a bookshelf were spaced throughout where he placed the occasional technique scroll or novel that was in his possession or others Jiraiya had lent him. The man had even snuck in and put a few of his Icha Icha on the bottom shelf though the jinchuriki was unaware of that little fact.

He ate through the greasy meal, throwing the wrappers in his garbage can before grabbing a few loose articles of clothing and a towel. The water was warm and felt oh so good as he stepped into the shower and let it run. They had one of those large bathing rooms that included a floor area to wash up and rinse off as well as a bathtub, but he was so used to taking showers it was what he automatically zeroed in on. His mind drifted away as he began to wash himself, thinking of just anything that came to mind.

'_I think I'll summon Gamakichi and Gamatatsu…haven't seen them in awhile and they haven't been to this outside world yet. Yeah, that's a good idea._' That was quickly followed by taiyaki, angry female schoolmates, and new training methods to try and raise his strength. But the whole time he was musing, the blonde never did notice the small growing orb of light that lit up near his feet. A small crackle of lightning arced out as the cascading water steamed heavily with no outside stimulus, but what actually caught his attention was the deep hiss that followed and caused his hair to stand on end.

Oh, and he knew something was clearly wrong when the shower exploded in a mass of pink smoke and flying water. It was so loud he though one of his summons had appeared and knocked into him, forcing him into the glass as the weight stayed their unmoving.

Except the arrival was not a toad.

"Mmmm! My escape was successful!~" It was a girl. A naked girl. Long pink hair with one extra curl on top that flowed down to her shapely butt, and bright green eyes that were a few shades away from blue. Standing in front of him and leaning against his body as she stretched her arms and jutted out her chest, which just so happened to be pressed against his own in the limited space. An added note, she was soaking wet from the still running water. Naruto breathed out evenly even as his face was slowly growing redder and redder, as she finally noticed she was not alone in this new area and flashed him a cute smile. "Hmm?"

"…hi."

"Hiya!~ My names Lala, and I'm from the planet Deviluke!"

"…um, there's more than one planet?"

"Well of course, silly. Where else would I have come from, then?"

"I don't know…" Naruto inhaled deeply, causing this Lala girl to look at him curiously as to what he was about to do. As soon as the blonde's lungs were filled to the brim, he screamed out loud just enough to make sure the sole other inhabitant of the building could hear him. "ERO-SENNIN! ARE YOU PULLING A PRANK ON ME?" The alien winced and covered her ears, inadvertently pressing herself further against him and causing him to close his eyes at the friction her nipples were causing. Did she not realize what she was doing, or did she just not care?

A moment passed as his sensitive hearing picked up the faint sound of someone moving up the steps before stopping outside the upstairs bathroom doorway. "No. Why, do you want me to or something?"

"So you didn't, oh…use some weird summoning technique to cause a girl to appear in the shower with me?"

"No I didn't. How the hell'd you come up with such an idea anyways because it sounds like a great story premise."

"Hello, Mr. Ero-sennin guy!" Lala shouted happily, rubbing up against the blonde who was doing his best to remain indifferent in the situation. He was failing spectacularly and all the boy had to cover himself with was the wash rag. Outside the room Jiraiya had gone deathly silent as Naruto cursed the fact he never told the pinkette to stay quiet. A faint giggle filtered through the doorway, followed by a few more sporadic giggles that quickly turned into full blown perverse laughter. The scratchy sound of a pen moving at lightspeed against paper caught his ears and it immediately caused the boy to growl.

"By the time I get out of here you better be gone, Ero-sennin." More laughter was his response and Lala joined in, obviously amused by the situation. "Um…Lala-san? C-could you please back off of me? Your, uh…your b-b-breasts are touching me…"

She blinked quickly and looked down, grinning sheepishly as she stuck out her tongue and bopped herself playfully on the head. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize." Naruto nodded dumbly and blushed even harder as she pulled away towards the small open area left in the shower and giving him an unblocked view of her assets. He quickly flung open the door and rushed towards his towel, flinging it at the girl and yelling that she should cover herself up. The fluffy cloth was quickly wrapped around her bare body but wasn't modest about herself in the least. Her chest was at least a large C, coupled with the trim waist and hips and he knew Jiraiya would find her to be the next big 'star' in one of his novels.

"If you're gonna stick around then bring us another damn towel!"

"Why should I, brat?"

"Because _I_ need one! She's covered up already!"

"…oh. Gross. I don't want to see that. Alright, hold on…can't believe you gave her your only towel…" They heard him stalk off while mumbling, leaving behind a severely flustered blonde in the buff and a pink-haired cutie who seemed oblivious to the situation.

"Hee hee, Earthlings are funny!"

"S-so you're really an alien? Sorry, but I don't believe you. In fact you look like…like..." She looked like Sakura. If Sakura had suddenly gained a large chest, better body, and all-around hotness she was lacking the last time he saw her. Whoa, what? Where did that come from?

"Liiiiiiiiiiike?" she urged, causing him to shake his head of the odd thoughts and readjust the small square cloth covering his pelvis.

"You remind me of my crush…"

"Oh, really? She must be really cute then!" Naruto laughed awkwardly, projecting as much mental urgency as he could to make the sage return quicker. He should've been back by now. "Ah, I know how to prove I'm an alien!" One of her hands reached behind her back and skirted along the bottom edge of the towel, lighting gently across the skin and causing Naruto to gulp as she spun around and stuck out her bottom. "See? Earthlings don't have tails."

No. No they did not. And right above the curvy behind on her tailbone was a long, thin black tail that ended in a heart-shaped tip. She also nearly caused the ninja to have an aneurysm as she flashed him an unobstructed view of her uncovered snatch.

'_Sh-shaved?_'

"Oh, hey? What's that you're hiding behind that wash cloth? It's getting bigger and...ohhh!" Naruto gasped and turned around, uncaring as to what happened now as he haphazardly threw on his clothing and caused it to stick to his damp body. Feeling significantly less embarrassed now he stalked out of the room and angrily grabbed the towel out of his sensei's hand. It seemed that the sannin had heard the last part of their conversation and was already writing it down. Damn him. As he headed back towards his room to grab two sets of clothing, one for her and another dry set for him, he could hear her skipping after him while humming to herself.

As Lala entered his bedroom she released a small gasp while looking around, taking in the sights of 'Earthling' quarters before hopping onto his mattress and looking at him as he looked through his drawers. "H-hold on, I'll get you something to wear."

"Why're you blushing? Your face is so red! Aww, it's cute!" If it was possible, he might have felt himself grow even darker at the compliment. In fact, he was getting a little dizzy from the demanding bloodflow and it forced the boy to lean against his wall lest he keel over.

"Okay, I have to ask…blerg…if you're an alien, how did you get here?"

"With this! Pyon-Pyon Warp-kun! I can't set any exact coordinates but I can warp for short distances. I hid in the spaceship's bathroom and then warped into yours."

"Why did you run?" All sexual thoughts were slowly draining away as the girl remained covered and his general inquisitiveness into learning about new subjects was overriding everything else. Lala smiled sadly and ran a hand over her thin wristband teleportation device, the look in her emerald eyes growing almost morose in turn.

"I'm being chased. I thought I'd be safe here on Earth but I was followed and pulled onto their ship. If I had never used my ring…" She trailed off, looking down at her feet as the cogs in Naruto's mind began to turn. She was being chased. It was against her will. And she turned up naked, possibly signifying that her kidnappers had tried to do assault her in some way and she escaped to the bathroom. His hands were slowly tightening as his anger grew, even as Lala stared at him in confusion for his lack of a response.

"You can stay here for now until they back off. I won't let them take you, Lala-san." No way in hell he was letting those bastards take her back. He couldn't allow such a thing to happen when he was aware of it, especially when the same basic problem was happening to him with the Akatsuki.

She immediately brightened up at the suggestion, clapping her hands together gleefully and sending him one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen. "Really? Oh, thank you! Um…"

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"And I'm Lala Satalin Deviluke!"

"**Lala-sama! Are you alright, Lala-sama?**" His window suddenly pulled itself open with a bit of force as a small creature flew in on a pair of black bat wings, immediately causing the boy to pull out a kunai from one of his hiding spots to combat the strange new threat. But the small winged-creature flew directly into Lala's chest as the girl cried out happily, calling the thing 'Peke' and hugging it to herself. It was the size of a baby, pure white in color with a round head and swirls for eyes. It had a red and yellow tie, golden frills, purple edges, and a metallic feminine voice. Slightly bulbous arms and with black pads on her fingertips. The thing was very, very strange.

"Peke! I'm so glad you were able to escape too!"

"**The ship had not yet left Earth's atmosphere so I was able to flee!**" The little robot turned its head to take in its new surroundings and it was then she noticed another occupant in the room. She regarded him quietly before turning to her master and pointing a finger at the blonde. "**And who is the Earthling?**"

"That's Naruto Uzumaki, the boy who lives here."

"Uh…just what is that?"

Lala looked down at her creation before lifting her head to look back at Naruto with an eye smile. "This is Peke, an 'all-purpose costume robot' I made."

"**Greetings.**"

The robot was quickly lifted out of Lala's arms as Naruto held the automaton close to his face, blue eyes roving over her little body in concentrated scrutiny. He poked and prodded, causing the pinkette to giggle and the robot to release a strangled yelp as she was spun around. "So it's like a puppet that moves by itself? No chakra strings or anything?"

"Chakra? Oh…no? Machinery and electricity. You're acting like you've never seen a robot before."

"…I haven't."

"**Perhaps Earthlings do not have such technology on their planet. Also, would you mind releasing me?**"

"Oh! Sorry about that…we don't have those things from where I come from."

"Where's that?"

"It's…far from here. Anyways, so what did you mean by costume?" As the words left his mouth, something slapped into his face and covered his eyes. As he pulled the offending item away, it proved to be the towel that Lala had wrapped around her figure. She was now facing Peke with her back to him, giving him yet another clear view of her curves as she asked the robot to transform.

Peke began to glow and lose form, tendrils of her inconsistent body wrapping around Lala and molding against her figure like a skintight suit with the same color scheme and accessories as Peke. The big differences were the frilly skirt-like pieces of cloth now at her hips and the large hat shaped like the robot's head, complete with black devil wings protruding from it. Even though it was considered clothing…he could still make out the nubs of her breasts underneath the 'fabric'. It was pretty much like she was still naked and Naruto covered his eyes as she spun around in happiness. "Ta-da!"

"**It is not too tight, is it Lala-sama?**"

"No, Peke. It's perfect. So what do you think, Naruto? How does it look? Without Peke I wouldn't have any clothing."

"It's…uh…nice." It looked more like the cosplay fad he had recently learned about from Kenichi instead of regular clothing. But maybe on her planet it was the norm. Just like how mesh shirts and open-toed sandals were considered reasonable for shinobi…just a matter of opinion. And it also explained why she showed up naked.

"**I must ask, Lala-sama. What do you plan on doing now?**" The girl crossed her arms over her chest as she regarded her little servant.

"Naruto was nice enough to allow me to stay here."

"**That…is very considerate of someone you only just met.**" Lala turned to smile at him yet again until she noticed the blonde was very tense and moving towards her with a knife in his hands. She was taken aback by the sudden violent gesture until he grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the window with a tug. Two figures burst through the open portal and slid along his wooden floor as Naruto put himself between the girl and the intruders. Both wore black business suits, dress shirts, ties, and dress shoes but the oddity that caught his rapt attention were the black tails poking out from their behinds. Both ended in arrow-headed tips and it tipped him off that these two might have been of the same race as Lala.

The first had slicked back blonde hair and a small goatee, a thin scar going down the left side of his face at the eye. The other had short black hair and a thug-like face, his eyes covered by a pair of black sunglasses just like his partner. Gaining their footing, they both stood up straight and looked directly at the pink-haired girl with emotionless faces even as Naruto raised the blade in front of him. "Can't you bastards use the goddamn door?"

"What a bothersome situation…we should have tied you up so you couldn't escape." the blonde remarked coolly as he totally ignored the threat before him. Lala looked back with a rather disgruntled face before the emotion dropped away into annoyance at being found yet again.

"Peke…I thought I told you to make sure you weren't being followed."

"**I-I apologize…**"

"Gah! Now everything's ruined you stupid robot!"

"**Can you not use the ring again?**"

"Pyon-Pyon Warp-kun can only be used once a day before it needs to recharge." The dark-haired man seemed to lose his patience as he moved to grab Lala but Naruto wouldn't have any of that. He pushed off with both feet with a strength that startled all three aliens and launched his foot right into the man's nose. Before the second blonde could react, another larger sole impacted with his face sending him crashing against his fellow stalker and sailing back out the window.

"Brat. If she's staying here then she's _your _responsibility." Well that proved who the second fighter was. The tall man had burst through the blonde's door when he sensed two new figures enter their home and he felt his apprentice's chakra spike, deciding to give him some backup in the situation. Not only that, but he got an eyeful of Lala in her new outfit after only hearing the situation through the boy's closed door.

"Have you been standing outside this whole time?"

"Of course! Our new guest is giving me idea after idea for my next novel! And her figure and personality? She. Is. **Gold**!" This time Naruto moved between Jiraiya and Lala to shield her with his body, knowing exactly where his eyes were gazing even if she _was_ technically dressed now. He felt a small tug on the sleeve of his t-shirt, making him look over his shoulder at the sole female present. She smiled at him kindly and her eyes were half-lidded with a warmth he wasn't used to seeing directed at him.

"Thank you for protecting me."

"Don't worry about it. I promised I wouldn't let them take you, and I keep my promises." She felt a small needling in her chest as he spoke those words as well as giving the girl a bit of insight into his personality. He seemed rather strong in his convictions and led Lala to believe he would indeed keep his word. But what could a mere human really do in the long run?

Emotions rose to a slight panic as the whole house shook violently, tremors running through its foundations as something struck the side of the building. Jiraiya peeked his head out the window to see the two battered men punching the wall on the first floor, surprise etched into their faces that it was withstanding their blows. "Good thing I set those seals up when we first moved in…but who knows how long they'll last before shorting out. Naruto, they're after Lala so I think you better lead them on a chase."

"But…" Eyes flickered over to Lala but Jiraiya made a cutting motion with his hand.

"We're dealing with _aliens_, Naruto...never thought I'd ever say that sentence...It doesn't matter right now if we reveal what we are. I need to reinforce the barrier and you'll send them off after the wrong escapee."

"…alright."

"Hmm? Reveal yourself? Are you aliens as well?"

Both men chuckled as Naruto raised his arms and placed his hands together, closing his eyes in concentration as he focused his energy. "Not quite. Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Lala covered her eyes as the smoke engulfed everyone present, and space in the room disappeared as she felt herself being pushed against a bunch of other bodies that appeared from who knows where. She fanned at the area in front of her face only to see the grinning face of Naruto.

And Naruto.

And Naruto?

His bedroom was filled with copies of himself. About twenty in total not counting the actual original. And it stunned her. "W-wha? But…aren't you an Earthling? They're known not to have any special abilities!"

"The normal ones yeah, but we're special. We live on a hidden continent far away from here where it's either civilians, samurai, or what we are."

Lala was already hooked. The suspense and action that clogged the room reminded her of the stories she'd read occasionally back on Deviluke filled with action and powerful characters. The authors always found ways to leave their readers hanging while simultaneously hungering for the next installment, and the way Naruto was dragging this out was merely drawing her in more and more.

"And? And? What are you?" she urged, her hands clutched near her chin as she leaned in closer to the one that spoke. Her eyes were wide in child-like curiosity and the poor girl looked near to bursting if the secret wasn't revealed soon.

"We're ninja!" Naruto, his clones, and even Jiraiya shouted out as the man attempted to make his pose in the limited space. Lala squealed and waved her arms, loving the reveal of information.

"Okay, one through ten! You all know what to do!"

"Right! Henge!" Ten of the faux bodies disappeared in another puff of smoke only to fade away with yet another surprise. There were now ten extra Lala's! The original busty girl was dead silent as she began poking and prodding at one of her copies, causing it to giggle and swat at her hand. The real pinkette seemed content with the way her form had been recreated as she nodded in appreaciation.

"Amaaaaaazing!~" Her head turned on a swivel to stare with stars in her eyes at the slightly blushing Naruto, the boy scratching at the nape of his neck in response.

'_Sure, people always thought it was cool or handy but no one's ever thought it was this great before._'

"I believe you have a plan to execute?" Jiraiya asked with crossed arms, an amused smirk gracing his lips as he watched the female act like she was ten years younger.

"Oh, right…heh heh. You all know what to do, right? Split into pairs and break off!" Each fake Naruto grabbed a fake Lala and held her bridal style before jumping out the window. As the room emptied and allowed them breathing space, the blonde leaned in close to his guest's ear and whispered low enough to only allow her to hear. "Once we sneak out, I'll take you somewhere to hide. Ero-sennin will allow them to enter and search the place if they're still around to show that we've actually left the house. Then, when I get the signal, we'll come back as your kidnappers continue searching for you…are you ready?" She nodded resolutely with a cute little 'hmph' before he turned and pulled out a pair of black sandals from under his bed and kneeled. "Get on. It'll be quicker to run that way." he asked once the footwear was secured.

Unbeknownst to him, Peke granted Lala the ability to fly once the little machine was affixed to her body but the girl was still greatly interested in what her savior could do. So she hopped onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, unintentionally smashing her breasts against his own body yet again as he grabbed underneath her thighs. Once again feeling a heat rising to his cheeks (it felt like she was still nude) he nodded once to his teacher and sped out the window.

Jiraiya only chuckled as his lone student sped away with a girl attached to his back. Such a scene reminded the old shinobi of a few times he had been caught by a girl's father and he and his fling at the time escaped. All that needed to happen now was that Naruto and Lala got it on…that single thought caused another smatter of depraved giggling as he whipped out his nearly full pad of paper and added another round of sentences. Oh, his latest creation was going to be so good!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was late and the stars were shining brightly under the full moon. Naruto stood among the copse of trees situated within one of the city's parks. The run over the different roofs had been a nostalgic task to the blonde, reminding him of the quick way ninjas would move around back in Konoha so as to not be caught up in civilian traffic. Due to the circumstances, it was a route he hadn't been able to take for fear of giving away his abilities but with it being night time and nearly deserted on the streets, he felt that his persona was still intact.

Lala had enjoyed her ride, laughing and hollering quietly as he jumped and ran all over the neighborhood. A few times, the Devilukan kidnappers had appeared chasing after a set of clones and he would have to duck away in the shadows. An occasional memory would pop into his mind showing the two male aliens capturing one of his clones pairs before they disappeared and returned to nothingness. Now she was slowly walking around the small clearing, examining the bushes and trees while he sat with his back against the bark in contemplation.

"That was really fun~! Real ninja's are so cool!" She quickly spun around and skipped over to the boy, kneeling down until she was eye level. She gave another closed eye-smile and tilted her head to the side as she spoke. "Thank you again for saving me, Naruto."

"You're welcome. I just couldn't allow them to take you away if you were trying to run from them."

She 'hmmed' lightly and dropped down onto her knees, sitting in front of him with her body weight shifted between her legs and butt. "So! So! What else can you do besides create copies of yourself?" She expected the boy to grow just as excited as she was and either explain or show her what he could do, but instead the jinchuriki more or less grimaced.

"Truthfully?...not a lot…compared to others, I barely know anything. There's the simple henge which I can use to change my shape, and the kawamiri which lets me switch places with a person or object. Then the kage bunshin which lets me make clones. And the rasengan which is a really powerful attack. Then I can stick to surfaces and walk across water…and that's about it."

"Really? That seems like a lot of cool things to know."

He just chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah maybe…but not with the teachers I've had. My first sensei Kakashi was known to have mastered over a thousand different techniques but never taught us any. And Ero-sennin knows a bunch too but he only makes me train my body and work on chakra control."

"Chak-kra? You mentioned it before."

"It's a mixture of physical and spiritual energy that we learn how to control. It's that energy that allows us to use the different techniques."

"Could I learn?"

"No, sorry…you need to start at a young age or you lose the ability to create and control it. You'll still have it inside of you but that's it."

"Oh…so why don't you ask your teachers to train you with more techniques then?" she asked, confused. The solution was that simple, but did he never think of it?

"Trust me, I've tried. But they just make me do something else." he finished a little bitterly, causing Lala to frown. But that frown quickly formed into a thin line that in turn creeped back upwards into another smile.

"Then I'll help you convince them! If I'll be staying with you then I want to help you!" He found himself blink once as at her declaration, a bit amazed by what she just said. But his emotional wall found itself cracking a bit at the unfaltering warmth she was showing him, still a stranger nonetheless, and making him decide that he was really glad he got to meet her. Even in such an unorthodox and terrifying (for him) way.

"Thanks…Lala-chan." The honorific widened her smile even more. It appeared they were used on her planet as well. Odd…but at least he knew it wouldn't offend her somehow. And then he nearly slapped his forehead for being an idiot. Her device on her wrist was called –kun! Idiot…

"There you are!"

"Shit."

The two alien men jumped into the clearing, both looking a bit worse for wear. Their uniforms were dirty and a bit disheveled, but other than that they still had energy to spare. The yellow-headed one took a step forward and cleared his throat, his shielded eyes boring down on the escapee. "We have finally found you."

"How do you know we're the real ones, hmm?" Naruto asked, almost yelling at himself verbally for forgetting to bring his weapon or item pouches. He had been too caught up in the escape to do nothing more than grab his shoes and get her out of there.

"Peke, thank you for leading us to them." The robot twitched atop of Lala's head as she shouted back at him in anger.

"**I did no such thing!**"

"Bingo. You just did, actually. All the other life forms had a voice for the boy as well as Lala-sama. But none of them had a speaking Peke. The ones that didn't self-destructed upon their capture. Ten pairs left your dwelling and ten pairs were terminated." Damn. He didn't even think of that possibility. That was actually quite an ingenious way to tell which were the clones. "Lala-sama…please stop running away from home."

"No, I don't want to!"

"Yeah, buddy! She doesn't…wait…what?"

Lala stood her ground and placed her hands on her hips, throwing one arm out dramatically to the side. "I don't care anymore! I'm tired of meeting future husband candidates everyday even if I'm supposed to be a successor or whatever!"

'_...she...ran…away…from home?_'

"But Lala-sama-"

"NO! I don't care what daddy says!" She pulled a small flip phone out of…somewhere, and stuck out her tongue as she flipped it open. A few beeps were heard as she pressed the glowing buttons and clicked the 'send' button with her thumb. A large amount of airspace distorted and became fuzzy before a large round, metallic ball with synthetic tentacles hanging from the bottom appeared in a flash of light. It was white in color with a few black markings and an insignia that reminded him of a small swirl with little extensions. It looked like an octopus, complete with glowing eyes and a protruding mouth. "Transmission complete! Go-Go Vacuum-kun!"

"Crap, it's one of Lala-sama's inventions!"

"Suck them up!" The massive machine complied with her order and unfurled the covering of its 'mouth'. A powerful suction as strong as a typhoon grew in strength and ripped apart the area, pulling the two men directly inside as they screamed in fear. Naruto had glued himself to the ground with his chakra but the amount of force pulling against his body took all his concentration _not_ to be dragged in. Trees, benches, grass, and anything else that wasn't bolted down was sucked inside of the vacuum as well. Hell, things that were secured to the earth were dragged away as well.

Lala was right outside of the suction area, floating in the air with the help of Peke's hat wings. One arm was folded underneath her bust as the other pressed against her cheek as she watched the proceedings in an almost bored-like fashion.

"**What is the matter, Lala-sama?**" Peke asked at her master's unbecoming quietness. A near pout grew on the pinkette's face as one of her fingers tapped against her cheek in thought.

"How do you turn this off again?"

But it was too late. One exceedingly large chuck of debris slammed into the fake octopus's entrance and blocked it, causing a massive buildup of energy to grow in its body. Without any way to unclog the machine or reverse its suction, its function went haywire and the entire thing erupted in a fiery explosion that knocked the two teenagers off their feet and out of the air.

As the shockwaves died down and Naruto shook himself clear of his ringing tinnitus, he coughed and pulled himself away from the tree trunk he had been forced against. The edges of his clothes were tattered from the errant flames and a big gash went diagonally down his chest where a piece of a bike rack had cut him and his shirt. The wound was healing already but it still stung like a bitch.

"Wow! I guess that's a way to turn it off, huh?" His head turned with a wince as his suddenly sore muscles twitched. There stood Lala in her own partially destroyed bodysuit but Peke was repairing the damage. Other than that she looked to be wholly unharmed by the detonation of one of her inventions. "Are you alright? Gosh, that wound looks painful! Do you need help with that?"

He grunted as he stood but waved her off as her fingertips brushed the torn edges of his shirt. "I'll be fine. Are you okay?"

"Yup! Peke's costume mode also doubles as a padded reinforcement so I was only knocked away by the blast. I'm so glad it's over now…thank you for saving me and standing up to those two." She giggled and gave him a light smile. "But now that that's taken care of, let's go back to your house!" Naruto scratched at his cheek before sighing and looking at her with blue eyes filled with…sorrow? Why sorrow?

"Lala…you should go back to your own planet and home."

"W-what? Why?"

"You ran away from home and it's obvious your father's worried about you. Probably the rest of your family too. Those two were servants of yours or were employed, weren't they? Your dad sent them after you to make sure you were brought home safely."

"But…he's trying to force me to meet marriage candidates and marry one…I don't want that. And the rest of my family wouldn't worry too much. They know I'll be fine."

"Nobody wants that and normally I would be behind your decision one hundred percent…but this is family we're talking about. You should be spending time with your mother, father, and any other relatives before you lose the chance for good instead of disappearing when they do something you don't like. Yes, you're running away because it's a decision being thrust upon you against your will. But there are others who get the short end of the straw themselves and instead face it head on…" His hand brushed against his stomach almost nonchalantly but Lala caught his gesture. "You can keep running if you want but one day you'll have to contend with it. Don't take them for granted."

"…but…"

"Take care of youself, Lala-chan. Maybe we'll see each other some other time." And then he walked away, disappearing into the darkness of the night. One of Lala's hands was outstretched at the ninja's retreating form but she couldn't seem to find the words to call out to him. The appendage wavered before dropping back down to her side, the other reaching across to grab the bicep of said arm as her eyes dropped to the ground.

"Peke…did I mess up somehow?"

"**I'm…not sure, Lala-sama…**"

"Should I go home?"

"**I do not know, Lala-sama.**"

The pinkette closed her mouth and remained silent, pondering over the boy's parting words. Why did he act so morose when talking about family? It wasn't like her own parents or younger sisters were going anywhere…so why did he seem adamant about her spending time with them?

Earthlings were confusing.

"…I'm back."

"I can see that. How'd it go? And where's your girlfriend?" Jiraiya asked from his spot leaning against the wall, taking in the blonde's roughed-up state. Naruto scoffed and kicked off his shoes before moving towards the stairwell with them in hand. Girlfriend? That would be the day.

"Seems she ran away from home because _daddy_ was trying to marry her off. I sorta told her off and told her to just go home. Why someone would run from their family, I've no idea…" He really didn't. If Naruto had a mom or dad or even siblings, he'd be doing whatever he could with them no matter what it entailed. Just having their love and support was something he yearned for. And it was that exact reason why Jiraiya knew the shorter toad summoner had acted the way he did. Seeing someone with the support he had missed out on for all his life, and then taking it for granted like that must have raised his hackles. At least he hadn't torn into the girl _too_ badly.

"I see."

"Yeah. Well I'm going to bed. It's late and I have class tomorrow. Night, Ero-sennin." He finished with a wave of his hand and proceeded up to his room, leaving behind the toad sannin with his thoughts. This evening had not proceeded the way Jiraiya thought it would. Neither Naruto nor Jiraiya ever even noticed that Naruto had done something he had thought was impossible…

The blonde ninja had broken his word.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: I got hooked on the manga and it made me want to make a crossover. I could see Naruto fitting in if he took the place of Rito. Rito's still there, of course, but the only girl he'll really have to contend with is Haruna. And then when he more than likely gets thrown into perverted situations with Naruto. I read through all 162 chapters plus the 15 released so far of To-Love-Ru Darkness, and all I have to say is 'aw man, I have to wait for the new one'._

_I hope this first chapter worked for you. Changed things up a bit there at the end. I figured this would have been a logical reaction for Naruto in that situation. He's been alone and an orphan for his own life and would hate to hear about someone running away from their family because of an unfavorable decision._

_Okay, for all you manga readers out there; who here has read Trinity Seven? Is it a new story that's only recently been created? Because I found it yesterday and read the 1o or so chapters that were released and was hooked immediately. With the magic abilities and story, it made me want to create a crossover for this one as well. But when I looked it up, I didn't see anything about an anime or even a wiki and that was what led me to thinking it must have been really new. If so I'll be holding off on that until more information is gathered._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 2:

Get up.

Get ready.

Get clothed.

Get fed.

Get your supplies.

Get your ass out the door.

Another release of carbon dioxide escaped from Naruto's gaping mouth as he yawned, his feet following the same well-traveled path he had taken for the past few weeks. After that crazy experience last night the blonde was looking forward to the minor sense of normalcy the civilian school had given him. Plus there was the reward of being able to sneak in some extra sleep. Now _that_ he couldn't wait for.

All of the excitement from the alien runaway had kept the ninja up for most of the night and Jiraiya wouldn't allow him to send a clone in his place. '_Those things are still fragile, no matter how much chakra you pump into them. Besides, what if by some miracle your clone was actually caught in one of those childish traps of your jealous classmates? One puff of smoke later and there goes our cover. That's something I'm not leaving to chance._' Any hits from the other boys wouldn't even ruffle the construct but if something were to rupture the clone's skin, like a measly little paper cut…then bye-bye.

"Hey, Naruto!" He blinked and looked up from the hole he was staring into the ground to see Rito jogging towards him with a smile on his face. Naruto greeted his fellow schoolmate as the two fell in step, one clearly more energetic than the other. "So! Holy crap! What was up with Sessou Park last night? It was all over the news that something exploded there and just ripped the place to hell. Both Mikan and I were woken up by it, too."

"Yeah…me too. It doesn't help that I barely slept anyways."

"What do you think happened?"

"No idea…" Naruto looked around inconspicuously to try and find something to subtly change the topic with. Lord knows it was all the school would be talking about later, and having been there for a front row seat to the big bang made him want to hear about it as little as possible before the inevitable tide. To the northwest he caught a flash of familiar black hair that caused a grin to spread across his face, an elbow quickly nudging Rito in the side to gain his attention. "Hey. Check it out…Haruna-chan."

"WHERE?" He was quite surprised the other boy's neck didn't snap at such a speed.

"So you ever gonna tell her, or what?"

"W-what are you talking about?"

"…are you serious? It's as plain as day that you like her." The vermillion slowly staining Rito's cheeks blossomed into a full-face blush that caused the blonde to snicker.

"Just tell her already. Kenichi mentioned you keep chickening out. My crush from my old home knows I like her. Hell, I've even asked her out."

"And how did that work out for you?"

A shiver coursed down the orange-haired boy's spine as Naruto withdrew into himself, the epitome of rejection that in no way gave Rito the emotional courage to go over to his love and tell her how he felt. A hand suddenly rose and clapped across the boy's whiskered cheek, breaking him out of his funk and returning him to his former goofy self.

"Don't worry about it." he finished rather quickly. "Anyways, since you're my friend I'll help you."

"Really?...how?" Now he was suspicious. In the time he had gotten to know the Uzumaki child, Rito had quickly learned that the title of prankster was synonymous with the name 'Naruto'. First there was the time Risa had jumped him when he turned a corner, only for her to find out she was now straddling Kenichi while both were on the ground. How he had switched places with the other male, none of them could figure out. But he had went and laughed his ass off at seeing Risa's horrified face and the look of perverted gratitude sent his way by Kenichi. He never explained how he had done it and the girl had taken it upon herself to attack him twice as much in her quest to reveal the truth of that day.

Then there was the time the baseball club's pitcher Motemitsu challenged Naruto to…well, Rito wasn't exactly sure as he hadn't been around during that incident. The athlete felt threatened by Naruto's sudden popularity and tried to show him up and reclaim whatever poise he used to have. But it sadly ended with Motemitsu covered in paint and tied up in the middle of the baseball diamond next to a blow up doll at the end of the day. Both were in a rather provocative position and it just so happened that an anonymous message had been sent out to every classroom for the students to walk past the field for a big surprise and, upon seeing such an embarrassing sight, began taking pictures with their phones for future clarity.

And the grin spreading across the boy's face wasn't making him any less nervous.

"Oh…like this-HEY, HARUNA-CHAN! C'MERE A MINUTE!"

"Naruto, what the hell? I'm not emotionally prepared for this!" Rito hissed, watching in fear as his crush jumped at the outburst and spun around with a hand at her chest. Eyes locking onto the two of them, she regarded the duo curiously before beginning her steady approach. Every step she took, every sway of her hips against her skirt, every slight bob of her hair, it caused his blood-pumping organ to increase to a ridiculous pace.

Fingers curled around his shoulder as Naruto gave him a comforting pat, leaning closer so only the nervous male could hear. "By the way…if you chicken out I'm telling Mikan about it. And I know she might accidentally 'slip up' and say something to her about it next time they meet." And then he was walking away, continuing on his way towards school without a care in the world. Oh that conniving bastard!

However, a small bubble of courage welled up in his chest as he caught the perplexed violet eyes of Sairenji nearly in front of him. Inhaling deeply, he bent at the waist at a ninety degree angle with his eyes closed when he sensed her stop in front of him. This was it…the moment he had been both dreading and hoping for!

"Since…" No. That was too weak. He was a man. He needed to tell her and let the world know! "SINCE THE FIRST DAY I EVER SAW YOU, I'VE LIKED YOU! PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!" Finally…finally he had said those words without any interruptions! Now came the moment of truth. One amber eye cracked open slowly to take a peek at Haruna's reaction but there was something off. Something very, very off.

A pair of curvaceous thighs that did not belong to Haruna Sairenji were standing in front of him, dressed in a form-fitting, tight one-piece that was nothing like their school uniform. Gulping, both eyes lifted higher and higher to find himself face-to-face with an astonishing pink-haired cutie wearing one of the strangest costumes he had ever seen. Greenish eyes stared back quizzically as Rito literally felt the blood in his veins freeze and stop the pulsing of his heart. Haruna was nowhere in sight and Naruto was already long gone…and those passing by were whispering and looking at the odd duo.

"Hmmm…nope. That's nice but I'm not interested." she dismissed airily, ignoring the boy still frozen in shock to scan her surroundings. "Huh. I thought I heard Naruto's voice." Cupping her chin with a gloved hand the pinkette looked around again but pouted when she was unable to locate a shock of yellow among the darker hair colors.

Ah, but she had the living statue to learn from! Lala tapped Rito on the skull while waving the other hand in front of his emotionless eyes, trying to grab his attention. "Hey, which way did Naruto go?" Rito's hand slowly rose before pointing left, getting a hum of happiness in return. "Thanks!~" At that she skipped off, oblivious to where she was actually going in her morning quest. The poor boy left behind was finally able to scrape his jaw off the ground, still unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Should he be happy or crushed that a complete stranger just rejected him outright?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Uzumaki-kun, wait!"

Said boy paused and looked over his shoulder to see Haruna heading towards him at a steady pace so she could catch up to him. He raised a brow at seeing her **here,** especially when she was supposed to be back around the corner with Rito over **there**.

"SINCE THE FIRST DAY I EVER SAW YOU, I'VE LIKED YOU! PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!" The other student's shout echoed over the sounds of traffic, still legible even over the honking of horns and shouts of the masses. The pretty female looked around in uncertainty, unable to tell who had gone and decided to scream at the top of their lungs. Besides, didn't that voice belong to Rito?

"Um…so. What is it that you wanted, Uzumaki-kun?"

Oh, this was rich. He had called the girl over so his friend could confess to her and instead, Haruna goes and follows him when he walks away to give them a bit of privacy. And by the sounds of it, Rito had yelled out thinking she was there without actually taking the time to confirm who he was talking to. Oh well…sucks to be him. Maybe he'd get lucky anyways?

"Rito and I were going to see if you wanted to walk with us but it looks like we lost him." The dark-haired girl blinked and took one last look at the sidewalk corner before giving a minute shrug of her shoulders and falling into step next to the newest transfer student. Brushing a bang away from her eye, Haruna gave a nod.

"Shall we go then?"

"Yeah. The soon we get there, the sooner I can sleep." Haruna's cheeks puffed out in indignation before she began chastising him on having such a thought. All he did in turn was grin and whistle, making her 'hmph' and scold him on getting more sleep at home. The two continued talking well until they entered through the doors of their academy and bade each other goodbye, trading their outside shoes at their lockers.

Soon enough, he was resting his head on his arms as he lightly dozed at his seat. Maybe he could just pull a switcheroo with a clone and go sleep up on the roof for a bit, then sneak back in before anyone was the wiser. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. And Jiraiya would never know which gave him even more reason to do so. Until a body draped itself across his hunched figure, slender fingers deftly tracing across his muscles and actually causing him to moan lightly as she pulled him into a pseudo-hug.

"God, I don't know how much longer I can take it before I just say 'fuck it' and jump you…mmmmm, these pecs…"

Well that was new. "Wow. Morning to you too, Risa." He felt her press against his back, her breasts squishing against him and causing more than one boy in the classroom to grow jealous that he could be so casual about having a girl fondling him like that. "Hey, uh, Mio? Can you get Risa off please? Or spray her with a ho-OSE?" he squeaked at the end, feeling himself blushing when the palms of her hands ran across his stomach and causing him to jolt upright.

Since Mio and Risa were pretty much always hanging out together, he took a chance and guessed she too happened to be around. And boy was he was right. The pigtailed girl was resting in the chair in front of him, smirking devilishly as she readjusted her glasses. "I could but you have to spill first. What was this we hear about you and Haruna showing up together this morning?"

"Yeah! Did you two spend the night together? No fair! Why didn't you call me?"

Naruto suddenly choked on literally nothing, coughing into his closed fist as the other smacked into his chest. Him and Haruna? Great, more rumors were being thought up and that meant retribution from any of her male admirers. "-*cough*- N-no…Rito and I ran into her this morning but he ran off and so it was just the two of us…we didn't do anything, especially not what you two are thinking."

"Oh, drat. It would've been such a juicy story…but hey! Guess you're still free then, hmm? Oh wait, here she comes now." All three looked to see the brunette walk through the classroom door and lock onto the trio, giving her a reason to bypass her own desk and stop at Naruto's.

"Hello Risa, Mio, Uzumaki-kun…I see you've heard about the rumors as well." Naruto only grunted and rested his hand in his chin as the two other girls began to laugh. However, something orange caught the blonde's attention and drew his eyes towards a seat further away from the four students. It was Rito, who had shown up sometime during the morning wait and was staring forlornly at the girl who was always on his mind. Until he caught Naruto's intense stare and nearly shrank into himself. The blonde began gesturing over discreetly but the other boy would only continue shaking his head in negativity. This continued on until the bell rang and the school day began and everyone moved off to their own seats.

Too long for his liking, the lunch period finally rolled around. Naruto immediately stood up and moved over to his friend's desk, slapping a palm down and causing him to jump in his seat at the crack. "I'm telling Mikan." he spoke simply, those three little words drawing a look of pure horror out of Rito. His fellow male bolted out of his chair and grabbed the ninja by his lapels, shaking him violently in both fear of his sister and fear of what Naruto would do to when he stopped jostling him.

"You can't! She'll lord it over me and probably tell her at the least inopportune moment!"

"If-if-if you-you don't-don't-don't stop-stop I'll-I'll tell-tell-tell-tell her-her **now**." When Rito finally pulled back and let the blonde gather his senses, Naruto straightened out his wrinkled jacket and leveled him with another glare. "Thank you. Now…you already screwed it up this morning. What happened after I walked away?"

"I…yelled it out and some other girl happened to be in front of me." Really? Now that was an interesting twist.

"So'd anything happen between you two? What did she look like?"

"She was…cute. But she shot me down without even taking a second to consider it. Strange looking, though. Long pink hair, green eyes, this crazy cosplay costume, and…and…hey. She was asking for you. Do you know a girl like that?" Naruto resisted the urge to slam his head into the wall. Lala was looking for him, apparently, and for a reason he was unaware of. Was she going to go home? Maybe she just wanted to say goodbye. He did, after all, leave rather abruptly last night.

"Yeah. We've met."

**WHAM**

"Naruto!" Kenichi nearly rolled into the room after loudly ripping the sliding door open, stumbling forward with a bit of a blush spread across his cheeks. "Holy hell! You gotta-it's-go downstairs! Pretty girl! Big tits! Sexy!" Taking a moment to decipher Kenichi's ramblings, Naruto finally sighed and shook his head at how the rest of the day was going to be difficult.

"Speak of the devil…bet it's Lala." he mumbled to himself, lazily running a hand through his hair. "Alright, I'm coming. Hold on to your pants. Sheesh." He walked out the door, moving at half the pace Kenichi was setting as the dark-haired male rushed down the steps to take in more of the lovely beauty. Naruto could only hope the pinkette didn't say anything to give her origins away while she was there. Whether they believed her or not, well…it would still cause quite the ruckus.

"Naaaaaaaruto~! Where are you?" Black soles clicked with every step gaining the attention of every member standing in the hallway, whether they be male or female. The testosterone-laden teenage boys were giving extra consideration to every jiggle of her chest and sway of her curves as she walked down the hallway though. The Devilukan continued calling out for the jinchuriki, ignoring the lewd whispers and constant eye-raping she was receiving.

"Mou…I finally figured out this is where he was at and I still can't find him…"

Peke chose to remain silent with her master's ramblings, instead choosing to muse on the reactions of the students in the hallway. It was ever so amusing to see them doing their best not to lose control and faint outright. '_**After all, Lala-sama inherited her beauty from her poor deceased mother, who was labeled as the most beautiful woman in the universe.**_' Two boys stepped in Lala's path and the action caused her to stop, making the little robot metaphorically raise an eyebrow she did not possess. Neither of these two were the Earthling known as Naruto, who her master seemed to be preoccupied with finding.

Peke would have blinked if she had eyes instead of scanning optical units. Lala never did reveal as to why she was a searching for the odd human. Naruto had given her a valid reason to return home the night before and the pink-haired alien had remained strangely quiet until the sun had finally risen over the horizon. The two had then returned to the blonde's home but neither he nor the 'Ero-sennin' older male were in, giving them a reason to fly around town in their exploration and finally turn up here at this school. Their last lead had even confessed to Lala but that was rather to be expected. She naturally turned him down. And now…there were these two unappealing and rather ordinary boys blocking their passage.

"W-wow! You're really pretty, miss! Are you from the drama club?"

"Hey! We'll help you find that Naruto guy!"

"Really? Thanks!"

They motioned for her to follow and she nodded, getting a once over from both males as they began to move down the hallway. They would have tried to work their 'magic' on her but a third boy came rushing over and tried to pull her away with his own words. That was followed by another, and another, until a large group of boys were fighting each other right there in the hallway with Lala watching in vapid curiosity. Until a glint of gold shined brightly from the steps and caused her to break out in a wide smile.

"Naruto! I found you!" she cheered, dramatically pointing a finger at the boy she had been diligently searching for.

Said boy placed his foot on solid ground after maneuvering down the steps before sidestepping the awkward dogpile and stopping in front of the cheery girl. "Lala…I thought you were going home?" Her smile wavered before dropping into a pout, causing the mass of men to pause in their beatings and watch on in jealous interest. He's even with this new hot girl, now? Blasphemy!

"I thought about what you told me…but I still don't want to. Besides, you promised you'd take care of me!"

'_Take…care of her?_' was the general thought going through all those present, sans Naruto and Lala. What did she mean by take care of her?

A hand gently covered the pair of bright blue eyes as Naruto sighed and inclined his head. "Damn…I did, didn't I? I forgot…I guess the excitement of last night sorta clouded my mind. Sorry…so you're really sticking around then?" She nodded quickly at his question, smiling brightly yet again.

'_Excitement of last night?_'

"Besides, I did a lot of thinking last night after what we did. And I came to a wonderful conclusion!"

'_What…they did?_'

"Oh? Well besides the obvious, what's that then?"

"Hey, Naruto." It was Kenichi who spoke, causing the blonde and pinkette to turn and look at him. The other boy had been there the whole time watching them as they interacted and frankly, he was confused. And he just had to ask. "Who is she? How do you know her?"

"Uh…"

What was he to say? She's an alien that warped into his bathroom while he was there, both naked mind you, and they were also the reason the park exploded because they were fighting against two of her family's hired muscle? Yeah, that'll fly real well. But before he could even think of a proper cover story, his arm found purchase between two amazingly soft mounds as the alien's limbs wrapped possessively around his own and held him close.

"He's my fiancé~!"

"WHAT?" Multiple shouts ripped through the halls as the gathered boys felt their hopes drop like a sack full of concrete chucked out of a high rise. No way! He was already so chummy with the girls here at school and now he's got this hot foreign-looking girl as a wife? Why did some guys get all the luck? Naruto's head slowly rotated in small, jerky motions until he was face to face with the still smiling female. His eye nearly twitched at the way she was totally acting like this was a plausible and erstwhile fact.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he said softly, causing Lala to raise a hand in front of her mouth and look back at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"But you told me you loved me…or was that only a lie?" It moved out like a ripple in the surface of a pond. Her attractive charm had already infected the masses and clouded their already biased judgment. And the innocent look she was currently giving off made their hearts leap and blood boil. Naruto had wooed such a woman and then dropped her like she wasn't even worth it? How. Dare. He.

But the blonde was only confused. He never said that...did he? No. He'd remember something like that. So was she trying to guilt trip him somehow?

"GET HIM!"

"Fuck. Off." The boy's halted in their tracks, a sudden pressure bearing down on them and instilling a sense of ominous fear in their hearts. Naruto's eyes had shifted from their usual bored or slightly chipper glaze into a rather sharp glare. But for whatever reason, the stare they were now receiving gave them the feeling if they took one more step it would be a rather serious mistake. Even Kenichi was worried, it being the first time he had ever seen such a serious or antagonized version of Naruto.

What they didn't know was Naruto was actually using a small amount of KI to root them in their spots. It was something Jiraiya had actually taught him in case they were ever up against a weak opponent they didn't feel like fighting. All seasoned shinobi could use such a technique at will instead of when their emotions peaked. So he flashed them some ill intent at a level lower than academy Sakura and voila. The ninja saw it as the quickest, most inconspicuous way to stop the horde without running like a bitch or doing something drastic.

"Why are they so angry? And why'd they stop?"

"They're mad because of what you said, Lala. Come on, let's go talk somewhere private." He tugged on the limb still attached to him but jerked slightly when a gloved hand entwined with his own. So he jerked again. And again. But damn, Lala had a strength that was up there with Tsunade's. It must have been because she was an extraterrestrial or something. So with a sigh he took her to the roof, Lala all the while humming to herself and swinging their conjoined arms as they moved. When the duo were out of sight, the boys each released a collective breath of relief. Kenichi even made a mental note never to piss him off if he could help it.

A fresh wind touched his face as they stepped out into the light as Lala released him from her grasp, spinning around as she looked out over the side of the roof. She was almost like a big kid…in the body of a good-looking teenager.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He moved up to her right side and leaned his forearms on the fence, staring out at the clouds floating lazily in the air. It was actually quite relaxing…Shikamaru was really onto something here.

"Okay. So you're staying here on Earth instead of going home. You have your other reasons, apparently, besides the obvious. But what I don't understand is why you just proclaimed I was your fiancé in front of a bunch of people when you said last night that you ran away **specifically because **you were being set up with marriage proposals. I just…don't get it. I barely know you, let alone like you in such a way to get married."

"So you don't want to get married because you don't love me?"

"Uh…yeah?" Also, he just didn't want to get married. At least, not yet…if it was even possible for him and his 'condition'. And her logic was making his brain hurt. Run away from marriage only to marry someone else she didn't even know? Ow.

A finger pressed against her lips as she stared at him unblinkingly. The quiet stare eventually morphed into one of her eye-smile cheerful grins as she waved her arm in a rather dismissive manner. "That's okay! I can live with that!"

"You're missing the point…"

Peke chose that moment to interrupt, a tone of understanding within the little automaton's voice. "**Lala-sama. I can see now what you're trying to do-hrnk!**"Two palms slapped the sides of the large makeshift hat, silencing the rest of whatever Peke was about to utter.

"Quieeet! You don't know what you're talking about!" she whispered quickly, turning away from the blonde even though he could still hear every word clearly . He was right there, you know.

"I think I get it too. You're using me, aren't you? Or trying to. Why else would you want to randomly propose like that. Look, Lala…if you're going to use me to get your other fiancé candidates to back off, then please find someone else to take my spot. I don't have the time to watch over you while continuing my mission."

"Ah, you caught me." she giggled, poking her tongue out from between her lips. "But it won't be bad at all! You're nice and dependable after what you showed last night, and strong too. Anyone that comes after me, you can fight off easily. I just wanted to help last time though. And besides…" she edged closer, bumping him with her hip. "-you promised!~" she finished in singsong.

"…and I don't break my promises. Tch. Fine. But I'm not going to marry you, alright? It'll be pretend until these other guys back off and leave you alone." Lala cheered in joy, drowning out the quiet mutterings of her robot servant as the deal was finalized. Sixteen years old and he was already getting 'married'…Tsunade was going to kill the both of them upon reading Jiraiya's next report.

Goody.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"…did I miss something?"

"She's living here for now. No comments from you." Naruto walked past Jiraiya, who was once again sitting in his spot on the couch with a mess of notes encumbering the area. Lala had surprisingly waited for him on the roof while he toiled away (read; slacked off) downstairs in class. Kenichi had stopped him at one point and Naruto honestly thought the boy was going to lay into him for their last encounter. Surprisingly…the dark-haired boy had dropped to his knees and wrapped a death hold around one of the ninja's legs and begged for him to teach him his ways. The blonde was more embarrassed by the fact that Kenichi was imploring him in such a way but in the end he was able to shake him off and gather his new housemate.

The looks they received on the way home were varied. He just knew that tomorrow he'd be assaulted by Mio and Risa about his companion.

Jiraiya blinked rapidly as he turned and looked at the grinning Lala before his eyes latched back onto his apprentice. "So…she's staying with us again?"

"Yes. For real this time. I promised…"

"-and Naruto Uzumaki never goes back on his promises." the two finished in stereo, Jiraiya quoting his student before sighing and running a hand through his long hair.

"You see? This is why I hate that you don't think things through a lot. First she's staying, then you come home all pissy and say she isn't and now she is again. While I for one am not against having some feminine charm grace the place, I just wish you'd make up your damn mind already."

"Well she is. Come on, Lala-chan. I'll show you to your room upstairs. It'll be spare but you can fill it up with whatever you want."

"Why would I have my own room?" she asked, having remained silent during the two ninja's conversation. Naruto stared back at her, curious about the genuine confusion emanating from the pretty alien's visage. "Wouldn't I just sleep in your bed?"

Now it was Jiraiya's turn to slowly raise an eyebrow at her indistinct sentence as a hand subconsciously fanned out to search for a writing utensil. Had his idiot apprentice finally done something right for once, under his very nose? Naruto, however, looked just as uncertain as Jiraiya currently felt.

"Why would you want to sleep in my bed?"

"Because we're gonna be married, silly!" Oh god no. A primal fear suddenly gripped the blonde's spine as soon as that short amount of words came forth from her lips. His head spun slowly, _ever so slowly , _until his eyes locked onto his master who more than likely was finding some sort of amusement in his current predicament.

In actuality, the pervert's jaw was loosely open in barely concealed awe. That was probably not a good sign. Even Lala had taken to waving a hand in front of the unresponsive man's face with lackluster results. Shrugging to each other, the two teenagers left Jiraiya behind as they moved up the staircase. His brain might've exploded, but then again Lala _did_ just reveal their plans to him in a less than stellar way.

Even if they were false.

It seemed the old man couldn't handle the words Naruto and married in the same sentence and he shut down to preserve his higher task functions (as little as there were). Oh well. He'd recover at some point and for now, the peace and quiet that alluded to his godfather's forthcoming ribbings was a welcoming sign.

"So…here we are. Fix it up however you want. We'll probably have to take you shopping for normal clothes. No offense but Peke doesn't exactly blend in with the locals." He stopped and opened one of the unused bedrooms he had picked at random, actually being the one right across from the steps. The girl strolled in slowly and looked around, a finger at her chin as she took in the bare corners and pale coloration of the walls. Was it not up to her standards or something?

"So which is your room?" she asked nonchalantly, bouncing a bit on the mattress as she sat on the bed. Naruto only jerked his head towards the only door visible through the alien's own.

"That one. Two over from the bathroom where you first showed up. But shouldn't you know that?" She just giggled lightly and shook her head.

"All the doors sorta look the same so I needed to know where things were from my own room."

"Ah…yeah. That makes sense."

**BING-BONG**

'_Doorbell?_' "Ah, I better get that. Take the time to explore if you want." Her chirp of confirmation brought a small grin to his lips before he left to greet their doorman. Oddly enough, Jiraiya had actually recovered enough to answer but the poor man was only standing in the doorway with his hand on the handle. His body blocked the other person from view and when Naruto moved closer he could see Jiraiya still sported a far-off glassy look, complete with hanging jaw.

The blonde gently pushed the sannin away before turning and looking at the newest arrival. "Sorry about that. He just heard some news that was apparently quite a shock. So how can I…uh?" The man's appearance screamed 'off-worlder' as Naruto finally noticed and nearly made the boy sigh. The mysterious new male wore a set of boney-metal plated armor with a black underlay and a black cape. His hair was a shade grayer than Jiraiya's but he looked to be in his 20's. Blue eyes looked curiously at the blonde in front of him and he was panting in quick bursts, as though he had been on the run for awhile now.

"You match…the…description…" He gulped and inhaled deeply, letting the captured air escape from his nostrils at a slow pace to try and calm his racing heart. "You are…the boy who allowed Lala-sama to escape." A thin tail slowly wound out from behind his leg reminiscent of a scorpion and cemented the belief on what this man was in Naruto's head.

"Yeah…I am. I take it you're looking for her? Because she really doesn't want to go."

He sighed and stood up straight. "Yes. I know. But it is my orders and I need to fulfill them. Do you know where she is? I wish to at least speak with her. My associates are a rather pushy bunch and since force did not work then I wish to try with words."

Naruto regarded the man before him. "I might. But I need your word that there won't be any fighting inside the house because I'm _really_ not in the mood." The soldier bowed with an arm placed across his chest, something Naruto guessed was a gesture of concurrence. He stepped aside and allowed him in to sit near Jiraiya, yelling up for the pinkette as he moved off to wrangle up something to drink.

"Oi! Lala! You have a guest!" Fingers moved through cupboards as he searched for needed cups and other required items as he finally found what he was looking for. The tea was brewing up, and while it probably wouldn't be tasty, at least they would have _something_. It was oddly quiet out there and he hoped at least that their guest had kept his word. The ninja suddenly snorted, realizing he never even asked for a name. Idiot. Well, Lala would have raised a ruckus if he tried anything. Placing everything on a tray he moved back off into the front room to help sort out whatever was about to go down.

The scene he met with was actually sort of humorous. Lala and the new guy were locked in some sort of staring contest. The toad sage was sitting in a recliner, still stupefied but that was no surprise. The alien cutie had taken over the couch and was sitting directly across from their guest who was resting in the only remaining chair. With no other choice the jinchuriki walked over, placed the tea on top of the pervert's notes, and sat down next to the girl.

"So…I take it this guy comes from your planet too."

Lala nodded curtly and pouted, pointing a finger at her fellow Devilukan. "Go away, Zastin! I'm not heading back!"

"Please, you must reconsider! Your father has willed it and so it must be done!" The female only stuck out her tongue at the newly named Zastin in response.

"Nyeeeeh! I won't go back to daddy! I have a reason!"

"And what could possibly detain you so greatly that you go against the orders of our king?"

Whoa. Back had him blinking in surprise before he turned and looked at the cutely scowling female. Their king wants her to go back home. To meet potential husbands. And Lala called him 'daddy'…and that makes her his daughter…and _that_ means…

Well shit. He'd been harboring a fugitive princess this whole time. A princess. Royalty. The smack resounded through the room as palm kissed forehead, all eyes zeroing in on the blonde as he continued keeping his hand pressed against his skin.

"You're a princess? You never told me you were a princess…what the hell, Lala-chan?"

"You never asked." she teased with a small laugh, causing the toad sage to actually croak out a small noise. It seemed as though his mental facilities had finally rebooted and at the greatest possible time too.

"Y-you're marrying an alien princess?"

"Marriage!" Zastin shot up from his seated position, eyes wide in shock as his young charge calmly took a sip of tea. The soldier looked towards Naruto for confirmation but the best he could do was shrug sheepishly. The pinkette placed her drink back upon it's coaster before snuggling up against the ninja and pointing at him.

"Yeah! That's right! I…I fell in love with this guy here! We're gonna get married and I'm going to stay here on Earth!"

'_This guy? I have a name._'

"I…see. So that is how it is…" Zastin was slowly rubbing his chin, looking at the male teenager who had apparently won his princess' heart with a critical eye. "Yes, that makes sense. My men gave a report of an Earthling who protected Lala-sama…"

"That's right! So go back home and tell my dad that I'm staying here and I won't be meeting with any other candidates. I'm taken now." Perhaps in her innocence, she believed this would be what convinced Zastin to listen to her and finally leave her alone. In a way, it was an order form a member of the royal family after all. But the pale-haired man only tilted his head just enough to allow him to see under the fringe of his bangs, giving him a look that people such as Naruto and Jiraiya had seen plenty of times before.

"No. It doesn't work that way. I have received an order from our king to take you back. I will not be able to show my face to our leader if I approve of the marriage of a suspicious Earthling and our beloved princess."

Lala's own gaze turned mildly angry with even Peke flapping the wings of her hat in turn. "Then what can we do?"

"This." The man reached between his back and his cloak and withdrew a broadsword from who knows where. He pointed it towards Naruto who angled himself between the pinkette and the tip of the blade which easily reached across the coffee table. It was easy to tell he wouldn't physically harm the daughter of his ruler but that didn't stop the blonde from moving in turn. "-I have to test him to make sure he is worthy of the Devilukan name."

It wasn't that hard to plot his next course of action. Leaning forward slightly, Naruto steepled his fingers together and flicked his eyes towards his teacher. Jiraiya gave him a barely imperceptible nod of the head and that was all he needed. "I'm glad that you didn't attack me outright, as I had asked that you do not fight inside the house. However-" He began knocking the fingertips together as though he was pondering, 'accidentally' causing the pointer and middle fingers of each hand to cross. "-you still drew a weapon against us and I cannot allow that."

**POOF**

The man yelled out as four sets of hands suddenly immobilized him at the arms and legs. He had allies waiting in the shadows? Impressive, but nothing the bodyguard couldn't easily handle. While he commended the boy for such a ruse, his Deviluke augmented strength,_ far higher than any mere Earthling_, could easily throw them off. However, before he could shake himself loose, a heel descended from on high and crashed heavily against the top of his skull. The blow disoriented him for a moment as his neck snapped downwards towards the floor…

…but it was just enough for the experienced soldier to be wrapped tightly in wire and dropped to the floor. As his vision swam and full consciousness slowly returned, Zastin struggled against his bonds. It was futile though, as whatever the bindings were made of were rather sharp and bit deeply wherever they encircled him against his thin undersuit. His arms were strapped together at his back and he couldn't use his limbs to break free either. Dammit!

"What trickery is this?" The shout had a double meaning, as he finally realized there were now six different blonde fiancés to his princess standing in the room. Then again, it was reported that the boy had some sort of replication power but seeing it up close was a strangely interesting sight. They even disappeared in mirrored tufs of smoke.

"Sorry man, but ninjas don't fight fair." Naruto kneeled down and grabbed the top rim of Zastin's chest piece before cocking back his fist and driving the man's head back into the floorboards. Even against a tough alien like him, a chakra-fueled punch with the added bonus of cracking their head against the ground was enough to send Zastin for another loop and draw blood. "Damn, I thought that would put him out…"

"L-Lala-sama! You see? Ow…he has no honor, attacking me while I was incapacitated!"

"Stop whining. You'd suck as a shinobi."

"I cannot allow this marriage! For him and you to wed, that would mean this cowardly fool would reign over the countless planets currently under the care of King Deviluke! That's why the king has gathered possible candidates from all over the galaxy to meet with you!"

"And that's what I don't like!" The dam finally broke as Lala kneeled down next to the jinchuriki and flicked Zastin harshly in his injury. "Daddy only cares more about an heir than me!"

"That's not true!"

"**SHUT UP!**"

Both aliens stopped, taken aback by the sudden powerful intrusion of the blonde. For a split second it looked as if his eyes were glowing a dangerous red but only bright ocean blue stared back, though obviously strained.

"…are you two finished already? I don't care because I'm speaking now. My life…isn't normal. And it will never be normal as long as I'm still alive." His eyes were now shadowed by his hair as they gave him their attention, curious as to what he would say. The elder toad summoner was silently sitting in his chair, a bit amused by all he was seeing as he took a sip of his student's subpar attempt at making tea. By all that had just happened, Jiraiya finally realized the two weren't actually going to wed but instead use it as a way to try and help her out. At least that's what he had gathered with the information that had been presented. Still, it was quite a fair amount of shell shock when Lala just came right out and said it.

'_Let's see where you go with this, Naruto._'

"As Lala already knows, I hate it when people complain about their family seeing as I never had one. I've always pretty much been on my own and had to learn things by myself. But one thing I could plainly see, was that a family with a marriage where the man and woman loved each other was one that lasted and never turned bad. I don't know you, Lala. Not well enough for such a big step. I wouldn't even be a good husband anyway, nor do I have the time to start a family no matter how much I'd like one. I don't like you in that way…how can I marry someone who I don't have feelings for? I already told you this but I'm saying it again anyways so it sticks. It wouldn't work out between us and I couldn't hurt you like that. You can still stay here if you want, and I'll keep guys like this off your back…but even though the deal's been going on for less than a day I don't think I can go with the fake marriage thing anymore. I can't pretend with something that major and it's getting way too complicated for me. Ruler of the galaxy? It'll be enough just being the damn leader of my village."

Jiraiya sighed softly and took another sip of his beverage. Leave it to Naruto to get angry, yell out against something, and yet still worry about the feelings of the opposite party. Lala was looking at him in awe again, a faint coloring dusting her cheeks as one of her hands slowly rose up to her mouth.

"Naruto…that makes me…happy."

"…huh?"

"What you said is true…even though you said you don't like me twice now. It's the same with the candidates Daddy keeps trying to set me up with. You understand what I'm going through and why I ran away…I want to live a life of my own, not what I'm asked or ordered to do. And one of those many things I want to do by myself is marry someone that **I** want to. Like you had guessed already, I was using our 'marriage' as a way to not go back, and then when things had calmed down I could go off on my own. But now…now I don't care about what was said before. I t-think…I really want to marry you, Naruto Uzumaki. No, I want to marry you!"

The snort from Jiraiya sent tea spraying all over the table, him no longer finding such a notion to equal the end of the world. In fact, it was downright hilarious! _Now _she really wants to get hitched even though he more or less said he didn't want to? Didn't Naruto have great luck to make up for his shitty life? Oh wait, no…he only had amazing skill when it came to gambling. Yup, he was in the hole now.

"Uh, Lala-chan? That's not what I-"

"I've lost! While my duty to the king is first and foremost, I cannot help but be swayed by both your and Lala-sama's words! I tried to be oblivious to how our princess felt but now that everything has been revealed…I,I admit my loss…" Tears were freely flowing down Zastin's cheeks, making the boy shake his head. Were they even listening anymore? "If you release me, I shall go and report this to Lala-sama's father. However I do not think the countless other husband candidates will agree with such a decision. Take care of her, for you truly understand Lala-sama's feelings."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Just disregard whatever I say…" Naruto mumbled, slicing the bindings with a kunai and allowing the bodyguard to his feet. Readjusting his armor and placing his sword back wherever it was summoned from, Zastin gave another formal bow and left the house with a now greater purpose. The blonde was nearly bowled over when his new, pink, actual fiancé attached herself to his shirt and began joyfully nuzzling her cheek against his chest which, by the way, she noted was rather muscularly taut. Something her female mind filed away.

"Naaaaaruto~!" she hummed, getting him to sigh and gently pat her on the back. What else could he do now that no one was listening anymore? Besides, she'd probably get bored of him after awhile and find someone else. After all, he was only an Earthling, no matter how much cooler he automatically became by being a ninja.

"Shouldn't you be rejoicing with your wife-to-be, brat?" he teased, getting a scowl from the blonde. "Don't look at me like that. I'm still awaiting the response from Tsunade-hime to see how screwed we are. Better to celebrate now while you still can."

"Wait, you told her about Lala?"

"No, but that's going to wind up in the next one. Whether she believes it or not, I don't know. She might think I'm drunk or something. The report stated how we were not in the Elemental Nations anymore. I'll bet you twenty ryou she threatens me by wanting to neuter me with a dull kunai."

"Thirty says it's with her bare hands."

"At least I'll get some sort of action before the end." he sighed melodramatically before tilting his head towards the still cuddling woman attached to Naruto's torso. The young shinobi closed his eyes slowly before his two arms twitched. Said limbs then wrapped around the pink-haired alien princess and pulled her a bit closer, letting the girl mewl in contentment. It was…actually nice, hugging someone without getting hit in return. Part of him wished it was Sakura though, and the other half yelled at the first half for thinking such a thing. He had a promise to keep, dammit.

The moment was ruined when her large hat fell from its perch on top of her head due to Lala pushing her face deeper. Without Peke attached to maintain her clothing, the girl immediately lost all semblance of her outfit and so there was now a fully naked female pressing herself up against him. Again.

"L-Lala!"

"What?"

"Gah! Peke!"

"**Lala-sama, your clothing!**"

"Oh? Oh, Peke you fell off?"

"Gyahahahaha!"

"Shut up, pervert! Peke, give her clothes! Lala, let go!"

"No way!"

"**One moment!**"

"Kid, I don't care how much you bitch. This is going to be my greatest creation ever!"

"Screw you!"

More crashes, bangs, and yells continued on for some time until the excitement died down enough for a normal semblance to return to the lavish household. Off in the far distance, a small light seemingly hovered over the ground before rocketing off into the atmosphere. On that odd ball of radiance stood three aliens with one purpose in mind; to tell their leader of the latest development.

They could only hope that the king took their news calmly. The last time he was angered, three planets were immediately disintegrated into fine dust before he calmed down enough to speak. Woe is Naruto if their ruler disagreed with his daughter's choice.

For it would immediately equal death.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Second is done. Oh boy. Not much in the note this time. I'm going back to watching Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya. I've been watching it over and over again now that I have it on DVD because it's just so damn good._

_Later._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 3:

"So…yeah. How utterly fucked up is that?"

"Naruto…can't you ever _not_ get yourself into a crazy situation? I mean, seriously! Not only are you in some place outside of the Elemental Nations-"

"Jiraiya's fault."

"-but now you're engaged! As in, getting a wife! And not just any wife! An alien! Who knew those were real? But should we be surprised at all that you're the one to find them?...back me up here, brother."

A large slurp resounded in response. "These munchies are really good!"

"…not what I was looking for…but yeah, they are."

Naruto just rubbed his forehead as he sat cross-legged upon the roof of Sainan High School. The lad had summoned his two amphibian friends Gamakichi and Gamatatsu after switching places with a clone and deciding to play hooky. After all, he hadn't spoken with his friends in some time and with the turn his life had taken recently the blond hadn't been able exactly find the time to do so. So…why not now?

Gamakichi was the older of the two brothers and son of the Toad Boss named Gamabunta. He was an orange-colored toad with purple markings around his eyes, mouth, stomach, and brow ridge and a blue jacket that covered his form. Like all of his species, Kichi's pupils were oblong, set in yellow sclera and they were a bit squinty compared to other toads.

Compared to his sibling, Gamatatsu was pure yellow with orangish markings around his eyes, mouth, and chest. He was the more childish of the two, with a dopey looking face and personality, and a similar styled coat. Both toads had grown over the years from their former puppy sizes and were now as big as boulders but had transformed into a smaller mass to lower suspicion. It would be rather incriminating to see two large animals in vests just chilling on top of a school and it was something Naruto didn't need. To satiate the brothers' tribute, he had bought a large order of taiyaki and the three were currently passing it around, scarfing them down as the time passed.

"So how's things been back home?"

"Eh." Gamakichi shrugged as half a consumed fish hung from his mouth. "Sorta boring. Dad's been training us but other than that, not much. I thought you weren't ever going to summon us again, ya jerk."

"I can't just call you guys willy-nilly out here. These civilians are so…normal. Humans and animals don't have powers out here. _Talking_ animals would bring all kinds of trouble down on me and Ero-sennin. Why do you think I summoned you up here where it's hard to see and then had you shrink down?"

"Yeah, yeah. So tell us more about your new wifey. She cute?"

The blond scratched his cheek awkwardly and looked away before sighing and nodding his head. "Yeah. She is. But I'm pretty sure this whole fiancé thing is going to fizzle out. She's an alien. I'm a ninja. Completely different ways of life…I think. I don't really have time for a relationship anyways."

"You got a picture of her?"

Naruto's phone was removed from his pocket before he began fumbling through the different menus. It was in there somewhere…ah ha! There it was! Hitting the center button on the numeric pad, he brought up the moderate amount of pictures stored on the device's memory. At the same time he was explaining to the two toads what the hell a cell phone was so they knew what he was doing. In his phone he had a picture of each of his friends for visual ID whenever they called or texted him, and apparently a few he had no idea were even on there.

It must have been when the others were showing him how to use the cell. There was one of Kenichi and Rito goofing around, one of Haruna, Mio, and Risa all smiling and giving peace signs towards the shutter. There was even one of…ahem…now he knew who had taken the photos. The final picture was of Risa winking at the camera and sticking her tongue out playfully as she raised her school skirt just enough to allow him a clear view of her underwear. The thought crossed his mind of deleting it in case Jiraiya ever caught wind of it but then again…she did go to the trouble of posing…well, it wouldn't hurt to keep it for now. **Finally** shaking his head mentally, the jinchuriki found the headshot he had taken of Lala and angled it towards the amphibians.

Gamatatsu hopped onto his lap as Gamakichi nestled himself amongst the boy's golden locks like he used to years ago. Upon finally getting a glimpse of the pinkette, the yellow toad began giggling while his older brother whistled in appreciation. "Damn, nii-chan! You're seriously going to give up on that? It's like they took Pinky #1 from Konoha and made her hotter which resulted in Pinky #2! You're an idiot! I say stick with this Lala and give up on the other one!"

"Thank you, Kichi. Thank you for your wonderful advice. All my problems are now solved." he deadpanned before skipping to the next picture of the alien princess and the final one on his cell phone. It was of him and his 'fiancé' taken before they had gone to bed the night before, as she had wanted to take one of the both of them. She was smiling brightly with her cheek pressed against his own, arms around his neck as his own arm was held out to snap the photo. Her exuberance had even seeped over into Naruto and he couldn't help but grin in turn as the shutter clicked.

"You two look really happy there." Gamatatsu interjected, getting Naruto to blink at how honest he sounded. They did, didn't they?

"I guess we do, huh. Well…I stand by what I said before."

"You're a dumbass. I'm gonna tell on you so next time you summon dad he's gonna bitch you out!" The orange toad slapped the blond a few times in tandem before hopping back down onto the tiles and grabbing another taiyaki.

"That is the stupidest threat I ever heard." Kichi grunted as the ninja chuckled before all three stiffened in worry when the sound of the roof's doorway opened and shut loudly. A trio of heads turned as one to get a look at their guest and as his blue eyes landed on the figure, Naruto knew that his master would have done anything to be there at that exact moment.

It was a woman, probably a teacher, with a look of surprise in her olive green eyes and etched upon her pretty features. She had on a doctor's lab coat but it did nothing to hide the clothing worn underneath that one wouldn't expect on a faculty member. A frilly pink blouse cinched at the waist by a thick white belt that did nothing to cover the cleavage of her very large bust. A dark blue skirt that did its job of covering her lower region but even then it was partly strained against her hips. Her legs were covered by a pair of thigh-high stockings the same color as her skirt and ended in a pointed shape with white edges, and lastly she wore a pair of white heels. Her hair was reddish-brown and extended past her chin, flaring out at the ends.

"Oh my. I wasn't aware anyone was up here." she said aloud in an oddly sensual voice. Naruto laughed awkwardly while trying to push the two toads out of sight but it was a failure on his part. "I see you're a student but why aren't you in class? And…are those frogs?"

"Toads!" he amended hastily, clapping a hand over both their mouths while pretending to pet them so they didn't give away the fact they were more than mere animals. "They're toads. I was bored and needed some fresh air so I decided to come up to the roof and, uh…feed my pets? I couldn't leave them home alone today and smuggled them in. Sorry, but I thought I'd get away with it by keeping them on the roof."

The lady giggled lightly and walked over until she was standing right in front of Naruto, eyeing his bag of treats with amused curiosity overtaking her previous astonishment. "You feed your pets taiyaki? I wasn't aware amphibians ate such a thing."

"It's only once in awhile and they love it. I'm sorry, sensei…um, you're a teacher right?"

She hummed and bowed her head slightly, giving him a smile in turn. "Correct. I'm Ryoko Mikado, Sainin High School's doctor. I too came up here to clear my head. After all it gets rather stuffy just sitting around every day all by myself while in my office."

"Ah. No wonder I didn't know you. I recently transferred and haven't hurt myself enough to warrant going to the nurse's office. I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" He grinned stupidly, getting the two toads to roll their eyes at his tone. It was an action that did not go unnoticed by Mikado but she never commented on their behavior.

"A pleasure to meet you, Uzumaki-san. But isn't it dangerous to leave your pets on the roof unsupervised?"

"Nope. They're well trained. But if you think it's dangerous then I better do something about it. Thanks for your concern, Mikado-sensei. I'll see you around!" He quickly rounded up the animals and gave her a parting wave before rushing back out the door and onto the stairwell. The smirk never left her face as she watched him flee, not releasing her pleased laugh until the door sealed itself with a click. Well that was rather amusing and helped to brighten up her dreary day. Green eyes looked down at the bag he had forgotten in his haste and she picked it up before rolling the top until it was closed.

"There are a few left…I can always return them later on if I see him again." This Naruto seemed rather interesting. Was he an alien? It would be the most logical answer to what she had witnessed. Those toads were obviously not normal and she was pretty certain he had been conversing with them. There was also the fact he had been up **here** when not five minutes prior she had been walking through the halls and saw him in one of the classrooms paying attention to the lesson plan.

Very interesting.

"Damn that was close. I wasn't expecting anyone to go up there." Gamakichi was grumbling, still a bit steamed at being called a frog as well as a pet but he grunted at Naruto's sentence anyways.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, Tatsu and I better get going. We'll tell everyone you said hi and explain why you and Jiraiya have been barely summoning us."

"Really? Thanks. I wouldn't exactly be able to summon the boss to tell him why without blowing our cover."

"Next time you call us, get more of those fish cake things!"

"Sure. Alright, take care you two." Gamatatsu was the first to go, waving at his blond friend before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Gamakichi lingered for a moment longer, sending a shrewd grin towards Naruto and pointing his pinky finger skyward in a rather explicit gesture.

"Heh heh, that Mikado was quite a babe. Don't you think so, bro?"

Naruto felt himself grow hotter as his mind quickly remembered the woman but even through his blush he grimaced at the perverted summon. "You really need to stay away from Ero-sennin."

"I just calls them as I sees them. Later!" One plume of chakra-produced smoke later and Naruto was once again all alone on the stairs. Seriously…why was he surrounded by perverts? As he began sneaking back towards his classroom he just so happened to 'forget' about that little picture of Risa he had kept on his phone. Hypocrite.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Like the good little ninja he was, the teenage jinchuriki switched places with his clone as the class went on break with no one being the wiser. Memories of the teacher's lesson flooded his mind but he pretty much ignored them, taking the time to instead realize he had left his taiyaki on the roof. Shit. Oh well, no point in going back now. They were gone forever…or more likely, bird food. Conversing with Kenichi and Rito, time seemed to pass quickly and before he knew it the day had ended. The blond sat there gathering his supplies and stuffing them in his bag as he got ready to leave.

"Hey, Naruto. Have you done anything exciting lately?" The boy blinked as he heard his name being called before turning to look at the source of the voice. The speaker was, of course, Risa and the boy only shrugged before getting up to join his friends while slinging his pack over his shoulder.

"Not really. It's been boring." he responded, lying through his teeth to the girl as she stretched out on top of her desk. The smile on her face turned rather impish as one leg crossed over the other and Risa stared right at him.

"Oh? Then how about you and I make some excitement happen?" Her voice came out breathy and wanting, and he was taken aback. Was this girl always stuck in the mood 'horny'?

"I feel like I should carry a spray bottle with me whenever you're around." Risa burst into laughter and swung off her seat, winking at Mio before slapping on a fake pout as she turned back towards the ninja. He wasn't falling for it though and when he cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, her false expression turned into a real one. "Sorry, Risa-chan. Not gonna work."

"Drat. One of these days, Naruto."

"Speaking of you having one hell of a dirty mind, I noticed the new addition to my pictures today." Her grin returned full force as he waved his phone around in front of her face before the three of them began their trek home. Both Rito and Haruna were stuck with the daily chore of cleaning the classroom today and Saruyama was on an errand for a teacher, leaving the trio to their own devices. Such as it was, they all lived in the same general direction.

"Like it? I thought I'd give you a little preview of what's to come." She sighed happily before she and Mio put their arms around each other's shoulders and walked in tandem with each other. "I'm just surprised you only just found it. I mean, Mio took it for me the day we showed you how to use your cell phone."

Mio readjusted her glasses and threw the lone male a confused glance. "I still think it's weird you had no idea how to make a call."

"Well sorry my old home didn't have fancy equipment."

"Awww! You're just our cute little technologically impaired blond, aren't you?" Naruto smacked Risa's hand away half-heartedly when she began tugging on his cheeks like a child. They continued on for a little while before Naruto moved to turn down another street but paused to ask if they cared if he walked them home. To his surprise they instead wanted to continue walking with him and go to his own house which he didn't have a problem with until he remembered exactly who was now living there.

So he declined, stating it wasn't that good of an idea at the moment.

They asked why.

He told them his guardian was a massive pervert to try and deter them.

The girls countered with how they were used to it thanks to the school's principal. Plus, did he forget who he was talking to?

Naruto couldn't find a reply to that and sighed before saying the house was messy.

They didn't care.

He ran away after giving them a half-assed reply.

It wasn't that far of a jog to make. Skidding to a halt at the path leading up towards his front door, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. He was going to pay for that later on but his actions were a necessary evil. From now on he had to be careful who came over to their place. Pretty much everyone was banned unless they knew what Lala was. That meant like…no one then.

As he walked up the steps he felt a hand tap his shoulder which caused him to turn to see who it was. Tanned skin lost its color and paled upon the discovery of two ornery girls, panting slightly at having to chase after him when Naruto suddenly took off. "How the hell did you catch me? I know I lost you two!" The blond was more worried he was going to be struck, having seen such annoyance and emotion on girls (Sakura, Ino, Tsunade) right before they hit him.

"We already k-knew where you lived thanks to Rito and, and Saruyama."

"You're in trouble, mister."

"I figured, but I was not expecting you to show up anyways. Seriously though…it's not a good idea for you to come in."

"Give us one good reason."

"Naruto!" The door was flung open as a pair of arms reached through and wound around his neck as a feminine body pressed itself against him in a happy greeting. The person was, of course, Lala and almost immediately Mio and Risa were at their sides with approving eyes roving over the alien's body. "Oh? Who are these two?"

"Mio Sawada."

"Risa Momioka, and I must say you have one hell of a body!"

"Thanks!" Lala apparently had no problem when the duo began fondling her and commenting on her assets and appearance, even as the group moved inside the large house and past Jiraiya who was in his customary spot. Upon seeing _three_ girls with his apprentice the toad sage was already in peeping mode and was undeterred as the flustered boy's shoe ricocheted off his nose. They moved up to his room where he let them get comfortable and sent the sannin packing with a punch to the gut. When he walked back inside his living spot he found Risa sprawled out on his bed conversing with the ever innocent Lala while Mio perused his small amount of books.

"Nice costume and fake tail accessory. So you're the reason Naruto didn't want us coming over...he was just too embarrassed to show off the woman he was keeping in his place."

"Don't say it like that…Lala-chan's our houseguest."

"Houseguest? I thought I was your fiancé? Don't you remember last night?" A smack resounded as Naruto slapped his forehead at the pinkette's exuberance with stating their odd relationship. Especially to these two.

"Don't say things like _that_ which sound insinuating either…"

"Fiancé? Well damn! No wonder Naruto here was so resilient to my charms. But then again with your body I can't exactly compete."

Lala suddenly leaned forward with her palms on his bed sheets, an awed expression in her eyes as she looked down the brown-haired female currently lounging on the ninja's bed. "You like Naruto too?"

"Maybe…" she answered with a small wave of her hand, grinning in a way that said 'perhaps I do, perhaps I don't. You'll never know'. The boy they were speaking about just stood there with his arms crossed, glaringly dryly at the smirking brunette and her teasing nature. Mio moved back over to rejoin with an item in her hand, one that had put a devious smirk on the pigtailed girl's face. It was small, filled with many pages, and…orange? He didn't have any orange coverings even though it would be awesome. He had replaced his scrolls with a few novels he picked up at the store after the first time his friends had come over, taking to hiding them under his bed instead.

So where'd the orange book come from? It looked familiar and…oh god no. He knew what it was. And by the looks on Risa and Mio's faces, they did too.

"Well, well, well…look at what we have here. It seems Naruto isn't as naïve as he acts. You're really just a shameless little boy, arent'cha?"

"Although I can tell you're not going to believe me…it's not mine. It was planted by the pervert hovering outside my door."

"At least someone in there appreciates my work!" The muffled reply through the wood was snarky but it instantly caused the two girls to throw it open and all but launch themselves at the sage. They began pestering him about how they couldn't believe _he_ was the author of such a new and beloved series. While Jiraiya was currently being assaulted by two hormonal teens that had just discovered their classmate had known such a person without telling them, Naruto dropped onto his bed and sighed even as Lala moved to be next to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just a really weird day today. Oh, right!" He dropped the flat of his fist into his other palm, realizing something that he had forgotten to do. "Whenever you're around people that don't know you're not an Earthling, don't reveal that you're actually an alien. You have to pretend you're just a normal human girl or else people will get very suspicious of us and we can't have that."

"If you say so…"

"And try not to sneak into my bed again, okay?" What a surprise that had been. Upon waking that morning, the first thing Naruto had noticed was that he wasn't alone anymore and he almost yelled out. _Almost_. Until he caught sight of long, silky pink hair hanging over his own face and chest. It seemed Lala wasn't joking when she said she wanted to sleep in his bed as well.

"'kay! I'll try!" He wasn't convinced but didn't feel like arguing at the moment. The girl was surprisingly stubborn. "I'm surprised though…I thought you were going to say something else like 'don't say I'm your fiancé!'" Lala lowered her voice and rounded her shoulders, doing her best to mimic being a male which actually got Naruto to chuckle.

"Well it's too late now. You already introduced yourself as that and those two will spread it around."

"You're not…mad?"

"Why would I be?"

The princess made a small noise and placed a gloved hand against her chest, smiling softly at his words. "I thought you might get upset like those other times. I'm glad." She turned her head to look at him as her mouth widened to reveal more teeth. The look she was giving him actually caused the teen to blush and swallow the lump in his throat at being her center of attention. He was embarrassed? He was the ninja who created and deployed the Oiroke no Jutsu for actual (debatable) combat purposes! How in the hell could he be embarrassed? He was never self-conscious like he was now!

"Ooooh, Mio! Look at Naruto and Lala-chii getting all familiar with each other while we're out of the room!"

"Maybe we should go? After all, they are going to be newlyweds at some point. Perhaps they want to have some alone time to get…intimate?" Their guests had poked their heads in just enough so that only the faces were visible, Mio's head hovering above Risa's with Jiraiya's above Mio as they watched the 'couple' interact. Naruto was off the bed in an instant, face aflame as Lala cocked her head curiously to the side. Whatever moment they were having was now gone.

"I see you've finally given up on that other girly, eh brat?" All three girls perked up at hearing Naruto was actually interested in another girl. The scowl he was sporting because of the elder was an indication he really didn't want to get into it.

"That doesn't matter right now, does it? She's far away from here. So would you two like to stay for dinner?" The girls shook their heads at his abrupt changing of the subject, stating that while they had fun it was time for them to go anyways. The blonde showed them out, getting a goodbye grope for the trouble. With his face half obscured by his hand, he waved them off and went off to start dinner for the trio. Lala took to watching him as she had nothing else to do, and the pair made small talk while he cooked up a large batch of ramen in a pot. They were having the wonderful food, dammit, no matter how much his teacher bitched later.

The girl seemed awed that he could cook (technically) to which he replied it was a basic skill all ninja were supposed to know, but it wasn't enforced. Him making a regular meal for himself? Not a problem. Him doing it for more than one person…then the trouble began. Give him a river and they'd be eating cooked fish. Sadly, there wasn't one close enough to take advantage of.

The conversation slowly steered in another direction before Naruto asked what she had been up to today. The girl poked her cheek and winked at him in turn, telling the blond he'd actually find out soon enough. While confusing as it didn't actually answer his question he just chalked it up to peppy alien weirdness.

Little did he know, 'soon enough' actually meant the very next day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-**

**CRUNCH**

A hand lashed out, connecting with the already well-beaten alarm clock and denting it even further in its process. Though battered and bruised from the abuse it took every single day, the piece of technology sure could continue taking a beating and keep on functioning morning after morning. Releasing a sigh that morphed halfway through into a yawn, Naruto rolled over onto his back only to discover he wasn't alone.

Again.

He damn near poked his eye out when he rotated and came face to…chest with Lala and nearly fell out of the bed. She looked so peaceful lying there with her body slightly curled into a ball while taking up the left side of his pillow. How Lala got back into his room, however, was a mystery to him. The door was locked and the window was still secure so unless she merely teleported again, he didn't know. The fact she was naked helped solidify the teleportation theory. But Peke was there asleep on his nightstand…so…ah, it was too early to be thinking so hard on the subject.

Sitting up elicited another yawn from the teenager before he rubbed at his eyes and gently shook the pinkette by her shoulder while he averted his gaze. She mewled before he gave her another shake, this time rousing her from her slumber at the movement. Greenish eyes blinked before she got up and stretched, arching her back and forcing him to look fully away again from the sight of her unclothed figure.

"Oh…morning, Naruto-kun!" Lala sat up enough until she was resting on her thighs, raising a hand high in greeting as she smiled at the blond while her free hand whisked through her messy bed hair.

"Yeah…morning, Lala-chan. I see you found your way in here again." His statement was more of an accusation as the Devilukan only smiled at his darkened cheeks, refused to speak on how she had done such a feat. Looking at her face through half-lidded eyes Naruto eventually sighed and stood to gather his clothes for the day. "Could you at least not be naked?"

"But Peke needs to rest and recharge her power supply too." She reached over and began snuggling with the still unmoving robot which helped to calm him. Her front was now hidden behind the little humanoid but to him, it was as if she put on a large shirt that covered everything she shouldn't be exposing.

"Right, so…" He pointed towards his door before the finger dipped downward. "I'm gonna get ready for school real quick and then you can have the bathroom. I'll be downstairs in the kitchen afterwards if you need me." Lala nodded with a quick little 'hmph' that caused her creation to awaken, rubbing at its swirly optics in turn. Satisfied for now, he nodded back before unlocking his door and heading out. Not two seconds later the thatch of blond hair poked back in as he pointed heavily at the woman with an indicting finger. "Stop sleeping in my bed! And if you're not going to listen to that, at least wear something!" Then he was gone, muttering like crazy with a heavy blush because the female had placed Peke on top of the bed and he got an accidental eyeful once again.

"**But I need to rest my batteries…**"

"I know, Peke. It's like he forgets or something. Silly Naruto." Lala 'tsked' before once again lifting the costume robot and moving towards her fiancé's closet. Pulling the wooden barrier open, she pushed through his hanging clothing before reaching the far wall and sliding it to the left. A secret passage, or an entranceway into another part of the lavish household? Possibly. For all intents and purposes, yes it was. But actually…Lala had used her creative smarts to form a link between the closet in her own room and Naruto's. Unless he searched the space thoroughly or saw her use it then it would stay a secret between the alien and her creation.

Besides, it would be more fun to see him try and figure out how she was doing it.

Breakfast passed by quickly and before long Naruto was back on his way to class. Jiraiya was called to the realm of the toads and didn't know how long he would be gone for but had asked Naruto to tell him if anything saucy happened between the two lovebirds. He poofed away before Naruto could retaliate. Lala mentioned she was going to go out to do something on her own but when curiosity got the better of him and asked about it, the girl clammed up and only smiled again which immediately made him suspicious. He was now slightly on edge that she was up to something but it was her life, she could do what she wanted without him badgering her.

Getting a goodbye squeeze from the alien, Naruto headed off to school and left the girl to her own devices. As her arm lowered after she finished waving, Lala immediately rushed into the house and flashed into her room after locking the front door. A bag was thrown open as she threw in a lunch she had made for herself without Naruto's knowing and a few pencils and notebooks she 'borrowed' from her beau. With a prompt to Peke the little machine rearranged itself across Lala's body, shifting from the skintight suit into a very familiar plaid skirt and pale golden vest. Her clothing was now of the Sainin High uniform along with black thigh-high socks and a small hair clip that resembled (and actually was) Peke's head.

"**Lala-sama, why did you not tell Naruto-dono about your induction into his school?**"

"Because I wanted to surprise him!" she chirped before jumping out her window with a small hop. Black wings unfurled from her back courtesy of the costume and allowed her to fly above the rooftops at a quick yet comfortable speed. She couldn't wait until she was there! The Devilukan princess was even able to get herself in Naruto's class! She was so happy about it, wanting to be able to spend more time with the ninja. Plus she'd be able to learn more about Earth, its customs, and she could meet Naruto's friends.

Nothing could go wrong.

"Rito. For the love of god…just tell her already." Said boy let out an unmasculine squeak that caused Naruto and Kenichi to descend into laughter, even as Rito's face became redder and redder. He had been caught staring at Haruna again as she conversed with the two other females with clingy palms. The orange-haired boy had even blown his chance yesterday when he and Haruna were all alone, instead conversing with each other in the smallest amount of words. Rito had found it to be extremely awkward, unknowing that his crush had been going through the exact same predicament. Things mellowed out, however, when Sairenji had tripped and he caught her and the two almost love-birds continued their chores. The problem was Rito got so caught up in spending time with the pretty blackish-purple haired girl that by the time he walked her home and got back to his own he never even thought to ask her out.

Which led to his current ribbing by his two buds.

"I-I will, things just always mess up when I do so I need to-holy crap Haruna-chan's coming over here!" Indeed she was, flanked by Mio and Risa. They all greeted each other with Rito growing mildly distressed but grinned all the same when Haruna smiled at him.

"So what's up? You three need anything?"

"No, not really. Actually…I have a message for you, Uzumaki-kun." The blond crooked a finger towards his chest, blinking stupidly as though there was more than one Uzumaki currently standing in their little group. "Yes you." She giggled lightly before her smiled dropped back into a more neutral expression. "Class representative Kotegawa-san of class 2-A asked me to tell you to abstain from any shameless behavior you're bound to wind up in. Rather strange…but I promised to pass on her scolding."

"_Shameless behavior, eh_? I knew you were hiding your inner pervert." Risa was grinning ear to ear as she sidled right up next to the oddly quiet blond. He looked to be deep in thought, not even responding when Mio and Risa shared a look and then all but tackled him to elicit a response. Instead of freaking out like he normally did or whining while letting it happen (because it would anyways), he continued sitting there before rubbing the nape of his neck and gently pushing them away unconsciously.

"Kote…gawa? I don't remember knowing anyone named that."

"But surely you do? She gave your full name and description."

"So?" he responded blandly. "Anyone could get that information just by going to this school."

"She also mentioned you rudely ran into her out at the market."

Now _that_ sparked his memory. "Wait. Black hair, sorta squinty eyes, acts all prim and proper?" She nodded which got Naruto to snort rather loudly. "Wow, she's still pissed? It's been days already. And-whoa. She's saying it's my fault now? We walked into _each other_. She even said it was partly her fault!"

"So you do know her. Bumping into each other doesn't seem like something to make her get on your case though."

Now he looked sheepish, getting the five other teenagers to share another glance. "Yeah about that…apparently I'm 'a womanizer and lead girls on' because I wasn't dating anyone, or so she says. That's my reputation even though it hasn't even been two months yet since I came here. The hell's up with that?"

"It's total crap. If you were a womanizer, then I'm pretty sure we would've at least done something already." Risa voiced nonchalantly, buffing her nails on her open jacket. Mixed reactions, half embarrassed and half jealous/agreeable, were given by those in attendance as Naruto lightly rapped her across the back of the head with his hand.

"Down, girl. Don't you come with an off switch?"

"Oh, don't act like it doesn't liven up these boring school days up."

"Right…"

Mercifully, the bell rang and everyone moved back to their seats to start the day. After the teacher called attendance and everyone was settled in, the old instructor readjusted his glasses and cleared his throat to re-garner everyone's attention.

"Yes, so…it's rather sudden again, but we have yet another transfer student. You may come in now." As soon as his sentence finished the class door slid open. A feminine leg was the first through, followed by another leg, hips, torso, breasts, arms, and head. All extremely, extremely familiar. Only one girl around here had pink hair, too. So that's what she had been doing…

Naruto slammed his head against his desk with a loud 'clunk'. The newly unveiled Lala skipped inside the room and began bouncing on her heels, grinning wildly as she held up her pointer and middle finger towards the blond in a victory sign. "Woo hoo! Look, Naruto-kun! Now I'm a student here too!" Whispers broke out amongst the masses as they took in their beautiful new classmate, a few of them remembering her from a few days ago in the hallway wearing that weird get-up. Risa and Mio brightened up upon seeing the bubbly pinkette again so soon even as Naruto slowly but steadily continued knocking his head against the wood. Haruna quietly smiled at the new girl, being the only one not to have met or viewed her before. Rito had grown slightly pale at seeing the girl he had inadvertently asked out and been dumped by, and Kenichi's eyes were glued to her chest hidden beneath the blazer.

Already rumors were beginning to circulate around the school about the mysterious new girl. At lunch they sat together along with the other five friends in their group after introductions were given, Lala speaking animatedly about how excited she was and the blond nodding his head in turn. Before long he finally sighed and smiled slightly, shaking his head at what she had done. Well, he supposed it was better than her just hanging around the house all day. She could've gone and went as she pleased since she got her own personal key to the house but what really could she do? If he was in that position he would've gone stir crazy and the jinchuriki still didn't know Lala well enough to foretell how she'd react in that situation.

Her entrance into Sainin High was quite easy. She just asked and the principal immediately let her because, and I quote, 'Of course! You're so cute so yes!'. The guy was a full-on pervert through and through and could actually give _Jiraiya_ a run for his money. An easy bet that the rotund man already had every one of Jiraiya's books that were in print over here after they used them to bribe him into letting the blond join. Naruto also learned her uniform was actually an alteration by Peke as she explained in hush whispers, like a cloths-only henge. It seemed the machine could become any outfit she wanted instead of just the Peke-like bodysuit, pending that the robot had laid optics upon it first.

The day passed by once again and in the end Haruna was tasked with showing the newcomer around the school and its different clubs. With nothing else to do at the moment, Naruto was dragged along by the extremely strong Lala while the others dispersed with their own agendas. It was because of the girls that the rest learned that Lala and Naruto were to be wed at some point, raising many more questions that would be answered at later times.

The two girls spoke at length while the single male walked along with his hands in his pockets, barely paying attention as the tour continued on. It wasn't until they had moved out towards the baseball field that he was brought back into the fold by the princess rushing over and wrapping herself against his arm. "Do you like anyone, Haruna?" The action and question caused Sairenji to turn red, the female stuttering at how she asked it so suddenly and blatantly.

"Wh-why do you a-ask?"

"Because I fell in love recently." Her eyes flickered towards Naruto who began scratching at his cheek nervously. He was so cute! The pinkette was so glad she was the first person she met after her escape. "It's such a strange feeling…my heart pounds so fast…"

"Um, well…"

"UZUMAKI!"

The yell ripped across the field, catching the attention of everyone present and even a few who were inside the nearby building. He knew that voice. Hell, everyone knew that voice. The shinobi only wished that it _wasn't_ who he knew it was. Things were about to get a lot more complicated than Naruto would have hoped for.

"What do you want?" From across the grounds, the baseball team's pitcher Motemitsu stalked forward with a vein bulging in his neck and eyes locked viciously upon the apathetic blond. The athlete still burned with the shame of the boy's last prank against him and he revenge was all he could think of. Oh, how wounded his pride was that day because of that, that…FRESHMAN.

"What I want is to kick your ass for that stunt you pulled!" Motemitsu idly began throwing the baseball in his hands up and down without looking, trying to act nonchalant about his coordination. His fellow teammates who were not currently ogling Lala were commenting on his skill. Said alien was watching him with unveiled wonder, making the boy smirk in thinking he had snared a cutie while in fact she was staring directly at the object in his hands. Naruto nearly made a remark on how well the pitcher was good at handling balls but thought against it. At least, for now.

"Oh wow, what's that?" Lala had stars in her eyes as she continued watching the strange orb, causing Haruna to answer because honestly Naruto didn't know either. The curious female instantly wanted to try out, causing Motemitsu to immediately think now was the perfect time to show up the annoying blond **and** steal away the new girl hanging off his arm. He should've been the one the girls flocked to!

After the woman was given a bat and told what to do, her tail began flicking in anticipation. Motemitsu was the one throwing the ball and decided to give her a chance first with an easy pitch before showing off his expertise. He was not expecting the weakfish-looking girl to hit it with so much force that it nearly scalped him in turn and continued on flying off into the distance.

"Look at it go!"

"**Lala-sama, I believe you need to readjust your strength to that of a human's…**"

To save face Motemitsu tugged his cap lower over his eyes before chuckling. That as one hell of a hit and there was no way he would allow her to get off so easily, especially with that bastard standing over there watching. Said bastard (Naruto) was once again covering his eyes with his hand as Haruna stood in absolute shock at what she just witnessed.

The pitcher's hand lazily rubbed across his chin, smirking all the while at the pinkette. "You're cute AND pretty good at baseball…that's it, I've made a decision. I'll let you be my girlfriend." His followers broke off into excited shouts at how cool he was advancing on her and so smoothly too.

"No, thanks~! I'm already with somebody!"

"W-what? Then have a match with me! If you can't hit my next throw then you'll have to be my girlfriend!"

"Eh? A match? Sure, why not? I won't lose anyways."

"**Please Lala-sama, you cannot draw any more attention to yourself! Remember Naruto-dono's warning!**"

Lala peeked up at her robotic hairclip and frowned lightly even though she was correct. "Oh, drat. I forgot about that. I don't want to just run away though…oh, I know! Naruto-kun, c'mere!" The blond was substituted in the girl's stead as she asked him to hit for her before whispering that he could hit it with less power than she could. Seeing as Lala sent the ball flying like Tsunade giving Jiraiya a love tap, he agreed. When asked if he needed any help while pulling out her special cell phone, he shook his head and mentioned there was no need. Now was not the time for one of her inventions to blow up the school.

"Oh, this is rich. Now I get to show up Blondie right in front of the hot foreigner and Haruna Sairenji? This'll surely destroy any popularity he has now once I embarrass him thoroughly!"

"Yeah, show him! Knock him out and win the prize, Motemitsu-senpai!"

"Right! There's no way an amateur like him could defeat me! I plan on becoming a professional in the future!"

"STOP YAKKING AND THROW THE DAMN BALL ALREADY YOU IDIOT!"

"AS YOU WISH!" Rearing back, Motemitsu sent the small object sailing over the field much at a much faster velocity than he did before with an added spin. Everyone watched silently as Naruto simply stood there without any fear or trepidation, the bat clasped firmly in his hands in the same way Lala had held it. He only had to hit it, right? No need to send it into the stratosphere like the prior hitter and give away he wasn't exactly normal himself. Besides, his ninja senses could track the ball easily. It wasn't like a well-aimed kunai was trying to split his skull. The ball was moving through molasses compared to some of the things he had seen before.

So he held the wooden item level with the ground where the baseball was traveling.

"H-he's bunting?" The other members of the team couldn't believe what they were watching. As soon as their beloved pitcher had released the ball, Naruto moved the bat. It all took place in the span of a few seconds before the air was filled with a loud crack of wood splintering. At the speed it was going, the baseball caused the bat to literally break in half noisily while recoiling the ball back at Motemitsu even though Naruto hadn't even swung. It collided with his stomach and sent him tumbling while the other dropped the now destroyed bat and walked back over to the others.

"There. I hit the ball so you don't have to date him, or whatever."

"I knew you could do it~! Let's go on to the next activity now!" Haruna nodded dumbly before casting one last glance at Motemitsu who was surrounded by his team. The boy obviously had the wind knocked out of him and was sputtering and wheezing, forcing air back into desperate lungs. With a throaty whisper he cursed the blond and claimed -again- that he would have his revenge.

Naruto cleaned out an ear with his pinky and walked away. The threat went unbidden and the hoarse gurgle of anger caused him to laugh. "You know, that actually was sort of fun to do." And by fun, he meant once again messing with the pompous pitcher of Sainin's baseball team. Neither of the females knew what he was speaking of and agreed anyways, unknowing of what they were actually agreeing with. No harm done though.

The trio was soon standing at the tennis courts where Haruna's own club would meet quite often. Today wasn't one of those days but it didn't stop the instructor from hanging around finishing up any excess work that might have been lying on his desk. As the man saw one of his members walking over with two others in tow, he himself moved over to greet them with his hands in his pockets. He was called Sasuga-sensei and seemed nice enough, but the dude was seriously giving Naruto an odd vibe. For one thing, he gaze never left Lala nearly the whole time they were there (which was sort of expected) and when it finally did, it skimmed over onto Naruto. Even as they were leaving to walk around more he could feel Sasuga's eyes on him until they were finally out of sight. It was almost like…ew, gross. Sorry but the ninja didn't swing that way.

Next came swimming followed by kendo before the tour wrapped up with track and field. The two non-regular humans thanked their other friend/classmate before beginning their journey back to Naruto's house. Lala was in quite the good mood, humming to herself as they moved down the side streets and back alleys of their town.

"So…how was your first day?" The pinkette twisted around, her hair fanning out behind her as she began moving her arms animatedly in turn. It had been so much fun for her to meet new people and Naruto's other friends, which were also now her friends, so they both had the same friends which meant they were even closer than before! Sooner or later he'd feel the exact same way she did whenever Lala would look at him, or move closer to his personal space. A thumping heart was such a strange feeling but it also felt…good.

All because of him.

She needed to do something nice for the shinobi after all he had done for her already. Taking her in, sheltering her, driving off her pursuers, actually persuading Zastin to let her be, and finally agreeing to marry her after she truly decided that she wished to be with him (though Naruto never actually consented to the last one but in her mind, he had). To some it would look like nothing more than a crush or some sort of hero worship syndrome. In her mind, however…it was exactly what the pretty princess was searching for.

And what was going through the blond's thoughts during Lala's moment of self-contemplation and emotional understanding after she had finished her speech and the two lapsed back into a comfortable silence?

'_I think I'll have chicken flavored ramen this time…and maybe some fish pastries again…_' "Oi! Lala! We're gonna make a pit stop real quick!"

"Eh? 'kay, Naruto!"

Totally different...ah, they'll be fine.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Zastin, why're you here? And…Ero-sennin? You're back early…I think."

"We both have news to tell you. Get in already and we'll get down to business." The toad sage stepped away from the front door, having opened it as soon as Naruto stuck his key in the lock. Behind him stood the ever serious Zastin with a frown marring his face. The two teens were ushered inside and all four were soon situated in the same way they had been prior in the living room a few nights ago. The Devilukan swordsman was the first to go, retrieving a small, demonic looking object from behind his back. It hovered over the table once he let it go and from its top a small purple diamond ejected and floated above its carrier. Lala immediately knew what it was, having personally seen them plenty of times back on her own planet.

"Hey, that's a message communicator that daddy uses!"

"Indeed. I have explained the situation to the Devilukan King and he wished for me to give you a direct message." As if on cue, the gem grew brighter as a deep, husky voice began emanating from its core. It was close in deep timber to when Naruto was under the influence of the Kyuubi's chakra, and both he and Jiraiya shared a quick glance having noticed the oddity. If voices were anything to go by, this guy was really powerful.

"**Hey…Naruto Uzumaki. I've received word from Zastin and I approve of you being one of the ones to court my daughter. I've heard that Earthlings are pretty lame but you seem to be a cut above the rest. Plus, Lala seems to like you. I look forward to witnessing myself what you can do. I'll be the one to eventually decide when the wedding takes place so until then you better do your best to protect my daughter.**"

"I already promised I would!"

"Brat…he can't hear you. It's a recording."

"…I knew that."

"**The whole universe is now aware of your existence.**" The voice continued on without pause, uninhibited by the blond's outburst. "**Soon, other potential fiancé candidates will appear and try to take Lala away from you. If you can stop them up until the time you both are successfully married then you shall become my successor. But if you fail, then I'll have no qualms with destroying you and the puny planet you live on.**" The voice abruptly cut off, giving those present undeniably dour food for thought.

"I would not disregard any advice our king has given you. Once, a man behaved impolitely in front of our leader and managed to infuriate him. Soon after the man and his planet were obliterated. If you cannot live up to the king's expectations then I expect the Earth to disappear without a trace." It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Naruto's neck turned with the fluidity of a rusty cog until his eyes were burning with an intensity that threatened to overtake Zastin in his spot.

"So it's for real now, huh? I'm actually getting married or the whole world dies?"

"You can't ever catch a break, eh kid?"

"Seems so...but it's better than everything else I've gone through. All I have to do is get married and things stay hunk-dory. At least I won't die from being captured like with the whole fighting the Akatsuki mess."

"Someone is trying to capture you? Why?"

"Eeeeehhh…long story as to 'why'. But there's a group out there trying to kidnap me and I can't be captured or else the world will also be pretty much destroyed." Lala seemed to take offense at that, grabbing him in a territorial fashion by the arm.

"No way! I won't let those mean people take you away! I'll stop them myself!" It brought a grim smile to Naruto's lips as he patted her on the head.

"It's also the reason why I was saying I couldn't get married before. If they caught wind that you and I were to be wed they may try and use you against me."

"Don't care."

Jiraiya laughed, slamming his fist on the chair's armrest before wiping at his eye with a finger. Oh damn, he was ever so glad he had taken this kid on as his apprentice and became involved in his life. The sannin reckoned that his own life wouldn't even be half as amusing if he had never returned and taught that blond midget three years ago how to summon and form the rasengan. Lala's vivaciousness even reminded him of a certain deceased redhead he had known for quite some time. "I guess that's that, huh? You better train your ass off from now on, Naruto. You've got a future family to think about then."

That was an almost surreal thought. Him, having a family? As an orphan who never knew that type of love, it was something he had always yearned for. And now he was finally given an outlet to obtain such a thing…but it was with a girl that looked like the one he cared for back home. Did that mean Lala was a substitute? Was he being a bad person if something were to come from it? And what would everyone he cared for in Konoha say?

"Besides, this won't be a boring marriage!" The girl moved her arms from their space at his side until they rested around his neck and pulled him into a forceful hug. "I'll make sure you fall for me just like I've fallen for you!" Tears were flowing freely down Zastin's cheeks as he was once again moved by the words and will of his princess. Jiraiya was naturally marking everything down in his notes for future reference. This story was going to be his best ever!

A warrior, dealt by fate with a horrible burden and a quest that would ultimately lead to his death, is pulled into a marriage contract with a beautiful foreign princess after he saves her life and cannot withdraw from the pact or else all he knew would be destroyed. While he does not feel the same way, the princess has fallen for his kind and caring nature and plans to seduce him so he falls in love with her as well and they have a happy wedding. He meanwhile has to train himself into exhaustion to make sure they both live to see that day. Throw in a bunch of sex and the story will be good to go.

Naruto himself once again wound up with a beet red face, again having been pulled flush against the firm female form. Plus it didn't help that he knew what she looked like stark naked, knowing _exactly_ what was pressing against his chest without any use of the imagination. Damn this girl was adamant in her decision but he couldn't just let it go so easily. "I still don't know if I can really do this…it wouldn't be fair to you."

"Why?"

"You look like my crush, remember? Without seeing Sakura-chan again, how would I know if my feelings for you are genuine or if it's because you two look similar?"

"Brat, your little hime there looks nothing like Pinky back home."

"If you compare them like that, then yeah." he snapped. "We haven't been in Konoha for nearly three years so if you try to compare Lala and a younger Sakura then yes, all they have that's similar is pink hair and green eyes."

"Plus Lala is nice to you."

"Sakura-chan's nice to me!"

"Lala doesn't hit you." That shut him up.

"So…I should change my appearance then?" Naruto blinked at seeing the girl's slight frown and shook his head vehemently. There was no need for such a drastic course of action.

"No! It wouldn't be right if you made yourself look different instead of staying completely natural…it's fine, Lala-chan. I like you staying the way you are." The alien, who had originally pulled back from their embrace moments prior from their hold, near instantaneously snatched him up again after hearing his minor confession. Gosh this girl was affectionate. The pinkette vowed to continue showing him such things to worm her way into his emotions.

Plus he was just so considerate of her own feelings! That was twice in the span of a few days now whereas all of her other husband candidates were only in it for the political gain. Truly, there was no way she was letting him go.

"La…la…can't…br-breathe…let go!" Oops. She had accidently added too much pressure in her squeeze as her mind wandered off again. Naruto was blue in the face and his shoulders were being smushed inward at a cringe-inducing strength. A lesser man would have been crushed to death already. Just another showing of how worthy he was.

But for now, she'd actually have to let him go…this time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In the end, the four each decided on their own personal course. Lala, naturally, chose to get Naruto to truly love her. Zastin was to make sure no true danger befell his planet's heiress and to assist her in her times of need. Jiraiya was going to produce the best damn copy of Icha Icha the world would ever see. Lastly, the blond jinchuriki was going to continue growing strong, beat Akatsuki, become the Hokage, and get married to an alien so Earth wasn't destroyed because that would really suck. Simple.

After Zastin left and the three ate dinner, Jiraiya decided to drop another bomb on the ninja although this one didn't make him wish to break something. When the sage had buggered off to the realm of the toads, it was for a meeting of council. The addition of Lala caused the man's long-term plans to be altered drastically and the need for Naruto to become much stronger was brought up. He now had a fiancé to come back to, and if there was one thing that caused people to return from the cusp of battle with a heartbeat, it was for the sake of loved ones. She was working her way towards that position but the essence was the same.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

The smokescreen filled the area and billowed over the dining room table, simultaneous sounds of creatures being summoned reaching everyone's ears. Immediately the screech of two voices arguing grew in strength as the smoke dissipated, revealing two small toads standing upright as the verbal jabs continued back and forth between them. One was male, mottled green with a white goatee, bushy eyebrows, and a small patch of white hair atop his head. A grey cloak adorned his small body but had been pulled aside so the amphibian could point angrily at the other summon. That one was female with a mass of bumpy purple hair and light green skin on the underside of her body and purple above, with purple markings also around her lips and the same type of body covering.

"Dammit, Ma! I told ye that ah already went out an' caught us a whole mess o' bugs fer dinner!"

"And ah'm tellin' ya Pa that there was none in the pantry!"

"Then ah guess ya shoulda cooked 'em quicker so they didn't escape!"

Jiraiya had a large grin on his face as he continued watching the two elderly toads bicker, sighing happily as though it was the good old days. Naruto had never seen these two before and was watching curiously while his female partner was anticipating what came next with awe. He had the feeling Lala would be exhibiting such an emotion for as long as she stayed with them. Then again…he still was unsure as to what these two could do themselves and was silently flexing his hand in eagerness.

"Now how is it every time I see you two, you're at each other's throats? I can't exactly give my own input on the matter but I thought old married couples were supposed to be happy together?"

"We are happy, ya damn fool!"

"Aye! We love each other more 'en we can express!"

'_Then why were you bitching at each other? Is that how you express it?_'

The female toad, dubbed Ma, hopped over in one leap and smacked Jiraiya in the head with enough force to slam his forehead in the table. The impact bounced him back into a sitting position where the now dazed man slowly rubbed his bruising skin as the irate summon tapped her foot impatiently. "And what's the big deal? Ya show up and only visit muh husband but not me? And then ya summon us both without any notice? I outta take ya over muh knee fer not visiting!"

"It…it was business…"

"Excuses!"

As the two continued on, Naruto was staring down the old male toad. He had grown silent and his bar-shaped pupils were locked on his own blue irises, Lala looking back and forth as the two maintained eye contact. Pa suddenly grinned and moved towards his wife, putting a hand on her shoulder before she continued to beat down the sannin. "Enough. I found us the reason fer being called."

"And that's…?" Her query was answered when Pa moved his head to the side, allowing his wife to get a full glance on the blond boy. "Minato-chan?"

"No…that's not him. That's my apprentice, Naruto Uzumaki. The one I told you about." A flash of recognition passed through both amphibians faces at the mention of his name before disappearing as fast as it appeared. In a surprising burst of speed they were in front of the boy, moving his head every which way as they examined him.

"So this is him, eh?...It's finally nice ta meetcha, Naruto-chan. We've heard a bunch about you from the idiot over there. Already learned the rasengan, didja? In less time than either the Fourth Hokage or Jiraiya. Impressive, muh boy. Such a young summoner too. Ah'm one of the toad elders, Fukasaku, and this is muh wife Shima." Fukasaku pulled back and nodded his head as Shima continued checking him over.

"He's such a cutie! Ya haven't been corrupted yet by Jiraiya-chan, have ya?" She blinked before looking over, finally noticing Lala who smiled and gave her a wave. "And who're you?"

"Hi!~ I'm Lala!"

"…'kay. But why're ya _here_?"

"I'm Naruto-kun's fiancé. Where else would I go?" Shima was once again beating on Jiraiya, wailing on how he had gone and formed another pervert, taking such a sweet boy (though she didn't know him well enough yet) and already making him marry at a young age. She even added in how the reason was because he probably got her pregnant, and it was all because the elder had to go and expose him to such a bad lifestyle. Luckily, the two were busy conversing still with Pa and failed to hear her accusations.

"Marriage? So soon? Ah know you ninjas tend to live yer lives rather loosely since death stays side by side with yer jobs but many don' get married so early unless ya are in some sorta political maneuver."

"Nope…if you know Gamakichi and Gamatatsu, they can explain it to you. I already told them about it. I would but you two have been summoned here for a reason and I'd like to know why."

"True, true…alright, ah can do that. We'll be seein' each other plenty in the future so we can speak more freely anyways. But fer now, let's get down to business. MA!"

"WHAT?"

"QUIT BEATIN' ON THE MAN AND SIMMER DOWN! I HAVE TO TELL THE REASON WE WERE CALLED!"

"ALRIGHT THEN!"

The two toads met in the middle of the table as Fukasaku cleared his throat. With no other distractions he started up, letting his cloak flow over his shoulders and shield his smaller body from view. "Alrighty. 'tis a simple thing. When Jiraiya-chan came to our home and spoke with me, he told me of how ya got some crazy group that's after the Kyuubi in yer gut-"

"Ahtatatata!" He paused when both Konoha shinobi made 'zip it' motions with their hands, even as Lala cocked her head to the side in confusion. What the hell was the 'Kyuubi' and why was it in Naruto's stomach?

"Yer marryin' her and haven't even told the poor dearie about it? The hell is wrong with ya?"

"It's not something I like to think about." he shot back, getting an eventual nod from the powerful summon.

"Ah suppose yer right, but it ain't fair to the pretty girl who's aimin' ta be yer wife…originally, we had planned fer ya to come to our realm to train in the toad way after you had already returned to yer village and got extra trainin' from there. But Jiraiya-chan told me of some new circumstances-" He looked over at Lala. "-and how you needed extra control and power sooner than we thought. In the end, it's been decided that ya will be brought there the next time ya have a large amount of free time to begin yer training in senjutsu. It's a very powerful technique that can turn the tide o' battle in an instant 'nd can only be learned by those we deem worthy…and who're a summoner of our kind. You have been found ta be someone who uses his power to defend and help others, a trait we o' the toads value highly. Ya also seem ta have the unique ability ta maker yer enemies into yer friends. We ask you, will you come with us and learn senjutsu?"

Senjutsu? Sage arts? That sounded pretty heavy…something really powerful. _Something he could use to bring back Sasuke and fulfill his promise._ It was true though, wasn't it? He had a new priority to protect. Who knows how strong these fellow candidates for Lala were going to be? If he was beaten and she was taken, bye-bye planet. That would mean no more him, no more promise, and no more of his precious people. Naruto looked over at the girl who seemed to flourish cheerfully under his gaze and his decision was swiftly made as he stood up abruptly, nearly knocking over his chair from its spot near the table.

"You're damn right I will. A new technique? How in the hell could I pass that up? I'm Naruto Uzumaki, next Hokage of Konohagakure! I don't back down and I never give up!"

"That's the spirit, muh boy! We'll be going now, but if ya ever want ta speak again just pump enough chakra into the technique to summon Bunta boy and then add even more. We'll be takin' our leave now…have to let the Great Elder know of this new addition. Take care o' yerselves Naruto-chan, Lala-chan."

"Hey, what about me?"

"Eh, you'll be fine."

Jiraiya grumbled under his breath at the two before they vanished in twin palls of smoke. A few moments were taken as the duo brought Lala up to speed on the concept of summon creatures, which she likened to her D-Dial cell phone. It was in the next two minutes that Naruto rose from his spot and asked Lala up to his room after having an intense mental debate. Upon noticing his sad frown, the pretty girl asked what was wrong. With a heavy heart and eventual swallow of the liquid that had pooled in his mouth, the jinchuriki simply said they had to talk. Jiraiya watched them go in silence before he too rose and began to clear away the empty plates left behind on the table. Naruto had been looking for a way out of the marriage and this could be the one he was looking for. But why hadn't he brought it up sooner? Well…It was the reason his life had been shit. The reason he was an orphan. It was the reason why he was treated like the plague back in Konoha. And it only reared its ugly head because the chatty summon hadn't known any better.

The Kyuubi…all he hoped for was that if Lala was the one to call off the engagement, her dad would allow the earth to continue existing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Omake: Rito's Love Trials**

Was this it? Oh, the mere idea was too much for his mind to handle at such a time. Haruna Sairenji...she was right there. _Right there!_ And it was only the two of them as the rest of the class had already filed out for the day! No one around to hear him if he, that is to say, decided that now would be the perfect time for a love confession that had been waiting in the wings for ages. All Rito Yuuki had to do was clear his throat, gain the beautiful girl's attention, and tell her.

Easy.

Actually...it was the hardest thing he had ever tried in his life.

Neither of them had spoken since the start of their chores, each having a small blush on their cheeks as hands erased the chalkboard and straightened up the room. The tension floating in the air was palpable and both of them couldn't find a way to dispel it. Inhaling slowly but strongly, the male put on a shaky smile and turned to the lone female as he finally tried to break the tension that was slowly killing him inside. Oh god, he hoped he said something witty and intelligent.

"Ah...um..."

Smooth, Rito.

"I'll take care of the rest..." Haruna continued erasing without turning to look as she cut in. "You can go ahead and take a break, Yuuki-kun." He grimaced even though she was being nice, feeling as though she thought he couldn't continue for whatever reason. As the man shouldn't he be the one allowing her an interlude of rest while he continued with the burden of chores? "Or you don't have to if you don't want to...it's fine..."

"N-no, you should be the one to take a break instead. I mean, you're always working so hard with the tennis club and, uh, being the representative...and all that."

She regarded him silently for a moment as he fidgeted slightly under her eyes before she turned back towards the blackboard with a small grin. Her eyes traced the contours of her hand as her cheeks warmed again at his kindness, something he missed due to the fact his own eyes were darting around the vacant classroom. "Thank you." she all but whispered. "Perhaps if we just forge on ahead instead, we can finish quickly. Your sister's probably home alone right now, isn't she?"

"Mikan? Possibly. Or she went out to buy food for dinner tonight."

"Then she won't mind if...I decide to keep your company for the time being?" Rito blinked before blinking again to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Haruna was there alright but she still wasn't looking directly at him. And...her face was darker than he could recall? What did...did she just say she wanted to spend time with him? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...speak, you idiot! Speak!

"A-ah, no she wouldn't mind! She'd never mind! Mikan's a big girl now! She wouldn't care who I'm hanging out with or speaking to, but then again she can be sorta nosy, and when Naruto's around they like to tag-team me with petty things just to annoy me and I...uh, oh great, I'm rambling aren't I?" Then he heard it. A light sound emanating from with her breast, small and lyrical to his ears that actually caused Rito to swallow nervously again.

"Hm-heh."

She giggled.

"They can be silly, can't they?"

"Uh, y-yeah."

From there the two began speaking more amicably, the heavy pressure from working together slowly lifting from their souls as the minutes ticked by. The duo began reminiscing when Rito moved to care for the class plants and in her haste Haruna nearly revealed she too had feelings for the boy. Upon realizing her error she made to take the trash out as a means of escape but tripped at the doorway. She expected to feel the harsh sting of linoleum against her skin as her gravity shifted but the pain never came. In its stead was a pair of arms around her waist that kept her from kissing the ground. Rito had grabbed her before her spill, saving her from a trip to the nurse's office and boy...were they close. So close that if one of them were to merely move their faces a few inches closer...

They chickened out.

Things grew awkward for but a moment after the incident but a thank you from Sairenji instantly brightened Rito's mood. Once again they moved to finish cleaning and any embarrassment the teenagers were feeling had finally disappeared. Internally Rito was rejoicing on how his luck had finally turned around with the girl he pined for. Maybe he'd finally have the courage to confess this day?

**Without** any interruptions, of course.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Here ya go, ya hungry bastards. The next chapter, and I hope it is filling enough for you. Newer plot twists, characters added, sage mode (which I love) being brought in sooner…yay._

_So much with Naruto wavering back and forth about the marriage. His love for Sakura, or giving it up to marry the 'look-alike' that could destroy the planet with her connections. He's trying to handle it but it all seemed to happen so quickly. He wants to keep his promise to Lala but marriage? The poor boy's never even had a date before. Will it get better? Even I don't know yet and I'm writing the damn thing._

_But probably yes, yes it will._

_Also, I got a job recently (finally) and along with school, it'll probably be longer to update things. Just a heads up. I still write in my notebooks but finding the time to type it all is the kicker. Grr…_

_Later._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 4:

The village of Konohagakure no Sato was enjoying yet another day of peace and solitude. For years there had been a lack of explosions, chases, and all-around noise that had been commonplace for as long as some could remember. A small bluebird went about its business on one of the electricity poles, preening its feathery wing in the slight breeze. As its self-cleaning came to an end the animal took to the sky and sailed a short distance before alighting upon the windowsill of a large building with a rounded roof. Its neck moved every which way to take in all the sights and sounds from its vantage point. No predators...so far, so good.

A faint tap made it hop before settling down once no danger made itself present. Once more its head twisted upwards before the glass behind it shattered like cheap porcelain and exploded outwards like a point-blank bomb blast. A large missile connected with the avian and at the speed and power it was going, the kinetic force actually caused the bird to explode into nothing more than a repressed squawk and bloody mist. The 'missile' turned out to actually be a couch, thrown from inside the building before arcing off far into the distance and slamming into the middle of the clan district's wide roadway. Luckily no one was hurt as those in the area took immediate cover when the window of the Hokage's office burst in a shower of glassy shards and someone raised the alert to hide.

With their leader's volatile temper there had been emergency actions set in place to lower both collateral and bodily damage in case of emergency.

Inside of the tower stood one busty blonde in pigtails who wore a long green coat, blue pants, black shinobi heels, and a grey sleeveless top. She dusted off her hands with a self-satisfied smirk on her beautiful face and an air of self-satisfaction. Tsunade Senju, the Fifth (and very first female) Hokage, Slug Summoner, World's Greatest Medic, Legendary Sucker, etc. had just finished reading the report sent to her by her former teammate Jiraiya and the ensuing chaos was to all be blamed upon him. Oh, things had originally started on a more chipper note that day before the inevitable eruption. But it all went downhill once the _messenger_ appeared.

Kosuke, a young amphibian with red skin, blue markings on his head, and a pair of goggles looped around his neck had originally puffed into existence on top of the Hokage's antique wooden desk with a scroll clutched in his webbed hands. Upon knowing it was from the toad sennin, the woman had called in her assistant, apprentice, and confidant Shizune. The black-haired, black-heeled, black kimono-with-fishnet-wearing young woman was ecstatic when she learned that their wayward 'family' had finally sent them word after a long period of absolutely nothing. The female Godaime felt the exact same way and had unraveled the scroll as though it was a revered treasure map after sending her personal ANBU members away for a bit of privacy.

Then they read it.

Big mistake.

As the duo skimmed across the male's report the atmosphere in the room continuously dropped until it became something downright frigid. Shizune could literally feel her master's dangerous mood and edged away upon finishing the note, silently vowing that both Naruto and Jiraiya had obviously discussed the consequences of their actions at length because whenever they returned Tsunade was going to kill them. Completely left the Elemental Nations? No one did that. **Ever**. It didn't matter they were out of the Akatsuki's reach. It was foolhardy and dangerous. Then again…those two words brought the toad summoning duo to mind so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she originally thought.

With a twitch of her fingers, Tsunade tore the scroll in half after rolling it back up and looping it together by its attached rope binding. The woman was already channeling her chakra finesse to initiate her super strength technique but sadly there was no one around she could mercilessly beat down to rid mind and body of the mounting aggression and stress. Shizune would never be the one to bear the blonde's wrath and that left the medic low on options.

That is, until her eyes settled upon the couch tucked away near the doorway. With a demented grin she stalked forward, pointing at it while quietly marking the sitting device as her unfortunate victim. The couch soon found itself weightless as it was lifted into the air by its armrest, Tsunade holding it effortlessly with one manicured hand. Pulling back, she held her other arm forward as a way of targeting and took a few quick steps forward to add some weight behind her throw. With a tremendous yell the sofa was shot-put out the clear barrier at an incredible speed.

If only Shizune hadn't cowered…perhaps she could have spared the window such a fate by opening it first.

Panting with self-righteous resolve Tsunade placed her hands on her hips and stood a bit taller. "Shizune! Contact the window repairman! It's about time he got some business from us again. Also…make a memo for me…we'll need to see how tall Naruto's gotten when he finally returns so we can make a proper casket."

"T-Tsunade-sama!"

"What? You think I'm just gonna let this go now that I've already sent my couch to the other side of the village? I specifically told them to get their asses back here once their time was up and instead they're out living it up beyond our reach. Jiraiya _told me_ the deadline and that they would be back here in the upcoming months. Akatsuki's close to mobilizing and they're going to be stalking the remaining jinchuriki. That means instead of being in our borders when those bastards begin the hunt, those idiots'll have to pass through all the surrounding nations just to get back here. Even with the old pervert as a bodyguard there's still the chance he could be captured. Oh, I am so going to find the rustiest, dullest kunai I can find and cut his shriveled old balls off!"

Shizune was horrified.

From outside, a small pattering could be heard coming from the hallway before three loud knocks echoed throughout the room. Clearing her throat the woman sat back at her desk and fixed her hair for any strands that may have found freedom before allowing the guest access. Being granted entry, in walked a young woman with short pink hair down to her chin and held back by a red hitai-ate, bright green eyes, and an anxious smile on her face. The girl had on a sleeveless red top above her small chest, knee-high black shinobi sandals/boots with elevated heels, black skintight shorts with her weapons pouch attached to her right thigh, a short pink apron-skirt, and pink elbow protectors.

Her eyes quirked at the now missing couch and gaping hole in the wall but shook her head nonetheless, scanning the room for something before frowning and turning back towards her leader when she couldn't find what she had been searching for. "Seeing you destroy part of your office I figured Naruto was back from his trip with Jiraiya-sama and did something stupid…but I guess I was wrong?" Wrong wasn't the half of it, and Tsunade actually released an unladylike grunt before motioning with her hand.

"Just venting a bit after reading the latest report from my dear soon-to-be deceased teammate. Besides, those two wouldn't have been back for a few more months Sakura." Tsunade's second student after Shizune, the newly named Sakura Haruno scratched at her cheek and shrugged, giving a greeting towards Shizune as she walked further into the room. Yes, this was the 'Sakura-chan' Naruto would speak of fondly. His fellow squad member on Team Seven, friend, and the girl Lala was technically competing with for the blond's emotions.

"What made you so angry as to relocate your couch into the clan district?"

"Just that those two fools are so far away it's anyone's guess as to when they'll return. All for the sake of Naruto's schooling…while I have no qualms about that, they could have at least done that closer to home."

"Naruto's…schooling? As in him going to _school_, sitting in the classroom, and being expected to learn?" A nod from her teacher made the girl actually laugh until she noticed the serious expression on both of the other female's faces, prompting her to stop. Wiping at her eye Sakura leaned forward in curiosity. "You're actually serious? Jiraiya-sama actually got that knucklehead to stay still long enough to go to class? Wow…he should have been here when we were younger. Naruto might have actually learned more at the academy and saved Iruka-sensei a lot of grief if that was the case."

"All I know is they're both getting the beating of a lifetime when they get their asses back here…whenever that is."

"Isn't there at least an estimate as to when?"

"He put 'later-ish'." Sakura pursed her lips at the extremely vague answer. She missed her teammate and his outrageous way of living. Things had actually been boring around there for the past few years and it was due to a lack of exuberant blond in blinding orange. Oh sure, Konohamaru Sarutobi had tried to emulate his 'boss' and pull off a bunch of pranks with his friends-turned-genin teammates Udon and Moegi but they lacked the pizzazz and oomph that were associated with Naruto's former tricky deals.

"I hope it's not too far in the future. Poor Hinata's been down in the dumps the whole time he's been absent and while it hasn't affected her missions or training, it's been messing highly with her personal life." The Hokage looked at her apprentice with a stale glare before shrugging and leaning back in her seat. It was true about the Hyuuga princess but as long as it didn't influence the happenings of the village then it wasn't exactly Tsunade's problem. At least not until someone finally complained about it.

A new miniature explosion on top of the desk caused all three trained kunoichi to tense up for any sign of an attack. As the smoke cleared away in the nonexistent breeze it dissipated to once again reveal Kosuke with yet another scroll grasped within his webbed fingers. Before the small toad could even speak a hand wound itself around his throat and lifted the unlucky amphibian off of the wood, dangling him painfully in the air. Allowing the toad just enough oxygen to stay conscious, Tsunade moved her head forward to glare icily into the little animal's bar-like pupils with unveiled ire.

"Back again, are we?"

"C-c'mon…lady!...why…ar-*cough*-are you t-t-trying to k-kill me?"

"You better have some good news in that parchment, **frog**. And why are you back so soon? I didn't expect that pervert to send another message in the same day." The toad was too scared to even become incensed at the crack at his species, still trying to draw enough breath into his size-appropriate lungs. Clawing at the digits digging into his moist skin, the toad finally was able to free himself and drop onto the table, gasping for air.

"Look…I'm just the messenger…I don't -*cough*- know what's inside. As for why there's another…I've actually had the first message for awhile now. Jiraiya just told me to deliver it a few days after it came into my custody. Something about it…not being too important. He looked on edge when he gave it to me though."

'_Probably because he knew how pissed I'd get._'

"As for this one, I just got it. This time he looked like he was trying not to laugh or something. I don't know why…but there was another person there besides Jiraiya and Naruto. Some girl with pink hair and she seemed like she was hanging all over the younger boy." Immediately those present looked at Sakura, who returned their stares with confusion.

"What? Obviously it's not me and I wouldn't do that regardless."

"Give me the scroll. Now." Kosuke wasted no time handing over the item before disappearing back to his own home dimension. Whatever Jiraiya was playing at, it didn't warrant the red toad being injured in the process. Next time someone else was taking the damn messages instead.

The Senju tore open the paper's seal without ceremony and unfurled it, making sure every word was present at once. A photograph nestled within slipped from its place and glided airily towards the floor. As Tsunade committed the message to memory, Sakura picked up the wayward picture and gasped at the pink and green so similar to her own. "W-what the hell is this? She looks just like me with longer hair!" She failed to voice that it also was a curvier and possibly prettier version of her but hey, they didn't need to hear that.

"That's not the half of it..." Tsunade groaned and threw her hands in the air before burying her face in her arms. "That's it…neither of them are allowed to leave the village ever again! Especially Naruto! I'm locking him up and throwing away the key!"

"Tsunade-sama…?"

What could have been in the second message that made her so irritated?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you're saying there's this big fox monster inside of you?"

"Yup."

"And under certain conditions it can take over, making you act more like a miniature fox monster?"

"The more power I use, the more I lose myself."

"…so you get stronger, really? I don't see the problem."

Naruto blinked. Then he blinked again. _Then _the blond put a finger in each ear and scrubbed vigorously, making sure the canals were squeaky clean. Finding nothing clogging his hearing, the boy had obviously heard her correctly and therefore Lala had indeed said what he thought she said.

"Okay, one more time…because I'm not following."

The pinkette giggled at his purely dumbfounded expression and shook her head. "Papa can destroy whole planets easily but I'm not afraid of him."

"…he's your dad so why would you be afraid?"

"What I mean is that even though he has so much power, he can still control it all without hurting those close to him."

"…oh."

"And you're not trying to kill me, and haven't ever since you met me so I don't believe you're anything like this demon you told me about. Also you haven't acted like a mindless beast either."

"Nothing's pissed me off yet to make me lose control. Just annoyed me a bit."

Lala stood from her sitting spot on top of Naruto's bed and moved in front of him, smiling at the ninja in question. And people called her naive. Well it was true but with her personality it made her seem like an innocent child that simply grew too quickly. The alien was actually a genius and could be very intellectual when she wanted to be, usually only showing such ingenuity with her inventions or work. It didn't mean that she didn't know how to make a point though.

"You're in control right now, aren't you?" she added, poking him in the chest. "You're controlling this separate, crazy power inside of you and because of that I see no problem with my future husband. In fact, daddy might like you more because of it. I see you as just Naruto."

"So you really have no problem with me having a demon stuck inside of me?" Lala shook her head 'no' as Naruto gently grabbed the hand still poking him. A feminine head cocked to the side as the boy simply stared at her appendage before sighing and letting it drop. She was unsure what just went through his head but hoped it was at least something positive.

"Why couldn't the villagers back home be as understanding as you?" The sentence was low, melancholic. Lala didn't like the frown on his face. Shouldn't this have been some sort of happy moment?

"What do you mean?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and moved over to his dresser drawer, withdrawing a long piece of cloth tucked away in his fingers. Springs groaned in protest as the blond dropped onto his mattress and motioned her over. Lala complied, eyes never leaving the fabric he was holding until he lifted the object and tied it around his head. It was long and black, and directly in the center of his forehead was a worn metal plate with a figure etched into the steel.

"This right here? It signifies that I'm a true shinobi of Konoha. That I passed the academy and in the eyes of our village, I'm classified as an adult and a warrior. A protector of my home…but even then, no one saw it as that for me." The jinchuriki almost sighed at feeling the familiar weight on his face. Boy, he missed it. "For as long as I can remember I've always been alone. I never knew my mom and dad. People hated me but I never knew why. Parents would tell their kids to stay away from me and adults would yell at me or get me in trouble, blaming me for things I never did or outright ignoring me. I took to pulling pranks and wearing bright colors just to get noticed. But the only ones who ever really did on a personal level was our leader, one of my teachers, and the family that ran the ramen stand."

Lala was paying rapt attention, eager to learn about her fiancé's past. The most she knew was he was a ninja and an orphan. That's it. And the lecture before was of him simply telling her about the powerful force that was sealed within him. But as she continued to listen the Devilukan found herself sporting a frown that was growing deeper and deeper as more time passed on by. No wonder he was so adamant about her returning to her family when they first met. He was an orphan while she still had her father, two younger sisters, and technically the whole of Planet Deviluke.

At least she could change that when they were married.

Risa apparently liked him…maybe. The girl acted dodgy the other day and Lala couldn't get a read on what was the truth. Maybe they could gang up on him or something sometime? The more the merrier? Clearly the pinkette didn't actually understand how marriage truly worked, being surrounded by all the monarchy and upper class that were usually involved with more than one person at a time. All but her father, but the king wasn't exactly in a pleasant enough state to entertain concubines or mistresses currently. All he ever had was Lala's deceased mother.

Such twisted logic, but in her mind it was perfectly A-OK.

"But I kept going forward, doing my best to be noticed and become strong. My dream is to become the Hokage which is the leader of my village. If I was able to earn that position then everyone would have to know who I am no matter what. So I worked hard but I was the last in my class for grades. I just couldn't seem to get myself to care about history when that's not going to help me dodge an opponent's attack in battle. The other kids would make fun of me because I wasn't smart and failed pretty much everything. It didn't help that I was usually paired up against the kids with the highest grades or my tests were rigged by a teacher." He thought of Mizuki, which caused him to click his tongue and forge on ahead to the night that changed his life.

"Then came graduation. I had already failed twice and if I messed up again I couldn't become a ninja because of the law. I did everything I could to pass but near the end of the exam I was asked to show off my worst technique…clones."

"But-"

"_Regular _clones. Not the solid ones you've seen me use. These ones aren't solid and take a very small amount of chakra. Since my chakra levels are off the charts, even if I had perfect control I still would overload the technique and fail. So naturally…I did. More things happened and I found myself in the middle of the forest with the village's forbidden scroll, a large amount of special ninja moves that only those who were high level could hope to learn. If I could figure one of them out I could become a ninja! It was, of course, a lie and the man who told me that was only trying to get me in trouble while either killing me in the process or just stealing the scroll and running away. Long story short I learned the kage bunshin, beat up a traitor, earned my spot in the shinobi ranks, and finally learned why I was hated and alone for the first thirteen years of my life. Now that was a shock…"

He grunted when a weight suddenly impacted with his chest as Lala attached herself to him in yet another hug. "You're not going to be alone anymore, ever! Not if I have anything to say about it, which I do!"

"Uh…thanks, Lala-chan. Really. I'm…really glad to have met you, ya know? But don't worry, things got better. Even with the villagers acting like I was a plague on their home there were now new people I could really rely on. The only problem I see is when the day comes where they learn about the Kyuubi…I wonder if they'll still care about me after that."

Lala hummed, never releasing her hold on him as the boy dropped off into his own thoughts. Did it really matter though? Naruto would be going with her back to Deviluke since he'd become the new King of the Galaxy after her father abdicated and named him the heir. He'd have a whole planet of people who cared for him then!

"Don't worry about them right now. You're too antsy and I don't like that. Luckily I know the perfect way to cheer you up!" She jumped over to the doorway with a ruffle of her skirt and ran outside, leaving a confused yet curious shinobi in her wake. Naruto could hear scuffling coming from the hallway as the pretty little princess did…whatever she was doing out there. She skipped back into the room with towel in hand, grinning widely before saying the one thing the blond wasn't expecting her to just spout off willy-nilly. "Let's take a bath together!"

If he had been drinking something, the spit-take would have been epic.

"WHAT?" The blood rocketed towards his face as Lala stood there oblivious to his discomfort. Did she not realize how embarrassing that was? Or how it had been the first time they ever met? "Why are you asking me that?" The inventor blinked quickly before tapping her cheek as though it was no big deal. Seriously, she didn't see the problem.

"Well, I always feel better after a bath and you're feeling sad. I want to make you feel better so let's go!" The unnerved boy was swiftly grabbed and pushed out his room and towards the bathroom before his mind finally rebooted and he slammed on the breaks. Since Lala wasn't using any of her monstrous alien strength at the time, the stop caused her to run smack dab into his back and rub at her face with a small pout. Why did he stop? He made her hurt her nose!

"I-I-I can't do that! You're a girl and I'm a boy!"

"So? I don't feel comfortable bathing alone. I always had a lot of maids with me whenever I bathed back home." That seemed to explain why she was so comfortable in the nude though…

"**Lala-sama is only trying to help you, Naruto-dono.**"

…fuck. She was looking at him with those damn beautiful eyes he was used to seeing on another equally pink-haired woman. Mentally whining like crazy, the boy quickly made a clone and had him go downstairs to update Jiraiya and keep him occupied for the time being. No way in hell was that pervert going to find out what Naruto was about to do. Lala was a rather innocent girl and he figured nothing explicit was going to happen but that didn't mean his godfather would make the situation grow totally out of hand.

"Fine. I'll do it. Just…make sure you don't flash me or something."

"Yay!" The alien once again began pushing the now slightly distraught boy towards the bathroom. As soon as they were in Peke disengaged from her creator and flew off back towards the pinkette's room. Though the robot was water resistant, that still didn't mean she enjoyed getting her circuits wet if possible. It wasn't too long before the little creation heard the shouts of their blond landlord yelling something unintelligible about Lala as said girl's joyful laughter filled the air. By the sounds of it she had tried to wash his back and Naruto freaked out. Earthlings were so frivolous. But…Lala's plan had worked.

Naruto was no longer down in the dumps, his mind now more focused on the mortifying present.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"On your mark…"

Muscles tensed as they readied to spring into action.

"Get set…"

A pink tongue poked out from between barely clenched teeth to wet the lips. The air was filled with the sharp crack of a racing gun as it fired, announcing to Lala she could finally begin running. Barely half a second after the firearm shot into the air she took off at a speed no _normal_ person could achieve. The teacher's assistant stared in shock at her stopwatch while the rest of the females in their gym class had their eyes glued on Lala. The alien now wore red short-shorts and a white t-shirt with red trim to mirror the gym uniforms the other females wore, rocketing down the strip before sliding to a halt at the finish line with nary a lack of breath. Just another dress option now stored inside Peke's memory banks.

"**Lala-sama, I believe you should hold back more with your power.**" The alien princess pouted slightly and began walking back towards the others to collect he time. Off in the distance the teacher Sasuga was acting as if he was merely watching the whole proceedings but upon closer inspection his eyes were solely focused upon the pink-haired wonder girl. With a small smirk the man turned and continued coaching the males currently busy with their own gym activities.

As the girl moved back towards her friends, Risa tried to get Haruna's attention but the teenager had zoned out while watching the boys play soccer at the other side of the field. Rito was currently dribbling the ball down the length of the green while Saruyama was off on the sidelines waiting for his turn. Somehow Naruto had been saddled with the goalie position and was bored out of his mind waiting for **something** to happen. Unknown to the raven-haired girl, Risa and Mio had snuck up behind her as she remained unaware and before she knew it they lunged.

Haruna let out a cute squeak as feminine hands enclosed around her still growing bosom and began tweaking and rubbing. "Haruna baby, you in there? Your boobs are small and cute as usual!" Sairenji was able to pull away with a blush blossoming on her face and arms crossed over her chest while her two friends looked on with matching smirks. Why couldn't they ever keep their hands to themselves? Not even being in public kept people safe from their grabby fingers.

"She's been so quiet…maybe she's in love?"

"I bet it's Sasuga-sensei! He is pretty hot, you know!" Haruna tried to deny such a thing but the two girls were already on a roll. They didn't stop even as Lala moved over and joined them, eyes watching curiously as the duo dropped off into a dreamland that no other person should ever enter. A shout grabbed Lala's attention and she turned to see the male half of her new friends playing something completely different and her quick intake of breath showed she clearly liked what she saw.

"Oh wow, what game is that?"

Haruna, thankful for the distraction, decided to indulge the girl. "It's called soccer. Players on each team can use any part of their body except their arms to move the ball and try to get it inside the opposing team's net. But…you've never seen the sport before?"

"Nope!"

"She's foreign, remember? Probably plays some sport that we'd think is weird. Besides, Lala-chii probably had no time to play such things before."

"Still…"

"What's Naruto-kun doing?"

"Oh? He's the goalie." Risa stood next to Lala with a frown, arms crossed under her bust as she watched the blond stick out his arm and block a shot. "They can use any body part to stop the ball and keep people from scoring. I'm disappointed he's the goalkeeper though…I mean, he's barely moving. How can I see him get all hot and sweaty if he just stands there the whole time?" Mio nodded along with the brunette's observation as the third Earthling looked dryly at the two and shook her head. The alien continued to watch as her fiancé stopped a few more wayward shots when the bell finally rang, signifying the class was over for the day. Sasuga called it and sent everyone on their way but the man was quickly surrounded by girls asking to eat lunch with him. The teacher politely declined them all and when they mass of estrogen finally dispersed he raised his voice just loud enough to catch three specific girls' attention.

"Oh Sairenji, Momioka, Sawada…may I speak to you for a moment?" Mio and Risa's eyes lit up at the idea of conversing with the attractive teacher but Haruna could only wonder what he wanted. It was lunch time and she still had to change and go back up to the classroom to get her food. As they moved off towards the tennis club room she couldn't help but feel as though something was off with the whole situation.

Oh how right she was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Huh…Haruna, Mio, and Risa are missing. That's odd."

"They didn't come back to the classroom?"

"Not that I know of."

"Actually I saw them walking towards the clubroom with Sasuga-sensei."

"All three of them? No way! Do you think he was going to ask one of them out?"

"Then why would he need all three? If one turned him down was he going to go straight to another? That's so rude!"

From his seat at his desk Rito was listening in on the conversations going on around the room while he slowly ate his lunch. As soon as he heard the name 'Haruna' his ears focused in on that certain group and honestly he didn't like what he heard. Sasuga was talking privately with her? But…but…gah! Never mind that the other two females were there too. The orange-haired teen persisted with his silent stewing, even as Lala pierced through the boredom situated with lunch by loudly propositioning the meal and nearly jumping Naruto in his seat as she joined him.

He began speaking to her in hushed whispers to try and calm her, somehow maintaining eye contact with her despite the massive reddening of his cheeks. He couldn't get last night out of his head when the pinkette attempted to wash his back, which he had allowed, until she had inched closer to help clean him better and inadvertently pressed her breasts against his skin. As he jumped he knocked the soap out of her hands which caused her to chase after it, obviously showing off more of herself than Naruto was comfortable with. _Then_ she tried to help wash the rest of him which turned into a chase around the bathroom until finally he got her to back off by requesting to wash her own back. Things calmed and the night went on normally, with the whole fiasco somehow staying under Jiraiya's radar thanks to the help of his clone. He was heavily thinking about sticking to showers from then on. The ninja was able to keep his embarrassment to a minimum despite Lala's no-care attitude towards her nudity…

Until he woke up.

Seriously. He double-checked the locks on his doors and windows. How the hell did she and Peke keep getting in? It was something that plagued his thoughts even as the duo was seated at his seat while eating their respective meals. Lala was very exuberant about the food packed away inside her bag, especially with the fact that Naruto himself had made it for her. He usually made his own which wasn't too hard but now there was another person he had to take care of. That involved making twice as much food and escaping with it intact before Jiraiya sniffed it out like a bloodhound and tried to scarf it down himself.

Damn bastard…make your own breakfast.

A buzzing in his pocket caused Naruto to reach in and dug out the vibrating electronic device nestled within. Lala watched silently as the boy struggled to remember how to answer the phone before the proverbial light bulb went off over his head and he remembered which button allowed him to talk. Since it was lunchtime and therefore a free period, doing something such as speaking on a cell phone wasn't against the rules. Unless someone like that Kotegawa girl saw him doing it though…

The caller ID and picture revealed Risa to be the one on the opposite end of the line, and after pressing down the button he placed the phone against his ear. "Hello? Risa-chan? Did something happen?"

"_...Hello, Naruto Uzumaki._"

"Who the hell are you, why are you talking on my friend's phone thingy, and how do you know my name?"

"_My, my…so many questions without missing a beat. All will be answered in due time. After all, you and I have a common interest. Say…the princess of Planet Deviluke? I would like to see you immediately. If you don't, however…well…let's just say something unfortunate may befall your classmates._" The grip on Naruto's phone tightened as he could nearly picture the glee on the mystery caller's face. However, he didn't want to make a scene and swallowed the anger he was feeling. _For now_. Plenty of time later to punch this bastard's teeth in.

"Fine. Where at?"

"_The sports equipment shed. Now. And for a little incentive…_" The call immediately cut off causing the ninja to screw up his eyes in confusion. What the hell did that mean? The voice sounded familiar too but he just couldn't place it at the moment. The item suddenly shook again, signifying he had a new text message. He was able to get it open only to recoil slightly at the picture within. It was of Haruna, Risa, and Mio, all unconscious by the looks of it, and strung up like dolls by some sort of organic rope. The chopsticks in his other hand cracked in half at the sight. Was this one of Lala's marriage candidates that both she and the king mentioned would try to take her away? Besides the fact the Earth would be destroyed if he failed, this guy did a major no-no in his book:

He messed with Naruto's friends/precious people.

"Aiya? Are you okay, Naruto? Who called you?" The boy blinked and looked at his housemate who was staring back at him and his hand worriedly. A nervous chuckle escaped his lips as he wiped away the mess in his palm, sliding the phone back into his pocket without looking. Squinting his eyes and giving her a grin Naruto shook his head in a dismissing way. It was time to make something up. He couldn't exactly tell her what just happened. Knowing Lala, she'd want to go and save them with her gadgets and likely expose the two of them in the process. While noble, there was also the possibility the other alien could just kidnap her instead. Another thing he couldn't let happen.

"Just Ero-sennin messing with me, making me somehow think Risa was calling." She took in a quick breath and giggled, imaging the older man sitting in his chair back at the house while trying to disguise his voice to sound feminine. That thought alone had sent her into a spiel of laughter, finding it simply too hilarious but knowing it could be a possibility after spending time with the two males.

"Ero-sennin-san is so funny sometimes!"

Naruto opened his eyes but couldn't stop them from eventually drooping, falling into a rather deadpan stare as he thought about his teacher. "Yeah, he's a real comedian alright." he added blandly though Lala took no notice. The girl was still innocently joking about the pervert but finally stopped when Naruto's chair screeched as he stood up.

"Something wrong?"

"Oh, uh…I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom. Make sure no one takes my food, okay Lala-chan? You can have some if you want though." he added, trying to placate the girl into getting her to stay put. The pinkette smiled and drew his food box closer to herself even as the blond moved and walked out of the room. Once Naruto was out of sight, Saruyama and a few other boys swarmed the princess to try and eat lunch with her since she was now alone and they had some sort of a chance. Lala happily complied, unknowing or even uncaring of what was going through their hormonal minds. After all she only had eyes for one.

Students squealed and grabbed at their clothes as a person blew down the hallways at a speed not normally allowed in the building. One teacher yelled out to stop running in the halls but Naruto paid him no heed, too intent on making it to the stairs, down said stairs, and then out the door towards the PE area of the grounds. The blond hoped that things didn't progress _too_ much to the point him and his newest foe were duking it out in the courtyard. Well, a quick henge could always solve his appearance and allow him to fight while still hiding in plain sight.

"Was that…it was!" Yui Kotegawa fixed her flaring skirt with a look of loathing, finding the fact that the boys around her had tried to sneak a peek at her hidden underwear when given the chance simply shameless. A withering glare from the pretty ravenette sent them on their way before the girl turned and puffed her cheeks out in frustration at what had just happened. Naruto Uzumaki had just broken the 'no running' rule inside of the school and not only that had went about exposing girls to the filthy-minded boys around them. If that didn't call for drastic actions then she didn't know what would.

Clearing her throat, Yui stalked down the hallway with a purpose. Thank goodness she had already finished eating and took to patrolling the hallways for rule-breakers. It was her job to help keep order in Sainin High when things got out of hand and this was one of them. Once she found him, that blond fool was getting the tongue-lashing of a lifetime. No way he'd sweet talk his way out of this one!

She looked left.

She looked right.

Kotegawa huffed and moved off, searching for any hint of yellow hair she could find while passing student after student. Apparently she actually had _two_ purposes at the moment as her brownish-gold eyes scanned the surroundings: first she had to find the pervert and **then** she'd chew him out on his lack of self-control. Just wait. He wouldn't know what hit him and no taiyaki would save him this time.

…even though it had been pretty good…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Inside of the supply shed, Sasuga stood silently as his eyes scanned over the three teenagers currently held as hostages for reasons none of them knew about. "Hmmm…these girls may not be Lala but they're not that bad themselves…this one's got some curves on her (Risa), this one's sorta mousy but I'll admit the glasses are cute (Mio), and this one may not have Lala's figure but she's got room to grow (Haruna)." As he finished leering at the captives the man thumbed a control, causing the strange tentacles to wrap tightly around their crotches and fondle their chests. A vicious grin split across his face as the teacher watched them twist and moan in their sleep. "Let's see which one has the cutest voice."

**WHAM**

"LET THEM GO, ASSHO-you?" Naruto rushed into the room and chucked a rock at the man, finally noticing in shock that it was the gym teacher. His arm lost a bit of strength and control at the upset and it allowed the person to turn sideways and dodge the rather slow moving projectile. With a sneer Sasuga ran a hand through his light-tinted hair before pointing towards the girls and wagging a finger mockingly. The trio was each in mild states of discomfort and the sight caused the jinchuriki to clench his jaw in anger. It looked like something found in one of Jiraiya's books and truthfully it was just making the ninja madder. This Sasuga guy was about to get knocked the fuck out.

"You're pretty fast aren't you, Naruto Uzumaki? I wouldn't have minded if you took longer to walk here. Don't be so hasty though." Too bad for him because Naruto wasn't going to have any of that. With a small roar the teen rushed the teacher only to jump back in alarm when the man's skin suddenly rippled and twisted as though it were alive. Pink flesh gave way to a more sickly pale green and grew in size, gaining wiry muscle. A piercing wail issued forth from his mouth as pointed fangs erupted out of the exposed gums and forced Sasuga into a form that was clearly not anything remotely human anymore.

"Don't be too care**less if you wish for them to remain uninjured, boy.**" 'Sasuga' spat out, standing taller than before with a toothy grin and wide, exposed eyes. The blond was now one-hundred percent sure that this guy was actually an alien. One of Lala's fiancé candidates to boot. Should he have seen something like this on the eventual horizon? With the way his life was…yes. Yes he should have. It didn't stop the shinobi from shouting out in revulsion though, with knees bent slightly and one hand pointing exaggeratingly at the other lifeform.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE? You should have stayed in human form you ugly bastard! Seriously! Do you even know how hideous you are? Little kids would run away screaming as soon as they laid eyes on your nasty face!"

"**SHUT UP, EARTHLING! This is my true form, and it is much more wonderful than your disgusting pink meat sack!**"

"…you just insulted Lala too!"

The alien twitched in shock, wide, toothy mouth opening and closing without words as he tried to come up with a decent answer against the accusation. A flash of pure rage swiftly crossed his features and with a small growl he lashed out his hand threateningly. Whether or not it was actually supposed to scare Naruto somehow…well, it didn't.

"**How dare you spout off such disgusting claims! Lala may have the close appearance of your species but she rises above all others! That body! That face! Those breasts! Once I become her husband it will all be mine!**"

"Fat chance! As if she'd want to get hitched with your nasty ass!"

As the blond continued antagonizing his newest enemy, the raised voices were doing a great job of masking any other noises currently going on in the small building such as the girls' continued whimpers. The rock Naruto had thrown prior twitched once in its spot in the darkened corner of the room before disappearing in a near-quiet puff of smoke. From within the obscurant a clone of the boy nodded once to itself before stealthily creeping over to it creator's friends and pulling out a hidden kunai from within its yellow sleeve. Silently wishing itself luck, the chakra construct began cutting away at the base of the tentacles closest to the ceiling to free them. If the Uzumaki teen could keep all attention on himself, the kage bunshin could free the girls and then they could proceed to beating the stuffing out of Mr. Ugly.

"**Insolence! I only needed to use my mimicry ability to take the spot of this 'Sasuga' human and continue my plan! I am Ghi Bree-sama and I will not have a lowly monkey such as yourself talk back to me in such a way! You should be honored to even be in my presence!**" A huff of air passed forcefully through Bree's nostrils but the alien's eye twitched at the sight before himself. Naruto had taken to yawning loudly and rubbing at his azure eyes before staring back at him lamely, clearly not seeing how dire the situation was. In fact he did but Ghi Bree didn't need to know that.

"You done? Because I really don't care what you think." More anger. So much more anger. It nearly blinded the alien and caused him to throw caution to the wind and do something drastic just to wipe that stupid look off the blond's face. But suddenly it was gone, replaced by a lucid calm. The ends of the creature's mouth curled upwards yet again as fingers stroked his greenish chin in thought.

"**You're quite annoying, aren't you? That's okay though…with simpletons like you, sometimes things need to simply be spelled out clearly so you can understand and get it through your thick skull. I will only say this once so pay close attention: give up on courting Lala. I will be the one to marry her and become the successor of the Devilukan Empire, not you. Plus, if you do not accept that request then I will not return these women to you at all. I may not become king in that situation but I think the consolation prize will be just as good…**" Bree began laughing rather perversely, running a deep purple tongue across his teeth to recapture some of the drool that had escaped at the thought. "**So what are you going to do? I don't have the patience to stand around here all day.**"

To Naruto, it actually seemed like the perfect escape clause but it would never work out. He couldn't let Lala marry this freak. Plus there was the whole 'Earth destroyed' thing that would put a cramp in his future plans. Plus, like he'd let this freaky alien take away his friends and do god-knows-what to them. Seeing that the ninja wasn't going to budge Ghi Bree frowned and pressed the button in his hand as an incentive. The cries and moans he expected would surely make this idiot of a boy finally express he had no desire to marry Lala and save his friends. How foolish, having such worries over anyone other than themselves. Looking out for #1 was a top priority and always would be.

Except he grew worried when silence continued to reign.

Bree looked back, not even deeming the boy as a threat, and the sight caused his already bulging eyes to grow wider in unbridled dread. His hostages were free from their bonds and laying softly upon one of the shed's mats, unmolested and under the guard of Naruto-wait, another Naruto? Ghi Bree's eyes snapped back and forth between the two blonds, both smiling in a predatory manner as one began rolling his sleeves up to the elbows. What the hell was going on? Wasn't this little bastard a mere Earthling? How did he do…_whatever this is_, without raising any sort of alert?

"Do you…" the one closest to the door began with a grin that showed off plenty of teeth, "Do you really think Lala would fall for you and your ass face, especially after this little incident here with taking her friends against their will?" Naruto took a step forward and cracked his knuckles before running a finger underneath his nose with a quick swipe of the digit. "I think you're pretty messed up in the head there."

"**Stay back! You may have taken my trump card but that doesn't mean I can't simply obliterate you all with my power and take what is mine! We're getting married! I've decided it! Her personality may be childish but her figure isn't! Plus marrying her will make me the king of everything! I will not lose this chance of a lifetime!**"

With a heaving grunt, Ghi's body once more came alive as the clothing literally burst from his body in a mass of shredded cloth due to the sudden influx of muscle mass. The alien continued to bellow as he grew two times larger than before and spikes erupted from his back and shoulders, laughing heartily at the frozen fear he knew was now coursing through Naruto's veins. But…there was no scream of horror or shaking in terror that he was expecting. No. Ghi Bree was being glared at with a frightening intensity that was missing from the blond moments before, a glare that caused a bead of sweat to trigger and slowly drip down his face. How was he this defiant? Why wasn't he afraid?

"It's assholes like you that make me sick. You don't care who you hurt in the process as long as your own goals are met." A flash of a man with glowing amber eyes with slit pupils and the likeness of a serpent appeared in Naruto's mind before vanishing, causing the boy to subconsciously release the hold on his anger and direct killing intent at his 'love rival'. After facing the likes of the bloodthirsty Demon of the Mist, the lacking of morals Snake Sannin, and the purely psychotic tanuki biju as big as a boss summon, did Bree really think increasing his size was going to benefit him? Not a chance. All it did was give the boy a bigger target. "All you want is Lala's body and a throne. You're a despicable bastard and I am **so **going to enjoy the next five minutes."

A cross was formed from his extended fore and middle fingers as a sudden influx of energy supercharged the air. Before the alien could even blink he was blinded by a large gust of smoke and a river of yellow that descended upon him like a wave of righteous fury. Bree's screams of pain resounded through the shed until all that remained was the constant smack of fists connecting with flesh. For an 'almighty' alien who supposedly had just a huge ass-load of power in his body, the green organism was one hell of a pussy. Ghi Bree was just a huge wimp that changed his appearance to get what he wanted or bully others into coercion. The idiot literally had no fighting spirit to speak of, and once the beat down had finished he transformed back into his true form; a little, grasshopper-like creature that looked somewhat like the form he took when he had revealed he wasn't actually Sasuga.

Loops of tightly wound rope found inside of the small sports shed were used to tie up the highly wounded alien before his trussed up body was dropped next to the doorway. A few clones remained behind after the mass dispelling, watching over the three girls and happily finding nothing wrong with them besides some lingering discomfort on their faces. One even ripped the base of the tentacle machine off the ceiling and dropped it next to its master. The original Uzumaki walked outside and wiped a few traces of bluish-black blood from his knuckles upon the grass before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling through the limited numbers, looking at the highlighted name with a quiet gaze before sighing in frustration and ringing his pink-haired housemate.

The line rang three times before the perky pinkette picked up (it seemed her D-Dial actually did have the capability to make telephone calls, which she had fine-tuned to connect with Earth's satellites) and happily began conversing. "_Hellooooooo, Naruto! I wasn't expecting you to call me! Saruyama-san and his friends have been keeping me company while you were gone but I was starting to get bored…how come you're taking so long? Are you pooping?_"

"Lala! No!" he cried aghast with a slight waver in his voice. "Don't say that so loudly! I'm not in the bathroom! Sheesh…but, I did run into a problem though. Could you come down to the gym supply shed? I ran into one of my fellow…candidates…"

He could hear her hum in confusion and the ninja could literally imagine her tilting her head cutely to the side, before hearing her sniff and realize what he was talking about. "_Oh…oh! Are you okay? Which one was it?_"

"I'm fine. He called himself Ghi Bree and kept changing his shape. Now he's just some midget tied up by some rope." Naruto moved back inside the shack and poked the unconscious alien with his toe, getting a low groan in response. "He was actually the one who called me and sorta forced me to come down here because he took Mio, Haruna, and Risa hostage. It wasn't Ero-sennin who called me. I just made that up so things wouldn't seem suspicious and he didn't try anything against you…I'm sorry for lying. I just didn't want you to worry."

"_...I'll be there soon._" she said quickly before hanging up. As the dial tone reached his ears Naruto realized her voice sounded somewhat quiet at the end, being more subdued and slightly terse. It was something that didn't suit Lala's nature.

"I think…I might've messed up."

"You did lie to her." a clone interjected from his spot at the light-haired brunette's side. Risa was no longer looking uncomfortable and seemed rather content. Same for Haruna and Mio, who were lying quietly and soundly unperturbed.

"Even if it _was _to protect her." added the second who took to leaning against the wall.

"Boss needs to learn about the troubles of a relationship all couples go through, anyways." chimed in the third. His statement caused the real shinobi to scrunch up his nose and stare at the loud creation with something akin to confused anger.

"Shut up! We're not dating!...I think! Anyways, how would you know about relationship troubles? You're me!"

"Because I pay attention to things! You do too but you're too stupid to remember it all!"

"You're stupid!"

Before the boy could continue arguing with himself, the four heard a sharp gasp at the door that made them all swivel their heads in that direction simultaneously and mutter a low "shit". There in the entrance stood Kotegawa, wide-eyed with her hands placed against her chest. The ravenette was panting slightly as though she had been moving at a brisk pace while her eyes darted between the 'quadruplets' and unconscious females. What the hell was she doing here? In fact, how did the pretty girl find them in the first place?

Why in the hell did he forget to create a lookout for this exact sort of confrontation?

"W…what? How is…" Bangs cascaded along her face as her body trembled, more from the sheer audacity of there being four identical Narutos than from any sort of fear. Her adrenaline was pumping from the search and minor excitement of finally nailing the boy but the sight before her had the poor female's heart racing. Yui's mind idly knew her year-mates were there on the floor but she was too engrossed in the seemingly impossible feat before her very eyes. She had asked around and someone mentioned they saw what looked like Naruto heading towards the gym area. When she heard voices coming form the supply shack she knew it had to be him. Now she was wondering if it was all a mistake.

To make matters worse, the disciplinarian heard a gurgle at her side that caused her to let out a high-pitched scream and keel over, out like a light. As Naruto rushed over and gently caught her in his arms he realized the sight of a bloody, beaten, bound and gagged alien was just too much for her at the moment and it made her faint. Now ain't that a bitch? "Well, Gouzen-chan…how am I going to get out of this one?" Silence was his answer, even as she readjusted slightly in his grasp. She really was a cutie in the shinobi's opinion now that he had an uninterrupted view of her…at least, he mused, when she wasn't yelling at him.

The jinchuriki softly carried her over and laid her down next to the others before the door opened for yet another time and his savior skipped through the portal with some of her old energy back in place. "Naruto! There you are! Ah, Haruna, Mio, and Risa!" Lala stopped suddenly upon noticing the fourth addition, to which she looked at her fiancé curiously. "Who's that?"

"I'll explain later. First, what do we do about this guy?" Naruto pointed over her shoulder which caused the alien to follow his line of sight and frown heavily at what she saw.

"Ew! Ghi Bree…so it's true. I always told him many times I hated him but he wouldn't give up. I didn't know he looked like that, though."

"**He appears to be a Balkean, Lala-sama. Their bodies are very delicate and so make up for it with an excellent mimicry ability.**"

"I see…you have some explaining to do, mister!" She suddenly rounded on the lone male while eyeing him sternly, hands on her hips and defiance in her stance. The blond felt very self-conscious again. So he did as she asked, telling her all that had happened from the time Bree called him on Risa's phone all the way up to the princess' appearance. He was confused on Yui's part but gave his best reason anyways, citing it was likely just a wrong place/ wrong time sort of thing.

"And then you burst in and here we are."

Lala tapped a finger against her chin as she absorbed the newest information given. "You only lied to protect me from being taken away, and to not scare anyone who doesn't know about aliens?" At his nod Lala became uncharacteristically silent again as she stood in front of him with her eyes downcast. Naruto fidgeted slightly in the tense atmosphere but suddenly found his view flipped when the pinkette leapt at him, knocking him over as he tackled him into yet another hug. He was still pretty much only used to familial hugs from the likes of Tsunade, Shizune, and occasionally Iruka, but these meaningful ones from a girl his own age still threw him for a loop. It didn't stop the blushing teenager from eventually looping his arms around her waist though.

She pulled back slightly as her form draped over his own, smiling sweetly which did nothing more than baffle him greatly. Especially with how she had been acting prior to the hug. In truth the girl was originally miffed he had lied to her about such a serious topic, but such feelings evaporated like water in the desert after hearing what he had done for her sake. "Lala? Are you…"

"You did all this to make sure he couldn't marry me! I'm so happy!"

Naruto's face dropped into a neutral expression as his eyes turned to look at the still bound shapeshifter. "Like I'd let him. The way he was talking about you…he didn't care if you were happy with his plans. Stupid bastard only cared about appearances. Told me so himself. He only wanted what would be good for himself, namely rule the galaxy and how hot you are. If I said no then he was just going to take Risa, Mio, and Haruna as a 'consolation prize'!" He growled lightly at the end but his attention was drawn back towards Lala whose own eyes had widened slightly before growing soft. With a grin still etched on her face and a minor blush of her own, the princess giggled and looked him dead in his blue irises.

"The way you just said it…so you think I'm hot too, huh?"

All she was answered with was a choking sound. "I, uh, I-I-" It didn't matter anymore as Lala hopped off of her position on his lap and stood up straight with her fists raised into the air. His shy stuttering and inability to deny such a thing was more than enough evidence for the tailed female. Now she at least definitely knew there was a mutual attraction. Whether or not it was due to the influence of his other crush though, she didn't really know or care at this point. AND! Once again he proved himself and showed Lala she had made the correct choice in choosing to marry him.

"Oooooooooooooookay! I know exactly what to do with him!" A quick press of her cell phone brought forth yet another invention of hers that appeared in a quick burst of digital transmission. This one was a large white toilet crafted into the shape of a duck's head with Devilukan designs. It landed on the ground with a dull clunk before Lala grabbed the greenish alien and lifted the upper lid of the item. She gave a small glare at the male before removing her grip from the rope she was holding and dropped him without restraint. "Slosh-slosh Warp-kun will flush him down and deport him from the planet. Don't come near me or Earth anymore, Ghi Bree!"

The alien let loose one more gurgle from inside the watery machine before the handle was pushed and the machine powered up. The liquid swirled around in a strong vortex before bubbling heavily and making a large amount of noise that inevitably died off until it once again ran quietly. The mass of tentacles was the next to go, disappearing into the watery portal before Lala returned the machine to its former confines.

"Any ideas on what to do now? She saw Bree's alien form and me using clones! Our cover's blown! The pervert's gonna kill me!" Naruto was nearly pulling his hair out at the implications of Yui walking in on him. They'd have to move on! Leave behind everyone without even a simple explanation! Training was going to turn into 'beat on Naruto because he was stupid' while pretending to be called training! Hell, Jiraiya might just take him straight back to Konoha where he'd likely be beaten for the sage's stupid decisions!

Gah!

"Who is she?" Lala's simple sentence cut through his sweaty worrying like a sharp knife, causing him to gulp and force his breathing under control. With a loud 'phew' he turned and walked over next to the pinkette with a small shiver in his step.

"That's…I call her Gouzen-chan but her real name is…is…Kotegawa! No, wait…Kokegawa? Dammit I should remember this."

"Isn't that the one Haruna-chan talked about before?"

"Yeah…she must have been looking for me or something. I don't know." Lala looked amongst the four girls and the clones who had remained silently in the background during the two's interactions before bopping one of her fists into her other palm. It was followed by a nod that happened so quickly, the strand of curly hair atop her head wobbled in place before settling back down into its preferred spot.

"Don't worry, I just thought of an idea…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lights flickered in front of closed eyes as consciousness slowly returned. What happened? Wasn't she at school? So why…why was she asleep? "Hahiiiii…w-what happened?" The very first thing Yui saw upon opening her eyes was the concerned green orbs and rather pretty face of Lala Satalin Deviluke. A very close Lala Satalin Deviluke. The ravenette felt her face heat up from embarrassment from the extreme proximity and shot upwards, clutching at the area beneath her to steady her dizzy body. Her head darted around to see she was in the infirmary, lying upon one of the many cots and nowhere near the shed that caused her to black out.

Lala wasn't the only one there either. Naruto sat in one of the chairs off to the side while the medical examiner Mikado sat at her desk, drinking from a steaming cup while looking over a few charts. The other three girls were awake as well, conversing among themselves while waiting for the teacher to finish her reading. Movement at the edge of her vision caused the teenager to focus back on the pink-haired female who was sitting back in her seat with a wide grin at seeing her moving around.

"Yay, you're awake! Is your head okay?"

"What is going on here? I was just in the…P.E. shed looking for- YOU!" Soles clicked against the tiles as Kotegawa jumped to her feet and pointed at the lone male menacingly. If looks could kill, he would have melted already under her fierce gaze. To his credit, all Naruto did was smile weakly and gulp, sweating heavily on the inside and hoping Lala's plan worked.

"H-hey there, Gouzen-chan. Y-you scared us back there when you ran into the shed and slipped. How's your head feeling?" Yui's look of rage quickly diminished, replaced by bewilderment as a hand quickly placed itself against her skull to check for any signs of damage while she quickly muttered a 'don't call me that'. Watching her work the ninja chuckled weakly in response. "Yeah, it's been one hell of a day. First Sasuga-sensei calls me using Risa-chan's phone, saying all three of the girls over there fainted somehow when he was going to speak with them about class and he needed help moving them. I rushed down there and called Lala-chan for some extra help, when suddenly you show up and fall."

"It…was a dream then?"

"What was?"

She blinked as the memories came back to her, of the multitude of Uzumakis and that, that THING! She repressed the shudder that threatened to wrack her body. "More like a nightmare…there was a monster and four of those shameless blonds standing around the unconscious bodies of those three over there."

"Besides the monster getting in the way, sounds like a good start to my kind of a dream." Risa decided to chime in, sending a wink towards Naruto. Before the black-haired student could start ranting at her fellow female about acting with such loose morals, the visibly flustered fifteen-year old jumped in (literally) to help blow things over quickly and finish deceiving everyone into thinking a normal, perfectly logical situation happened. One arm was held out towards Yui while the other stretched towards Risa and the others.

"HEY, SO! You're all great according to Mikado-sensei, so how about we finish up here and get back to class? Lunch is over and we shouldn't be missing out…and all that junk." he mumbled at the end. Naturally he could care less, taking to sleeping or slacking off while at his desk. By the looks he was getting from his classmates they knew as well but still took it at face value. The busty medical examiner turned in her seat and regarded the younger members with a mild smirk, folding one arm beneath her large chest while the other held her cup near her mouth in case she felt like taking a sip of the bitter brown coffee resting within her mug.

"Uzumaki-san is correct-"

"Don't say it like that, I sound old."

"-you're all free to go if you decide to leave. Thank _Uzumaki-kun_ and Lala-san as well for making sure you were all safe."

"…better? How come Lala got the name that didn't make her sound like she was in her thirties?"

"Because this sweet, young girl didn't interrupt when I was speaking." The red/brown-haired woman merely smiled kindly at him despite the teasing which did the job of getting Naruto to grunt and deflate slightly in his chair. The girls giggled at his plight, even Yui though it was because he got told off in a way, before Lala skipped over to her friends and pulled Haruna into a quick hug that caused the slender teen to become taken aback. The alien royalty expressed how she was glad everyone was safe and how they really needed to watch themselves so nothing like that ever happened again. It held a higher meaning but the girl's didn't exactly know that.

Naruto suddenly grunted again when a familiar looking bag sailed through the air and landed on his lap. If the appearance hadn't given it away, the smell now wafting from inside the crumpled top sure as hell did. Still, he was confused by why he had just been given it. "What?"

"You left them on the roof during our last encounter. I figured I would return them the next time I met with you."

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about them!"

"...what were you doing on the roof with sensei?"

Luckily before he had to elaborate a grumble issued forth from Haruna's stomach, causing said human to whimper softly and cover her abdomen in mortification. Missing lunch was catching up to her and she wasn't the only one. Risa and Mio were showing signs of discomfort as well, Yui was beginning to frown again, and Lala was staring longingly at the bag in his possession. Without a thought he unraveled the snacks and stuck his arm out towards the others. "Well? Come and get something to eat. They're still good; it hasn't been that long since I bought them." It took a bit more coaxing but he was finally able to get them to share. Even the teacher took one, nibbling on it as she went back to work.

After the lot of them finished their task and the group finally headed off to change (for those that needed it) and return to class, Kotegawa gave Naruto an 'I'm watching you' two-fingered gesture before telling him not to be a pervert. "Also…thank you for assisting me." There was a small speckling of red across her cheeks from admitting such a thing to a boy she considered good for nothing, and when she noticed him grinning at her with closed eyes she scoffed and turned on her heel. The action caused her hair to nearly hit him in the face as the committee member stepped off towards her own classroom. She could have at least said goodbye. Stingy.

They watched her go before Risa, Haruna, and Mio turned to return to the locker rooms. Naruto suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and it had him turning to look right into the face of Risa. One that was giving him a look that suggested whatever was going on in her mind, he was unsure if he wanted to become a part of it knowing her personality. "Ohhhhh, Naruto-kun." Her words came out silkily and low-pitched. Oh lord, she pretty much just purred. What had he done to set her off?

"Y-yes?"

"When I woke up I noticed something…odd, I guess you could say." There was a gleam in her eye and her hand had drifted south from its spot on his shoulder. "My clothes were perfectly fine but, you know, I just couldn't help but feel that my panties were a bit off center than what I remember. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Maybe…decided to take a peek while I was out?" She laughed alongside Mio when the boy somehow tripped over his feet in a _standing position_ before hitting the wall head on. Oh, he was so innocent!

She couldn't wait for the day where his inner beast would finally release itself and she got to see what kind of man he could really be. Risa Momioka was not a slut, nor a girl that went around sleeping with anything with a penis. Hell she was still a virgin. She knew she had a rockin' figure and her flirtatious ways could be easily misconstrued. Any other guy would have already tried to take her up on the offer whenever she had brought such a subject out into the open. But not Naruto. He acted like he was from another time period sometimes, but in the time they had spent together she could see he had a heart of gold. Although the boy was engaged to the vivacious Lala-chii, if something were to ever happen she'd be there…not that she wanted anything bad to befall their relationship though.

Besides, teasing him was just so much fun!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Another place, another time:

Whatever happened to that poor fool Ghi Bree? It was simple enough. Just like Pyon-pyon Warp-kun, Slosh-slosh Warp-kun would transport its inhabitant to any random vector on or in the nearby planet or space once the general coordinates were given. The kicker was they got to keep their clothes in exchange for being completely drenched to the bone and waterlogged. Unfortunately, the Balkean was transported right into the bathroom of one unfortunate victim who just wanted some alone time. Poor Zastin. Couldn't even bath himself aboard his own personal ship without having a random midget alien explode from under the water's surface covered in synthetic tentacles.

Some people just had the worse luck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: New chapter. W00t. Yui's back as well as a small appearance by Mikado. Good looking girls w00t. Tsunade knows of Naruto's new arrangement and obviously she's not happy. I have it planned for him to ship back to Konoha for a time in the future (shippuden canon. I mean, if he hears about Gaara's abduction do you think he'd really not freak out and want to head back for a bit? Gotta love reverse summoning), and his arrival is going to be oh so welcome. If his head isn't punched from his shoulders first. Plus a bit more development between Naruto and Lala. And a bit with Risa too because I can._

_So yeah. _

_Had spring break a few weeks ago followed by yet another break due to my teachers going to some police conference thing in New York. After that I had class for two weeks and now I have Easter break starting Monday. Oh, I'm sorry. Holiday break. Since, y'know, everything's so goddamn politically correct or offensive nowadays. Did you hear they made a list of words that children can't write about in reports or something like that because it might offend other kids who might not know about whatever the subject was? I heard about it on Drew and Mike in the Morning. Good lord…okay, done with that rant._

_Been playing __**a lot**__ of Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations alongside having a butt load of projects for my classes. I hate Danzo, unless someone actually writes him well in their story like Kenchi618's Sealed Kunai (also, the man's pretty much my favorite author on this site), but dammit he's my best character in that game next to Kisame. Now I just have to get good enough to beat my friend…_

_Izanagi FTW._

_Also, randomness possibly brought on by my lack of sleep._

_Later._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 5:

It seemed like time just seemed to skip on by after the events between Naruto and Ghi Bree. Maybe there had been some crazy time warp, or maybe it was because those days were much tamer compared to the rush he had gotten from giving that greenish bastard a beatdown. Though…that is to say things weren't exactly normal enough for his liking.

At one point he had finally decided to take Lala out to get some clothes so she wouldn't have to solely rely on Peke. Mikan had been asked to tag along because, well…Naruto wasn't that good of a person to ask about outfits and the younger girl had been meaning to go out and look for some clothes herself anyways. This way they both got their clothing problems out of the way. To Naruto's pleasure, Rito went as well which at least evened the odds and didn't leave him stuck as the only boy in what was now a female-orientated shopping trip.

It started out well enough though the pinkette's original costume stood out way too much. Peke moved through a bunch of different alterations before settling on a nice little dress she had picked out from the crowd and the group moved off towards the stores. The two males nearly choked when their first stop was a lingerie store chosen by Lala. While it wasn't originally _too_ bad, Rito nearly had a heart attack when they bumped into Haruna who had been browsing around herself. Soon enough, the girl had been inducted into their assembly and they all wound up at the nearby weird fish museum called an 'aquarium'. Lala made that extremely 'exciting' when she supercharged the penguins with a Devilukan-style soldier pill that caused the birds to go insane with energy and start flying around with their overcharged wings.

Then there was the time the ninja introduced her to Gamakichi and Gamatatsu, which had the girl speaking candidly to the two about her time with the blond since she immediately befriended them. The backwashing incident inevitably came up which caused Jiraiya to cry tears of pure joy as the story was copied down despite the violent rebuttal from Naruto. Kichi even inadvertently defeated one of the princess' marriage candidates, an alien named Pryuma, who had simply flown into the house and was actually so small his ship was the size and shape of an Earth fly. The toad was annoyed at the constant buzzing produced by its wings and lashed out with his tongue, crushing the vessel against the wall.

No one heard the tiny scream of anguish.

Not even a few days ago there was a peeping tom rushing around the school that turned out to actually be a form of revenge by Sasuga against the ninja. Though the man took plenty of upskirts and underwear shots, his main target was Lala and her wonderful assets. The poor baseball player never knew what hit him when the blond figured it out and took affirmative action. Especially when he tried to snap some photos of all the girls during P.E. class when they were in their one piece swimsuits. Nothing else had really happened after that incident and before long school had finally gone on break as well as summer finally started, allowing the teenagers a break from their studies.

And that…lead to today's events.

"Lala. Why are you in my room packing?" The girl giggled from her spot on the ground, stuffing objects into her already bulging duffle bag without a car. Clad in one of her new white sundresses that hugged her body, Lala picked up a banana and placed it inside with whatever else she had decided was necessary for the trip.

"Because tomorrow's the seaside summer school! It's all Risa and Mio were talking about in class!"

Oh, right. The freshman class got to go to a hot-spring resort for about a week. Everyone had been so excited and it was all everyone talked about since the first day it had been announced. Naruto himself had slowly grown excited as well but for an entirely different and personal reason: the toads. He was finally able to start up that special training promised to him back when he had the heart-to-heart with his fiancé. _Fiancé_. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact he was going to be married. The message they received from Tsunade had been quite short, six words long in length but they could still easily read her intent.

**I will be meeting with her.**

A terrible chill had crawled up their spines when the toad summoners had read the reply, confusing the bubbly girl when they started shivering in their seats.

"I can't wait! It'll be so much fun! There'll be Haruna and Mio and Risa…and you and I will get to swim and spend more time together!" He was not looking forward to saying this next part but sadly it had to be told.

"Lala…I'm not going remember?" The tailed alien immediately froze in mid-movement, one of her tank-tops hanging in front of her face when her arms dropped and she looked at him incredulously.

"Huh?"

"I'm not able to go. I promised I would go and learn senjutsu from the toads during my next break from school. This is that break." Lala blinked before the memory of that day popped into her thoughts and subconsciously caused her to frown. It was after Zastin showed up and Ero-sennin called the old amphibians after they ate for the night. It was also the same day Naruto had essentially told her his greatest secret and the whole deal caused the pinkette to feel as though they had grown closer. It had also completely steamrolled over her memory of the blond agreeing to train.

"Oh…right. I forgot." The room grew silent before a the soft touch of a hand plopped down on the top of her head and rubbed it slowly as if in apology. Green eyes noticed Naruto had moved from his bed to crouch at her side to do such an action that tentatively morphed into a one-armed hug. He didn't have much experience with consoling depressed females his own age, especially one who he was supposed to be romantically involved with. Give a hug? He knew that train of thought would normally get him decked if he ever asked the girls in his year (except maybe Hinata, but that girl had always been strange and passing out around him) although Lala would never do such a thing to him. She appreciated his closeness nonetheless, pulling him into a full embrace and knocking him off his haunches.

The young woman sighed and leaned into his touch, nuzzling her face against him and caused the blond to feel the beginnings of his face warming up. "You won't be gone too long, will you?"

"I'm not sure…h-however long it takes me but it shouldn't be the whole summer."

"Good." She hummed suddenly, gazing at her over-packed bag before looking up slightly into his eyes. "So shouldn't you be packing too?"

"What's to pack? It'll just be me going there to learn. All I need is the regular items I'd be carrying on my person and whatever else I'd need in a backpack. That's what the pervert did when he went." And went he did. Jiraiya himself had dabbled in learning the sage arts from his amphibian familiars but sadly, the man could never fully master the technique. It spurred the jinchuriki to surpass the level his teacher had reached, if at least to be able to lord it over him and hold his achievement over the pervert's head.

Naruto unwrapped his arms and nudged the female to do the same before standing and moving over to his closet. He began searching the very back of the top shelf bathed in shadow before releasing a pleased noise and moving back over to his mattress. The items he dropped onto the bed revealed themselves to be a pair of orange pants and a matching orange jacket with black sleeves that extended across the shoulder and collar-bone area and down the zipper. There was also a white swirl on the left shoulder and larger red swirl on the back. It was quickly followed by his black sandals, black cloth headband, weapons holster, and items pouch, all pulled from random spots inside the room.

"I'll finally get to wear this now that I've grown! Ero-sennin bought it for me since my other clothes pretty much fell apart from how much he was working me. There's just enough orange but I actually think the black looks better on it than white and blue."

"It's so flashy! Aren't ninja supposed to be sneaky and blend in? At least that's what I've heard…"

"Psh…like I follow the rules. I used to outrun the Konoha ANBU…uh, they're like super special black ops ninja that get the really hard missions and watch over the village." he explained, seeing her confused look. "Anyways, I was able to pull a prank and then hide in bright orange and was only caught a few times compared to the hundreds of tricks I pulled."

"Cool!"

Naruto grinned at her enthusiasm but someone clearing their throat at his open door caused him to scowl. "Quit showboating for your hime and get your butt downstairs. Lala might have to find something else to do during the upcoming trip."

"What? Why?"

"The news on the television transmitting screen said there's a typhoon heading towards our area. It's likely the school will cancel the activity so they won't be responsible for students out in the storm. I don't really see the problem but then again, weather didn't matter much back home and we never ran into tropical storms since Fire Country is balmy all year round." Jiraiya had to move sideways to allow the two teens access to the hallway and stairs. By the time he himself made it back to the first floor he came upon the two of them sitting on the couch, vision glued to the TV as it continued to give the weather report. Even outside it was much cloudier than a few hours ago with slightly strong winds buffeting the trees.

"No! But I was preparing for it and all! That's not fair!" Her mouth twitched before she turned to her hovering robotic companion and motioned for her to come over. "I'm going to do something about it! C'mon, Peke!" Sheer fabric wrapped around Lala's body until her Peke dress-form was once again in place and she bolted out the door. Naruto, eyes finally dragging away from the screen having been more interested in the crazy animations the screen was showing, saw the swish of her tail as it disappeared through the portal before finally shouting out. She paid him no heed though and continued on her path to take care of the weather problem, leaving the two ninja behind as one watched her fly away. Damn, flying was cool...but without it he wouldn't be able to halt her progress.

"Crap! I should have stopped her! How's she going to get rid of a big storm?"

"It's too late now, kid. Better to just let her do what she can and come back instead of trying to find her. More importantly, what are you going to do about your summer situation?"

"…what do you mean?"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes and placed his arms across his chest. "Are you really this dense? Even I thought you were starting to grow more attentive thanks to Lala but I guess I was wrong. Rewind a bit and remember what happened between you two back in your room." Naruto's head lowered as his brain racked over the time in his lodgings until the proverbial light bulb lit up upon his discovery.

"She was all excited to go but became really sad when I reminded her I wasn't going."

"And?"

"Aaaaaand…uhhhh…well obviously you know so just tell me already!"

"God you're an idiot…how can you make it so you're both spending time over the summer?" The blond scowled and scrunched up his eyes, doing his best to think besides steaming over the insult. Lala was going to the summer school while he was hopping realms. He obviously couldn't go with her so that left…wait, was that even allowed?

"But she's not a summoner."

"Ah, so the brat _can_ think! Yes, she's not a summoner but that doesn't exactly mean she can't go with us. I believe it's time for you to attempt to summon Pa."

"O…okay." Seconds later the technique was initiated as Naruto overloaded the jutsu with much more chakra than he would use to summon the boss. He had to admit, he was extremely glad that the house didn't explode due to the sudden mass of a massive amphibian smoking a pipe. Instead the smoke cleared to reveal the small green stature of the toad elder. The animal croaked once before smirking and folding his arms behind his back, looking once at Jiraiya before gazing back at the silently confident boy inhaling quickly from the rapid drain on his chakra.

"Ya know, I thought ya'd never get around to callin' me back here boyo." The toad was greatly surprised when the boy fidgeted and suddenly prostrated himself before him, though it seemed greatly exaggerated compared to how someone would normally do such a thing. It also seemed like the ninja was fighting himself for doing the action, even as he began to speak with gusto.

"OH GREAT OLD TOAD GUY! PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS AWESOME SUMMONER'S REQUEST!"

Fukasaku couldn't help but raise a ridged brow at the odd wording and how Naruto was acting, even as Jiraiya slapped his forehead with enough force to knock out a lesser person. This…was not the way he was expecting the jinchuriki to act. Hell, he never expected Naruto to bow before _anyone_ in his life. Then again…the toads were probably one of the things on a very short list that the blond truly respected. They were his friends and family, more so than any humans really.

Plus the boy did seem to have a soft spot for Lala, though it was still up for debate whether or not it was more than just because she had become a great friend in a short period of time. The sannin liked to believe it was because the boy was growing under her positive attentions.

"IT'S REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT AND IT WOULDN'T EXACTLY BE A PROBLEM UNLESS THIS GOES AGAINST SOME ANCIENT TOAD LAW I DON'T KNOW ABOUT!"

Did he really have to yell though?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"**YOU STUPID TYPHOOOOOOOOOOON!**"

Even as Lala returned from facing down the storm, her scream could still be heard reverberating throughout the air. The pinkette had originally flown to the coast of Japan and tried to disperse the weather by way of her inventions but sadly nothing worked. Her devices were mostly used for small-time work or even pranks. Nothing could measure up to the scale the typhoon presented. Unable to fix the problem, she had dropped to the ground feeling useless and unable to right her problem.

She wouldn't get to do anything. The others would be unable to go as well but it felt worse for Lala. No matter what, Naruto still wouldn't be there and she didn't want to be selfish and ask him to just forget about it for now. She owed him so much but the princess still couldn't help but feel a few tears leak from her eyes. It was so…so…unfair.

It was unfair!

And she took it out on the typhoon.

The lesson learned that day was to never piss off Lala enough to make her scream as loud as she could. Hell, the sonic force of her lungs actually drove itself into space in a large wave of reverberating energy. Feeling slightly better but still down in the dumps, the alien slowly flew back home with the occasional flick of her head-wings. The typhoon actually dissipated thanks to her fit of emotion and that meant the vacation was still on but her heart remained heavy. Finally, thanks to simply flying backwards in a straight line, Lala was able to find the aerial view of the house she now called her home and glided down to the front porch with her levitation. Peke disengaged from her master and landed on her shoulder as the girl opened the door, muttering a quiet 'I'm back' as she walked into the living room.

She stopped and blinked curiously upon seeing the old toad from before standing on the coffee table, both Fukasaku and Jiraiya grinning as Naruto sat in the chair with an embarrassed blush gracing his features. "What's going on?"

"Yes, Naruto. Tell Lala-chan what just happened between yourself and Pa." Said boy's head jerked venomously towards his teacher, willing him to explode but if anything that just made the old sage smile even wider. He jumped slightly when Lala sat on the seat's armrest and looked at him expectantly. Pa even hopped up onto the other empty side and nudged the young summoner with his elbow.

"It'll make yer wife-ta-be happy so jus' get it over with."

"FINE! Sheesh…Lala-chan…uh, w-what would you say if you learned you could go with us to the toad's home while I trained?"

"Eh? EEEEEEH? Really? You mean I can go too?"

"A'course ya can! Normally we don' allow non-summoners ta go there, but family's always an exception. We cherish those types o' bonds. Aye, I remember back when Minato-chan would occasionally call us an' ask if he could bring his girlfriend. Us toads got along swell with that girly. Ya remind me a lot about the Yondaime, Naruto-chan. Why, ya almost look like a clone o' his or somethin'. " Fukasaku continued looking at Naruto during his explanation before sending a pointed look towards Jiraiya, getting the man to narrow his eyes at the blatant way the amphibian was trying to get a rise out of him. Of course Naruto looked like him. He was the guy's son! But that information was still too sensitive for him to know yet…no matter how much he wanted to tell the teenager. Naruto was all smiles though about being told he looked like his hero but the topic was starting to head into dangerous waters. So…instead Jiraiya abruptly changed the subject like a pro.

"You should have seen it. The brat thought he was going to have to fight tooth and nail to persuade Pa to let you come with us, even going as far to get down and beg. I have to say it was quite entertaining…in fact, I should have recorded it somehow because no one would believe me even if I told them about it. Count yourself lucky Lala, because I never thought Naruto would have done that for anybody."

The girl in question shivered in her spot before rocketing off the armrest like a guided missile and colliding with Naruto's torso. The impact forced the air from his lungs and flipped the two of them over the seat while uprooting the chair and sending all of it sliding into the wall with a heavy crash. The elder toad fortunately jumped in time but Naruto wasn't so lucky. They could hear his wheezing from underneath the make-shift barrier formed from the furniture and wall as well as Lala's squeals of happiness. The seat suddenly spun as the curvy female stood abruptly while holding her fiancé's limp form by his arm and dragging him bodily down the hall.

"Come on! We have to call everyone and let them know I'm going with you instead! And the school too!" A muted gurgle was her reply. That was followed by a dull thump as his head connected with the wall accidently which only made him moan in pain but the alien was just so ecstatic at the change of events she didn't notice. It made the two remaining old timers chuckle at her exuberance as they disappeared from sight, especially when they heard the shinobi's loose body being dragged up the steps with a muted noise to mark his body hitting every protrusion.

It was silent for a few seconds before Pa's mood dropped and he eyed his former student with a tight-lipped expression, boring into him with his yellowed irises and making the sannin feel slightly self-conscious. "He don't know about his family." It wasn't a question. Jiraiya swallowed heavily before shaking his head in the negative.

"No."

"And why's that? You saw his face when I mentioned it. That was the look o' a boy thinkin' about his hero, not his father!"

"You think I like keeping it from him? The mere fact that he's the son of the Fourth Hokage is an instant invitation for assassination attempts! And you've seen his personality…that's not something he'd be able to keep to himself. All it would take is one slip up and the trouble begins."

"More trouble 'en the fact he's a container? Because ah jus' know that's made his life all fun and games, especially bein' all alone and whatnot." Jiraiya visibly winced at the shot.

"I know I have no excuse for taking so long to meet him…that's why I'm doing all I can to make it up to him. The mere fact that Lala showed up randomly out of the blue is a godsend. She could have wound up in anyone's house and instead she appeared here. You've seen the way she looks at him. It's exactly what he needs in his life, and I know she won't give up on trying to make him fall for her. He doesn't seem to notice either but he's slowly starting to come around to the idea even if he doesn't truly realize it. Telling her about the Kyuubi? Do you really think he'd just tell anyone about that? Or _beg on his knees_ so she won't be depressed at the fact they'd be separated? He's the type who would do anything for those he considers precious…but he's not that humble."

"You're afraid he ain't strong enough yet ta fend off attacks?" Jiraiya simply nodded. "And when didja expect him to be able enough?"

"It's been decided when he turns eighteen or becomes a chunin that he would be 'able'."

"A chunin?" Pa jumped suddenly and slapped the man in the back of the head with enough force to stagger him greatly. "Ya damn fool! Ah can tell jus' by sensin' his chakra that he's at least medium chunin level o' experience already! And that's ignorin' the big mess o' demon in his coils! Add senjutsu to the mix an' he'll be on a whole 'nother level!"

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"Fer bein' a colossal idiot!" The two remained scowling and glaring before the heat of the moment finally passed and the two seemed to slump. It was Fukasaku who began speaking again as they heard a few thumps and laughs come from the ceiling. At least the mood up there was nice. "What's got ya so afraid?"

"…that he'll hate me once he finds out."

"He's gonna find out sooner or later. Better ta get it over with now than when he's older and can easily kick yer ass." Jiraiya chuckled lazily and righted the still askew chair before plopping down into it with a sigh. He knew that already…and the kid would _never_ be able to kick his ass. But…no, Tsunade and Hiruzen's wishes be damned. It was Naruto's right to know.

"If he can master sage mode I'll tell him. If not, or we run out of time, then I'll keep to the original deal. He's going to hate me regardless but Lala will be there to help him through the maelstrom of emotions."

"As'll us toads. Naruto-chan's one o' us and we'll be there for him as long as he's a part o' the contract."

It was one heck of a family to be a part of but they really wouldn't have it any other way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe you're both not going. It's going to be so much fun!"

"Well…I already had something planned for the summer and when we learned Lala could go as well, I asked if she wanted to come along." Naruto rubbed his head sheepishly as he and Lala stood there in common clothes within a sea of school uniforms. Rito, Kenichi, Haruna, Risa, and Mio were clustered around them while they waited for the go ahead to get on the buses. Saruyama was standing in a daze, nearly drooling at the sight of the princess in her dress as the others continued speaking with the 'couple'.

"That's not fair…I want to go with you too."

"Sorry Risa. You'll just have to have enough fun for the both of us."

"Oh I can think of something alright but it'll have to wait until you return." The blank stare he gave her caused the brunette to look at him in deadpan before covering her eyes with her hand. "I'll give you three guesses." He merely blinked again before Mio decided to take pity on him and whisper in his ear. His face immediately exploded into a bright cherry hue that caused them all to laugh even as the blond shook his head to try and clear his thoughts.

"A-anyways…it's not like we'll be busy over the whole summer. We'll call you all when we return and then we can hang out and all that."

"You better believe it."

"_**Alright everyone, it's time to go! Please make your way onto the buses and we'll be on our way!**_" The principal's voice echoed over grounds as he made his announcement thanks to the microphone in his hands. A few cheers rang out as the students began bustling onto the waiting transportation. The group of friends said their goodbyes before joining their fellows shuffling up the metal steps inside of the buses. As the other teenagers curved around the two left behind, Naruto felt someone behind him clear their throat and it caused him to spin around to take a look. There, waiting with her hands on her hips, was Yui with an indiscernible expression across her face as the wind slightly ruffled her skirt.

"I couldn't help but overhear you aren't joining us."

"Um…yeah?"

"And she is going to be with you?" the onyx-haired girl asked, tilting her head towards Lala. At Naruto's nod the strict girl raised an eyebrow and pushed past him and onto one of the buses with one final parting sentence. "Don't do anything shameless, you pervert."

"What was that, Gouzen-chan? Of course! I'll totally miss you as well! It's such a tragedy but we'll have to keep on waiting until the day we're finally reunited!" Yui immediately froze in her spot and twirled, intent on screaming at the boy for yelling out things that were so totally not true. That damnable smirk on his face caused her to see red and yet before she could dress him down the doors swung closed, separating her from the outside world. All she could do from then on was shake a fist menacingly and grind her teeth together to try and release some of her annoyance. Oooh, he was infuriating!

"She's so silly! Will she really miss you that much?"

Naruto could only chuckle at Lala's wide-eyed curiosity before shaking his head no. Kotegawa? Miss him? After all the times he antagonized her or she tried to catch him doing something 'shameless' after their first awkward meeting? That'd be like Tsunade welcoming the two ninjas back without breaking any bones in the process. Not gonna happen. "I was just kidding around to mess with her. It's pretty fun. Did you see the look on her face?"

"It was pretty funny, yeah!" The girl wasted no time as the long vehicles began to pull away, waving erratically at the one lone bus that all their friends were sitting on until they grew smaller and smaller in the distance. As the excitement died away and her arm dropped back to its spot at her side something brushed against the edge of her hand and caused her to twitch and jerk her head down. Thankfully it wasn't something gross like a slimy monster or Ghi Bree, instead merely being Naruto's own hand. The blond had jerked slightly too at the unprepared contact but immediately relaxed when it was discovered that Lala had just swung her arm to form the contact.

Wait, when did they move so close together? Their feet were practically half an inch away from colliding and now Lala was looking down at the space between them with her lips puckered in thought. With a hum the pinkette suddenly took the initiative and wove her fingers within his, feeling the gentle warmth of skin-to-skin contact and nodding appreciatively. She had read that couples held hands as a sign of affection. They were a couple, right? Were two engaged people considered a couple, even though in their case they hadn't done any couple things besides sleep together? Sometimes she hated the fact that for all her knowledge she was still a bit spare on the more basic concepts of life. That was more her younger sister Momo's specialty. But here and now…it felt right.

She giggled when Naruto looked at their conjoined limbs in surprise and then tugged slightly to see how strong her grip was. Even shaking them back and forth didn't dislodge her grasp and neither did full on attempts at removal. Hugs were one thing; he could even say he was growing used to them. And they were used in plenty of occasions besides romance. Lala wrapping herself around his arm? A bit more intimate especially when said appendage was tucked safely in between her cleavage. But this? This was like _super duper_ cherished relationship stuff, particularly since he knew what was going through the girl's mind and it wasn't anything on the merely innocent friend side. Regular friends did this sometimes, as did girls spending time with other girls. Guys didn't hold hands if they weren't considered children anymore! It wasn't…it just wasn't manly! If a male was embracing someone's hand, then it was either with a family member (which these two weren't…at least, not yet) or with their significant other.

Whoa boy.

Lala appeared content though and with a small sigh he eventually gave her hand a light squeeze. It seemed that was the go-ahead sign for the off-worlder because she suddenly chirped in approval and began to drag him away. Damn her extraterrestrial strength…the soles of his shoes were going to get worn out. She took it all in stride though and before long the two were running back down the streets with their hands still interlocked while uncaring of the looks their blurred forms were receiving. They were both excited for what was coming, dammit. It wasn't like they'd be identified anyways at that speed.

The door was thrown open and Naruto rushed up the stairs with the intent to change into his gear after Lala finally unglued her hand from his. Her own bag (considerably lighter now) had been downstairs for some time now and she simply picked it up and threw it over her shoulder. "The princess is home…so it's easy to say that the brat is here as well." The girl nodded as she stood and turned, unsurprised as Jiraiya walked into the room with his every step causing a clacking noise. What did catch her off guard though was his own change in attire.

His hair was still extremely long and the lines still bled down his cheeks but there was now a headband across his forehead, a bit wider than Naruto's with small horns and the kanji for oil inscribed upon it. The sage now had on a green kimono shirt with matching pants and underneath that was a mesh armor that was a bit longer and peeked out past his sleeves and leg cuffs. The ensemble ended with hand guards, a black belt, wooden sandals, a red cloak-vest with two small yellow circles, and a large scroll strapped across his back. Compared with the casual items he usually wore, the aura Jiraiya gave off now actually seemed…professional.

The fast staccato of feet tearing down the staircase quickly revealed Naruto decked out in his own shinobi outfit, raring to go and looking to start bouncing off the walls. Despite him technically being dressed to go on dangerous missions and the like, the princess thought he looked more like an overactive child getting ready to head out for a day of fun. "Hey, hey! We ready to go yet? I wanna get this started!"

"I'm prepared," Jiraiya smirked, clearly coming to the same conclusion as Lala. "And it looks like your wife is ready too. I'll summon Pa seeing as you'll need all the energy you can get." The wide grin on Naruto's face morphed into somewhat of a scowl when his sensei called the extraterrestrial his wife. That wasn't right. They weren't even married yet and there still was the off chance she would call it off. The jinchuriki didn't know what to think about that, really. Hell, he still didn't know about what he felt towards Lala. Things had been…rather nice as of late. While the girl had taken some strides to make them grow emotionally and physically closer, he had positively reacted to her attempts likely because there were no repercussions for acting back. Plus he didn't like seeing her mood as anything but happy…

But right now that train of thought was best saved for later.

As Fukasaku appeared in an all too familiar puff of smoke, elation coursed through the blond's chest at the upcoming prospect of what was to come. Senjutsu. Sage arts. Jiraiya was considered a sage and the man was crazy powerful. While they hadn't actually explained what he'd be able to do with sage powers the boy figured it would make him super powerful as well. All the better to knock some sense back into Sasuke, bring the bastard home, and finish his promise to Sakura. Then maybe he could actually figure out what to do with his life…once the whole mess with Akatsuki was cleaned up also.

But those problems were back in the Elemental Nations, not here in Japan.

At least it was somewhat of a reprieve.

"So how do we get there?"

"It's far. From Konoha it'd take ya all about a month on foot. It's also called the mountain o' wanderin' and if ya don' know where the secret route is it's dern impossible to find."

"You mean we have to take that stupid boat ride back just to spend even more time traveling? I thought this wouldn't take so long?" The elder toad just croaked in laughter at the boy's incredulous look before grinning and wagging a thin finger.

"Naruto-chan…ya've already made a pact with us toads. There's no need ta worry about a thing! Lala-chan, hold on tight to yer fiancé for this next part. Don't worry about what comes after." Said girl followed the instructions without a second thought, fitting her body against Naruto's as her bag still hung over her shoulder. As Jiraiya leered at the boy for getting to snuggle, Naruto simply remained confused despite the lush female form attached to his front.

"Wait, what do you mean don't worry?" His response was Pa simply holding up one hand in the half ram seal before the duo disappeared in a plume of summoning smoke. Jiraiya let loose a small bark of laughter as the amphibian nodded in approval.

"Oh man…nice job on making him freak out before using the reverse kuchiyose. That was brilliant."

"Ah figured ah'd start things off with a bit o' fun. Lord knows how many times I'll have ta hit him with my cane just to fix his mistakes and it'll be anythin' but fun...at least fer him."

"I'm pretty sure I _still_ have the damn welts on my head from both you and Ma."

"Suck it up, ya pansy. It's time ta go." This time it was Jiraiya's turn to disappear in the technique's signature chakra-laced obscurant. Now alone, the intelligent animal took a moment to reflect on what was to come and chuckled to himself. Things were going to get hectic but obviously it was for the greater good. These…Akatsuki fellers were chasing after those who were like Naruto and he'd need all the power he could get to compensate. Bah, he was thinking too much. Once again forming the hand seal, Pa's vision was immediately filled with clouds as a pressure bore down on every inch of his body. It lasted only a second as the sculpted living room from before gave way to the lush environment he called home.

Lily pads, toads, and rocky outcroppings ranging from typical sizes to those that towered over all others filled the area. As the old toad popped into view, Naruto had already taken to looking at the area in shock as Lala spun around in amazement. It was like they had been transported to a prehistoric swamp when in fact it was merely Mt. Myouboku, the realm of the toads. Simply amazing.

"Naruto!"

"W-what?"

"I summoned you." Gamakichi said with a grin and a wave as the boy suddenly noticed his friend was _right there_. The shock at the sudden kuchiyose had disoriented him somewhat and the sights, sounds, and smells of his newest training ground had overridden everything else. As the large toad lifted his hands from their place against the ground, the blond stopped to look at his own digits with a minor grin of his own.

"Oh! Hehe…I get it. So that's what happened." So the toads could reverse summon him? That made sense since the contract called for full compliance with each other. From what he guessed, as his toad friend/familiar initiated the technique, the swift tug at his chakra flow must have been the warning that someone was calling for him. Because it was the first time experiencing such a sensation he had no time to actively react and was pulled away before he could do anything. And here they were. It was…pretty cool, actually. Lala seemed to mirror his sentiments as she was already leaping around and speaking with the lounging amphibians in greeting.

Naruto crouched down to look at one of the local plants as Fukasaku hopped over to his side, cloak encompassing his small body as he came to a stop. "Beautiful, ain't it? Even in muh many years o' livin', I still can freely say I never tire o' the sight…Myoubokuzan, the realm fer all toad summons."

"Yeah…I can't wait to explore this place!"

"There'll be time fer that later!" Fukasaku laughed lightly before taking one perfect leap and landing on Jiraiya's shoulder. "First, let's all get somethin' ta eat! I trust you remember the way, Jiraiya-chan?"

"It hasn't been that long…" the man mumbled to himself before prepping up. "Grab your girly, brat. You don't want to keep Ma waiting, especially if she's been cooking the whole time." With a slight nod the jinchuriki called her back over and the group proceeded onward towards what they came to label as Fukasaku and Shima's home. It was a small hut composed of earth with a cute little chimney belching out smoke at a slow pace. However, to get inside the humans had to duck down through their small doorway just to keep their heads from banging against the opening. It was even worse for Jiraiya and his over six foot frame. But despite the compact look from the outside, the inside was actually rather spacious and held items that were large enough for humans to interact with comfortably.

"Welcome, welcome! Ah'm so glad you lot have finally showed up! Come in an' sit down! Dinner'll be ready in just a pinch! Lala-chan, wouldja mind helpin' this old toad with settin' everythin' out?" Shima stood in front of a small stove with lots of pots and pans laid out, an appropriately sized apron tied around her own cloak and body. Whatever was boiling in the pot smelled…odd but the pervert looked to have a wistful, remembering smile on his face as the scents tingled their sense of smell.

"'kay!" The bubbly alien chirped before skipping over to the toad's side as the men took a seat at the round table. Plates and silverware (actually, they were carved from wood) were set out and Ma began doling out her fruits of labor to the waiting parties. God, Naruto wished there was at least some fruit as he came to realize exactly what the animal had been working on. Every single meal was some sort of roasted or steamed insect. Why didn't he see this coming? They were **toads**! Toads ate bugs! His 'soup' had large, intact pieces of cricket sticking out of the wooden bowl or broth and there were earthworms and dragonflies covered in some sort of glaze set out on large leaf plates. Everyone _but_ Naruto immediately dug in to their food, even Lala who seemed to have no qualms about eating the cooked creepy-crawlies. Jiraiya had obviously done this before seeing as he too went through the training Naruto was soon to start and likely ate there on occasion after he had finished practicing senjutsu. Ma and Pa ate insects their whole lives too so that was no big shocker.

He _never_ thought he'd see the day but for once in his life Naruto felt like he was the only normal one around.

It wasn't that great of a feeling, actually.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"O-ooooh…"

"This ain't no time ta feel queasy! It's time ta begin yer trainin'!"

"O-okay…" Even though the bugs were dead…Naruto could swear he felt things wiggling around in his stomach. And from what he learned from Jiraiya it was not a one-time thing. After choking down the meal for energy and chakra he would need for that day, the blond found himself higher up in the mountainous swamp along with Jiraiya, Fukasaku, and Gamakichi. Shima had asked Lala to stay behind so the duo could have some girl time together. After all if she was marrying Naruto then she'd be in contact with them much more than before. The Kyuubi container himself was crouched down and resting on the balls of his feet as he did his best to keep any and all bile from escaping past his lips.

The area chosen for Naruto's senjutsu training had the group standing near a small waterfall that gushed brownish, slightly unpleasant smelling liquid into a small, pond-like reservoir. A stone toad statue stood in the center of the 'water' with a lily pad in its hands as the same sort of fluid spat out of its open mouth in a steady yet weak stream. Surrounding the whole area were rows upon rows of similar stone toads of varying sizes, each looking as if they were in a meditative state. The human toad sage looked around fondly with his arms crossed as his apprentice finally hobbled to his feet to hear what the green elder had to say.

It felt like he was years younger ready to start his own sage training.

Ah…the memories…

"Alright. Now ah'm about to explain the difference between ninja techniques and sage techniques. Ah know we never actually told ya what exactly it all entailed so ah expect ya to pay attention." Ha! That's even close to how Pa had started the lecture back when he was a younger ninja! The elder seemed to have the same train of thought because a ghost of a smirk flashed across his dry lips before vanishing.

"Sage techniques?"

"That's right! As ya know, ninjutsu and the like use the energy from within yer own body…but senjutsu uses the energy _surroundin'_ you." Pa explained while flaring his arms wide. A head swiveled as Naruto looked around, trying to see this so-called energy that was supposedly around him. No such luck. Everything still looked swampy.

"What do you mean?"

"Ninja techniques use chakra born o' spiritual energy and physical energy that mix together inside yer body, but sage techniques also add the natural energy from nature ta form a new, stronger chakra."

"Think of it as a crazy power boost that can make even _your_ crappy genjutsu into something amazing and your physical attacks will increase drastically." Jiraiya added, getting a nod from Pa.

"Right. Add physical, spiritual, and natural chakra together and ya get sage chakra and sage techniques." Despite the non-difficult explanation, Naruto still felt a small inkling of misunderstanding. So he grabbed parts of nature and took their energy like a leech? How'd that work really? And even though his chakra control was better than it used to be wouldn't adding this into the mix just screw that up more? It sounded great in theory but he still didn't see the positives like they did.

"It's like how ice cream gets better when you add mint to a chocolate and vanilla swirl." Fukasaku quickly admonished the younger orange toad for his silly clarification but when the boy's face lit up in understanding. Fukasaku had no idea why the blond recognized such a simple and…stupid reasoning.

"So what's natural chakra anyways?"

"The energy o' the earth and atmosphere that flows around us."

"…uh, 'kay."

"He means the air and ground."

"Oh…yeah, I get it now." The small summon looked towards his former student, who was cringing into his palm at the apparent stupidity Naruto was displaying despite doing fine in school, and sighed before moving over to one of the figurines that was at least eight feet taller than the young ninja.

"Explanations ain't gonna work it seems, so how about I show ya instead?" The toad remained still for a few moments but both Jiraiya and Gamakichi expressed how quickly the animal was summoning nature chakra to himself. Naruto saw absolutely nothing. He _did_ see when the diminutive toad clearly lifted the massive statue above his head which the shinobi would have never believed except by viewing with his own two eyes. Hell, even though Fukasaku was shaking a bit from the strain he was still holding it up with one thin-fingered hand! It felt like the whole mountain shook when the item was dropped back into its spot on the ground.

"Holy crap! I, I couldn't even tell what you did to lift that thing!"

"A 'course…" The toad continued to puff and wheeze as the sweat dripped freely down his normally dry skin. Even with sage chakra to fuel and enhance his strength, Pa was still in an advanced age. Just because he could still provide an example didn't mean it would pretty much drain all of his reserves once he released it all. "Ya can't feel natural energy yet, so…it's impossible fer…ya ta use and see it…"

"So how do I do it then?"

"…become one with nature."

Naruto only cocked his head to the side, wondering if the toad was even going to elaborate or instead try to make him figure it out on his own. "Huh? But how do I do that?" Thankfully, Gamakichi came to his aid. It was…not something Naruto wished to hear though.

"Easy. You have to die."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"And then a mean old alien named Ghi Bree showed up and kidnapped our friends! He even tried to blackmail Naruto into not marrying me or else he'd keep Risa, Mio, and Haruna but instead he just beat him up and saved them all!" Lala pumped a fist in appreciation before dunking her hand back under the water while scrubbing the soap over the bowls floating in the sink. After dinner had ended and the girls stayed behind while the men went out to train, the old female asked for Lala's help as well as wondering just how the two had come to meet and become engaged. After all Naruto was a part of their clan now and Shima had to make sure Lala was worthy of her newest 'tadpole'.

The pinkette told her everything.

At first Ma didn't believe there was an alien in her midst but the prehensile tail and strange talking puppet with a consciousness of its own _and_ able to change from mini-person form into any clothing Lala wanted, the female animal was hard pressed to not finally relent. So there really were extraterrestrials out there and they were far more advanced than anything on Earth…who'd a thunk it?

It started off as Lala merely trying to escape an injustice by her father which quickly morphed into something more once she learned about the boy she had literally dropped in on. He was against the girl wanting to marry him and still seemed to hold an opinion of how it probably wouldn't work. But according to Lala she seemed to have been slowly but surely chipping through his judgment despite the fact he was essentially still in love with a girl that looked just like the alien princess. Plus he had to fight off any of her other candidates even though only one had shown up so far (actually two but no one else knew that). Now, Shima still didn't know the boy personally yet except for what she had heard from Jiraiya, but she found it very endearing and straightforward when he flat out told Lala the truth about himself and his feelings. He sounded like quite the keeper and his status as a jinchuriki sadly meant he needed all the love he could find. Lala expressed she would happily be the one to provide it all.

But then she brought up the others…like this Risa. Lala apparently had no problem with the fact that the other girl seemed to hold some sort of affection towards her fiancé. She even admitted that there was also the fact that if anything happened between those two then her friend would be around all the time and she'd have both Naruto _and_ Risa to be a part of her family! Polygamy didn't seem to be that big of a problem out in space compared to down there on Earth though Lala wavered a bit at the end. To Shima it sounded simply like that stupid CRA clan law where the last male of a clan would be forced to marry a bunch of women to repopulate their numbers. She had the feeling that someone who was emotionally repressed (yet doing much, much better than when he was smaller) like Naruto wouldn't ever go for such a thing. The pinkette admitted that she did feel jealous at the fact Naruto had eyes for another girl but figured it would work itself out in the end.

"And then, hee hee, we bumped into each other and our hands touched so I figured 'why not?' and held his hand. It was funny 'cause he tried to escape but then he gave my hand a squeeze and we went back home."

"**Lala-sama was very excited that he reciprocated her gesture. But other than that, not much else happened until we all arrived here for Naruto-dono to begin his training.**" …Shima believed she'd never get used to hearing a voice coming out of the girl's hairclip. Lala had no problem with it though and nodded along happily, stacking the dishes on the drying rack and wiping her hands on the towel. The slight pinkening of her cheeks proved to Ma that there was more than just humor in the inventor's mind as they moved over to the table and sat down for a cup of tea.

"…ya really like him, don't ya?" She nodded without a second thought. "That's good ta hear. After hearin' about the other pink-haired lass in his life from Jiraiya-chan ah was worried he'd have trouble in his love life. Now I feel like ah don' have anythin' to be concerned about at the moment." Lala merely giggled and looked down at her tea, blushing yet again though this time in minor embarrassment from the woman's compliment.

"I wonder if my family would like him as much as I do? Papa's at least shown interest in him…but I wonder what my sisters would think." Siblings?...well, that actually wasn't surprising. She was supposedly a princess and royal families always had at least more than one child. "Yup! My younger sister's Momo and Nana. They're twins. They're 12 but their birthdays should be coming up soon…I'll have to send Zastin back home with their presents." The girl suddenly trailed off upon realizing two things. One, they had completely forgotten to tell the Devilukan swordsman about their plans. And two, her own birthday was right around the corner. Wow…time was just flying by.

"Somethin' the matter, dear?"

"Oh, no…I just remembered my own birthday is next week." Shima suddenly squealed happily and clapped the pads of her hands together.

"Gracious! We'll have ta have a party then! Whatcha think Naruto-chan got for ya?" Her answer came as a one-shouldered shrug.

"I never told him when it was…I don't know when his is either. Do you…think he doesn't want me to know?" she mentioned, a bit saddened at how she still didn't know everything about the boy. It actually caused a cloud of dark emotion to begin buzzing around her head that the other female present could literally feel charging the air. Lala never saw the toad move. She never saw the stick of sturdy wood flash into her hand. And despite the fact Lala was a superhuman compared to the regular Earthlings (not ninjas), she never knew what was coming until the club had already slammed into the back of her head. Even it being a much lighter tap compared to the one's she'd give Jiraiya or even Naruto when she knew it would inevitably come up, the girl still cried out as Peke gasped in shock.

"Ouchie!" All she could do was hold the stinging welt situated on her skull, tears glistening brightly in her eyes as she stared in undeserving betrayal at the smirking creature. The summon just scoffed and tapped her staff against her shoulder, shaking her head at the girl in spite of the dejection on her face.

"Don' even be thinkin' things like that! From what I've gathered, Naruto-chan's never really had a good birthday in his life except fer the last few years. Ta tell ya the truth, he likely didn' tell ya because it's not that important of a date ta him. But…I think if ya showed him how great a birthday can be…ya might even make him care for ya more by showin' him that somebody else wants him ta have a nice birthday!"

"Yeah!" She agreed happily while suddenly forgetting about the bump still shining on top of her head. They felt the ground shake suddenly but the only one who seemed genuinely concerned by the earthquake was Lala. "Ah! The ground's shaking! That's bad, right?"

"Don' worry…that's just Pa showin' Naruto-chan an example o' senjutsu."

Oh wow…Naruto was going to get really strong, huh? Booms like that mean something major was going on. The stronger he became meant it was more likely the King of Deviluke would grow to like him even more because he'd be strong and able to protect everyone and all that! It also meant that the blond would be seen as even worthier to marry Lala and take the crown when the time finally rolled around for the monarch to step down and let them marry!

…AWESOME!

With a wide smile on her face, Lala took a drink of her tea while softly rubbing the pain away. She simply could not wait for that wonderful day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tsunade actually felt nervous. That was an emotion barely felt in her chest since she had first taken this job nearly three years ago. High-strung fury, smug satisfaction, and unmitigated boredom…now that was what usually constituted most of her day. But today, with what she knew was to come…well, it was forming one hell of a headache.

Luckily she had bottles of booze stocked away to help fight the pounding soon to be taking place in between her ears.

Sakura had blabbed. She should have seen it coming. The leader knew she wouldn't have been able to keep the fact that her _idiotic_ teammate had snagged up a cutie and was set to marry her. But the initial shock had pretty much numbed the Godaime to reason and the pinkette was gone before she could tell her apprentice to keep her mouth shut. Also, Jiraiya never did actually say anything about keeping it a secret…so the girl wasn't punished _too_ badly; a month of being stuck with the crappiest jobs at the hospital with much emphasis on the word crap. The girl was downright murderous after checking out every night but understood the reasons as to why she was dropped into the jobs no one wanted. Despite not having actually been told to keep the information on the down-low, the boy's 'marriage' was still quite the shocker and many would see it as something to interfere with.

The damage was done though and more than half of the village now knew the resident prankster was set to walk down the aisle with a girl not from the Land of Fire. It started out small, being spread to Sakura's friends and teammates, but that immediately snowballed. Who she was, what she did, where she came from, and what she looked like was luckily still an unknown. Naruto had enough problems already thanks to his fuzzy stigma and didn't need some sort of mob after him to 'save the fair maiden whose heart he had corrupted' or some other stupid shit they could think of. Good on him for finding love…Tsunade was happy for the boy but when the two finally met, this Lala girl was going to get a strict talking to. After all, the woman had to make sure her surrogate sibling had someone who wouldn't be leading him on. She had to learn more about her anyways. Jiraiya's letter left everything out besides her looks and that she was engaged to the last Uzumaki.

But now…she had a meeting with the former rookies and those considered 'close' to Naruto Uzumaki. Shizune and Iruka were already there as were the two ramen chefs the boy saw as a part of his family. Her first student and the female named Ayame were making small talk on her new couch as the chunin instructor spoke with the one named Teuchi. The two saw each other plenty since the scarred ninja stopped by all the time for a bowl of ramen so there was no surprise there.

"It's really true then? I know I've been hearing it all over town but I figured I'd like to hear it directly from someone who knows the truth." Iruka asked aloud to the room though it was directed towards the busty blonde. Said woman merely nodded and checked her action of reaching into her desk for a familiar bottle. The mutterings all over town was how the demon had found himself a girl. While confusing the younger generation, those who knew about Kyuubi understood perfectly. "Huh…I don't know whether to say he's lucky or feel like he's still too young."

"I think it's nice. Naruto needs some helpful feminine persuasion in his life for once." Teuchi chuckled before immediately shutting up from the combined glare of all three women in the room. Clearing his throat, the older man turned and took to looking back out the refurbished window. It didn't change his opinion though…

**KNOCK KNOCK**

Tsunade sat up a little straighter at the noise and folded her hands in front of her chin. "Showtime." she mumbled, causing a small grin to appear on Shizune's face. "Come in!" At her request, the former rookies from Naruto's graduating class filed in alongside their teachers. The mild nervousness in her chest elevated slightly upon seeing the Hyuuga heiress standing at attention in front of her desk, knowing just how crazy a woman in love could be when the man she had fallen for was in jeopardy of being lost. At the moment her pale-colored eyes were somewhat unreadable and that's what had the female Hokage ready to act if needed.

All she had to do was explain Naruto was truly getting married and that his…girlfriend…was not to be treated as anything hostile. Ino was the main reason the villagers became aware…damn her and her need to gossip. This was to set them straight so they wouldn't be conned into believing anything a spiteful civilian said while they were out on the town. It shouldn't be too hard…

Right?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Everyone is assembled? Very well…let us begin._" A shadowy figure with a spiky hair outline and grayish-purple eyes rimmed with concentric black circles looked around the cave where eight other hologram-styled projections stood in wait. It had been some time since they all last had a meeting. After all, despite being in the same organization, the nine S-ranked shinobi all had their own separate jobs and territories to watch.

"_What the hell! I was ready to slaughter a bunch of these fucking assholes that got in my way when you suddenly send out the call to meet?_" One of the ninja projections looked around with a wild look in its eyes, the large copy of a three-bladed scythe in its hands twitching in anger and anticipation. A few of the others scoffed or twitched at its blatant interruption but it was the rather tall silhouette at the person's side that openly mocked the foul-mouthed one. The red sclera and green irises it possessed were narrowed in annoyance as they glared at the idiot next to it.

"_Hidan…shut up._"

"_The fuck you just say?_"

"_Both of you be silent._" Though it was spoken at an even tone, the newly named Hidan and the other speaker immediately stopped talking. The aura of irritation still permeated the air but was ultimately ignored as the apparent leader decided to continue on with the briefing. "_Now then…as you all know, our three-year grace period is nearing its end. We have spent this time amassing money, information, resources, and sympathizers to our cause. The levels have varied but thanks to the additions we can now begin with the true phase of what Akatsuki was created for…the collection and enslavement of the nine separate tailed-beasts._"

Of course they knew that. When the 'Daybreak' had first recruited the lot of them they were immediately told what the group's main objective was. All of them were missing ninja anyways and didn't mind sticking it to their former homes; abducting the jinchuriki and biju associated with the different ninja villages sounded like a great way to piss them off. What did they have to lose? Besides, the leader of Akatsuki, this 'Pein' fellow, allowed them to continue on with their personal activities as long as they responded when needed.

"_So you're saying we can finally go out and find our marks?_" The second tallest profile asked as it readjusted the large object on its back. The question was answered with a nod causing the silhouette to grin widely and show off its pointed, shark-like fangs. "_I can't wait…_"

"_With the demons in our possession, the lot of us will use their power to control the separate shinobi villages and bring about peace to this violent and bloody world. Deploy a biju and swoop in to quell the beast. They will come to see us as their saviors. All will be in fear that we may unleash one of the beasts to attack their homes, and with it we can finally bring about a revolution! Now, I have your newest orders: Sasori, Deidara…you are to head to Sunagakure to gather intelligence on the Ichibi container. You will, however, not attempt to apprehend until you learn as much as you can about his strengths and weaknesses. Hidan, Kakuzu: your target is the Nibi no Nekomata in Kumogakure. The same is to be said for you as well. You can also give thanks to Zetsu for discovering your target's location._"

The tall one (Kakuzu), the scythe-holder (Hidan), a shorter one with a high ponytail and long fringe (Deidara), and a stubby one with a hunched over body (Sasori) all nodded though they seemed a bit put off at the prospect of having to wait longer before finally taking their targets. The one labeled as Zetsu had a large, venus flytrap-like growth on its upper body and merely stood there in silence alongside the rest of the members. The astral projection of Pein nodded before turning once again to stare at the one with the object on its back as well as the shorter, thinner shadow at its side. They could grumble and whine all they wanted but many great battles had been won with a simple piece of information that helped to turn the tide of battle. Strength wasn't everything, but still a major factor.

"_Itachi, Kisame…any news on where the Kyuubi has disappeared to?_"

"_No._" Itachi replied unemotionally. "_He, along with Jiraiya of the Sannin, was last seen boarding a boat at the edge of the continent that was known to make trips towards the lands far from the Elemental Nations. We would have given chase but it is unknown how far the distance is and I did not wish to take a chance. We would not have been able to call for reinforcements if the situation soured and our projections would likely have been out of range to report our findings. However that does not mean Naruto Uzumaki is lost to us. From what we could gather, Jiraiya promised the newest Hokage they would be back in three years and that time limit has neared its end. I believe the sannin learned of our…break, and wished to coincide the child's training with our lack of action. They should be returning in the coming months._"

"_I see. Then you shall continue creating contingencies and ideas for kidnapping this Uzumaki jinchuriki and gathering enough information to not fail in your endeavors._" Itachi merely bowed his head as Kisame grunted in affirmation. "_Lastly…Zetsu. Continue with your surveillance of the tailed-beasts that are not being stalked by the others. Are there any questions?_" No one did. All had been explained well enough. With a final sentence on their success, the different members winked out of existence as they ended the technique that allowed them to send their spirits and consciousness across vast distances.

Pein sighed once as he cut off the flow off energy before blinking his purplish eyes open and unhooking his hands from the ram seal. Next to him stood a beautiful woman with blue hair hanging down past her chin with a paper flower nestled in a bunch of locks on the right side of her head. Her amber eyes with bluish eye-shadow were rather serious, and she had a piercing in her pale skin just underneath her lips. Like the other members of Akatsuki, she wore a long black cloak with red clouds and a high collar, a ring though this one was placed upon her right middle finger, tight blue pants, and blue boots with white high heels. Her name was Konan and she had been the boss' partner for longer than any of the other members had even been in their organization.

"Nagato…what are our plans?" she asked neutrally. Despite being called by a different name, he decided to answer her anyways.

"We? We shall continue influencing those who live here and showing them that by following God, they will become the greatest hidden village compared to all others. Though their blood may be shed and lives lost in the long run, it will all be towards a good cause…bringing about world peace and the domination of all." With conviction in his movements the man walked over towards the nearby window being continuously pelted by the region's never-ending rain. Placing a hand on the glass he took a moment to look over his own reflection. Orange, spiky hair, eccentric purple eyes, pale skin with a multitude of black piercings in his body parts both clothed and hidden, ring on his right thumb, high-collared Akatsuki cloak, dark pants, and black shinobi sandals with white leg warmers. And yet...this was not his true body. Only that of someone that once meant a lot to this Nagato/Pein character from the person's past.

"I see…"

"Amegakure is only the beginning, Konan." At his words five other people walked into the room and took their places in line next to the stoic ruler. All eerily bore the same orange-tinted hair, body piercings, and violet-rimmed eyes despite the fact none of them looked related. All six radiated an ethereal power that had been used to bring the rain ninjas under their control. The fact he defeated the former dictator Hanzo added to his already mysterious influence and Konan couldn't help but agree that they were an intimidating team. What she didn't agree with was how he wanted to change the world. Stopping violence by causing more? Wasn't that hypocrisy, plain and simple? But she would do as he asked of her, for as long as she continued to draw breath.

"Yes…it is only the beginning."

The beginning of something great.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello? Naruto-dono? Lala-sama?...Jiraiya-san?...anyone?" Zastin continued knocking on the front door of the house with his armored gauntlet. The Devilukan male had stopped by to check up on the princess but had run into a problem. No one was there. The older man was usually always home or left behind one of those 'clones' to greet people or send them on their way. This was the first time it seemed deserted. How odd. Did they move? Or go on a trip? Surely Lala-sama would have told him of their plans. "Perhaps there is an open window...I could leave a note to let them know I stopped by...yes, that could work."

He began to circle the house, rattling the square pieces of glass to see if any were loose but sadly his luck wasn't holding up. None were unlocked. Should he just return to the ship and try back another day? Ah wait! Wasn't the daughter of his king away on some sort of trip sanctioned by the school she was attending? Of course! That's _exactly_ where Lala was. No doubt about it. But he was already here and it wouldn't hurt to let the others know of his visit. And here was the final ground-level window. The man shook it with minor force (he didn't want to rip it out with a good section of the wall, after all) but the hinges remained stationary. Oh well...no harm done really.

"Hey, you!" Zastin twisted in surprise upon hearing the voice. There was a man standing down the way at the house's gate wearing a blue uniform and looking rather put-off. Wasn't that one of the Earth's law enforcement personnel? Why was he talking to him? Was there a problem? "What do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to get inside." he answered truthfully. The problem was it seemed to piss the cop off more than he thought it would.

"Hey, I remember you! You're that man whose been terrorizing the neighborhood lately!" Terrorizing? How dare he! He only tried to ask a woman for directions but she became terrified of his stature and appearance...okay, maybe it didn't help that he had his bastard sword in his hand as he stalked towards her. But still, how rude. "You're coming with me back to the station for questioning, buddy!"

Oh crap, he couldn't be caught! What would Lala-sama or the king think if one of their major soldiers were arrested? Taking no chances he turned and leapt over the iron fence surrounding the place and began to run despite the shouts and calls for backup echoing through the air. The only way this day would be any worse was if that annoying canine from the neighborhood showed up and bit him on the leg!

**CHOMP**

...maybe he spoke too soon. Zastin couldn't help but believe the dog had some sort of homing beacon placed somewhere on his person.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Omake: Rito's Love Trials pt. 2**

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god! How was this possible? More likely, why did fate have to be so cruel? Ohhhhhhhh he didn't think his face could get any darker than it was. Either that or he was going to pass out from the amount of blood _not_ coursing through his body and organs. Why did she have to show up…here? Why couldn't he and Naruto have waited outside while Mikan assisted Lala in her search for articles of clothing? Now Haruna was…she was going to think he was some sort of pervert!

And why was Naruto so calm in this situation?

When he saw the dark-haired girl standing there with a pair of panties in her hand, staring at the two boys in silent shock, Rito thought his heart was going to simply explode from the sheer astonishment of the situation. And what did his blond friend do? The crazy fool smiled and waved like it was no big deal! Even his sister had run off to buy Lala some clothes to wear (loose red dress, jeans, heeled shoes, and for whatever reason a beaded necklace) while said alien tried on the different lingerie, leaving the two boys alone to essentially guard her in her absence. The next few seconds didn't help the situation either.

"Naruto! I tried this on! How does it look?" The pinkette swiftly tore open the curtain and popped out in a set of matching black-with-white-edged bra and panties. Rito had to swiftly look away less he finally faint from the overload of stress and skin the girl was showing. Naruto just grinned in embarrassment towards his fiancé before the female finally noticed their newest guest and decided to greet her. "Huh? Oh it's you, Haruna."

Rito wanted to die.

Luckily they were able to explain **exactly** what was going on and why the boys were standing inside a women's underwear store. The orange-haired boy finally calmed somewhat as they all walked down the street but he still couldn't believe what was going on. His crush was _right there._ Less than a foot away. He could simply reach out and take her hand if he so wished and…

"Oi. Rito. Snap out of it."

"Gah!" With a racing heart, the flustered boy turned and glared heavily at his friend. "W-w-w-what?"

"The hell is this thing?" Naruto stopped at pointed at one of the claw machines outside of an arcade, confused as to what it was and what it could do. The human finally composed himself enough to think rationally, growing confused himself at the simple question. Naruto really was from a backwater village in rural farmland, wasn't he? Everyone knew what this technology was for…except him. And apparently Lala too. Why were his friends so weird?

"H-here…watch. You put money in, use this to move the claw-" he wiggled the joystick, "-and hope you're able to grab one of the prizes inside. I'll show you." Soon enough, the three-pronged grabber had come alive and darting around the metal casing until it finally descended and enclosed around a small stuffed teddy bear with orange fur. Rito couldn't help but smirk when the fake animal dropped down and fell into the prize area.

"He's just pointlessly good at these useless little things…" Mikan drawled, rolling her eyes at the sight. Her jibe did nothing to dampen the boy's spirits though. He was damn good at it and he knew it. Not even his little sister would ruin the mood. It did, however, bring forth the competitive spirit in the resident ninja.

"My turn!" Twenty seconds later the machine lit up just as it had when Rito caught a reward.

"Huh…there's someone even better than you at the useless things…he beat your time by five seconds, brother."

"It's 'cause I'm just that awesome. Guess I won't win one for you now, little miss smart alec." The younger girl stuck out her tongue as they watched Naruto reach down and pull out his own prize, looking at the odd creation in his hands. It was in the shape of some odd, morbid, gothic bunny with large stitching and bandages. Honestly, the only reason the ninja chose it was because it was sticking out farther compared to the others and it looked to be the easiest to grab.

They all noticed Lala staring at it intently with a finger against her lips, causing the boy to scratch his cheek and eventually come to a decision. Holding his arm out he presented the stuffed animal to his live-in roommate/fiancé/possible stress inducer. The way her eyes lit up a second before she took the object into her arms showed he had just made her a very happy girl. "Thank you, Naruto! I'll make this my treasure!" Rito watched his buddy grow flustered and spared a glance towards Haruna who was smiling sweetly at the cute scene before her. A thought crossed his mind as his vision was inevitably drawn back towards the toy in his own hands. And why was Naruto suddenly clearing his throat so loudly and jerking his head to the side? It was like-

Oh.

But. That. Ugh…Lala was so happy though…would Haruna feel the same way? His heart was beginning to speed up again and he barely hard Naruto's exasperated shout of 'just do it already you wimp!' A nudge in his back caused the male to stumble forward, finding his face only inches from the girl's he cared for before jerking back as though he had been burned. "Um…u-uh…here!" His voice came out in a near squeak. "I hope you like it!"

His eyes were closed so the boy never actually saw the ravenette's own growing blush as she gently took the bear from his fingers, heart escalating in her own chest at the gift. Though it was from the odd urging from Naruto she still couldn't help but feel a warmth blossom at the idea he had chosen her as the recipient.

Her, and no one else.

"Thank you…Yuuki-kun." His breath hitched in his throat as amber eyes slowly opened. Despite the fact she was looking away from him with reddened cheeks, there was a soft smile on her face and her eyes occasionally darted towards the high-schooler. It was just like that time back in the classroom when they were together on cleaning duty. He might have been a guy but even he could tell this was rather romantically tense.

"You're w-welcome!"

His focus still on the girl of his dreams Rito never did notice how the others were acting in the situation. Mikan was watching with a sly glare with a matching smirk as she immediately came to a new conclusion about her brother's social life. Naruto was snickering to himself and yet couldn't help but roll his eyes. Why didn't he just friggin' ask her out already like he told him to countless times before? Maybe if he finally told Mikan his plight she'd get his ass in gear. And Lala?...well, she was much more interested in the gift from her own love, bouncing in her spot as she hugged the toy to her chest tightly, giggling quietly the whole time.

After that it seemed like things moved at a blurred pace until Rito realized they were all standing inside of the city's aquarium. Vertebrae quickly twisted left and right as he spun around to look at where they were, not believing he had spaced out so badly after giving Sairenji her present. Lala suddenly ran off like a young child as her excitement grew to incredible levels and was unable to contain it any longer. The male teenager's eyes grew subconsciously when he noticed Naruto suddenly grin way too widely in the dim lights, teeth gleaming in a way that made the Earthling nervous.

A grinning Naruto was _never_ a good thing. Especially when he was rubbing his hands together menacingly. No…no, stop that. Don't chuckle. Hey! No! Don't suddenly throw Mikan over your shoulder and say you're going to go after Lala! Yes Mikan, keep protesting his actions and-hey! No, don't whisper to her and make her match your grin! You bastard! Don't!...don't leave…because now the group was down to two…

Him.

And Haruna.

A few beads of sweat escaped down his face as his shaking hand continued to reach out towards the people who were obviously no longer there. Haruna was looking towards the ground with a slight reddening in her cheeks, hands slowly petting the faux fur of her gift. Rito laughed awkwardly and rubbed his head to try and save face but the action wasn't as powerful as he thought.

"Ha ha…ha…sorry, they're really selfish sometimes…" The boy couldn't help but continue freaking out in his mind. '_Oh cripes it's even more awkward than the beginning of when we had to clean up! Conversation! Conversation! I need to say something else! Why can't we have the calming atmosphere like the last time?_' He tried to express that they should move over to the other side, but as he woodenly tried to walk away there was a small snag at his cloth-covered elbow. Joints instantly locked as Rito realized it was the only other remaining member of their group who had done such a thing. He could barely find the strength to turn his head, noticing Haruna's eyes were shadowed by her hair as her dainty fingers continued their hold on his clothing. What could she want? She sort of looked angry.

Did he do something wrong?

A gasp escaped her lungs as she realized what she was still doing, violet eyes appearing in shock as she finally released him and backed away. She was holding her arms up rather defensively…did she think he was going to grow angry at the former action? Preposterous! She could hold onto his sleeve for however long she wanted! "I…I'm sorry! I just…with the others gone for the moment, there was something I wanted really wanted to say to you…"

"Eh?"

"I-I mean, about the other day…um, when we were on cleaning duty? I've been meaning to say that I rather enjoyed our time together then…" W-what? Did she really just say that? "I didn't really get to express it before but it was actually fun, despite being about fixing up the classroom. And today, although we met under…strange circumstances, it's been entertaining to have spent time with you all. And this nice present? So really, just…thank you, Yuuki-kun." The gentle smile and slightly flushed cheeks she was sporting as she gave the minor confession nearly caused Rito to break down into crying. It was beautiful. There truly was a heaven on earth, and it was standing right in front of him.

Plus there was no way she could _not_ notice the sudden immense blush exploding upon his features. Inhaling deeply, the boy came to a decision. Now truly was the perfect time. His meddling friends and family had given the poor sap this opportunity and if he wussed out now there was no way he could ever call himself a man again. Nothing would get in the way this time. No errant distractions, no sudden intrusions, no Lala appearing as he tried shouted his love.

Nothing!

"H-hey, Sairenji…what…do you think about me?" The drooping of her eyes and loss of her smile was not the positive signs Rito was looking for. Her blush did increase though…perhaps he could still keep his chin held high? Naruto would never let him live it down if he at least didn't try **something **with Haruna.

"I…Yuuki-kun, I…"

**WHACK**

If there was heaven, then it was obvious there would also be a hell. Haruna was his nirvana. Of that there was no doubt. But as a speeding, feathered projectile rocketed into his face and sent him sprawling, Rito knew that a certain pink-haired girl attracted to his friend Naruto was destined to be the never-ending source of his anguish. He was hit by a penguin? Really? How the hell was it flying? THOSE ANIMALS WERE FLIGHTLESS! The moment was lost between himself and his crush…damn it all.

But just like the last time the two hung out…Rito once again felt as if there was some hope on the horizon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Aw yeah, next one done. I gotta say I'm having the most fun with this story. Mmmm…_

_Okay, quick question. Did Nagato ever know he was an Uzumaki? I can't remember and I don't feel like rereading every single Naruto chapter or wiki page just for that obscure piece of information. I know they explained somewhat that he and Karin were Uzumaki as well because of their red hair but I don't think those two knew about their clan. On that note, was Tayuya an Uzumaki? They keep switching her hair between red and pink from what I've seen. Ah well…I'll just say yeah because I think she looks better with the bright red…I like redheads…_

_Recently I was told that chakra is a mix of physical and **mental** energies. Wasn't that in the beginning of the series when Sakura explained the concept? I'm pretty sure that was just a translation error because the wiki said it was spiritual, not mental. I'm glad on that because the explanations I had in the upcoming Expelled From Glory chapter would have been hard-pressed to rewrite. Shinigami don't use mental energy! Thank god..._

_More plot development! Keep on reading to see more! I'm out!_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 6:

"What in the hell do you mean I have to die?" Naruto yelled; body hunched over in disbelief as he stared down his toad familiar.

"GAMAKICHI! That was totally unnecessary!" The orange toad shrank slightly under the intense gaze of his elder before breathing a sigh of relief when those golden eyes were once again trained upon Naruto. It wasn't like he was lying or anything…if his blond buddy screwed things up, he'd die just as quickly as any other deathblow. Natural chakra wasn't something you messed with willy-nilly.

"Naruto, stop acting stupid. I know you like super simple solutions but this isn't the time to act like you're mentally handicapped. _Especially _ for this type of training." Jiraiya mentioned, crossing his arms over his wide chest while looking at his student in minor disappointment. The other shinobi grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck at being seen through so easily. Busted…

"Don't worry, Naruto-chan. Ya won' really die. As long as ya listen ta what I say…I'll start from the beginnin'. One needs ta be able ta feel the energy and draw it in first before ya can control where it goes through yer body. So the easiest way to train…is to not move."

Naruto's shock from before had dropped into curiosity as Fukasaku began his speech but instantly dropped into disbelief. Was he serious? That sounded…stupid.

"I'm damn serious and it ain't stupid at all, brat! You can feel natural energy once ya cease all movement like an animal and harmonize with nature!"

"So all I have to do is not move…I can do that. All the training I've already done involved moving around, so this is gonna be way different." The shinobi grinned uncertainly and socked his fist into his palm, taking a look over his shoulder at Gamakichi and Jiraiya. The large toad and tall man just nodded before both focused back on Pa, getting Naruto to do the same. Said amphibian hopped past them all with a few quick shoves of his legs before stopping at the lip of the nearby fountain and turning to regard his audience.

"This will take time…it's pretty dang hard."

"There's no easier way? I mean, if it's tough I don't care but I'd like to get a good grasp of it quickly." Fukasaku remained silent at Naruto's proclamation before closing his eyes in thought. It almost made the toad laugh ironically; he should have known the boy would ask that. They had all summer to train but Naruto _was_ a teenage boy and he had a lovely lass waiting for him back with Ma. Lala seemed fine being here with him but with all of them being busy but her, it was no contest she'd grow bored after some time. Oh well…

Clearing his throat, the lone sannin strolled past his student and slowly walked towards Pa. He knew exactly what was going on in the summon's mind and wholly disagreed with the idea. He had the same mindset as Naruto when he was younger and tried the 'easier way', only to swiftly deny ever trying it again after the first few moments. The feelings his body had been forced through once the training began was extremely unsettling and he almost lost his life in the blink of an eye. If it hadn't been for Fukasaku the man wouldn't have been there now.

"What you see before you is Myoubokuzan's secret oil. It only exists here in this realm's atmosphere and quickly evaporates anywhere else. The smallest amount will do things to your body that speed up any training in the sage arts. But you have to be careful."

"Why?"

"C'mere a sec, Naruto-chan." With a wave of Pa's hand he called the blond over and had him crouch down. Having the boy roll his sleeve back, he dipped a finger within the darkish liquid and placed the wet digit upon his bare skin. "This toad oil draws in natural energy and by rubbin' it on ya, it lets the chakra enter yer body and gradually learn how ta feel fer it. But there's a risk…"

As if on cue with his warning, the right side of Naruto's body shuddered and morphed in an instant. Fingers grew and became webbed, skin grew mottled and dry, and his eye turned golden and the pupil stretched horizontally. A scream of surprise tore from his throat as he looked at his reflection, clutching at his changed appearance. Holy hell, what just happened? "WHAT IS THIS?"

"If ya can't control natural energy, this is the consequence. Ya turn into a toad."

"Now do you see why? Maybe my body was especially weak to it but even the smallest amount of oil nearly changed me completely. There's nothing wrong with taking the longer road to reach your goal if you don't think you can handle it." Jiraiya said, dropping into his serious instructor mode. Naruto was a good kid and he'd be damned if he lost himself doing something that needn't be rushed. They had all of summer break to train. Sure, they said they'd be back to hang out with their other friends but 'situations' might happen that no one planned for. They'd all get over it.

Seeing as the jinchuriki was still screaming, Pa quickly slapped his palms together with a quick surge of chakra. A thick black club appeared in a puff of smoke that was quickly swung to connect with the back of Naruto's head. As he complained about head wounds and the pain he was now in, Naruto suddenly noticed his human, toad-free features. It was perfectly clear. Blemish free. No half-amphibian monstrosity in sight.

"It's all about balance, muh boy. Spiritual, physical, and natural. Can't make sage chakra without 'em harmonizing equally. Too little, there's no sage energy. Too much and ya turn into a toad." At that Fukasaku tilted his head downward and pointed a finger in Naruto's direction. "A little too much and I can jus' knock it back outta ya. But absorb way too much…well, I hope ya can get used to the taste o' bugs."

Naruto only gulped.

"That's what I was talking about when I said you'd die. Die as a human." Gamakichi explained. It literally would be the same as resigning himself to death if he overloaded with the power of nature itself.

"Look at all of the statues, Naruto. Those are the remains of those that lost themselves due to the dangers of taking in too much nature chakra. Can you really throw it all away just to get your training over with quicker?"

The boy looked down, thinking about the severity of his options. He could kill himself in a sense, losing out on his future and life. His goal! Oh, his dreams…would they even allow a non-human to become the Hokage? And what about his friends? Or…Lala? Would she even care? After seeing Ghi Bree, appearance didn't really seem like it mattered much to the Devilukans although she seemed to like the fact that both of their physical makeups were similar. Not only that, but would the King blow up Earth because of his mishap? After his daughter left, of course.

Taking the easy way out would go against his whole lifestyle though. When had he ever just given up when the going got tough? That's what made him Naruto-fucking-Uzumaki! That, and his shiny blond hair, blue eyes, and adorable whiskers (Risa's words, not his). With a snort, he slammed his knuckles into the opposite palm and ground them into the skin. Backing down? Like hell he would! Those present saw the determination in his features and knew he had made up his mind. The two toads grinned and even Jiraiya let loose a smirk. Good, the decision might have been tough but it would have been feeble to watch the boy go against his own morals.

"Bring it on! I don't care how tough or dangerous it is, I'm still gonna do it!"

With a croak, Fukasaku brandished his staff and leveled a smile at the ninja as Jiraiya placed a hand on his shoulder. "That's the spirit! Now take off yer clothes!"

"…eh?"

Jiraiya palmed his forehead and sighed as the boy began to creep away from the elder amphibian. He hoped the inspirational mood wasn't lost with that one comment because, sadly enough, Naruto needed to strip down to his undies to make full use of the toad oil. Hell, the sannin didn't like it when he tried either but it made things a lot easier. "Just get down to your skivvies already. It's not like I want to see your lanky ass naked either but it's necessary to get the oil in your skin."

Oh. That made more sense. But…they keep talking about sage mode and senjutsu and yet he had not seen hide nor hair of this 'amazing' ability. Jiraiya had never shown him what it looked like and the thought had struck him on how he didn't even think to see what it was like after hearing so much about nature chakra and sage abilities. So…it was time for Naruto to fix that.

"Wait, wait wait! Time out!" he crowed, slapping his arms together in front of his body in an 'X' position. "I just had a thought. Ero-sennin knows sage mode and I want to see what it's like first. I learn better when I see it happen or do it myself. Since I can't exactly do it yet, I wanna see an example."

"A kinesthetic/vision learner, eh? Well, ah suppose Jiraiya-chan can enter sage mode real quick-like. What do ya say about that, lad?"

Said shinobi didn't look that pleased to be put on the spot, merely shrugging his broad shoulders in uncertainty. "We'll need Ma for this then…god, I really don't like to pull this out unless I _really, really_ need to. I lose my devilishly handsome good-looks because there's an imperfect balance when I mix the three together. I'll scare the babes away!"

"Don't care. Besides, there are no women here."

With a pout unbecoming of a man of his stature and age, the toad summoner sighed deeply and removed the scroll from his back. Muscles were flexed as he stretched out his neck while Gamakichi hopped off to alert Shima to the newest development. It wouldn't be too long before they returned but Jiraiya hadn't used senjutsu in years. Better get the prep work started in the meantime. Nipping the skin of his wrists he used his finger to paint the fallen blood underneath his eyes, extending the lines already there and making a small 'L' shape that started at the edge of his two orbs and passed over his cheeks towards his ears.

"There's still Lala…" he groused, actually getting a glare from the blond. Ooo, was that some jealousy? Ha! The idiot didn't even seem to realize he was doing it! The elder male would have laughed if this hadn't been such a serious situation. Luckily Ma took that moment to hop into the picture, soon followed by Gamakichi with the pinkette alien riding on his back. As soon as her green eyes locked onto blue, the girl squealed in excitement and launched herself off of the large animal's bumpy back. Naruto had to grunt when Lala impacted against his chest, sending him skidding across the ground as she hugged herself to his chest.

"Hi, Naruto-kun! I missed you! It was fun staying with Ma but I was getting a little bored! When Kichi-kun showed up and said she was needed for a demonstration I wanted to come too~!" The tailed-alien snuggled against him, rubbing her face like a cat as he coughed to get air back into his lungs. Damn she hit hard! Stupid extraterrestrial strength…thank god he was as durable as a thick-skinned...something. His brain was currently too frazzled to think of a good analogy.

"I…I missed…you too, Lala-chan. But…try not to kill me…with your…greetings next time…" Lala hummed and sat up, inadvertently straddling the boy as her dress was forced to ride up her thighs. Perverse giggling reached their ears as Jiraiya eyed them with a creepy grin and analytical eyes that did all they could to preserve the moment for future novel references. That was, until both Ma and Pa jumped and slapped him forcefully in the back of the head which led to his face imprinting itself in the soil. Once that was done, the lone female amphibian cooed at the cute scene before her while standing atop of Jiraiya's twitching head.

"Now ain' that jus' too cute? It's jus' like us when we were younger, Pa!"

"A lot younger is more like it…"

"What was that?" she growled, causing Fukasaku to look away innocently.

"_Get. Off. My. Head._" They could barely hear the mumble as Jiraiya's lips were still stuck within the dirt but the toad gave him one extra stomp for good measure before hopping down. With an oddly misplaced squelch, the sannin pulled his face free and stared at the surrounding life-forms. "If you want to see my sage mode, I suggest you be nicer to me." With a snort, he spit out a clump of sod and slowly returned to his feet.

"Ya will do it regardless! Don't back-sass me, laddie!" Instead of pulling out her club like Naruto believed she would, the female began cracking her knuckles menacingly which actually caused Jiraiya to pale. How could women always be so scary?

"Y-yes, Ma!"

"Good. Now let's get this over with already." As her sentence ended, both older toads moved to stand on Jiraiya's shoulders; Pa on his right and Ma on his left. Both were holding up their hands with their spindly fingers in the ram seal, chakra coursing through their bodies as the anticipated event finally began to unfold. The son of Gamabunta stood at Naruto's side while the boy had pulled up into a sitting position. Lala had slid slowly off of the boy (causing him to shiver) and was now resting on his back, arms around his chest as she continued to hug him while her chin rested on his shoulder with sparkling eyes. All three were watching with rapt attention.

"Senpō: Ryōsei no Jutsu (Sage Art: Amphibian Technique)!"

Both of their feet seemed to meld seamlessly against the cloth and skin underneath and before long Jiraiya's appearance began to change. His spine grew hunched and his nose grew bulbous, a few warts springing up across the skin. His hair grew coarser and a pointed goatee grew upon his chin while the bloody lines on his visage spread to cover a large portion of his face. Lastly his eyes transformed to mimic Fukasaku's, Shima's, and Gamakichi's. Naruto could literally feel the immense power emanating from his teacher and two elder summons, sobering the male into a thoughtful yet serious gawking. Lala was the first to speak, breaking out of her stupor a lot quicker than her fiancé.

"Oh wow!"

Naruto's mind finally rebooted with a sputter and squeaking of a rusty wheel before he shook his head to recover, pointing a disbelieving finger at his teacher and jostling Lala in her spot. "I'm gonna look like that? Gross!"

"No, you fool! This is because I can't get the mixture right like I already explained!" Jiraiya growled; his voice a bit rougher due to the change. Becoming toad-like must have had that effect on people. "To counteract the problem, these two fuse with me and continuously pump natural chakra into my body. That way I don't have to waste time in battle standing still which would also leave me open to attack."

"So…I won't look like that?"

Jiraiya slapped his forehead again. He had been doing that a lot lately.

"No. Well…if you can't perfect sage mode for yourself then you'll likely have the same problem."

"Just another reason for me to get it right!" The blond stood up quickly as he pumped his fist, lifting his female companion into the air without pause. She in turn squawked before pouting and readjusting herself by placing her feet on the ground so she now stood behind him, still holding the boy in her embrace.

"Mou~…be careful, mister!"

"Heh heh…sorry, Lala-chan." She simply nodded into his back, getting the boy to crack a small smile. Jiraiya sighed as he released his hold over the power-up, his features sluggishly returning back to normal as the others leapt back to the earth and disengaged their own techniques. With a nod and soft sentence to the alien that she needed to release him, Naruto thumbed his nose and stood in front of the three teachers.

"Alright, I'm impressed. Let's get this training started!"

"Ya know what ya gotta do then, Naruto-chan. Off with 'em!" The boy felt his eye twitch at the blatant way the three older people in front of him were now grinning at him without a care. A quick look over his shoulder showed the princess watching him with a warm smile, unknowing of what they were talking about with her arms now clasped behind her back. The ninja's head whipped back around as he sent a pleading look towards Fukasaku but the old toad wouldn't have any of that. "Ah don' care if you're gonna get embarrassed! She's ta be yer wife so get used to it!"

"Not like you haven't seen each other naked already, brat. Besides you'll still be in your underwear so get it over with already!"

Confused by what was going on and why Naruto was suddenly tugging his clothes off, the girl cocked her head and turned expectantly towards Shima, who only shrugged and placed her cheek against her hand after slapping Jiraiya across the face for 'already corrupting the teenagers'. "It's part o' the trainin'…looks like Naruto-chan decided to take the more life-threatenin' approach to learning senjutsu. Are ya gonna be okay knowin' there's now a chance he might lose his life?"

Her mouth dropped open slightly and her shoulders drooped at the summon's words, feeling a small clenching within her chest. Naruto could die? No one said anything about _that_ happening! She didn't want him to die! There was still too much for her to learn about him and not only that, they still had to get married and do all the things married people do!

But she could see resolve in his body language as he sat cross-legged on the lip of the large, brownish pond. She became immensely interested in the large stone toad statues littering the area due to her childish attention span but that curiosity would have to wait; Naruto had just sighed and looked a bit uncertain sitting there in nothing more than his boxers, completely different from the determination he showed only a moment ago. Lala knew her fiancé as one who was headstrong and knew she had to do something. So, fidgeting with her hands, she decided to show him her support.

"Good luck, Naruto! I know you can do it!"

She could see his eyes flicker brighter as he looked towards her with a small blush of discomfort but eventually returned the smile with one of his own. Somewhat content for now, the pinkette felt a weight appear on her shoulder as Shima jumped and perched herself there like a parrot. "Yer good fer him, Lala-chan. As a married woman muhself, trust me when ah say that."

"**Excellent, Lala-sama! You may have just moved another step closer to winning Naruto-dono's heart!**"

The alien princess giggled and rocked on her heels, liking the compliments very much. She just did what she felt was appropriate and turned out, it was right on the dot. "Thanks Ma-chan, Peke." The old toad rolled her eyes discreetly (seriously, a woman her age being called –chan? Preposterous.) but patted the teen's head all the same.

"Yer welcome. Now come on, let's leave the men to their work. Ah'll show ya around the mountain in the meantime." Lala chirped in reply and bounded off with her company in tow, leaving the men to continue on with their current plans. As Naruto sat there waiting to learn what he had to do he noticed Pa watching Jiraiya with lidded eyes. The man himself was staring right back at the smaller creature in uncertainty before finally clearing his throat and flicking his arms forward in question.

"What?"

"Ah don' see ya getting' over here ta join Naruto-chan."

"Huh? But I already know how to sense natural energy!"

The toads eyes narrowed even further. "And who needs me and muh wife to constantly be there when he's in sage mode? Jus' cause we're here for the boy don't mean ya can't train on yer own ta get better at yer technique!"

"But!-" A dry, thin arm flashed forward and pointed near the ground next to Naruto, not taking any more argument. With a growl and shaking of his fist, the toad sage slinked forward like a spoiled child not getting their way and finally planted himself next to his student. "This is so stupid…I'm a grown ass man!"

"An' I still outrank you in every way! So I don' give a flyin' fig how old you are, you're still just a tadpole compared to me!" At this point Jiraiya held his tongue despite the fact he so wanted to continue arguing. But Pa was tapping that damnable cane into his other palm with a slow, steady rhythm. Jiraiya was a seducer of women! A Casanova of amazing notoriety, both good and bad! And here he was, afraid of a pint-sized animal! But…well, okay…it was for a good reason. Fukasaku was damn scary when he wanted to be.

And then there was Shima…

With a shiver that coursed down his spine, the sannin entered into the same meditative pose that Naruto was in and breathed out slowly through his mouth. Looked like he better just humor Pa for the time being…because, y'know, it wasn't like he didn't wish his senjutsu was more streamlined. He just never had the time to practice thanks to his spy network and travel, and now there was also having to look after the blond son of his former student. Plus he was already a crazy strong motherfucker! So yeah. He'd practice since the older gent had been given the chance.

It wasn't like he had to though!

Meanwhile, farther down the mountain, Shima had been showing her charge around the beautiful swampy mountain while making sure the girl didn't wander off on her own. That's all she needed…losing Naruto's cute fiancé because she hadn't been paying attention. The duo walked along until Lala suddenly squealed and ran forward, forcing the elder to hop after her in a huff that caused her cloak to billow out in a wide arc behind her. Catching up she found the alien royalty speaking animatedly with a large yellow toad that Shima realized was Gamatatsu. The young animal was grinning in a dopey manner at the pinkette, merely letting the girl talk and talk until he found the space to answer.

"Tatsu-kun! How are you? It's been awhile but it's so nice to see you again! Your home is really, really cool but I think I like Naruto-kun's house more!"

"Oh…hiya, Lala." The toad blinked lazily before waving a hand in front of his body. "Do ya got any snacks?" Wow. Shima totally saw that coming. Not even a 'when did you get here' or 'wait, how'd you get here?' The toad blinked once before finally realizing that a non-summoner was in his specific realm and speaking with him. "You can't summon toads. How'd you get here?"

There it was.

"**That's something I'd like to know, too.**" a booming voice asked loudly, echoing with unabashed irritation around the valley and getting Gamatatsu to perk up considerably. Lala actually jumped at the sudden noisy intrusion and covered her ears slightly, twisting her head around and around to try and find the source of the loudness but she just couldn't lock onto the one that spoke. Was it another awesome yet crazy shinobi thingy? "**Up here, girl.**"

Muscles stretched as Lala tilted her neck back, long silken hair slipping over her shoulders and down her back while her greenish eyes widened considerably. The rusty, reddish-colored mountain behind the yellow toad was **not** a mountain at all. With a hand shielding her eyes against the sun, she was forced to gaze straight up with her body in a perfect line and could still barely see the top of what she was trying to see. "…ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO WOW!"

The 'mountain' was actually another toad. A big toad. A _really_ big toad. From what she could make out from her tiny perspective, the monster was brick red and held brighter red markings on his body though it was tough to make out at the angle. Over the yellowish toad eyes, there was a scar going from the left brow ridge before ending underneath the eye. A massive blue vest/coat covered his large frame held in place by a white cord belt, and there was a huge blade strapped to his side. Lastly, the toad was holding a thin pipe in one lanky hand that was lazily belching smoke into the clear blue sky while the other clutched a wide sake saucer. Like, really _really_ wide. On the ground near his foot rested a large jug of, most likely, the same alcoholic liquid sitting in the cup.

"**I don't recall hearing anything about another new summoner…at least this one's a looker compared to the last brat who got lucky enough to sign his name on our scroll.**"

"**That's not very polite, Bunta. I find Naruto-san to be a nice young lad.**"

"**You haven't been summoned by the little fool yet. Thinking to order me around…hmph!**"

It was then Lala noticed that Gamakichi and the super toad weren't alone. How had she not noticed the colossal magenta toad resting next to the red one, nor the aquamarine one who had remained stoically silent while staring down at the small humanoid? Her eyes were bulging wide as the brilliant smile on her face grew to its stretching point. This was amazing! Naruto never said there were animals this big here on Earth! "This is so cool! Nana would love to meet you!"

Shima took that moment to waggle her finger to get the other's attentions before motioning to the girl whose shoulder she still currently rested on. "Bunta-chan! Ken-chan! Hiro-chan! This here is Lala-chan! She's no summoner, and the reason that yer son here knows the girl is 'cause she's ta wed Naruto-chan!"

The one called Gamabunta comically sputtered as his reddish cheeks swelled significantly. The spit-take that soon followed was of massive proportions, sending a spray of clear liquid mixed with saliva that spattered against the dirt with enough force to knock over a house. If Lala had been caught in one of the drops, she would likely have been swept away like she had been caught in a river current. To her good fortune she had been standing close enough to Gamatatsu and the other three summons to not become a missing person on accident.

"**M-married? I thought Gamakichi was just telling a joke!**"

"How the hell is that funny, boy? It sounds nuthin' like a dang joke!"

"Yeah, I can't wait to marry Naruto!" Oh good lord, the females were joined together on a collected front. That bode well for nobody. Recovering the best he could, Gamabunta tapped off a few ashes from the end of his pipe and coughed. He then had to do a double-take and cross his eyes inward when the girl was suddenly in front of his face. Flying. In some weird, skintight suit with a big hat that sported bat wings. He should've known any girl of Naruto's wouldn't exactly be normal…even by shinobi standards.

"**How…are you flying, miss?**" the magenta toad asked, causing Lala to drift around to look at him. She was able to get a much better look at him thanks to the fact she was now eye-level with the huge amphibian. This Gamaken was as big as Gamabunta, with black markings over its face and exposed body that stood out on its purplish skin, with horn like protrusions on his eye ridges. Unlike Bunta though, he wore a black kimono with a white sash and mesh armor underneath. On the toad's back rested a large, lid-shaped shield and a sasumata pole weapon covered in spikes. But unlike the slightly menacing way he looked, Lala could feel he wasn't a threat to her in the slightest.

She noticed the last toad of the trio nod his head as well making her spin that way too. Lighter green skin on the bottom, darker on the top, and grayish trim around the eyes. Gamahiro too wielded weapons, in this case a pair of huge katanas crossed in an X-formation across his back. They were held in place by an orange sash even as the animal summon used a finger to scratch at his chin in confusion and wonder.

"It's all thanks to Peke here!" she exclaimed, lightly rapping her knuckles on the white head covering that looked like some weird puppet. Showing surprising agility for her age, Ma hopped straight up onto Gamahiro's greenish head and decided to stare down Bunta, who was looking the most unnerved by the oddity before them.

"Ah figured both she and Naruto-chan woulda toldja at some point but there's no helpin' it now. Ah got to say that even I had a hard time believin' it at first…but there's really no other explanation fer what she is."

"**And that is?**"

Seeing the positive nod from the mother-figure toad, the pinkette softly grabbed her tail to bring it around into view without making her lose concentration at the touch. "I'm an alien! Lala Satalin Deviluke! Nice to meet you, big toads!" Bunta's eyes bulged out; Ken's mouth dropped open and at the most, Hiro's brow ridge rose a little higher but otherwise remained the same.

"**That wasn't a joke either?**" the boss sputtered, unnerved. Down below Gamatatsu continued watching everyone high up in the air as he remained in the very same spot he had been since he decided earlier he wanted to sit with his dad and his buddies. There was no need for him to move and honestly, he felt too lazy at the moment to try and jump up to join the others. Although…he did feel a bit hungry. He hadn't had any snacks for at least half an hour and that forced a single thought through his mind as he watched a few clouds slide by in the distance.

"_I wonder if Lala or Naruto brought any of those taiyaki cakes?_"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[One and a Half Days Later]

All was calm.

All was quiet.

The only sound that could be heard was the constant stream of bubbling oil spraying downward into its attached reservoir pond. Despite the liquidy distraction, the three resident organisms paid it no heed. The small, greenish toad that had already spent many, many years on terra firma stood in the very same spot he had resided on the last few days, intently watching the charge before him. Occasionally he would dip his hand in the oil and rub it into the naked back of the blond he was training.

Next to said blond sat an older man, completely at ease with the world. Unlike the younger male he could already sense nature itself and so had no use for the brownish fluid that aided senjutsu. So immersed in the lack of activity that came with meditation, a few birds had perched upon his larger form as though he was a tree or rock formation. His chakra melded with the surrounded environment, both inside his body and outside his cells, and allowed him peace of mind and escape from the day-to-day problems that came with life. It was the very same reaction the last person was aiming for.

It was there, on the very edges of his awareness, and yet he still couldn't seem to fully feel the peaceful flow of the earth and sky itself. The oil was a boon, making him wonder how long it truly would have taken if he decided to follow the safer training course. One day was already over and he could nearly feel the energy of nature. He looked just as peaceful as the man next to him but it was actually pretty damn hard. Naruto Uzumaki was making headway in his sage training but it was almost hell…after all, he was a man of action. Staying still for an extremely long period of meditation was not something he was used to.

A small splash of oil smacked against his exposed skin thanks to Fukasaku but the amount was too great and caused him to flinch ever so slightly. The influx of chakra began to override his energy and it caused his body to begin to widen and grow, forcing the elder toad to smack him heartily in the spine with his cane. The power of nature was instantly expelled from his tenketsu and halted the transformation process.

There was also a yelp of pain that Naruto expressly believed was _not_ girly in the slightest.

As he rolled around on the ground clutching at his new sore spot, the ninja found the time to whine. "Ow! I'm gonna be bleeding internally!" Pa could only roll his eyes and let the tip of his club drop onto the stone.

"Shaddup. Are ya givin' up already?"

"No…" Naruto grumbled. "But, hey! I think I have a better idea on how to do this. What about Kage Bunshin?" That…why didn't any of them think of that sooner? It was actually a good idea but the consequences were terrible. If any one of his clones lost control and turned into a toad, in essence he would too. Just because his main body wouldn't change didn't mean he wouldn't be forced into inaction. He would be assaulted with memories of turning and that would force his brain into a standstill. In essence he would lose himself. So Pa decided to give him a concession.

"Fine but no more than four! Anymore 'en that an' I can' keep up! Any o' yer clones turn and BAM! Say goodbye."

The copies were soon dispelled after being struck by the elder. It just made Naruto incensed and decided to take a break, sprawled over the ground as Pa watched him muttering about all the bruises over his body. This had actually been some of the toughest training the jinchuriki had ever been through but knew if Jiraiya could do it, then he would stick with it too. In fact he believed anyone would go through with it if it allowed them to become as powerful as the perverted sannin. That is, until the amphibian mentioned it was only because the two of them possessed enormous chakra reserves. Having that was a requirement to learning sage mode…as well as having the guts to never give up.

That fit both Naruto and Jiraiya to a 'T'.

With a happy grin, the blond shinobi threw himself willingly into the pool of senjutsu oil with a grand splash. Pa was horrified and even the older shinobi broke from his unmoving posture as he sensed his protégé sink beneath the placid pond. Birds chirped as they were spooked from their perches as both senjutsu users scrabbled to find a way to pull the boy away from certain death.

But that didn't matter at the moment.

What did was the overload every one of his senses were going through. As soon as he was immersed in the darkened liquid, Naruto's body immediately began to change. He couldn't seem to stop it no matter how hard he tried and a flicker of doubt shot through his heart like a bolt of lightning. This had been a terrible idea, brought on by the passive compliment given to him by the elder toad. And now he would suffer for it. Son of a bitch. Well…there goes the rest of his life.

Something long and thin wrapped around his expanding torso and jerked him straight out of the oil, causing him to awkwardly slip across the ground and roll to a stop while his body continued to tremble and alter itself. He could vaguely hear Fukasaku and Jiraiya shouting at each other before the feeling of a certain club began rapidly slapping itself into any skin it could find. No matter how many times it hit it could only knock out a portion of the overabundance of natural chakra in his body. It was undeterminable how many hits it would take before he was back to reasonable levels.

But Naruto was more concerned about the smattering of new feelings coursing through his body. It was…amazing. Maybe it's because he was changing…but he could literally feel every single living thing on Mt. Myouboku. And not only the animals, but the trees. The grass. The water and stone. If asked (and he was able to speak) he could have explained the general area of any other toad. The peaceful feeling coursing through his very soul made the teen want to slip off to sleep. He just had to give in…allow himself to become lost in the gentle folds of nature itself.

It would be so easy…

A flicker. One certain ball of energy grew in strength as it continued conversing with other chakra signatures. He could nearly see the brilliance of it within the darkness that had overtaken him. That was…his wife. Wife? No…fiancé. It was getting harder to think. He was _supposed_ to be getting married. Even now, that thought made him feel oddly giddy and yet still greatly confused him. A girl actually wanted to marry him? It was so hard to comprehend sometimes even though one of his goals in life was to have a family. Something he never had before. But…if he became a stone toad, he would no longer be able to. Lala…Lala would be devastated, wouldn't she? He didn't want her to be sad, or heartbroken, or anything in between. It wouldn't be right to see a bubbly girl such as her expressing such dour emotions.

He wouldn't allow that to pass…while he still held onto consciousness.

With all the will he could muster, Naruto focused his chakra to mix with the abundance of extra nature chakra in his system and tried to reach a rough estimation. As the three wound together he focused on creating some sort of barrier to keep the rest of the energy from leaking in. It was really tough and the blond thought he was going to pass out at any moment, but one extra strike to the noggin both woke him up and removed the nature chakra stuck within his head. Despite all of the pain his body was currently producing the ninja was able to groan and roll onto his stomach with a muted sigh. Did Pa really have to keep hitting him so hard?

"Brat? …Naruto? Can you hear us?"

"…shut up…Ero-sennin…"

The sannin couldn't help but laugh in relief at his student's reply and help him unsteadily wobble to his feet. Pa wasn't as amused though, feeling as though Naruto still needed a few extra smacks with his stick until the old toad felt better about the heart attack he nearly had thanks to the boy's stupidity. When he said it took guts he didn't mean to commit suicide under the guise of trying to be tough!

"Ya idiot! Do ya even realize what ya nearly did to yerself?"

With one eye remaining bright blue while the other had taken on the yellowish visage of the very animals he summoned, Naruto grinned weakly as he stood next to Jiraiya with an arm around the man's neck for support. "Yeah…I can see nature energy now." There wasn't a 'maybe' in there. There wasn't a 'I think I see it' in his sentence. The jinchuriki was positive that he could sense and see the wisps of brownish-green miasma that seemed to flow off of everything in sight, even the very air itself, except for the two other senjutsu-users standing there next to him. It had to be nature chakra. For one he couldn't see it before he jumped into the pond and upped his sixth sense. It had to be the power that both Jiraiya and Fukasaku could already witness. "There's small waves of energy crawling off of everything…like when I channel too much chakra and it becomes visible. It's really faint though…huh…I wonder if this is what Sasuke sees when he looks at people while using his sharingan?"

"That sounds like natural chakra alright." Jiraiya found himself grinning alongside his pupil before slapping him heartily on the back. "Good job, brat! Looks like nearly killing yourself actually did some good!" As the boy stumbled and turned to yell at the other toad summoner (once again showing his amazing recovery ability. He might have still been shaky but it was nowhere near the level it had been moments before) Pa considered what had just happened with something akin to awe before smiling softly and prepping his cane against his shoulder. Simply amazing. The boy just continued to be full of surprises.

'_So you really can sense the chakra a bit. Well done._' He quickly desummoned his walking stick and clapped his hands together, gathering the attention of the two humans. This was the perfect time for a break. "C'mon, you two. Now's a good time to go an' collect lunch." With a nod from both, the three traveled back towards the amphibian's home where they found both Shima and Lala waiting with steaming plates of insects. Naruto paled significantly as he stared down his soup, even as everyone else once again dug in like it was no problem. How could they eat this crap? It made him queasy just looking at it.

"Naruto, why are you so dirty?" Lala asked from his side. Never mind the fact he was still in his boxers but at that point the boy didn't care; he was still too excited from his latest discovery. She took to poking at one of the odd smudges on his arm as he lightly swatted at her hand, getting the girl to pout her lips and prod some more. She couldn't help that she was curious. Hanging out with Ma was nice but she wanted to spend more time with her live-in boyfriend fiancé person. "Come on, tell me! I wanna know!"

"It's because Pa keeps hitting me with his stupid stick. It's the only thing that keeps me from changing into a toad." With a gag he was able to muscle down a grasshopper torso, licking his lips and involuntarily shuddering at the taste. He noticed she was watching him again, playing with the hem of her shirt with widened eyes. "That's…uh, that's the result if I fail sage training. I'll turn into a stone toad and his stick knocks the extra energy out of my body."

"That's apparently not the only thing. How did you stop yourself from changing after jumping in the oil pond-" Everyone heard Ma gasp and the clattering of her plate as she dropped her beetle against it, "-and making us think you were lost? If Pa hadn't snagged you with his tongue then you probably would have been. You were nearly completely gone when he started doing his best to strike the nature chakra out of your body but suddenly all the rock on your skin starts disappearing and you wind up with one toad-esque eye."

"Ya did what?" Ma shrieked, forcing Pa to raise a hand to get her to stay quiet. He wanted to hear what the boy had to say as all eyes present focused in on him.

"While I was still conscious, I knew I couldn't let myself be overtaken. Simple as that." Blue eyes flickered towards the pinkette at his side which did not go unnoticed by the others. Lala merely thought it was because he felt like looking towards her and she smiled anyways. Ma sighed dreamily as she thought it was yet another romantic example between the two, Pa nodded his head thoughtfully, and Jiraiya's lips slowly grew and grew. Oh, he would keep this for a later date. '_Deny it all you want, brat. You used Lala to bring yourself back from the brink_.'

After a slightly tenser lunch, the three returned to the training ground with one extra passenger. Lala had decided she wanted to watch this time seeing as Naruto was now moving onto the next section of his work and she wanted to cheer him on. At first, Fukasaku asked the boy to try and lift one of the rock toads with only his normal chakra. Try as he might, even with reinforced muscles he could not get the statue to budge. Panting heavily, Naruto idly wondered just how much training it would take (if it was even possible) to raise the figurine like the elder toad did without nature chakra mixed in.

Probably never.

He did almost feel like crying however when his fiancé skipped over and lifted the statue over own her head with mildly shaking arms and a cute shout. "I-If I can do it the-then you can do it too, N-Naruto!"

**BOOOOM**

Dust and rock chips were thrown everywhere as the animal effigy slammed back into the soil. Naruto just smiled and gave her a thumbs-up anyways. Pa himself was speechless. It looked like he just learned something else about Lala's physiology besides being an extraterrestrial and having some crazy awesome genes that let her grow into quite the cutie. With a quivering hand, the amphibian could only point towards the oil and croak out a sentence.

"S-sage chakra next…"

"Alright!"

A tanned hand was quickly dunked within the thick fluid before the boy once again channeled his chakra, this time with the added bonus of a third addition as he dropped into his meditative stance. As the simmering waves of energy once again sprang into existence it forced his eyes to lengthen, grow black outlines, and bleed into a golden-yellow coloration. As the chakra slipped into his veins a few warts sprang up around his body but other than that he was able to reign in the worse of the changes.

This time he could do it.

No, he _would_ do it.

Fingers dug into dense, weathered stone as drips of sweat began to roll down his skin. The statue was still exceedingly heavy but this time he was able to boost his payload up to eye level with some strain. Like Lala he dropped it once his arms began to quiver, sending yet another resounding crack that echoed throughout Myoubokuzan. Hot damn, he really did it! The alien royalty immediately tackled herself into her love's side and hugged him for all it was worth, ecstatic that the boy had grown nearly as strong as she was. That meant she didn't have to tone down her strength when she wanted to show him just how happy she was. That just made her more happy, which lead to more squeezing as Naruto just laughed and did his best to return it with a reinforced body.

"I hate ta break up such a touchin' moment but we need ta keep the ball rollin while we still can. I want ya to continue pullin' in natural chakra with the oil. When ya think ya've got a good grasp on it, then sit underneath the oil fountain. There's no quicker way ta get used to masterin' the oil."

"Right. I'll do that." With some minor difficulty, (Lala just did not want to let go) Naruto was able to get himself set in the same spot he was now used to sitting in, ready to continue absorbing the power of nature itself. Pa took a moment to hop over to the stoic Jiraiya and nudge him slyly in the shin. "He's takin' to his trainin' quicker than you did. You gonna let the boy pass you so easily?"

"Screw that." The pervert huffed, his face taking on a mixture of annoyance and revulsion. "Like I'd let the brat one-up me on this one. He's already got a banging hottie ready to marry him. That's the only time I'll let him beat me in anything since I'm much more taken with being an eligible bachelor." At that he fell to the ground and immediately began to meditate. Was he jealous of the boy's progress? Of course not…he just had to prove who the master was.

And now it had come down to the more inactive part of the training; waiting for the boy to move on to the next level. Scratching at a small itch on his arm, Fukasaku turned towards Lala and gave a small grin. "Ya can either stick around and wait if ya want or go on back ta Ma. Sorry if this seems borin', Lala-chan."

She shook her head and glanced at Naruto. "It's okay…actually I'm gonna go and work on some of my inventions." He regarded her quietly for a moment before nodding and waving his hand nonchalantly.

"Go on then. Don' worry, ah'm not gonna keep him busy the whole time. Once he's finished here, ah'll send him on his way and' you too can spend time together." Now that got her to smile, revealing a large amount of pearly white teeth. "An' this time, I'll convince Ma to let the two o' ya sleep in the same bed." What a shocker that had been for the older animals. Ma had gone to wake the two teenagers up after Naruto had pulled his camping tent out of his backpack the very first night and set it up. When she had zipped down the opening and popped inside, she came upon a nude Lala snuggling up against an obliviously sleeping Naruto in pajamas. Peke was off in one of the small corners, dozing away. The sight of the little robot did nothing to quell her motherly instinct and the shout that followed. Jiraiya wound up taking a beating later too since he obviously had some hand in the situation. "The tent o' his was made fer one person an' I'da been surprised if the two o' you hadn't wound up right on top o' each other."

"Thanks, Pa~!" With a flick of her thumb she opened her D-Dial and set about removing odd pieces of machinery that Fukasaku had never seen before. All held the same color scheme of being white with black markings and an emblem he guessed had something to do with Lala's family. As the girl drifted off into quiet mutterings accompanied by the clicking of fingers on the thing that sort of looked like one of those television screens with buttons, the elder once again craned his neck to look over at his students.

Jiraiya had easily slipped back into his tranquil state of body, mind, and soul to become one with the earth. That was good; he seemed like he was getting quicker at pulling the energy in. And Naruto? The blond was no longer in his spot at the lip of the pond. In fact he was already sitting underneath the small waterfall of oil that continuously spouted out of lone statue's pursed lips. Good. Very good. The boy's progress rate was actually quite astounding. Perhaps jumping into the oil had been the very boon he needed? It seems so, seeing as he was now being continuously pounded by the fluid with nary a problem to be seen. He now held a few less warty protrusions on his body and his eyes were the same as before. No stone skin or puffy body parts.

Very, very good indeed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That…actually went better than expected. Everything had gone swimmingly despite the air of tenseness that stifled the office. All from one person. But there had been no injuries, no outcries of revenge or murder. Hell, none of the ANBU had to be called in to stop a path of blind destruction. And now, one day later, Tsunade finally felt like she could relax.

Well…as much as she could while being the leader of a whole village and a conglomerate of killers.

**KNOCK KNOCK**

Oh, come on! Why now, when she was just about to crack open a new bottle of booze? Grrr, fine! "Enter!" She was unable to keep the scorn from creeping into her voice, slapping her drawer closed and leaning back in her cushioned seat. When the knocking continued she grew continuously incensed before angrily stomping to her feet and nearly ripping the door off of its hinges.

"Hello, Hime-" The person outside was unable to finish their greeting as the Slug Sannin had decided to force her fist through their head with a roar of fury. Instead of sending her guest through the wall, the one after that, and so on and so forth, they disappeared swiftly in a puff of smoke. As she fanned the obscurant away she made out a small chuckle behind her back that caused the woman to spin on her heel. There, sitting in the window like he always seemed to do, was Jiraiya. Hopefully the real one and not another clone because she seriously needed to release some stress even while glaring at him skeptically.

"What? You seriously think I'd come in first and receive a beating? That's what clones are for."

"If I don't get answers soon, then you're going to get a lot more than a simple beating." Her words were venomous and even the toad summoner felt himself pressing into the office wall. "Do you even know how much shit I've had to put up with since the day I received your letter? _We won't be back at the designated time. Sorry. _Sorry? I've no idea where you are, no idea how Naruto is doing! *gasp* But, oh wait! He has a fiancé? He's _getting married?_ And then Sakura goes and opens her big mouth! I nearly killed the girl for her amateurish mistake! But it wasn't her fault she was in the room when I opened that other damn scroll! I thought I was going to have a riot on my hands when the Hyuuga girl heard that the boy she has a crush on has already moved off onto someone else!"

Her hands were twitching, curling inwards as she visualized them wrapped around Jiraiya's thick neck and choking the life out him. Ever so slowly. So goooood…she just needed to move closer. But the even, unperturbed look on his face cooled her ire somewhat, blinking her eyes and feeling a bit of shock when he sighed and slowly shook his head from side to side. Where was the whole 'running scared' gag? He knew it, she knew it, and then they moved on with their lives.

"You finished? Good. Scared me a bit there but then again I've faced worse." He then walked past her, towering over the henged woman before sitting on the nearby upholstery and bouncing a few times on the plushy cushions. "This a new couch? I like it."

"Wh…wha?"

"Why am I not cowering in a corner, wetting myself in unbridled fear? Because I have a report for you that takes precedence over anything else." A small grin cracked over his lips as he pointed towards her desk, getting a funny look from the busty blonde before she finally trudged over and dropped into her seat. Clearing her throat lightly the female sat forward and entered her Hokage persona. Fingers clasped together in front of her cleavage as she rested them on the desk, drawing the man's eyes before he snapped them up to look within her amber orbs.

"Very well then, Jiraiya…let's hear it before I do something I probably won't regret."

His smile dropped as she crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her with a rather intense stare. "Naruto is currently training with the toads in senjutsu."

"Are you crazy?" Her voice rose again, knowing exactly how intense it was having heard about the man's own experiences.

"Every ninja is crazy in their own way."

"He's not ready for such advanced techniques!"

"Oh?" he commented idly, scratching the side of his nose. "Then I guess the fact that he can already sense natural chakra is a fluke and that Pa already has him working on not having to use the special oil as a catalyst is something I hallucinated. Barely transforms now, too. I hate to admit it but the boy's done way more than I ever did in one and a half days of working under the elder."

"Seriously…?"

"Yup. Lala's there as well. Naruto was the one to come up with the idea and it seems to have brought the two closer together. The girl is clearly smitten with him and takes to letting him know all the time, but Naruto doesn't seem to understand his own emotions. It seems being around a girl that actually cares for him has slowly changed him. Hell, he admits he's not sure if he himself will fall for her when he hasn't seen that Sakura chick in years but I think Lala's already got her hooks in him."

"I still want to meet this girl…"

"Don't worry, you will. The school they go to is on vacation for the moment and I plan on bringing them back for a visit when training is over. Which, at the rate Naruto is progressing…should actually be sometime soon? Yeah. Probably. Unless we try to cram some more techniques into his brain." Swallowing, Jiraiya felt himself coming up to the one part of the report he knew would likely set Tsunade off.

"Okay. So they're still in the toad realm when you're here. You could have just sent another scroll instead of coming in person. What's the deal here, Jiraiya?" Her eyes narrowed somewhat as she noticed his body language become tense.

"It's because…of the promise I made to Pa if Naruto masters sage mode. If he doesn't do it, then we stick to when he becomes a chunin or gets older." Now _that_ caused Tsunade to tense as well, now that she had an idea of what he was hinting at.

"You didn't…"

"I'm not keeping it from him anymore, Tsunade! He deserves to know!" The sannin roared as though provoked, jumping to his feet with a dangerous look in his eyes. "I don't give a shit about that anymore! At this rate he'll know soon enough and hopefully only hates me for a little while, instead of keeping the truth from him longer and making him hate me forever!"

"He's-"

"If you say he's not ready one more time, I swear I will hit you through the wall like you always do to me. I am not joking. **This** is why I decided to come here after finishing my own bit of training for the day. To tell you what is going to happen, not what _might_ happen. It's my duty as his godfather that I've neglected for too long. Naruto is strong. His fiancé is strong too. He will inevitably fight against Akatsuki, and he will destroy them. He won't be alone, either." With a nip of his finger and a few well practiced hand-seals, Jiraiya summoned Kosuke and crouched down to look at the small amphibian. "Let them know I'm ready to come back."

"You got it, boss."

He sent another look towards his stunned former teammate as the toad vanished, this time with a softer gaze in his eyes. "Knowledge is power, Hime. I would know. Naruto knows how to keep his mouth shut regardless. Think how much harder he would fight and how stronger he would become if he knew who his parents were? I know I'd want to do them proud if my mom and dad happened to be those two powerhouses."

With a sigh, Tsunade of the Slugs finally rolled her shoulders and made a shooing motion with her hand. There was no arguing with him now. Naruto was going to pitch a fit when he learned the truth and better he first took it out on someone like durable old Jiraiya. "Fine…fine. Whatever. I don't care. It's out of my hands then. I'll leave it to you and I expect a front seat wedding invitation when the time finally comes." Now that got him to laugh heartily, relieving some of the strain between the two. With a faint smile of her own, Jiraiya gave her a wave and tossed her a small scroll that bounced along the top of her wooden desk.

"There's the 'official' report in case you need some sort of cover for the council about Naruto's updates. It was good seeing you again, princess. Problems or not I'm glad we were able to get this all resolved without a fight. Might I say though you look just as stunningly sexy as I remember!" Then he was gone, disappearing in a plume of summon smoke while leering at her with a dual thumbs up. Knuckles cracked in her hand as she squeezed the digits sharply. He just had to leave like the pervert he was instead of a more dignified goodbye. Still…it was rather nice seeing he hadn't exactly changed after nearly three years away from Konoha. A bit more protective of Naruto but she was quite fine with that.

And Naruto…she truly had to wonder how much three years had changed him.

It wouldn't be too much longer before her curiosity was finally fulfilled.

Humming to herself at the new information now floating around her noggin, the leader of the leaf finally retrieved the bottle of sake from her desk and took a large gulp. FINALLY! God it tasted so good. Cracking open the new roll of parchment she began to scan over the words written within. Sage mode…training with the toads…yup, pretty much everything he mentioned besides telling the brat about his parents. That would look good for documentation purposes later on. Taking another slip of her drink, the woman rerolled the information back up and took to looking at the photograph that had been nestled within. That man had seemingly turned into an amateur picture-taker over the last few months.

This one showed her favorite blond brat sitting in front of a small brown waterfall, legs crossed and hands resting together with his back straight and eyes closed. He wore nothing more than his boxers but that was completely beside the point; he looked perfectly at ease. Was this really the same hyperactive nincompoop she remembered saving her from Kabuto and his chakra scalpels?

Like the other former rookies, he had naturally aged. His hair still defied gravity but it looked to be a little bit longer. Naruto was taller (surprisingly) and had filled out with muscle, looking more like an adult and Minato than he ever did before. Poor Hinata…she really should have snagged him back when she had the chance. Oh well…tough luck for the pale-eyed heiress.

Slipping the picture into her sake drawer she placed it next to the one she still kept of Lala. Hell, if Jiraiya kept sending pictures then maybe she could file them all together into a photo album. Naruto and Lala's future kids needed something to look back on one day, after all. The same for the happy couple…because they were totally going to have a bunch of yellow or pink-haired children. Not one or two, but a whole bunch. Naruto needed to bring back the Uzumaki clan although he wasn't exactly the last of them. There were other survivors supposedly scattered to the winds...

…aw, who was she kidding? She just wanted some grandkids to spoil.

With thoughts of what her pseudo-son's offspring might look like, the strongest woman in Konoha finished her sake and reached for another bottle. Might as well embellish her freedom while Shizune wasn't around to harp on her and her beloved drinking habits.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto sat quietly in his tent, staring at the small book resting in his hands. Even though night had fallen and it was harder to see he could still make out the lettering on the front cover. _The Legend of the Gutsy Shinobi._ Jiraiya's very first book, given to the boy after he had finished with the day's training. The perverted shinobi had said it was a gift for him after reappearing from his mysterious disappearance and called it his very first novel. The book hadn't sold that well, compared to his Icha Icha at least, but he still mentioned it happened to be one of his favorites to create.

_I won't always be around in the far future, even if I like to think of myself as an undying enigma. At least with this you won't always remember me as nothing more than a super pervert. _That's what he said, yeah? His words made it seem like he was going to die. Naruto snorted at the idea. Yeah, he wasn't going to kick the bucket for a long time. Jiraiya still had way to many women to peep on in this world. Still, as he gently ran his hand across the hard cover and traced the kanji, the jinchuriki thought of it as a nice present. He'd read it first thing when he had the free time.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZIP**

"I'm back, Naruto."

"Hey Lala."

"Oh?" She ducked down to allow the curly cue of hair on her head to enter the tent before zipping it back up, curiously looking at the item in her fiance's clutches. He didn't have that before. "What's that?"

"A book from Ero-sennin. His very first one, in fact." He smacked the stiff binding into his other hand a few times. "He said it was a gift…the bio seems interesting so I'm going to read it as soon as I can." She regarded it quietly as a finger found its way to prod her lips. He thought it was sorta cute when she did that.

"Can I read it too? I've gotten better at understanding Japanese words and symbols thanks to school. "

"Sure." He handed her the small book that quickly found its way clutched against her bosom. "You can look it over while I'm training. You'll likely finish it first anyways."

"Thanks~!"

Blushing at the way she was giggling and hugging the novel, he awkwardly scratched at his cheek before beaming and laying back into his sleeping bag. She was so simple…he wished his life could have been like that. If only…but at least she didn't have to worry about the things he did. With a soft goodnight Naruto turned onto his side and closed his eyes. Not a minute later he heard the sound of Peke disentangling from Lala's curvy body and said body pulling itself flush against his back. With an arm thrown over his torso, he felt the girl nearly purr as she burrowed against his form in her own sleeping bag.

First stiffening at the contact, Naruto eventually relaxed and did his best to nod off. As long as Ma didn't try and wake them up again…he didn't need to hear her throaty shouting so early in the morning. At least she didn't strike him like most. That was a big bonus in his book.

"Mmmm…Naruto…"

Eh? Lala's sleep-talking? Or was she just trying to speak to him while all was calm and he wasn't busy?

"Yeah?"

"Did you…know that my birthday is next week?"

"Really? What day?"

"…the seventh."

Wow that was close. He had no idea. "I hope I finish before then…I'll need to get you a gift."

"You don't have to…I'm happy enough right now."

"But that's tradition, right? Like…it's a must that you get presents."

He felt her shake her head against his spine. "Then you tell me when your birthday is too. That's what I want for a present."

"Oh. Well…not much of a gift but it's October tenth. I'm still going to get you something though...no idea what yet but I'll think of something." This time he felt her giggle and readjust herself, allowing Naruto to feel her breasts slide against him as she tried to pull herself closer while staying comfortable. Damn, he still didn't know whether to believe he was lucky or there was an invisible countdown gauging his actions until all hell broke loose. In the pinkette's mind, Shima's advice had worked.

Both began to drift off as their breathing evened out. Today was officially over and tomorrow would bring more challenges. But for now, they were nothing more than two teenagers embracing as they were swept off to dreamland.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Whoops. Mishap. According to the wiki, Lala's birthday is July 7__th__. Japanese schools don't go on summer break until late July. Oopsie. I guess that's what I get for being an American trying to write about Japanese schooling. So, for now, just act like things are normal. We good? We good._

_Nothing more in this one than some sage training that was expanded on compared to the manga. Yup. Next comes some more training and then off to Konoha for a bit. Huzzah. Then back to To-Love-Ru canon and all of that until I decide what else to do. After all, I write on the fly pretty much._

_God I'm tired._

_The end._

_Later._


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 7:

His body was still and his breathing was even. The flow of natural chakra in and around him seemed to course evenly without any break in the constant stream. High atop a small hill of large spikes that resembled stalagmites, Fukasaku and Naruto defied both gravity and a supposed law of nature by perfectly balancing on top of said pointy objects. Both were seated along a thick, square tile that sat upon their tips without error. The edge poked directly into the dead center of the stony seat without miraculously tipping over.

Only one who had ceased all movement under the guise of an animal could achieve such stillness.

Pa, already a master at keeping still, merely stood on his own rock square watching as Naruto pulled the surrounding ambient chakra inside of his body. He'd have called the young ninja a prodigy if he hadn't known otherwise. The last couple days had showed rapid growth with the blond learning how to call upon the chakra of nature. In the beginning he could barely handle a dab of oil against his skin; now he didn't even need it. The old toad could see it clearly too. The vapor that only sages could see had been swirling around Naruto like it was having a hard time deciding whether or not to touch the boy when suddenly it jolted and attached itself to him like a rabid animal.

Fukasaku could feel the power molding itself within the boy's chest when suddenly it stilled, as if the storm had just passed and now the calm had begun. Naruto's eyes once again grew toad-like but the epidermis around the tops of his eyes had bled into an orange color. No other transformations had taken place besides the minor one, leaving the boy as human as he could possibly be. Amazing…truly amazing!

With a peaceful decorum, Naruto slowly opened his eyes to reveal the golden irises and bar pupils that the toad was expecting to see. As though he was looking around for the very first time in his life Naruto checked his surroundings before taking in a deep, calming breath that was slowly released back into the air.

"How're ya feelin', laddie?"

"Like…I'm one with nature…I guess." With an small grin on his face he flexed his hands, exploring the newfound power resting within him. A small sparrow took that moment to flap its wings and allow the thermal currents underneath its feathers to disperse, letting it drop down towards the ground to take a break. In its mind, dotted across the landscape were pointed spikes, large rocks, grass, and soil. No humans or other creatures in sight to give it a shock and make it fly away to escape.

Unable to sense the animal underneath it, the bird alighted upon Naruto's shoulder and immediately upset the delicate balance the boy had achieved. As soon as the small, clawed toes touched his skin he abruptly slipped off the rock and plummeted towards the ground with a scream. His face was on a direct angle with another spike that caused the shout to become laced with curses that cut off as Naruto braced himself.

The spike broke into pieces as his body smashed through it; a new problem presented itself as he hurtled towards the waiting ground below. It was then he impacted with the ground, raising a dust cloud that sounded as though another statue had just been lifted and dropped just for the hell of it. But despite the amount of carnage that surely should have been wrought by the height and speed he had fallen from, the demon container staggered out of the dirty blur, coughing and rubbing the shoulder he had landed on with confusion in his eyes. "That…really didn't hurt?"

"That's 'cause yer in sage mode, Naruto-chan." Pa answered, landing in front of his charge and raising his arm. "Yer body's been enhanced in a bunch o' different ways. Super strength, super defense, heightened senses...the whole deal. Now's there's one more step fer ya to take in yer senjutsu training."

"And?"

"The frog katas. I'll teach ya the way a sage spars using his sage chakra!"

Naruto was grinning like a loon. Over the next few hours the blond learned how to manipulate his sage chakra-fueled aura like an extension of his own body. Every strike, every punch, every kick…even if he missed, the opponent would still be struck with the force of a freight train as long as he had conscious control over the energy in his body. The boy knew that his career as a shinobi was going to be cranked up a few notches thanks to his new skills.

And he loved it.

Once again the sun had gone its course and disappeared beyond the horizon, giving birth to the endless cycle of bringing out the moon. A lone person with bright yellow hair still happened to be awake at the late hour, panting slightly as they stood in front of a small stream that ran near the elder's hut. Nothing else was awake it seemed, except for the sounds of nature itself and the few animals that were nocturnal. Clad in nothing but a pair of orange pants, Naruto flexed his arm before releasing the sage chakra circulating throughout his system. '_Looks like I've got it…but it's not quite perfect. I want to show everyone that I've mastered this…_'

As his eyes faded back to their original azure, a wave of exhaustion racked his body like a punch to the gut. A formerly normal face was suddenly doused in sweat as his chest heaved and heaved to take in oxygen. The repercussions of sage mode were actually rather high…if he lost the balance in the middle of a fight then he was likely done for. All the more reason for him to grow so skilled in senjutsu that he could finish a battle before he had to recharge.

A forearm was wiped across his brow as the blond sat at the edge of the stream and dipped his feet in the cool liquid. Oh it felt so refreshing. Switching over to sitting on his knees, Naruto dunked his whole head under the water before pulling it out and shaking his hair like a dog. Unknown to the resting boy he wasn't actually alone in his solitude. Lala was watching him from afar, her face and a few strands of rose-colored hair poking out of the slit in their tent. While a bit disappointed that he wasn't currently there beside her to share his odd body warmth or act like a full-body pillow to hug, the pinkette still felt joy seeing Naruto work so hard. He was really giving his all to grow stronger.

As she watched him grunt and once again sit down to meditate, Lala noticed Peke stir in her spot and slowly float over to her master. A quick slide of her arms and the little robot quickly found itself mushed into the alien's freely visible cleavage. Lala's attention was inexplicably drawn back towards Naruto though as he stood and began shadowboxing over the river. He seemed so tough...and more than just in the physical sense. Sometimes…Lala wondered if this was how her mother felt when she used to gaze at her papa. The smile on her lips grew softer at the thought of her deceased parent; Lala missed her dearly.

"**Are you well, Lala-sama?**" Peke rubbed at her optical swirls before tilting her small head upwards towards her creator.

"Of course…I just wish he would finish soon and come to bed."

"**Shall I go and ask him?**"

Lala merely shook her head and watched as Naruto crouched down with a hand tensed near his hip while the other extended diagonally towards the ground, palm facing upward. His breathing had evened out again, most likely thanks to the recovery effect of his sage chakra. She took in every movement as he flashed through the katas again and again before dropping to his hands and knees. The blond was barely able to flop over onto his back before passing out from overexerting his body. The girl was off in a flash as he slipped into unconsciousness, picking him up gently and moving his prone form back to his bed.

"**Oh dear…Naruto-dono has worked himself into exhaustion.**"

"I've never seen him train this hard before…"

"**Perhaps I should go and alert one of the others? After all he was practicing long after his training had ended for the day.**"

"No, I don't think we should wake anyone else up."

"Let him sleep." Lala actually squealed in surprise while Peke was sent careening into the air, barely flaring her small wings to allow the construct to stop its trajectory. With a quick tug of her arm she had reached out and jerked the zipper down to slip her head back out. Standing right in front of the tent with his eyes tilted towards the moon, Jiraiya had appeared like a silent ghost even as the young princess made a small noise of surprise in the back of her throat. Where the hell had he come from?

"Are…are you sure?" She had to lick her lips after the small fright had caused her mouth to run dry.

"Yes. He used to train himself into the ground all the time and only needed to sleep it off afterwards. Luckily, for once, someone was there to move him instead of leaving him to sleep outside." Lala blinked before looking down at the grass underneath them in thought. "Of course, I would have done so if you hadn't. Anyways he'll be fine, I promise."

"Were you watching too?"

The man just chuckled and continued staring up at the floating rock in the sky. "Kinda hard not to notice the brat disappearing when there's not too many places to go here. I just watched him from afar; he probably just thought I was sleeping. He might be able to sense where I am now with sage mode but that doesn't mean he can tell if I'm awake or not."

"I see…"

Her digits tenderly scraped along his scalp as she fingered his hair, a bit curious as to why he did such a thing. Jiraiya sighed and scratched his neck before lifting his wooden sandal off the cool grass to walk away. "It's just how he is. Naruto has never been thought of as a prodigy, having to rely on intense training to keep up the pace with everyone else. It's his way to do things and…it's one of the reasons I like the kid so much. Seeing a person rise up to the position they're in after starting at square one? Now that's an amazing thing. A lot more interesting than someone who can automatically do whatever they want without any effort." He finished with a small nod before finally walking away into the darkness. Lala watched him leave quietly as he faded from view before pulling her head back inside and sealing the entrance.

She just kept learning more and more about the blond who she was currently tucking into his sleeping bag. She was called a prodigy all the time…so that made her fundamentally different than Naruto. But Naruto knew that, having watched her work on or heard her talk about her inventions and ideas. In fact he sometimes even expressed how he wished he could do things like that. But he had those clones of his that could transfer experience and thought, something Lala wished she could do…ahhhhh, she was thinking too hard. Naruto liked her and she liked Naruto. They were different because every single person, both on and off the planet, was unique in their own way.

Yawning once, Lala snuggled up against the sleeping jinchuriki and closed her eyes while Peke began to shut down on her pillow. There was nothing to worry about with their relationship. The most that posed a problem was one of her other fiancé candidates somehow beating Naruto and making her dad think he was no longer worthy. But that seemed like a tiny possibility that soon slipped away as she fell asleep. No use fretting over something that wouldn't ever come to pass.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First he was nearly caught in the hot springs by the horde of bathing high-school females. Then there was the heart-racing attempt at running through the 'haunted' path created by their beachside hosts (he may not have been paired with Sairenji, but he still found her scared stiff at a later time and made it through the path with her in the end after both of their partners turned tail and fled). Next came the fiasco with the young dolphin stealing the girls' swimsuit tops so someone would chase it and help its trapped parent. And then, oh then…well…

Let's go visit the girls' room since it's our last night here, he said.

We'll get there easily and back, he said.

Dammit, Saruyama! Why the hell did Rito ever go along with his idea in the first place? Not only were they nearly caught by an instructor but those bums he considered his friends ran off and left him behind right outside of Haruna's doorway! Nearly caught by the teacher in the process…*grumble*…at least the boy's crush heard the commotion, pulled the sliding door open, saw him sprawled out on her doorstep, and pulled him inside. Luckily she had been by herself inside the space so it was only the two of them inside. No use having to be embarrassed and scrutinized by her roommates.

Rito tried to apologize for being pulled along by his buddies by the dark-haired girl merely shushed him and lightly giggled. They theorized that the orange-headed boy could wait a little bit until the teachers left the area before he himself could leave. Since it was merely the two teenagers, Rito thought about trying to once again confess to the petite girl he cared for. No Lala in sight so obviously he wouldn't be rudely interrupted for once-

-until he heard Risa and Mio right outside the door, talking about the missing pinkette that had graced his thoughts and the blond she was always hanging off of. Risa was whining a bit about how she wished Naruto was there to possibly sneak into their room when he heard the scoff and dissenting response of a third voice. Haruna finally snapped out of her trance and grabbed the male, throwing him into her cot and pulling the blanket over both of them to try and hide the boy in the bulkiness of the covers. He was positioned on her side near the wall, with a leg resting on his back and his face dangerously close to the soft and panty-clad core hidden underneath the ravenette's spa robe. Both were embarrassed but there was nothing they could do at the time. He could leave once the others fell asleep but at this rate it looked like they'd be up all night.

And so here he was, stuck listening to four different girls gossip and joke (well…two of them did. The third remained seated under her covers and occasionally answered while the fourth barely spoke and was apparently trying to sleep) with one another while he desperately tried not to have a sensory overload.

"So, Haruna…who do you like?" Rito had to stifle a noise as the girl he was hiding underneath began to fidget and twitch. Mio and Risa had taken to threatening her with groping if she didn't answer and the girl was doing her best to fend off their wandering hands. It didn't help the hidden male at all, having to lay there and watch as Haruna's thighs continuously clenched together in a rather interesting way. Let it be said that Rito Yuuki did not think of himself as a pervert; he was just thrown into many awkward situations that looked that way. Plus he was as clumsy as a newborn trying to walk for the first time. This was one of those very events…and yet he did his best to keep his eyes glued to her skin and not the white fabric sitting before him and the intimate area of the girl he was crazily attracted to.

It was pretty damn hard.

"I…uh…"

"It's a boy in our class isn't it? I've seen the looks a few of the males give you every now and then. I bet they're jealous of me getting to rub my hands all over you without repercussions."

"…you **do **know I don't like when you do that, right?"

"Details." The un-modest brunette countered, waving a hand in front of her face as she leaned back on the other. She might say that but it wasn't like Haruna ever truly barred them from doing so.

"Oooo…I think I might know who it is~." Mio grinned saucily as she stared at her friend from her own bedding. "Is it…_Rito_?" Haruna's head jerked slightly at the mention of the orange-headed boy as the shame of embarrassment bled across her cheeks, nearly gasping out loud as she felt said person buck underneath her legs. Did her friend somehow know the truth, or was she merely guessing to see Haruna's reaction? This wasn't how she wanted Rito to find out! The student thought it would be much more romantic once the time came to finally confess…and they'd be alone in the endeavor! "Ah, I'm just joking! Rito Yuuki is totally not Haruna-chan's type."

"Yeah I don't think I can see it either. He's pretty damn awkward, always tripping into people or something else. Not very mature."

"It's not like I'm looking down on him or anything…" The eyeglasses-clad, pigtail-wearing girl caught the distressed features on Haruna and quickly shook her head, getting Risa to follow suit. He was a good guy and all but they simply believed she could do better. "Rito just looks like he's not that good at taking care of girls."

It sounded as though the fourth quiet person had pulled herself out from where she had been laying to regard the others with a mild response. "If I'm correct in believing I know who these two hoodlums are talking about, then I sadly say I have to agree with their observations. I've received multiple reports at the Morals Committee meetings stating one Rito Yuuki molested them in some way, either intentionally or not."

…but more importantly…who was that voice, why did it sound familiar, and why was it making his eye twitch so much? Those were all accidents, dammit! It wasn't his fault he could trip over nothing!

"Wow. I didn't know he had it in him."

"He's not like that!" Rito shuddered as Haruna moved again, accidently forcing his chin and mouth into the junction of her knee. The warmth of the skin added to the already humid atmosphere in his hiding spot and nearly made his savior squirm. Plus, the three other teenagers in the room were now looking at her intently since she spoke out with such conviction. "Y-Yuuki-kun is very dependable, and I don't believe he purposely acts inappropriately towards girls. I trust him…completely. You should…cut him some slack, Kotegawa-san."

"I will when he stops doing shameless acts. Honestly, he's nearly as bad as Naruto Uzumaki." _That's_ who that was! Yui Kotegawa, that crazy girl from the other class that was dead set on targeting every boy that stepped out of line and did something considered to be perverted. _Especially_ his friend. Honestly, it was as if Yui had a grudge against the blond and wanted to take him down by force. She must have been placed here by their instructors to make sure each room had four students staying inside.

But…it warmed his heart to hear the girl he liked defending him so strongly against the negative criticism.

"Trust me; Naruto's no pervert. If he was then I would know."

Kotegawa's eyes narrowed somewhat as she stared at the rather nonchalant Risa. That comment did nothing to ease her distrust of the boy seeing as she knew just how bold her fellow female could be and the reputation that was known throughout Sainin High. The short-haired brunette's definition of pervert could have been heavily out of whack, downplaying the severity of Naruto's own standards. Sorry, but the amber-eyed girl would stick with her own opinion for now. Honestly, if Naruto was her male rival in disrupting the morals every upright citizen should have then the Momioka girl and her terrible views on sex and boundries were even worse.

"So you say…"

"Are you forgetting about the incident with Sasuga-sensei? He came and helped us after we all fainted and then helped you too when you ran in and tripped. He could have been mean and left you or let someone else pick you up since you seem to dislike him but instead he was a gentleman and carried you to the nurse's office."

"A _gentleman_? Hardly! He could have done something while we were all unconscious!" The very thought made Yui subconsciously cross her arms over her large breasts. The thick robe did nothing to stop her from giving a shudder. Him, pawing at her private areas while she was unable to do a thing to stop him…it added fuel to the already steady flame in the war that she held against the blond teenager.

Risa wisely decided to keep silent of when she teased him about taking a peek at her own body. It wouldn't help his defense. "Lala-chii was there too, remember? And Sasuga-sensei…even though he was gone by the time I woke up. Mikado-sensei was in the office the whole time."

"That shameless boy is sneaky…he could have copped a feel while stating he was lifting us, or-or _something_!"

"You sure are defensive about Naruto…is there…something you want to say, Kotegawa?" Yui didn't like the sudden gleam in Mio's eyes. Nor the fact that when she moved her head, the glare from the lights turned her ordinary pair of glasses into something far more sinister looking.

"W-what do you mean?"

"You keep expressly stating that Naruto is handsy when we know for a fact he's never touched any of us like that. That's Risa's job-"

"Damn straight."

"-and she's given him plenty of times to do the same right back to her, but he always gets nervous and finds a way to get out of it." Mio leaned forward suddenly, pushing at the side of her spectacles to readjust them. "It makes me think that maybe…JUST maybe…you _want_ Naruto to feel you up?" There were plenty of gasps at the revelation, none more so than Yui herself who looked to be on the edge of a horrified, revolted tantrum. Or retching. Whichever came first.

The sputtering and disgust that painted her cheeks a dark red was actually laughable up until Kotegawa finally calmed down somewhat to sneer and throw some of her long black hair over her shoulder. Tightening the belt of her hotel robe she then pulled her comforter up to her lap and stared defiantly back towards the three remaining girls. "As if I would allow him to do such an intimate thing to me. Do not try and lump with me in with the likes of that boy. My opinion of him will not change and that's that. **Goodnight**." With that said she laid back down and buried herself underneath her covers, stewing and grouching on about how she had been placed with others that did nothing but work to annoy her these last few nights.

"Sheesh…Lala-chii would have made a much better roommate."

"I wonder what those two lovebirds are up to right now? Ah…" Risa sighed dramatically while changing the subject, leaning her cheeks into the palms of her hands as she drifted off into thought again. "She and Naruto got to go off by themselves on a separate vacation…I'm jealous. Who knows what _fun_ has gone on between them? Maybe Naruto'll come back less nervous around girls?"

'_Would you all PLEASE stop jabbering and fall asleep already!_' Both Rito and Haruna were on the same wavelength, ironically thinking the exact same thing.

"Perhaps ol' blue-eyes will turn Lala-chii into a woman? I wouldn't mind being a part of that. Mmmm…" The light-haired teen got a kick out of seeing the lump where Yui was resting twitch violently. She didn't respond to the bait though causing Risa to pout cutely and snap her fingers in defeat.

**BREET! BREET! BREET!**

…wasn't that the fire alarm?

The girls immediately jumped and filed out the door, curious and a little worried as to what was going on. What they came upon was their teacher Honekawa looking around in shock as the walls continued to screech at him without fail. The old man looked ready to have a heart attack and didn't seem that far off from keeling over. "I-I was just trying to call the elevator!"

Students and adults began filling the hallways, steadily moving away to get outside. With the coast pretty much clear, the Yuuki male took in a deep lungful of cool air as he finally crawled out from underneath his prison. "Yuuki-kun, now! While you still have the chance!" Rito shook his head slightly to work out the kink in his neck and sent Haruna a grateful smile as he shot towards the door.

"Thank you for defending me, Sairenji!" Before she could answer back he was rushing out the door, intent on escaping before anyone reappeared and wondered why he was in a room that he shouldn't have been anywhere near. The committee member silently watched with a small smile on her face as he paced himself down the hallway before the droning echo cut off mid-beep. Despite the whole episode being rather discomforting, the ravenette felt a little giddy having Rito's thanks.

Student's slowly began to filter back in once the 'threat' had passed and the building was deemed suitable to enter once again. There had been no fire or cause for alarm; someone had merely pressed the wrong button on accident while trying to call the elevator.

On a separate yet still viable note; there was no elevator in the hotel.

Honekawa-sensei merely had a moment of senility. Oh well, mistakes happen. No one was hurt and the teenagers were placed back in their rooms with orders for lights out. Mio and Risa came upon Sairenji standing right outside of their doorway, staring down the hallway in the opposite direction from where everyone was coming from with a glassy look in her eye. When asked if she was okay the girl turned with some extra red in her cheeks and simply nodded before walking back inside. Shrugging to each other they followed suit. Yui was the last inside, having been one of the volunteers to make sure every student made it back inside before clicking off the light switch and sliding back into her temporary bed.

Meanwhile in Rito's room, the unfortunate boy had the same few sentences flashing around and around in his mind. Haruna really believed in him…when was he finally going to tell her how he felt? As Kenichi and the other boys walked back in to find Rito standing in the center, they quickly started prodding him with questions on what had taken place. All they could get out of him was an unsteady smile and a small shrug. Although things had gotten out of hand, this last day of their trip had been a lot different than the others.

Maybe everything hadn't been as bad as he originally thought?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

These bugs were mocking him…how dare they be so...blech! Nasty tasting. It didn't help that Lala was trying to feed him pieces of something that may have once been a praying mantis. Why couldn't there be any actual meat? Or even noodles! Sigh…the creepy-crawlies were the least of his worries though compared to what Fukasaku and Jiraiya had just told him over lunch. Unless he could somehow learn to stand completely still in a fast-paced fight, trying to enter sage mode would be useless. Duh. He could already see that. No one would just let him call a time out to start meditating before a fight…well, maybe Itachi Uchiha but that dude was weird enough already.

If he had teammates around to buy him time then it wouldn't be that tough. But if he was alone and his clones were being destroyed at an alarming rate then he'd have a much rougher time pulling it off. He really hadn't thought ahead on that, believing any large battles would allow him to draw in natural chakra first before finally entering the fray. To make up for this glaring weakness he would have to take a page out of Jiraiya's book and fall back on fusing with one of the toad elders to keep the chakra flowing. So after once again stuffing insects into his gullet, Naruto had begun his next step in training;

Trying to keep Pa stuck to his shoulder.

Thanks to a fuzzy creature trapped within his stomach, it just wouldn't work.

Every time the elder initiated the amphibian technique to meld their two bodies into one, the Kyuubi would try and force its malicious will onto Fukasaku through their new link and make him break the jutsu for fear of his very being. The next logical step? Trying to call upon the power of nature while running. It too was a failure…his body would begin changing into that of a toad since his tenketsu was attempting to go against the very basis for absorbing the outlying energy. Even Pa was huffing and puffing to try and keep up with the blond's constant attempts.

Hitting a person with a stick actually got redundant after countless tries. Who knew?

An idle comment from the old toad lit a storm of realization within Naruto, and soon there were two Uzumaki's standing in the clearing. Trying to look left and right at the same time? Impossible!...except when you know a forbidden technique that creates a clone of flesh and blood. _Those, of which, also transfer their thoughts and experiences to the creator and other copies upon dispelling. _That meant chakra as well, right? I mean, if a clone vanished it would send back any remaining chakra it possessed. And what do you know? Sage chakra completely transferred too.

Too bad, Kyuubi.

He was only able to keep the amount of meditating clones down to two. Anymore and things would get too complicated and mess up the whole absorption process. But in essence he had three trials before finally running out of steam. That was if he entered the fray while in sage mode, of course. Jiraiya was quite proud of Naruto and his unpredictable mindset. Leave it to the blond to find a loophole to make something work for him.

And now, merely five days later since the start of his training Naruto had all but mastered the toad summon's senjutsu. Such a feat was incredibly impressive, taking much less time than the sannin ever did to practice, and ascending to a higher level of being a sage than he seemingly could. Pa had said it would take time, possibly ranging in months, but the boy had shaved it down to a nearly a week. But their tenure here at Mt. Myouboku was still ongoing; Naruto still wanted to learn and Lala wished to see more ninja abilities, which now led to the new training regime.

"Again."

With a heavy grunt, Naruto clapped his hands together to once again start the chain of handseals before rearing back his head and opening his jaw as if to spit. With a stream of chakra funneling through his throat and out of his mouth, a small spray of brown oil trickled out like it had been forced through a hose. Jiraiya thought to teach him some of his own techniques based off the animals, which was why the boy was currently trying to change his energy into oil.

"One more time. Visualize kneading your chakra within your throat and mouth. Imagine it morphing into the oil and then just let it go its course. I know it feels like you're puking but that's expected."

Once again Naruto felt the goop begin to crawl up his esophagus, wondering if all techniques that were expelled from the mouth felt this way to the user. "Gamayudan (Toad Oil Bullet)!" This time the oil was thicker, looking more like mud than thin brownish water as its congealed state shot through the air. The attempt was much better than the last time but still not enough. If he wanted to learn his teacher's collaboration move then more practice was obviously needed.

"Heeeeeey~! Naruto! Ero-sennin! Look what I made!" With a swish of her tail, Lala dropped into the clearing where the two ninjas were practicing. Peke's wings retracted to normal size as the girl patted down the frills on her hips that the bodysuit gave her. The pinkette was holding something that had to be one of her inventions, bearing the same color scheme and insignia as her other 'toys'. This one was shaped like a cube with a handle on either side for easier transport. The front looked like a speaker and other than that is seemed rather plain. The wide grin she was sporting explained otherwise.

Wiping away some stray fluid on his chin, Naruto regarded her curiously. "What's that?"

"My newest invention! I call it Dizzy-shake Croak-kun!" That name didn't sound very…good. "I didn't have many materials to work with here but I'll fix that up later. Anyways, Ma and Pa showed me this cool move of theirs and I was able to copy it and store it inside!" Jiraiya instantly perked up, taking the name of her device and placing it with the fact that the elders had 'helped her'. One technique came to mind and it immediately had the man scrambling to stop the princess from turning it on.

"No, don't-!"

Too late. As soon as she flipped the switch it began to emit visible sound waves accompanied by the sound of croaking toads. The problem was, not only did the blast fan out wide enough to hit both Naruto and Jiraiya in its range but also Lala and nearly knock them off their feet from the force. Just like always there was a flaw in her design. No offense to her intellect but could she ever make one right off the bat that didn't mess up? The three of them staggered around as their senses were greatly disturbed, clutching at their ears and doing their best to fight to stay awake.

Naruto suddenly found himself flailing as his sandal touched the oil he created and slipped, losing his footing and falling face first into something squishy and soft. One hand cupped whatever he landed on while the other lashed out to steady himself, incidentally slapping Lala's machine that had been dropped to the ground and abruptly turning it off. With ears still ringing and vertigo still keeping his sense of up and down from righting itself, the jinchuriki heard a soft moan directly near his ear that caused him to rapidly blink his eyes. Was that…Lala?

"Mmmm…stop…tickles…"

As his vision returned Naruto was able to see he was lying atop his fiancé with a hand firmly attached to her chest, blush evident on her cheeks as the rather pleasurable touch was distorted by her state of distress. As greenish eyes cracked open and locked onto his own the male's brain finally registered what he was doing and jumped up to escape. Flashbacks from his earlier years came to mind and he immediately prepared himself for a beat-down.

"Gah, I'm sorry! Don't hit me!"

"Why would I hit you?" Lala giggled a bit as she sat up slowly, shaking her head lightly to rid herself of the lingering confusion. "Whooooooaaaa…I guess Croak-kun needs some more work, huh?"

"That's…the first time I've…ever been hit by the elder's Senpō: Kawazu Naki (Sage Art: Frog Call) and I hope it never happens again." Jiraiya dragged a hand down his face as he sat in the grass, unable to find any amusement in Naruto's antics due to the fact that his ears were still ringing. Lala had been able to reproduce a sound-based genjutsu that was incredibly difficult and only Ma and Pa could use it effectively. Her invention seemingly copied the technique without losing any power in its duplication. He wondered if it was usable multiple times or had to be 'recharged' with the attack? Also, if she could narrow its target area down to a widening cone like how the original worked instead of blaring it in every direction, they could have an impressive new weapon.

Seeing as no fists were heading for his face, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his arms from their defense of his vital areas (face and groin in this case). He got off safely this time…luckily the alien princess was so care-free about such things. "Those two can make that crazy sound? I felt like I was going to faint, or puke, or lose control of my body, or…well, lots of things."

"It was a genjutsu, brat. Y'know, your best subject?" Jiraiya replied sarcastically, getting a scowl out of the blond as he helped Lala back onto her feet. "That technique is used for distraction purposes and can paralyze its target, as we all just experienced. I'm surprised Lala was able to convince them to use it; they always complain that their throats get sore after use."

"**It was because they seem to adore Lala-sama.**" That got a weak grin out of Naruto, a rolling of the eyes from Jiraiya, and another round of light laughter from the sole female. "**Plus when Lala-sama stated her intentions for her newest idea they believed it to be an excellent one. Both Fukasaku-san and Shima-san expressed the negative consequence that Jiraiya-san just mentioned, and Lala-sama's invention merely needs to recharge for a time before becoming usable again.**"

"Yeah…if we were to use it in a fight it would be really handy. We'd have two shots with the Frog Call as well if Ma and Pa were there too."

"Nice, Lala-chan! Way to go!" The girl smiled warmly at her beloved's praise, pink dusting her cheeks while her tail began to wiggle around somewhat in excitement.

"All she needs to do is fix it so it hits the area in front of the machine without hitting the user also."

"She can do that. Lala's really smart like that."

"I'll get right on it! I'm glad you both like it~!" With a massive hug to Naruto that he really should have expected at this point in their relationship, the curvy girl hopped back into the air after releasing him and flew away to continue her tinkering. Somewhat amused by the sight now that his queasiness had dissipated, the toad sage crossed his arms and stared at the younger ninja. With a slight cough he grabbed Naruto's attention and pointed towards the pool of oil still soaking the ground in front of them.

"At least someone here is making progress. What happened to all that gusto that had you tearing through sage training?"

"I'm not good with this shape manipulation stuff, alright? Making my chakra into a ball for the rasengan? That's easy since the shape is simple! Turning my chakra into _gunk_? That's a lot harder!"

Jiraiya laughed out loud at his apprentice's outburst, finding humor in his anger and yet agreeing wholeheartedly. A sphere was simple to create but the oil was a whole metamorphosis that bordered on nature manipulation. It would be if oil was actually a chakra affinity. Oh well, the kid would learn. Turning neutral energy into something else took a lot of practice before it became easy."Then just wait until you get started on the second half with the Katon: Endan (Fire Release: Flame Bullet)! Changing chakra into an _actual_ element will have you bitching like crazy!"

As Naruto stuck his tongue out and restarted his work on the Gamayudan (Toad Oil Bullet), the older shinobi paused to think about what he had just said. Perhaps he should have checked what Naruto's affinity was before starting him on this? The blond would have one hell of a time trying to learn a fire attack if, by some amazing coincidence, his chakra nature was wind-based. But that was highly unlikely since fire was naturally the most expected element in Konoha and Fire Country…but this _was_ Naruto…leave it to the teenager to defy the odds somehow.

And on that note…he still had to tell Naruto about his heritage. The spawn of Minato and Kushina _had_ done it. Sage mode was mastered because the boy had worked himself to the bone and far beyond that. He'd tell him…once the younger genin finished reproducing Jiraiya's collaboration move Katon: Gamayu Endan (Fire Release: Toad Oil Flame Bullet). In the meanwhile he'd use the time to try and come up with a perfect response that would least likely end up with him sporting rasengan burns in intimate areas.

By the looks of it…he didn't exactly have as long as he hoped.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Three Days Later]

She should have known. **She should have known!** Nearly three years, three wonderful years full of one thousand and ninety-five days that were missing disaster. Sure, there were the normal snags that came with being the top ninja in the village but she worked through them. Or threw them, depending if they were physical setbacks that helped to cool her temper. But then the three year timer on her biggest problems finally decided to wind down and the headaches began anew. Tsunade Senju just wanted to close her eyes and rest…but it was not to be.

First she barely got any letters from Jiraiya. Sure, okay. They could have been somewhere where it was not a good decision to mention where they were. But then they started reappearing and WHAM! She knew it was just like old times…really annoying old times. Oh sure, the busty blonde missed Naruto and, though she wouldn't exactly say it to anyone, her fellow sannin with the voyeur problem. They brought as much comic relief to her life as possible ulcers, and were damn good punching bags when it came time for that.

So when a large cloud of smoke suddenly appeared in her office, causing the older woman to cough and sputter as her airways were clogged with the cloying vapor, she felt her heart rate increase a little quicker at the prospect of what she hoped was hidden inside. The slug summoner fanned her hands wildly to 'smack' the smoke away until finally shadows began taking shape in front of her partially hidden desk. What she wasn't expecting to see was Jiraiya with bruises and bandages covering parts of his body and an arm in a sling. With a small grin on his battered face, he raised his uninjured limb and gave her a wave.

"Yo. How's it been, Tsunade-hime?" he joked despite having been there only a few days ago.

"What the hell happened to you, Jiraiya?"

The man quickly jerked his thumb towards the scowling blond at his side, allowing the older kunoichi to finally get a live look at the wayward Uzumaki that had a hand in her headache. He had grown taller than she first believed, now seeing him face-to-face. His old jumpsuit was gone, replaced by one that wasn't _as_ much of an eyesore as his first one along with a large scroll strapped to his back just like the toad sage. What made her do a double-take was the fact that he now wore a short-sleeved red jacket with black flames at the bottom that made her think without a doubt that Naruto was a spitting image of the Yondaime. He too was sporting some injuries and medical tape, though not as much as Jiraiya most likely thanks to his tenant.

And that was when she finally saw the root of her current problem; this Lala Satalin Deviluke. The long-haired pinkette was dressed in a pair of white short-shorts, sandals, an odd looking hairclip, and a ruffled red t-shirt. She really did look like her apprentice except for, you know, the more womanly curves and longer hair. "Hello, Baa-chan." she heard Naruto say evenly, drawing her attention back to the miffed-looking teen standing in her office.

"It's good to see you again Naruto." She smiled genuinely before turning to the girl at his side. "And so you must be Lala…" Her face grew shadowed as she turned her honey-brown eyes towards the female. "You've actually caused me quite a bit of trouble around here."

"How? She's never even been here before!"

Well this wasn't going as she had hoped at all. Lala looked extremely confused, Naruto had stepped slightly in front of her with the clear intention to protect, and Jiraiya had gone over to seat himself on her sofa. The look he sent her spoke volumes; _you're on your own for this one._

"It's due to…word getting around of your engagement."

"And how did that happen?" he asked rather icily.

"When…we received your last letter entailing that you were engaged, both Shizune and Sakura were here. I was too shocked by the idea that I couldn't stop Sakura from speaking about it…Ino sped up the process greatly." Now that just caused a muscle to jump in Naruto's jaw. Normally he wouldn't have been so angry about the blonde Yamanaka just gossiping like she always did but he had been on edge lately with the adults in his life.

"So what's the damage?"

"Other than the fact there are villagers out there wanting to save the girl from the marriage they think you forced her into? Pretty much the same I suppose. They likely won't recognize you at the moment but that may not last long."

Naruto's scowl deepened as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Of course. Can't let the demon boy start a family or whatever, right?" Upon seeing the Hokage's slightly widened eyes and raised eyebrow, the boy actually scoffed. "What? It's not like I'm revealing anything new to the people in the room. You know, Ero-sennin knows, I obviously know, and Lala knows because it's something she would need to hear since she still wants to be my wife or whatever. As you can see, she was clearly fine with hearing about it."

Tsunade nearly winced, feeling as though she could now understand why the two males appeared injured and Naruto seemed pissed. Turning to her seated teammate Tsunade sighed lightly and rubbed the blue diamond marking upon her forehead. "You really told him didn't you?"

"He mastered sage mode in an amazing amount of time. I even got him to learn the Toad Oil Flame Bullet…remind me to get some chakra paper because I can already tell you the boy is nothing close to a fire type. We'd have been here sooner if he didn't have so much trouble creating flames."

"Why didn't you tell me who my parents were?" Naruto suddenly took a step forward, fists clenched at his sides while the whiskers on his cheeks had taken on a rougher, darker look. A trickle of foul energy had wormed its way into his system but not enough for either of the more experienced ninja to take action. They were still on guard however. "All that time I was alone wondering, no, _wishing_ to know who the hell gave birth to me? Always hearing I was a bastard, or that I was abandoned, or that they didn't love me! Living by myself except the rare times when the Old Man came to visit? That was like maybe once a month! I had to act outrageously nearly every damn day just to make someone angry enough to get them to acknowledge that I existed!"

Lala had moved behind her fiancé as he started to become tenser and tenser, molding herself against his back while inadvertently keeping him in his spot. Like Ma had once said before, she was good for him. He subconsciously didn't want to hurt her despite the girl having strength and toughness that far exceeded even that of a ninja. Instead of giving into his anger and leaping over the desk at the village's leader which would have turned into an all-out destructive brawl, he stayed rooted to his spot while instead having his eyes slowly turn red. With unshed tears in her own green irises the alien merely did her best to convey her feelings within her embrace.

"I have no excuse, Naruto. Sarutobi-sensei had in effect that-"

"That I wouldn't be told until I was a chunin or older. Yeah, whatever!" Naruto began breathing deeply to try and calm himself. With his chest heaving the blond swiftly rubbed a forearm over his eyes and scrubbed. After a few quiet moments Naruto pulled the arm away to once again reveal bright blue eyes that were still apprehensive. With his already coarse voice cracking, the blond softly tapped Lala's arms to get her to let go. "I don't even have a small ranking anymore…I'm a goddamn sage. I love you Baa-chan. I really do…but next time something like this happens, I'm kicking your ass just like I kicked the pervert's. I won't forgive you then. Let's go, Lala-chan…I'm hungry and I want something else in my stomach besides bugs."

"O…okay!" With a small pouted glare at the large-breasted woman that was apparently Naruto's grandmother (she'd have to ask him more about that) the pinkette turned and flounced out of the room after the jinchuriki. At least Tsunade could see the growing connection between the two teenagers…it reminded her of herself and Dan all those years ago. She also saw that 'tail' thing poking out of Lala's shorts which only made her grow more confused.

"You didn't kick my ass, brat! Stop lying to yourself! And come back when you've cooled off!" Jiraiya was at the door, yelling out at the fading footsteps before grunting and shaking his fist. He dropped back onto the couch with a sigh and stretched out his legs to work away some of the stiffness that remained. "He'll do it too, Hime. I'm surprised we didn't level all of Mt. Myouboku when he came at me in sage mode. Senjutsu versus senjutsu…Bunta and his buddies were dragged into it and after that it sorta gets hazy but I _know_ I smacked him around more than he did me."

"Enough. Just…now that you're here to stay, tell me everything about that girl. And I mean **everything**. No bullshitting, Jiraiya." she groaned, already pulling out the alcohol. She didn't feel like taking on a pissed-off jinchuriki with sage skills that was out for her blood. Luckily there wasn't any other massive secrets in her mind that would bring about such a scenario, so all-in-all they were good for now. "I can see she really cares for the little fool and Naruto actually seems to be fine with her hanging off of him." The sannin took a quick swig of her drink. "Also, what the hell was up with that tail?"

"Would you believe me if I said that her father has the power to destroy our planet and would do it on a whim if he felt like Naruto wasn't worthy of her?" Tsunade's eyes remained neutral though he could clearly see she thought he was spouting nonsense. "Seriously. And give me some of that. I'm clearly in need to be taken care of." He received a bottle to the forehead protector in response that was quickly snatched on the rebound.

"There." she chirped while taking out another.

"Thanks. At least you left me some and it didn't shatter. Now get ready for one hell of a tale. Sometimes I can barely believe it's happening and I'm actually living it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"HELLOOOOO, KONOHA! IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!"

With a wide grin on his face and coat flapping in the breeze, Naruto stood atop a wooden power pole to receive an aerial view of the village. As soon as he had stepped outside with Lala his mood had dropped off into something more tolerable. Seeing the nostalgic sights outside the Hokage Tower had him brighten up, even seeing the old woman's face now carved into the large mountain that was a Konohagakure landmark. His giddiness rose as they walked through the crowded streets before the blond couldn't take it anymore and swiftly sprinted up the nearest structure and shouted out at the top of his lungs. Giggling to himself he jumped back to ground level in front of the smiling female he was responsible for and continued grinning right back.

"Wow, Naruto! You were so grumpy before but that changed quickly!"

"Yeah well…even with all the bad memories, this place is still my home and I missed it." Lala nodded her head quickly, feeling the same way with her own planet and house. Sure she loved it there with Naruto and Ero-sennin and all her new friends…but that didn't stop her from missing her sisters and bedroom and servants and yes, even her dad, though the monarch was the reason she ran away in the first place. "So let's go! I have to introduce you to the best ramen makers in the world!" As Lala pulled herself close and onto his arm, she grew puzzled as Naruto suddenly stopped and pointed an arm towards a nearby tree. "Ha! No sneaking up on me this time!"

"I'm impressed. I thought I'd get to throw a little scare into one of my cute little students on his return but then again you're not so small anymore." Lala's head twisted so fast Naruto was slapped in the face with her long flowing hair that caused him to sputter and make the newcomer chuckle. What she discovered was a tall, lanky man with grey, spiky hair casually leaning up against the rough bark. His left eye was covered by a blue headband with the same plate as Naruto's while the other was glued onto one of those books that Naruto's guardian wrote. The male wore a dark blue bodysuit and green flak jacket, sandals, fingerless gloves with metal plates, pouches that were the same as the ones Naruto had strapped to his body, and a mask that covered his lower face.

Shaking his head to free himself, Naruto just continued grinning and scratched at his neck. "Ha! Well as you can see Kakashi-sensei, I've gotten a lot stronger!"

"So I see…I like the jacket. It makes you look more mature." Kakashi snapped the hardcover novel shut and slipped it into his back bag before placing his hands in his pockets. He gave the girl on Naruto's arm a once-over before smiling (Lala believed he was; at least that's what his uncovered eye seemed to be doing) and nodding his head thoughtfully. "She's cute. Are you going to introduce me?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Kakashi-sensei, this is Lala. Lala, he was my old teacher before Ero-sennin took over. As for the coat…I first got it from Ma and Pa for completing my training but then later I learned it also made me look like dad." The slight jump in the jounin's eye caused Naruto's own azure orbs to narrow. "So you knew too…"

"How did you find out?"

"Ero-sennin thought I was strong enough now. And it's not like I'm going to go around yelling it out." At least not yet. "I'm just happy knowing I had parents…and awesome ones at that! Now come on, let's all go get some ramen!"

Kakashi was taken aback, expecting much more of an outburst from his former pupil than what had just taken place. Yes he knew Naruto was the son of Minato and Kushina. He was ordered by the Sandaime to keep quiet on the matter because he was the Yondaime's student and therefore could make the connection between the jinchuriki and his family much quicker than anyone else. He may have not done much in the way of the genin's training but sadly he had to keep an eye on Sasuke. The boy's mental condition was always in question and he figured coaching the Uchiha would rein him in, no matter how much it pained him to do that to The Fourth's legacy.

He was wrong.

In doing so he pretty much neglected Naruto (not that he was much of a teacher anyways. He took the job originally because he just wanted to watch over Naruto) and still lost Sasuke to the darkness. Taking plenty of missions after the Kyuubi's attack just kept him out of the village repeatedly for years and unknowingly away from the young boy. When he got back and eventually retired from ANBU, he saw the young energetic blond at the academy and went straight to the Sandaime with question after question clouding his brain.

The rest was simple history.

It did him good to see Naruto still able to smile after all he had gone through in his life. '_You really have grown, eh Naruto? Your parent's would really be proud of you. I know I am._'

"You coming or not?" Naruto's question broke him out of his stupor and made him chuckle.

"Yes. Just surprised by the maturity you've gained while out of the village." Falling in step with the two adolescents, the sharingan-user took a peek at Lala and slightly nudged the shorter male with his elbow. "So that's your fiancé huh? She looks a lot like Sakura."

"Yeah, well…Lala was the one who proposed. The story's pretty crazy and you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I guess I'll have to thank Ino for letting everyone else know." he finished sarcastically. "They may look the same but their personalities are different."

"She doesn't hit you I take it?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"So it's true."

"I would never hit Naruto, Scarecrow-san! I like him a lot! A _lot_ lot!" Kakashi slouched at Lala's declaration, falling behind a few steps before returning to their side. It wasn't his fault he was thin and tall…and his name parodied that of a dummy that tended to keep birds at bay. But she did prove his point! Especially with how she pressed herself into his body and made him grow flustered…ooooh.

"That's good to know, Lala-san. And I thank you for giving me teasing material. You never know when I'll have to use it on a knucklehead like blondie here." This time it was Naruto who faltered as Kakashi tousled his hair and pouted. That was before he grinned rather wickedly at the shinobi at his side. Kakashi didn't like that look. It was…rather frightening to see on one who was considered a prank god around these parts.

"Tease me all you want, Kakashi-sensei. Just so you know at some point you and I are going to have to fight. After all I'll need to see if I can beat your ass for once now that I'm much stronger, and I owe you one for keeping the secret from me. Sage training was one hell of a training regimen and it needs to be tested against more than just Pa." Palms rubbed together deviously as Naruto pushed through the low-hanging curtain that acted as the entrance to Ichiraku Ramen. Lala was quick to follow, giving the jounin ninja a look that was equal parts disappointment and pity. Kakashi was frozen in his spot at Naruto's parting jab, his mind going blank except for the one sentence he had said.

**Sage training**

**Sage training **

**Sage training**

Well, shit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Gimme a miso ramen and keep 'em coming! I am frickin' starving over here!"

The old man running the food stall looked over from his spot checking ingredients and paused, staring at the blond walking into his small building with exuberance. Recognition instantly dawned after a few seconds and the man known as Teuchi Ichiraku smiled warmly while wiping his hands on a nearby towel. "Well, well, well! Look who finally decides to come on back for a meal! I thought you'd never return, my boy!"

"Nothing could ever keep me away from here! Eh? Where's Ayame?"

The elderly man laughed and shook his head before moving off to start Naruto's order. That is, until he finally realized there were two other people now seated next to the blond. One was Kakashi, a man that would stop by very infrequently and yet still ordered the same thing every time. The other…Teuchi had a feeling he knew who this was. Aw, she was a cutie. "She had the day off today. Hello Kakashi. I'll get your usual order ready, yeah?" The man simply nodded, his covered nose already stuck back in his book. "And for the young miss?"

Lala perked up and began looking through the nearby menu, occasionally asking Naruto a question about the food. Finally the pink-haired princess requested the pork ramen and happily began humming as she watched the blond she cared for speaking animatedly with the two other people in the stall. What she had discovered over time, as well as currently seeing it in action, was that Naruto turned people around him into something of a pseudo-family. It clicked in her mind why he called that Tsunade woman his grandmother then…even though she was really pretty and didn't have a wrinkle in sight. He was at ease around these people. Not that he wasn't like that around her; it just seemed more _natural _here.

As their food was placed before them, Lala hoped that one day soon she would be a part of that too.

Naruto had already started on his third bowl of noodles when he heard the curtains flap again and an exasperated voice fill the stand. "There you are Kakashi-sensei! You always disappear at the worst times and…and…Naruto?"

At the mention of his name and the familiar, lilting sound reaching his eardrums the blond craned his neck to look behind. The few thin strands of food hanging down his chin were quickly dropped in shock as his jaw fell open. Standing there in the opening was the girl that had started off the shit-fest within Konoha, the one who still couldn't help but cause Naruto's heart to speed up both in excitement and confusion. She looked rather shaky herself and yet there was an amazed smile on her face. With eyes wide open in surprise and her hands clenched against her chest the female remained frozen while staring at the returned ninja.

"S-Sakura-chan…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Omake: Toad Battle Royale Aftermath

It was _actually _scary, as if her father had gone off on one of his tantrums. She and Naruto had been listening to Jiraiya speak about something big when suddenly she was grabbed by both Fukasaku and Shima and told to stay within their hut until it was safe again. The ground had been shaking for what seemed like hours and there were explosions, crazy lightshows, loud noises and yelling, and general discord on the mountain. The elders' house remained untouched though and all Lala could do was just sit and wait.

But now all was quiet and both she and Peke wondered if it was okay to go outside yet. Ero-sennin had looked very grave when he pulled Naruto aside for a private talk but the jinchuriki had allowed Lala to come along. Jiraiya merely sighed at the boy's decision but conceded to his wishes anyways. Things seemed to get pretty tense as the more experienced ninja began talking about something that seemed to cause Naruto to go into a catatonic state:

His parents.

Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki. The Fourth Hokage and his amazingly strong wife. Two well-known shinobi, both in and out of Konoha, and they both had been beyond excited for Naruto to be born. He himself had been named after a character in one of the sannin's books due to Minato's decision. Jiraiya was Naruto's godfather too because of that choice…but the male already saw him as something like that. But now it seemed it was actually official.

Lala had been quite happy for Naruto, knowing that he had a mom and dad that truly cared for him even though they no longer seemed to be around. Then she remembered Naruto's story about how this Yondaime man had sealed that big fox animal into Naruto and it made her realize his own dad had done the deed. So he must have died somehow in the fight…that was really sad…and his mother too. The alien nearly started crying herself at how tragic it all seemed.

Then all hell broke loose.

Naruto was no longer in her grasp, blazing towards Jiraiya with an unintelligible scream and a punch that destroyed the ground where the toad sage had formerly been standing. As soon as she realized the boy was in a fury she was pulled away by Ma with Pa on their tails. Placed inside of the hut where the two resided, Lala was told to stay put until they came back for her. Her head perked up as she heard the small door click open and Shima waddle back inside with a forlorn look on her face. That wasn't good.

"Is it done? Can I go back?"

Ma slowly waved her hand and motioned towards the door. "Yeah, sure. Ah need to start up on dinner anyways. Jus' be mindful of 'em all when ya get back to the spot; they're all in a delicate sorta mind at the moment."

"Is…is Naruto-kun okay?"

"Physically? He'll heal like always. But emotionally…that's prolly gonna take some time and help. Go an' show him yer support, girly."

She slipped out with a nod and promise to do so, flying back to where she had originally left the others. She felt worried and apprehensive, hoping no one was too injured. She wasn't much of a healer and even though Peke had a nurse's outfit in her reservoir Lala knew it would be of little use. But as the princess descended back towards the ground…she wasn't expecting to find Naruto, Jiraiya, Fukasaku, Gamabunta, Gamakichi, Gamatatsu, Gamaken, and Gamahiro all settled around a humongous cracked sake bottle halfway lodged in a crater, drunk off their asses. Each of them sported wounds and blood, some more so than the others, but the lot of them were laughing and arguing and just generally acting drunk. The whole swamp area was an unidentifiable battleground. Poor Lala was immensely confused.

"Wha-? H-hey! *hic* Hey, Lala-twaaan!" Naruto began waving furiously at her, doing his best to focus on the girl as she walked forward cautiously. All those present were (technically) looking at her and the curvaceous teenager was actually starting to feel self-conscious from their looks.

"Hi, um…weren't you fighting?"

The oldest toad there burped and wobbled in his spot, spilling some of the liquor he held in an appropriate sized cup. "They was…slingin' around all kindsa big…moves 'er somemat…idiots…"

"La-Lalala! Lala! Yell at the…little bastard! He…*hiccup*! He, uh…tried to kill muh with schlade mode! Sage mode! That's it!" Jiraiya was pointing accusingly at the blond sitting near him with his good arm, the other just dangling uselessly at his side. Everyone's clothes were torn and ragged but still seemed in good spirits regardless.

"Wuh-well maybe if ya wernt a BUTTFACE and just, uh, just told me about my fother and mather then I wouldn'ta got and a…uhhhh wait. _Gone_ and hurt ya!" One of Naruto's eyes was swollen closed and a messy streak of blood went from his temple to his neck. There was even soil and grass in his hair. "Plus you gots Ma and Pa to help!"

"Cuz I needs them fer my senjuju, brat!" Lala watched as the two head-butted each other, trying to dominate the other and make them tumble but in the end they both were too inebriated and toppled over regardless. Gamabunta and even the ever quiet Gamahiro began laughing, a great rumbling in the sky as large quantities of sake fell onto the ground like an outrageous rain storm. The others were lucky they weren't miraculously drowned in the aftermath as the boss amphibian tried to refill his massive saucer while nudging his fellow Toad Triad members.

"**Oh god, I'm sho glad we finnly gots ta share that drink! Nartu…Naruto, yeah that's it…I neededed to get somethin' waaaaaaay alcoholic to get the kid drunk…it worked!**" Bunta's eyes crossed as he leaned bodily against the still stock-still purple toad. "**Ehhhhh…gotta…remember to thank the fire toad fer his licker-LIQUOR…**"

"Heyyyyy, Lala…help me back to da tent…I needs to lays doon…" Lala actually heard Peke sigh as Naruto held his arms out like a young child wanting to be picked up. The robot in hat form was slapped lightly as the girl helped lift Naruto to his feet and began walking him back towards their current lodging. A few wolf whistles and cat calls marked their exit, mostly slurred and not very effective but it got Naruto to flip them all off before holding tighter to Lala so as to not fall to the ground.

"I hate you, ya pervert! You smell!"

"YOU SMELL!"

"**I cannot believe Naruto-dono is actually intoxicated. They go from intense battle straight to sharing drinks and belittling each other…**"

"Isn't that better than them trying to hurt each other?"

"**They **_**did**_** hurt each other, Lala-sama. Naruto-dono the most. We heard the story…they withheld information on his parents for years despite knowing full well who they were.**" Naruto seemed to mumble something as he was laid down and covered by his blanket. She had taking care of his quite a lot lately; it was almost like the future where she was finally a wife! The pinkette bent over down to hear, placing her ear near his cracked and bleeding lips so as to see what he was trying to say. It was rather quiet seeing as the blond appeared to be nodding off but she was able to decipher his murmurs.

"Heart hurts...I have parents though…heh, awesome ones…famous…"

Searching through her bag for a rag to moisten, Lala found herself sporting a pleased smile at her favorite candidate's proclamation. She wished that she could have met this Kushina and Minato herself but sadly that was no longer possible. But the way Jiraiya spoke of them…they really wanted Naruto to be born so they could coddle and spoil him. Once again, it just made the alien know that she had to wed him and bring him into her own. His extended family would grow and that would be great for everyone!

"Huh…wuzzat? I can't see! Oh…whoopsie…eyes were closed…"

Before Lala started laughing at his silly drunken act, she swear she heard her automaton creation whisper something that sounded suspiciously like the word 'men'.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Back in Konoha, here we go. They'll be there for a bit before heading back to wherever To-Love-Ru takes place…is it called Sainin? Well, whatever. I had some trouble with this chapter…not sure why. But yeah, here. Not much in this note._


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 8:

Well this was awkward.

Bright blue eyes were locked unblinkingly against jaded green. Another pair of greenish orbs was ping-ponging back and forth between the two in confusion and dawning realization. One lone black iris was stuck inside of a sea of paper pages, acting as if nothing else mattered except absorbing the sentences before it and committing them to memory while inconspicuously taking in the whole juicy situation.

"You're really back." Sakura said again, breaking the hypnotic hold that had fallen over everyone while also stating the obvious. The blond finally blinked and wiped away the stray broth at his chin. It was then the pinkette noticed more than just the jinchuriki's presence and that he was injured and laden with a humongous scroll, especially when he turned around and stood up from his stool. "And you…look so different."

"Well yeah, I had to grow up just like everyone else." He laughed a bit and rubbed his neck, even with the annoyance he felt towards Sakura as Tsunade's words came back to him. There was a possibility that dropping the bomb of him getting married could have been a lot rougher by initially keeping it under wraps but his crush went and spilled the beans prematurely without caring what the two involved would want. His ire was suppressed even more upon becoming aware of Lala's gentle hand pressed up against the small of his back between the scroll and jacket. Perhaps to show her support, perhaps to show in some way that she was involved with the ninja, or perhaps because that was just Lala and her innate pleasantness and concern. Sakura noticed the gesture and was unsure how to feel about it; after all, it wasn't like she had any designs of her own on the boy. But he was her friend and fellow teammate and the duo had been forced through a lot together.

That meant something, even competing against love.

However, her own personal needs still had to be fulfilled. Especially now that the boy that once pined for her unconditionally had finally returned home. There had been a few men that had tried to court her over the years but the 'flings' as Ino called them were never very long or personal. Without Sasuke around (who was still a sore and confusing subject) she had focused greatly on her career, and without her whisker-marked colleague there to step in and give her attention, the medic had felt a profound loneliness. "What about me? Do I look more womanly?" The kunoichi struck a pose, finger resting against her cheek as her body language turned more bashful. Naruto merely laughed again, grinning widely as his good-nature and well-meaning shone through and he gave his opinion.

"Nope! You look fine! Haven't changed at all, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura's fist clenched and Naruto subconsciously took a step back in confusion as the girl's temper flared. But the emotion was swiftly crushed as nostalgia overcame annoyance and a fond smile appeared on the slimmer pinkette's lips as she realized something. Three years later and her friend still had the same optimistic (yet simple-minded) mindset. "Even though you may look more mature…you really haven't changed at all." Sakura's eyes finally broke from staring at Naruto's face and looked towards the pretty pink-hair holding onto the boy. Marking her territory or something? "And so, this must be…"

The demon container followed her line of sight to the girl at his back and it made Naruto grin as his lingering irritation finally dissipated, pulling Lala to her feet and gesturing towards her all in one sweeping motion. "Ah right, sorry! Sakura-chan, this is Lala-chan. Long story short, I'm supposed to be marrying her. It's all really crazy and I'm pretty sure I can't mention it…yeah, classified."

"Hello!" The princess chirped, bowing in a way that made her chest juggle as she was finally eased into the conversation. Sakura's eyes inevitably watched the bounce and she repressed an urge to twitch in response. Was she even wearing a damn bra? Around those such as Ino and Hinata, she already felt inadequate and don't even get the kunoichi started on Tsunade and those watermelons embedded under her chest. At least Tenten wasn't _that_ much bigger in the endowment department than Sakura was. And yet, now there was this girl at her blond squad-mate's side with her much desired curves.

Without realizing it, Sakura had folded her arms underneath her minor bust to try and make them pop as she cocked a narrower hip to the side. Her own feminine pride was on the line here, what with this other female and her obviously better family genes flaunting themselves by way of her body type. She had to squash the urge to reach out and fix that one bob of her hair that defied gravity too. This Lala seemed way too chipper though…perhaps that was why her fellow pinkette was able to stand being around the Uzumaki teenager for long periods of time. After all they were to be wed and that involved copious amounts of spending moments together-

Wait a second.

It was then Naruto's words echoed throughout Sakura's mind, replaying as her highly intelligent and gifted mind reanalyzed his exact wording. One couldn't rise to the position of the Hokage's newest apprentice in the medical field without being able to catch even the smallest of snags. Missing even one error could later cause a patient to bleed out, or overdose from the wrong prescription. The two before her seemed as if they were at ease with each other but Naruto's fiancé was clinging to his side almost as if he were some type of possession. Naruto's own posture had grown imperceptible stiffer at the girl's closeness.

"Naruto," she began, grabbing his attention with the way her voice held a tinge of worry. "What did you mean by '_supposed to be marrying her_'? And classified? How can the events leading up to one's engagement be considered so secret they couldn't say anything? I understand if the two of you wanted to keep it low key for now but..." The blond grimaced as he felt Lala shudder against his side, most likely fighting the urge to boast about their first meeting and the following events that culminated in their betrothal. The curvy pinkette had become smoother at keeping her extraterrestrial heritage a secret, he would give her that. But Sakura's voice sounded rather accusing as if she were hinting that Lala had duped him into their commitment.

Technically she wasn't that far off the mark.

"Wait, wait…I still may not be one-hundred percent sure I want to get married now but we're still together…or however it works." Naruto said, waving his hands around to assuage her suspicions.

"And I'm doing my best to get Naruto to feel for me the same way I do for him!" The princess' beaming smile earned itself an embarrassed grin, causing the medic's questioning brow to quirk even higher. None of this was making sense. Sakura would admit that the headstrong shinobi likely felt some attraction towards this other girl. But from what she was able to gather, Lala was the one who had started the mystery between them and Naruto was torn between following through or cutting himself loose.

There were too many unknowns to find a solution. She may have liked a good puzzle but this was something more up Shikamaru's alley. "I…see…" Her unconvincing tone created a silence that descended upon the food stall, up until a fourth voice cleared its throat followed a cough. Oh right…they weren't alone within the diner.

"I do believe we've been forgotten." Kakashi expressed, turning a page in his book with a slight rustling of paper. Inexplicably, his plate and drink were both empty. Teuchi merely chuckled from his spot behind the counter and gestured with the rag in his hand before shrugging.

"Eh, youngsters get too engrossed in their own little worlds all the time. I blame the hormones." With a click of his tongue the ramen chef scooped up the used food items and whisked away to the back room. The distraction was much needed though, as it allowed Sakura to gather her scattered thoughts. Now composed the Haruno recalled her original intent for traveling to Ichiraku Ramen and turned to her former ninja teacher. The man still had his masked nose stuck in that book of his but she could see him focus his attention upon her with a minor twitch of his ear.

"Oh right. Sorry, Kakashi-sensei. What was it you summoned me for?"

The copy ninja only tilted his head to the side before finally clapping the novel closed and sliding it into his pouch for safe-keeping. "Well." he began, cupping his chin eerily reminiscent of the first time Team 7 had met together in the classroom, "Originally I was going to see if you wanted to join me on a mission for old time's sake but with the appearance of our other member, that changes things. I suppose we'll have to go through a combat simulation to see how much our teamwork needs polishing since Team 7 is nearly back together. We've got a job to do, yeah?"

Sakura's calm from before had morphed into budding excitement as she realized what the one-eyed shinobi was hinting at but a look of confliction crossed over the Uzumaki's face as his lower lip jutted out in heavy thought. "Right now? I'm supposed to head back and see Baa-chan after showing Lala around."

"W-what? But Naruto, now that you're here shouldn't we start preparing to find Sasuke?"

"Don't get me wrong, I still want to find Sasuke and bring him back for you but…we're only visiting…and I'm still not strong enough." Naruto vaguely thought he heard Kakashi clear his throat, sounding suspiciously like the word 'sage'. "I still have things to do back in Japan. It's just that…I guess my priorities have changed somewhat now." Sakura's former enthusiasm had all but died as it was replaced by a look of heartbreak, doing its job of slowly breaking the blond's own though his conviction reminded him that it could have been her trying to sway his decision. Still, she really had no idea how conflicted he was feeling at the moment.

"But…you're finally back. We can find Sasuke-kun and reunite Team 7! You're stronger, I'm stronger, and we have Kakashi-sensei this time!" Sakura flinched in betrayal as blue eyes turned downcast and he looked away, blocked from view by his messy hair and all but cementing his decision in her mind. Without another word the teenager spun and ran away in a hurry, taking to the rooftops and soon hopping out of view to put as much space in between them as she could. Naruto was already halfway out the cloth flaps when a gloved hand locked onto his shoulder and kept him from turning everything into a frenzied pursuit.

"Let her be, Naruto. It's hard for her to hear but…well. I would like to reunite Team Seven just as much as you both but it's not healthy to obsess over something." Kakashi had no need to mention how utter fixation had dropped the rogue Uchiha onto his current manic path. "It's nice to hear that you still hold your promises close to your heart but for now, just give Sakura some time. Emotions are already high enough. She hasn't seen you in nearly three whole years and missed having you around, not to mention learning that you're to be married and suddenly popping back unannounced without giving her any time to respond. It's a lot to take in so suddenly."

The sage looked at his teacher, gazing silently into the man's face before exhaling slowly through his nose. It hurt to do that to someone he cared for. But maturity came with a price, and the blond had learned he couldn't satisfy everyone no matter how much he wanted to. Although…he still fell back into that trap quite on more than one occasion. "Oh…okay…"

"For now why don't you continue showing Lala around the village? Like you said, things changed. You have someone new in your life and other things that need to be done first." Kakashi's droopy eye was smiling again and it caused a much weaker one to grow on the jinchuriki's lips. Releasing Naruto he turned and regarded Lala with a quick look. "It was nice to meet you. Take care of him; lord knows he needs all the help he can to be kept in line."

"Oh…okay! Nice to meet you too!" The jounin waved before vanished in a plume of summoned smoke, marking his exit and a sigh from Naruto as he slumped back into his chair while Lala followed suit. Sadness was radiating off of the boy and it was causing the pinkette's chest to tighten.

"Well that could've gone better, yeah?" Pursing his lips, he scratched at his bandages and finally shook his head derisively. "I guess I'll just show you some of the other places I like."

"Before you do that I believe you owe me some money, buddy." Teuchi called out in jest, having snuck back out to the counter sometime during the confrontation. He may have been joking but his wrinkled face belied his true emotions; the older man felt pity for his favorite customer. Good ol' Gama-chan was soon taken out of its hiding spot but the blond shinobi paled upon looking at the currency resting inside. Nothing but yen coins and bills.

"Oh crap! And Kakashi-sensei-gah, that bastard left us and skipped his bill again! Ehhh…can you just send it all to Jiraiya?" At the chef's nod Naruto sighed in relief, his former foul mood dissipated somewhat thanks to his old teacher's customary aloofness. And for being a cheapskate. But the toad sage would be footing the payment since he had all the money anyways so that wasn't so bad. With a small push he was back on his feet and grabbing at Lala's hand to get her to follow him. Saying goodbye, the duo set off for the next destination on the list (which would hopefully be more tranquil this time around).

Next stop? His old apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Konohagakure Ninja Academy. The very building where young shinobi hopefuls learned the basics for their choice of profession. Sakura always felt at ease whenever she entered the fenced-in grounds. Perhaps it was because she had been the top female in her class and gave her a sense of superiority…but the place helped soothe her troubled mind whenever she was burdened with a problem. It was that reasoning as to why the female believed her body had dragged her to the school's rooftop without her mind consciously making the decision.

Her jade eyes remained unfocused, even as a new presence hopped into existence a few steps behind Sakura, calling her name uncertainly and in confusion. "-ura! Hey, Forehead! Are you even in there?" The pinkette felt more than saw the hand nearing her larger-than-normal brow and she balked, spinning around with her fists ready to cause damage. Tension was high but the sight of one of her friends jumping back in alarm forced her to calm herself with mild success.

The girl before her breathed a sigh of relief as Sakura dropped her hands and bit her lip hard enough to cause indentation in the skin. Her arms were quivering and her eyes were tightly shut, silently exclaiming to Ino Yamanaka that the medical kunoichi was doing her best not to suddenly break down right then and there. With a flick of her wrist the female sent her waist-length blond ponytail over her shoulder as the fringe continued to shadow her right pale-blue iris and pale white skin. Purple fabric crinkled as she slowly walked back towards Sakura, subconsciously readjusting her midriff-baring blouse and apron-skirt/mini-skirt underneath after the quick physical exertion of escaping a fist to the jaw. Whereas the girl had been a cutie before, she had turned into a bombshell in the span of a few years. Add in the red hair clip at her temple, stud earrings, fishnet warmers at her knees and elbows, ninja sandals, and pouches, the kunoichi completed her desirable look.

"Geez, girl. What's got you so out of whack? Why were you tearing through town so quickly?" The mind-reader had witnessed the girl jumping from rooftop to rooftop as if she had been running to escape something terrible. When Sakura finally lifted her chin to look at Ino she was able to see the despair in her features.

"I-it's…ugh. Naruto's…back." she said quietly, her voice taking on a soft tint. The mention of the missing blond actually drew a smile on Ino's pretty face as she sidled up next to the other female and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Really? He finally decided to get his butt back here? Wow, I wonder what he looks like now."

Sakura sent the blonde a shrewd glance out of the corner of her eye, confused by Ino's response and pep. Her words were accusing and anyone could clearly tell she was suspicious of the attractive female. "Why do you care?"

Ino just scoffed and rolled her eyes but the smile stayed in place. "I can't be excited to see one of my old friends?" Barring the fact that the two weren't exactly friends? "Naruto actually proved he wasn't as big of an idiot as we all thought. The Chunin Exams, finding Tsunade-sama, the last…mission before he left for three years. Sakura, he's like family to the toad summons! That's insane! And trained by Jiraiya-sama too! Even with all the improvement I've done it's still pathetic compared to his standards. I feel pretty terrible knowing how we all treated him back in the academy." she finished, ticking off the points on her fingers before placing her hands against her hips. All of those who were in the familiar genin teams felt remorse in some way. Either from not getting to know him better because he already seemed content enough with just having others to interact with, or even acknowledging him as more than just a nuisance. Now that Naruto had been gone for years the gap he left behind could easily be felt by those still in the village.

"Yeah…"

"But! This isn't about me! What did that blockhead do already to get you so down in the dumps that you had to escape to here?"

With a long, drawn-out sigh Sakura relayed the tale of what happened back in the ramen restaurant upon tracking down both her teacher and the orange surprise at his side. The Yamanaka heiress remained silent throughout the retelling but had taken to chewing on her lip in thought as Sakura continued to vent, both on the boy's decisions and her own personal inadequacies. Finally finished, with her knees tucked up against her chest as she hugged them close, the medic felt as though her body and heart felt a bit lighter in comparison.

"So Lala is the likeliest reason he's leaving again and they're to be married. But do we know how concrete their relationship is? Sometimes these things fall apart if the two decide it wouldn't work. Even if it's some long-term engagement."

"She was sticking pretty damn close to him and they both seemed comfortable in the presence of the other. Yet Naruto let it slip that Lala was the one to actually start their…relationship. I don't know if he's been tricked or forced into doing this."

Ino's teeth slowly revealed themselves as a wicked grin overtook her, eyes flashing as a new idea formed thanks to Sakura's information. "What if we got Naruto away from Lala? Introduce another girl to secretly pull him out of her influence?"

"Like who?" Ino's pointed look made Sakura scowl and look repulsed at the very thought. "No! I may want to help the idiot but I'm not doing anything embarrassing!" Faded azure eyes continued to stare. "I am not whoring myself out!"

The blonde scoffed and actually looked a bit hurt at the pinkette's words. "I never said anything about being a whore. Are you calling any seduction specialist a slut or skank because they take missions that involve using their body to make ends meet? Or even _me_ because I like to dress this way?"

"W-well, no but…"

"If we got it then we flaunt it." As if to make a point she ran a hand from her collarbone, down the swell of her breast and toned stomach before ending at the edge of her skirt. Civilian families always had way stricter morals than those who were pure ninja…but then again, her own father was just able to tolerate her revealing yet still presentable outfit. "I will admit that I like to tease the boys and make them fantasize about me because it's a morale booster but I'm not thinking of adding 'ready and willing to fuck' onto my resume. Would you think any less of me though if I one day decided on that career? If something happened and I had no other choice, or I learned that I was darn-spankin' good at gathering information in a way you've deemed highly inappropriate?"

"I…I don't know." she whispered back, defeat in her voice.

Ino sighed and shook her head. Sakura had always been heavily modest, likely thanks to her forehead, and her less developed body could have added to the stigma as she grew. The pinkette was her friend but the girl seriously needed to lighten up greatly in certain aspects. "I'm not saying to drag him off and whip his dick out. But if he finds another girl interested in him after all this time, it may bring to light any problems between Naruto and Lala that could show that they're not actually meant for each other."

"Would that actually work?"

"It could, I don't know. Has he grown cuter? If it looks like I could get a respectable boyfriend out of him then maybe I'll have a go." Ino finished with a finger at her cheek in thought. The other kunoichi looked scandalized at her friend's enthusiasm. So much so that she was unable to utter a single word on how she felt that was a bad idea, or that the blonde shouldn't do so, or even why _Ino_ of all people wanted to hit on Naruto. It wasn't actually jealousy stabbing at her chest…not at all.

'_Would she at least wait until Naruto was alone?_' Sakura may not have currently liked Lala because of the girl's inadvertent meddling, but the pinkette seemed innocent to it all. It wouldn't do to have the mind-reader flirting with the male right in front of her…but sometimes situations became desperate.

"Then again…if they're really in love then I don't think I'd have the heart to break them up. I know if I was in her situation I'd be devastated. Plus with how Hinata's been acting lately, I'd rather not have her discover that I pursued Naruto. She might snap and try to kill me even if I was only pretending."

Hinata! Of course! The one girl around here that actually cared for the jinchuriki as more than just a friend!. She seemed like the much more logical choice for this problem…but speaking of problems, Hinata had her own blatant one. The white-eyed Hyuuga had underwent a drastic personality change ever since Tsunade called them into her office. It was as if her emotional level had dropped to an all time low, bordering on silent and extremely tense. Anyone, even those within her own stoic clan, felt like they were walking on eggshells around her and the slightest goof would bring her wrath upon them. How would she react knowing that both Naruto and the one who took him away from her were here in the village?

Sakura stood swiftly and patted down the wrinkles in her battle skirt. It was a chance she needed to take to try and save Naruto from the _wrong_ future in his life. "I have an idea. Tell me, Pig…do you know where Hinata might be anyways?"

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"Your old home was so dirty!"

"No one's been around to clean it for three years, Lala." Naruto said with a small grin. "But it was nice to come back and see that it was all still the same." Having been shaking his head at her surprise, the blond nearly missed how the alien's face fell at his words.

"Yes." she responded, sounding oddly subdued. Her expression caused Naruto to pat the hand attached to the lithe arm wound around his own, causing Lala to look up at him and his questioning eyes.

"What's wrong?" The pinkette released his limb from the spot she always customarily took as both of the teenagers stopping in the road. Lala's fingers began to fiddle with the hem of her red shirt while biting her lip, hitting Naruto with a full dose of pure 'cute' in the process. He was proud to admit that he only jerked back momentarily and that the princess was too focused on own her thoughts to discover a new way to tease him.

"Well…it's just, watching you see all of your old friends and meeting them myself…it just makes me want to see my own family again. Plus I want to introduce you to more than just my dad." A smile flickered across her lips as the chakra titan reached out and pulled her into a one-armed embrace to show his support. She loved that he was growing used to any physical contact between them. It was a major improvement from the beginning where he would stiffen in uncertainty at the faintest hug.

"One day I guess, yeah?" _Now_ he sounded hesitant. She just nodded happily anyways as Naruto sighed in relief. "Good. Now let's head back so I can get some money from Ero-sennin. We can go find a present for your sisters then." He'd have to be sneaky and buy one for her as well. He still had no idea what to get her yet so this was the perfect excuse to look.

With their path now laid out before them, the duo moved off as Lala once again found a spring in her step. Both were all but thrown back into Tsunade's office upon their arrival by Shizune and Naruto couldn't fight against the scowl that slipped onto his face upon seeing the busty blonde. The Godaime was able to take it like a champ and keep her own face neutral at the look of disdain but knew it was well deserved. She had gotten off quite lightly compared to Jiraiya but the boy was a prankster at heart; he might have something still planned in the future.

Looking away from Naruto's direct gaze, Tsunade set her sights upon the Devilukan princess with a calculating, inquisitive stare. The young male wasn't exactly liking the growing shine in her brownish orbs and once again positioned himself to hide her behind his frame. That was, until she opened her painted lips and spoke. "So you're really alien royalty?"

"Yes." No hesitation.

"And you've somehow been charmed by the brat here?"

"Hey!"

Lala giggled at her fiancé's annoyed yell, beaming as he began to pout in a way that she thought looked simply adorable. "Yup!"

Slapping her manicured hands against the polished wood of her desk, Tsunade stood abruptly with a jiggle that failed to escape Jiraiya's notice. "That's good enough for me then! Let's go!" Before they knew it the Hokage had stepped up to the two of them and gently pulled at Lala's shoulder while steering her towards the door. "When was the last time you had a doctor's checkup?"

"Ummm…"

Naruto heard Peke mention it had been over a year since her last visitation before the two men received a cry of 'we'll be back in a bit'. The whiskered teen blinked in confusion before stepping into motion, aiming to follow the duo and ask why Tsunade was suddenly so interested in her well-being. Until Jiraiya called for him to stop, that is, forcing the boy to glare at the older gentleman for making him pause. Asking what he needed in a huff, Jiraiya just motioned slowly with his hand to make his point.

"Tsunade will take care of Lala, don't worry. I set her straight. I think Tsunade is more interested in learning more about your fiancé and the fact that she's…out of this world." Naruto rubbed the space between his eyes as his teacher continued to snicker at his joke. Wiping at his eye the sannin suddenly grew stern. "Seriously though; it's just going to be girl talk mixed with a medical examination. Knowing how you act, you'll be tripping over yourself after Lala strips and with the two talking about anything and everything female you will just be bored to death. Just take the time to relax…you could use it after all that training."

"I don't _need_ to relax. But I will use the time away from Lala to finish an errand. So…gimme money." he held out his hand as Jiraiya gave his apprentice a dry look. "All I have is yen. I can't buy Lala-chan a birthday present with foreign money.

"If you're stuck on a gift then you could-"

"Whatever you're about to say, it better not involve underwear!"

"Not even close." Jiraiya uttered, hurt at Naruto's accusation. Although it was **right** on the dot. And he was actually more amused than anything. After the ensuing argument, scuffle, and eventual settlement between the two males Naruto left the Hokage's office with heavier pockets and a mind full of possible gift ideas while Jiraiya shunshined away for some quality peeping time. If there was going to be a free period for everyone and Naruto wasn't going to go looking for sexy lingerie, then the summoner was going to spend the time doing something actually worthwhile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This is…simply amazing. Reinforced bone, muscle, and body tissue at a far higher index than even that of the hardiest shinobi. Average strength is on par with my own _after_ I strengthen my attacks with chakra, and even then you can still call on far more when needed. All five senses are heightened and the brain scan suggested higher levels of activity and processing. Tail is lacking bone, composed mainly of cartilage and blends seamlessly with the spinal and nervous systems. On a side note; said tail is extremely sensitive and causes a highly pleasurable reaction within the body, near akin to an orgasm…mmmm, physiology is damn near identical to any female found here on Earth from what the tests showed. Good on that if you ever wanted kids with Naruto, eh?"

Tsunade spoke with a practiced precision honed from years of medical expertise as she systematically scoured the notes in her hands. The busty blonde was having a major case of giddiness as the smirk on her painted lips could attest to. Who, in all honesty, could claim to having given a complete medical assessment to someone from off-planet? The whole concept still seemed unreal in her eyes.

Lala sat across from her on the room's lone examining table, unabashed and completely indifferent to the fact she was butt-naked in front of another person. Her slender legs swung back and forth merrily in a child-like fashion while awaiting the results. There was nothing to worry about; she felt amazing! The only time Lala actually grew flustered under Tsunade's scrutiny was when the medic had proceeded to check her pelvis and breasts for any troubles. Naruto's grandmother (who wasn't actually his true grandma…imagine that) had spent most the time asking her questions about herself and the girl hoped that her responses were approved.

"I'll have your blood work finished by tomorrow." The diamond-marked woman said as she turned away from her papers and sent a smile towards the younger female. "Are there any other concern or problems on your mind?" Lala's expressive eyes tilted upwards as a finger tapped her lips in thought.

"Well…my sister's birthdays are soon and I don't know what to buy them-"

"I meant about your health." Tsunade cut in with a small chuckle. The pinkette's mouth opened slightly in understanding before her tresses shook back and forth. Satisfied by the current outcome the Hokage pushed a hanging pigtail back over her shoulder and motioned for her to stand. "Very well. We're finished here."

"Peke!"

"**Yes, ma'am!**"

Lala's body was overtaken by a gooey mess as the small robot floated over from her spot on the nearby table. The red shirt, white shorts, and sandals shimmered into existence and covered her decency with only a miniscule fuss. Truly, Tsunade was bowled over by watching the little automatic puppet thing melt away and turn into actual clothing but chalked it up to crazy alien technology. Lala had created this Peke all by herself? She'd give any of the Nara a run for their money in the intelligence department. The duo stood as one and the blonde opened the door for Lala to walk through. The privacy seals deactivated the moment the wood detached from the doorframe, glowing slightly before fading away into the simple ink it was painted with.

"So are you enjoying the village so far?"

"It's really nice. Naruto-kun showed me some places and we walked around, but there's still so much to see." They walked side by side down the hall, occasionally passing a patient or worker that greeted the double-threat leader/head doctor with respect. To Lala it was a weird yet interesting notion, seeing as literally no one knew who she was by sight. She was just another 'Average Joe' here in Konoha and the prospect was unusual to one that was predisposed to servants bowing to her every few seconds. Something Naruto would one day be shown as well. Walking with her arms behind her back, the girl's whip-like tail once again began to wiggle in anticipation of the future.

"Indeed. It's quite beautiful, especially particular spots at certain times of the day. Is there anything in particular you would like to see before we return?"

Lala just hummed in commitment. "I'd like to go back to Naruto-kun. He was going to get some money from Mr. Ero-sennin and then we could shop."

"I'll walk you back then." she added with a slight grin before pulling on her long green coat from the main desk's coat rack. Their travels were made in relative silence except for the continuous thud of Tsunade's heels striking the floor until the Slug Sannin twisted sharply at an intersection and began walking down a side street, forcing Lala to match her speedy gait lest she be left behind. This wasn't the way back to the large red tower as she remembered.

"Um, Ruto-Baa, where are we going?" Tsunade felt a muscle twitch at the teenager's unassuming question, more at her lovely new nickname that seemed to have been born thanks to the jinchuriki's lack of respect when addressing her. Lala was innocent in the matter; she just seemed to find it easier to go off of whatever her betrothed had already labeled a person.

"Please just call me Tsunade." she ground out with a slightly strained smile before dropping her annoyance altogether. The peppy alien just acted too playful to stay mad at for long periods of time…sorta like a plucky puppy. "But first, answer me this. How many sisters are we talking about?"

"Two. They're twins. Momo loves plants and Nana adores animals."

"I don't know too much about creatures besides checking with the Inuzuka kennels but I know where we can go for plant life. Yamanaka Flowers is an acceptable store for most things gardening." Luckily enough there was only one store in the village for all of your express foliage and shrubbery needs. The very store Tsunade was set for. Naruto and Lala could handle going without seeing each other for a bit longer; they had the rest of their lives to be stuck in other's presence. The well-endowed kunoichi just wanted to learn a bit more about the girl while she could. That included her immediate family. What better way to learn about an alien monarchy than by one who was stuck dead center in the middle? The ticket was skipping along beside her.

Besides, Tsunade barely ever wasted her hours just having good ol' fashioned 'girl time'. As a youth the war had preoccupied most of her early life and the woman had to contend with loss after loss. Any semblance of her knowing a 'normal' teenage reality had flown out the window once she entered the ninja academy and even then the odds were low she could just go out and shop for clothes while giggling about the boys with her classmates. Wartime had lowered that straight down to a big fat zero. As of now Shizune would just follow at her heels and give suggestions (boring, despite loving the crap out of her apprentice) and Sakura spent more time with the women her own age. Paperwork could simply wait for now. Perhaps it was time to waste her money on something other than a game of dice for once?

Meanwhile a few streets over one particular person was enjoying the minor calm of the day as they sat on an unoccupied bench of a tea shop. Pale eyes, irises nearly invisible against the whites of her sclera and lacking any sort of distinct pupil, watched the foot traffic go by without any sort of sign to show that she was actually paying attention. Forgoing the relative passiveness of her face, the female's mind was in a constant state of turmoil ever since the day she had been called into her boss's office. It just...when did things begin to spiral so far out of control?

Naruto…engaged…those two words haunted her day and night. Hinata Hyuuga had hoped that one day that particular process would involve herself but now that dream was dashed to tiny little pitiful pieces. The boy she had admired, pined for in their youth for years, giving way to a crush that left her a stuttering mess whenever her was near, was now out of her reach. Unconsciously the byakugan-wielder's hands tightened to the point where the pressure was enough to crack her beverage cup. Spider web fractures caused her tea to dribble against the dusty floor but the mess barely warranted her notice.

**She** was the one that knew Naruto was special before anyone else. **She **was the person that always cheered him on, reveling in the fact that maybe, _just maybe, _her silent appreciation caused some unintentionally synergy that gave him the strength to go on when he was feeling blue. **She** was the one that worked her ass off ever since he left the village so that one day the blond would return, be wowed by all the progress, and bloody well return all the hot-blooded affection she had saved up!

Hinata was attractive, she knew it well though was extremely modest in her beauty, and while her body and it's…development still caused the heiress to feel uncomfortable in her own skin, the purplenette had hoped the energetic blond would find it appealing. A small voice always believed Naruto found thinner, lesser endowed girls to be more suited to his tastes and it made the kekkei-genkai holder curse her clan's good genes. Why else would he follow Sakura around like the plague? Damn her own ridiculously bountiful chest! Her jacket barely hid her curves anymore and anything bulkier on her torso would just look ridiculous and get in the way of her techniques.

But there had always been hope. If she could just get over her shyness and confess even a small amount of repressed sentiment towards her classmate then it would have been smooth sailing from there since the seed would have been planted. They would have been each other's first love, first kiss, first…oooh, a small blush blazed against the pale Hyuuga's cheeks at the thought despite her poker face. From her own personal investigation into questionable literature and the stories heard around the village, sex with the one you pledged yourself to was supposed to be amazing. Mind-boggling. Toe-spasming. Making her scream and beg for more in its sheer communication of their devotion after the initial pain and discomfort of becoming his lover. Having eyes that allowed one to see through essentially anything led their owner to gain a rather…healthy imagination as well. He would have been hers and no one else's, claiming each other in body and mind while essentially telling anyone else interested to fuck off. Especially to those with enhanced senses; hard to question their relationship if their scent or chakra aura simply permeated off of the other.

And yet there was someone else now that was stealing all of those things right out from under Hinata's pretty little nose. Some sort of sexy foreigner. Naruto and this _Lala_ (she could have spat out the name like it was poison if she truly had `been an insidious person) were now to be married, taking the Hyuuga's place in his life and forcing her to essentially shut down at a basic level to try and cope. All of her planning was destroyed; she had gone into a state of shock after Tsunade's announcement to all of the boy's friends and their teachers. The Juken-practitioner had heard their whispers, how they believed she would have thrown some sort of tantrum at the reveal.

Who did they think she was, Sakura?

Instead her emotional center had shut down in such a way so as it seemed like Hinata had finally adopted her family's outlook on life: stoic and impassive to a fault. Her father would have been proud. Hell, he _was_ proud although Hiashi privately frowned at the cause that forced his daughter to finally start acting like a 'proper' clan heiress. It wasn't difficult to see Hinata's feelings but the head never expressly forbid them nor gave her a push in the right direction. It had been a confidential test of his to see if she would bolster her feelings and fight against the embarrassment that seemed to plague her so. She had failed for years and his disappointment evolved into a reason he pushed her so hard in family training.

No wonder Hinata had become even more withdrawn in her genin days while her baby sister continued to shine. Hanabi had no such qualms in her life, instead being molded to be the leader of their clan from a young age in case her 'onee-sama' was unfit to lead. As of now with the busty Hyuuga's mechanical way of doing things and her experience versus Hanabi's greater training and upbringing, they were in an unsteady tie. Not that she actually cared about that right now.

Taking a small sip of the diminutive amount of liquid that miraculously remained in her cup, Hinata blinked before softly setting the drink down at her side and folding her hands in her lap. As still as a statue the female pondered on what her course of action would or even _could_ be now. The future seemed bleak without her own personal sun around to light it up and it...was…depressing.

"Hey, there she is! Hinata!" Her head gracefully turned to the right as someone yelled out her name, the purple-haired heiress barely reacting to the shout besides the obvious acknowledgment. It better not have been Kiba trying to cheer her up again; while it was thoughtful, her teammate's attempts to help her out of her funk were pathetically transparent. No one was getting in her panties unless they were blond, blue-eyed, whiskered, gunning to be the next Hokage, and named Naruto Uzumaki, dammit!

Oh wait…this was still just as bad as the randy Inuzuka heir hitting on her.

"Sakura-san, Ino-san." she responded evenly. What did they want? Better to find out and then send them on their way. "Is there something I can help you with today?"

"Yeah, uh…" The two girls shared an uneasy glance between them before Sakura stepped forward with an uncertain smile. "How are you feeling today?"

"I am well." She reached over to take another drink, more so to have an excuse not to speak more, when the pinkette decided that retreat wasn't an option and instead soldiered on. Sakura was fidgety though and it was making Hinata rue even entering conversation with her. Impassively she took another sip before glancing downward with an undetectable grimace, wondering where all of her beverage had gone. There were only murky dregs left at the bottom. How odd.

"So you probably were unaware seeing as it just happened earlier today but, uh…did you know that Naruto is back?"

Hinata's cup exploded not one second later, sending ceramic shrapnel in all directions. Said girl merely looked down at the crushed, powdered object in her hands with the same passiveness as before. "Oh dear." she said gently, brushing the shards off of her body and palms with a fluid slowness. There was, however, a minor gleam of confusion and interest hidden away in her glowing features.

Ino had shrieked in fright as the proverbial bomb went off right in front of her whereas Sakura had shielded her face with her arms. At least the cup had been the target and not either of them. They were walking on thin ice as it was and the Yamanaka truly wondered whether or not it would have been safer to just hit on Naruto herself and hope to god Hinata was kept in the dark forever. This was actually more terrifying than that Gaara kid from the Chunin Exams!

"So Naruto-kun has returned…I must greet him accordingly."

Sakura gulped lightly, her own thoughts closely mirroring her mind-walking friend's as the store's atmosphere continued to fizzle uncomfortably. "We…thought you might like to know. He arrived with Jiraiya-sama and his…fiancé and I ran into them both at his favorite ramen stand. "

"…I see. Lala-san is with him now I take it?"

"Most likely. The two seem rather close but, um, well something was said that sounded strange to me. I think Lala may have somehow tricked Naruto into marrying her and he's just warming up to the idea." For the first time in days Hinata's face expressed emotion. Her byakugan activated without reason as her eyes narrowed, expressing untold anger at the very thought. Both girls hastily jumped back as the Hyuuga rose to her feet, ignoring the protesting waiter as they tried to calmly assure her that the cost of the destroyed cup was of no importance. In truth they just wanted the girl out of the store regardless of the expense she had accrued. Her intimidating presence had been losing them customers in the attempt to simply get away from the female and her air of aggressive indifference.

"That is most unacceptable."

"We agree!" Ino jumped in, hands held in front of her chest in a nonthreatening manner. "And that's why we thought someone else could show they really cared for Naruto and that Lala wasn't the best choice for him! You were the first girl we thought of and so, here we are!"

The engorged veins around Hinata's eye sockets shrank as the girl cut off her chakra and released the hold over her doujutsu. She **was** the best choice to earn Naruto's affection, wasn't she? If that other…other…_strumpet_ thought to use deception to win the blond's heart then the pretty kunoichi would simply have to halt any other attempts. Their idea had merit, and a new plan was forming within that would force Lala to accept Hinata's superiority as the firstborn daughter of one of Konohagakure no Sato's premier clans. It wasn't like her newest rival was some sort of princess similar to herself.

"Do you happen to know where Naruto-kun and Lala-san are at this moment?"

"Well…no?"

"Then we shall find them, shan't we?" Her bloodline flared to life again as the purplenette began to scan her surroundings. This was the moment she always longed for and thought had been lost to her forever. As long as she was not reduced to a stuttering mess once she gazed upon him like when they were younger. There was a possibility that it would be even worse because there was no way Naruto had not grown cuter during his three year hiatus. Still, it was a chance she needed to take.

She had an Uzumaki to save.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At the same point in time as the other confrontations were taking place, Naruto was walking down the street at a clipped pace. His scroll bounced against his back as the blond continued to head towards the shopping district while Lala was off with Tsunade. Half of his psyche still wished to find them as Lala wouldn't object to his company and the Godaime would at least allow him to wait outside the door for the exam to complete. But Jiraiya's advice surprisingly made sense. He didn't want to appear overbearing but the whole 'world decimation' cloud hovering over his head made the ninja a bit more proactive in her well-being. Plus he generally liked her and wouldn't want anything to purposely hurt Lala.

On another note: what the hell was he going to buy? Lala Satalin Deviluke was a genius-inventor-first daughter of the whole galaxy that could literally have anything she wanted. Naruto understood that with the pinkette's caring and innocent nature, she would simply admire anything he bought her. But it was her _birthday_. A very special day in one's live, signifying the love of their parents was grand enough that they wished for a child to be a constant reminder of their bond. While Naruto's own were usually filled with blandness or gloom, this upcoming October was going to mark a change.

His parents truly loved him. He _now_ knew that he actually had a mother and father and that they had not simply abandoned him to his fate. They were heroes, sacrificing themselves for the village but more importantly, so Naruto could live on in their place and protect their home. Love was one of the most powerful forces in the world and despite Minato and Kushina being gone for sixteen years the jinchuriki felt that he now had some experience with what the other kids were given freely every day.

The Devilukan princess was quite adamant in making sure Naruto was doused in her own love, innuendo notwithstanding.

He could only sigh and scratch his cheek despite grinning merrily. That damn girl was slowly but surely making sure his affection settled on her. Even Sakura was becoming nothing more than a previous wish for acceptance by a girl he had thought was pretty. Sure, upon seeing her today his old feelings had flared up. His prior stupidity when she had greeted him was just that; him being stupid. Sakura _had_ looked more womanly than he could remember.

But…yeah. Wow. It was crazy. Lala _was_ the better choice between the two. Naruto actually blushed before shaking his head fervently and did his best to focus on the present. Until Akatsuki were disbanded and the jinchuriki were emphatically 'safe' the toad summoner wouldn't have much time for serious romance. However he knew that wouldn't pacify a certain someone, making him believe that his mornings were always going to be filled with waking up to an extra body tucked underneath his covers.

Marrying her…this really was a tough choice.

Why was he dragging his feet? What was the point? Fear of rejection? That element was complete moot since she had accepted the reality of him being the vessel of a massive chakra beast with a caring smile. Arg…Naruto was over thinking things again when he knew for a fact that it was dangerous for him to do so. The shinobi would constantly ponder over and work towards the perfect answer, eventually either discovering what was needed or burning out in the end. How else could a thirteen-year old student puzzle over a forbidden ninjutsu for a few hours and yet come out mastering it to such a degree that he could create dozens upon dozens of solid clones in his first life-or-death battle? With one single solitary handsign? His intelligence may have been lower than most but his tenacity knew no bounds.

A tenacity that was now slowly driving him crazy as he pondered over his future.

Pbbthhhh! Time out! The blond sage had a more pressing problem; procuring a birthday present.

Wait…IDEA! Why didn't he see it sooner? Naruto swiftly ducked inside the correct building once he jogged up to it, proceeding to scour the shelves until his eyes locked onto the item in question. Throwing up a fist in joy he quickly paid for it before the shopkeep realized who he was and sealed it away for later wrapping. Time to head back to the tower seeing as he now literally had nothing to do.

"Excuse me."

But was that really a proper use of his time?

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

Perhaps he could just go locate his old buddies?

"Sir…?"

"Hu-wah?" The voice finally reached his ears as a finger softly tapped him on the shoulder. As Naruto turned the person released a gentle sigh at finally grabbing his attention. The ninja couldn't tell as his newest guest was wearing an ankle-length white/grey multicolored cloak complete with a face-swallowing hood but with that lilting voice, Naruto just _had_ to believe it was a female.

"Thank goodness. For a moment I believed I was trying to catch the attention of a deaf man." The blond immediately and involuntarily scratched at his neck at the visitor's quiet exclamation.

"Ah, sorry about that. Just lost in thought. Is there something I can help you with, err…?" Naruto gestured at her covered features and gloved hands grasped at the fabric in turn once they realized what he was asking. He played a victory fanfare in his mind as it was revealed to indeed be a woman. Score one for the Uzumaki. Her long black hair shimmered in the sunlight, pulled back into a high ponytail that split halfway down towards the middle of her back. Horizontally cut bangs framed her glowing white skin and partly covered a black hitai-ate with the symbol of a flower engraved upon the metal plate. Bright green eyes looked out at him from an attractive face that currently appeared both stern and somewhat apathetic. She was a kunoichi…but what village used such a plant as their symbol? All he could think of was Kusagakure but they had that grass pattern, not a flower.

"I am Shizuka of Nadeshiko Village. I'm currently searching for someone important and perhaps you could assist me? So far my inquiries here in the market have turned up short and I'm beginning to think it was a fruitless endeavor."

"Sure, I have some free time before I need to head back. I might be able to help. Do you know the person's name or what they look like?"

"Of course." she nodded, causing her ponytail to bob. "There are two possibilities actually…either Jiraiya of the Sannin or anyone that he has taken on as an apprentice."

"Oh hey! You're in luck! Not only do I know Ero-sennin, but you just so happen to be speaking to his favorite student! Naruto Uzumaki, nice to meetcha!" Shizuka's eyes narrowed as she looked Naruto up and down, taking in his battered appearance and extremely outlandish taste in clothing while standing in a relaxed fashion. This was the man both Tokiwa and her deceased mentor wanted her to track down? The one with onyx-tinted hair truly did not want to follow through on such a 'favored' tradition of her home…but rules were rules, no matter how much she wished to ignore them.

"I see…" With lidded emerald eyes the kunoichi grabbed at the shoulder of her cloak and made to rip it off, but before she could follow through with the deed her target was yanked off his feet and pulled to the rooftops. Her gaze followed the movement, catching sight of the famed Toad Sage as he furiously whispered and pointed down at Shizuka, Naruto suddenly grabbing at his yellow hair in frustration and wailing in annoyance before leaping after the man's hurried escape. The two males ran off at top speed and the young woman hopped up to engage in pursuit.

"Shizuka-sama, I apologize!" At her side another female materialized, body bowed in respect and forcing Shizuka to pause. The newest person was a rather tall woman with an imposing figure, easily towering over the girl as she stood to her full height. She has a slender physique and large bust with a very angular face and high cheekbones, framed by her short brown hair slicked back along her head. Her eyes were a dull brown and the woman wore a dark shade of red lipstick. A short, backless, red, full-body suit was worn over a set of mesh armor, along with a pair of arm-length gloves and a long apron skirt which opened in the front. Bandages were wrapped around her wrists, covering all of her right leg as well as her left thigh and shin. Rounding out her ensemble was a very long and thin katana strapped to her back.

"No time, Tokiwa. Explain on the way." The newly named woman nodded as both motored into action after their targets.

"I staked out the women's hot springs after the two of us parted on the off chance our intel was correct, as it was a known spot for Jiraiya-sama to frequent. I remained hidden and to my immense surprise he did indeed appear despite our questioning of the locals stating he had been out of Konoha for quite some time. Its obvious now that they were wrong. After confronting him he took off at high speed but not before I heard him mention he had to 'find the brat and get the hell out of here'." she finished quoting as the duo were forced to return to the streets. Both Naruto and Jiraiya had slipped into the mass of foot traffic to disappear but they would not lose their pursuers so easily.

"We both were favored with good fortune today. Though my continuous inquiries always ended on the same note and I was beginning to grow disheartened, my latest target turned out to actually be the Sannin's student. He confirmed it himself."

"That blond boy?"

"Yes."

"Then we can no longer waste any time. Kokuyō is becoming increasingly relentless in his attempts to wed you." Shizuka only scowled as if that name were a foul curse and continued to pass through the throng as quickly as she could. This couldn't have been any easier, could it?

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I WOULD HAVE TO MARRY HER?"

"JUST SHUT UP AND KEEP RUNNING!"

"I'M ALREADY SUPPOSED TO MARRY LALA-CHAN! I CAN'T MARRY TWO GIRLS!"

"I SAID SHUT IT AND MOVE YOUR GODDAMN LEGS! WE NEED TO FIND LALA AND LEAVE UNLESS YOU'RE LOOKING TO HOST A DUAL ENGAGEMENT PARTY!"

How could this have happened? How did they even know he was back in the village? It had only been one day. ONE FREAKING DAY! More importantly, how could the white-haired ninja forgotten about that promise from so long ago? So he had fought the former leader of Nadeshiko to a draw decades ago after infiltrating their secretive homeland for smut material and swore that their apprentices would finish the fight. It was an honest mistake, seeing as a raging perverted bachelor like himself would likely never find someone to teach outside of a simple genin team. The Yondaime had proved him wrong though and once Minato married Kushina the past had essentially been broken and banished from his mind.

It never occurred to him that the woman would teach somebody that was Naruto's age instead, his _second _student.

And now she was here, looking to engage Naruto in combat and repeat history. It boiled down to the basics; if Shizuka won then no harm done. A bruised ego and maybe some hospital time. But if Naruto was the victor he would be forced to return to her community and marry her, as per the laws of Nadeshiko. It was a matrilinealty, meaning only girls were miraculously born there and so they were forced to venture outside the walls and find a strong male to serve as their husband. Only the worthy were allowed entrance as well as the occasional exception such as merchants. In spite of such strict decrees, the place was renowned for its attractive inhabitants and many men dreamed of sneaking in or being chosen to court one of the beauties and enter a charmed life of marriage to what they considered a highly sexual being. What many didn't know was that it was basically an agreement to give the kunoichi some children (whether the men wanted to sire any or not) with a looming possibility of actual love blossoming if they were lucky.

Of course the jinchuriki could simply throw the fight. But his stubborn personality and beliefs would never have him back down from such a challenge of strength. The only way he could lose is if Shizuka _was_ truly stronger. That reality was slim to none with the training he had just endured and essentially made his bitch.

The only option was to get out of town before they were cornered. How would Tsunade react if she discovered he had fundamentallypromised the boy to another, years before the child was even a twinkle in his dad's eye? Or Lala? Or…*gulp*…Lala's dad? Yup. Freakin' run. That sounded like a grand idea.

"All we have to do is find your fiancé and head back to Japan! We came and visited, that's what we said we would do! Tsunade'll get over it!"

"You mean Lala, or Shizuka?" Naruto shot back angrily as they ducked down an alleyway towards the civilian section of the market.

"I already apologized! Do you even realize how long ago this was? Your dad was still just a kid and part of my genin team! I never thought I would ever take on an apprentice, let alone two! You're lucky this handsome fellow even decided to pick your sorry ass for my awesome training!" Naruto just shook his fist as they burst out of the shadows and slid along the walls. The hospital was their destination and that was where they would go once the two were sure they had lost their followers.

"NnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNARUTO!"

**WHAM**

The orange-clad shinobi was sent skidding along the dirt as a human missile wrenched into his liver and sent him tumbling like a wheel. Besides the cheap shot that had him cough up a minute amount of blood and rattled his mind, he already knew who the culprit currently nuzzling her forehead into his chest was. After all, she seemed to enjoy greeting him with flying tackles and over-the-top hugs. His body could handle Lala's strength when she was excited but really…he liked it more when she just jumped on his back for a ride or wrapped her arms around his neck gently. Naruto simply had to contend with her body weight at that point and not a jarring blow to his organs.

"Lala…*cough*…you're gonna kill me…be gentler…"

"You're so silly!"

A shadow fell across his face as he spit a few silky strands of pink out of his mouth. A grinning blond with familiarly overt breasts was looking down at him teasingly, hands on her hips and legs spread apart defiantly as she loomed over her distant relative. Tsunade thought it was nice to see someone so affectionate towards her pseudo-family member especially if her 'loving' had to keep him on his toes at all times. Tough love…Lala was a girl after her own heart. At least Naruto was sturdy.

"You're looking a little winded there, kiddo. Was there a certain reason you decided to stand outside of Yamanaka Flowers?" She easily lifted him to his feet, dusting off the biju vessel's red cape as a certain pink-haired alien continued to hang off his torso like a person-shaped wind chime. The most Naruto could do was weakly wave a hand as a nervous Jiraiya took the stage. He hopped into the scene and placed a hand on both teenagers' shoulders, grinning brightly while doing all he could to keep his lips from twitching dangerously.

"Tsunade-hime! Good timing; something big _just_ came up and we need to head back." He cut her off before the illusioned female could open her mouth to object. "It pertains to Naruto and could mean a lot of trouble if he doesn't make it back to Japan. Okay? Okay. I'll message you in a few days. Laters!" The male sannin threw a jovial salute towards his former teammate before going through the motions of summoning. As Fukasaku appeared, bony brows risen in bewilderment, the toad was immediately forced to leap into the air as a hail of shuriken impacted the dirt where the four had stood only moments ago.

All those with experience instantly spun, heart rates spiking as the thought of battle and imminent attack enhanced their bodies with a quick burst of adrenaline. The Hokage's eyes landed upon a pair of people running along the walls towards their very location. Women by the looks of it and both were gunning at Jiraiya with a vengeance. So the pervert went and got himself caught again…when would he learn that 'research' was just a quick path to large amounts of pain?

But the whole situation and Jiraiya's reaction up to this very moment were a bit off compared to his normal terror…

A quick snap of Tsunade's fingers and the pair were quickly disarmed by ANBU as they made their final leap and were dragged to the ground, roughly bound by the elite ninjas' arms and hands as the militant leader called out for everyone to freeze. The normal flow of traffic in and out of the Yamanaka's business (that already slowed to a crawl because of their loitering) effectively stopped at the booming voice and backed away because, y'know, an incensed Tsunade was not somebody you wanted to be around. Without even looking over her shoulder she pointed at her former teammate and yelled out with an authority gained by years of controlling the world's largest ninja village. "Jiraiya if you even try and run away now, you're in deeper shit than you already were! Fukasaku-sama, I can't order you to do anything but I ask that you do not use any reverse summoning!"

Seeing as whatever danger he had been called to quell had passed, the old toad eventually returned to the earth with a soft 'plop' of his small feet and took in everyone with shining yellow eyes. "Yeesh, ya don' gotta worry abou' that. I myself am curious as ta what Jiraiya-chan did ta get those lasses so pissed." Pa stroked his pointed beard thoughtfully with spindly fingers before shaking his head and sighing. "Ah bet I kin get it in three guesses though."

The blonde nodded her head before glaring up at the side of the flower shop and jabbing a manicured finger at her feet. Reluctantly, the two males jumped back down as Tsunade's foot began to tap impatiently against the paved road of the market. Naruto allowed Lala back onto horizontal ground but the girl slyly slipped herself around his arm and held tight. The feeling of comfort that the contact gave her caused the rose-haired alien to sigh gently against him and close her eyes, the blond at her side hesitantly shifting on his heels simply because his arm was once again locked between her breasts and he didn't know how to respond without embarrassing himself.

From her spot in the dirt Shizuka was able to view the two teenagers' closeness and released a barely audible scoff. Tokiwa forced her own head around to look at her young master's expression, realizing this job was going to be a lot more complex than they had originally planned for. The initial idea was already filled to the brim with expected difficulties. They did not, ironically…plan for something such as this. Tokiwa had implicitly believed Naruto would take after his mentor and simply be unable to settle down with one girl, which would make the capture easier seeing as there would not be another woman waiting for him to come home at some point. Somebody forgot to look underneath the underneath and plan for _all_ possible outcomes.

'_It will only end in tragedy._'

The older Nadeshiko warrior could read her charge's inner thoughts without any prompt; even with the barest minimum of facial tics to give her away. Those two had brought up memories from the past and she bit her lip to refrain from speaking out. That was another reason she hoped Shizuka won the destined duel between herself and the jinchuriki; to move on from the pain of her own tragic history. Looking up at the imposing woman in the green jacket, her body and glare emanating pure leadership and authority to Tokiwa's senses, the brunette cleared her throat and did her best to speak with a few extra bodies adding unwanted pressure to her own. All she knew was the one with their arm wrapped around her torso better keep their hands to themselves.

"Excuse me but…from your actions and how you were able to command these ninja, would you happen to be the Hokage?"

"I am. And you better have a _really_ good reason for attempting to assault one of my soldiers."

"Pardon us, please. When Jiraiya-sama began to run I believed our only chance was about to slip through our fingers."

"Please tell your ninja to kindly get off. As long as no one else tries to run away, we can explain our reasoning behind out actions." the emerald-eyed girl said, flickering her vision up at her captor. The two ANBU gazed steadfast at their leader, faces unreadable behind the silent masks shaped like a generic cat and boar respectively which aided in shielding their naked identities from the world, and awaited her order. These two were potentially dangerous but currently outnumbered by skillful shinobi. With a nearly minute downward tilt of her chin, the silent command was given and the ANBU released the women and backed away just far enough to react if necessary. Shizuka calmly dusted off the front of her body and most of the filth marring her cloak before bowing her slender neck. "Thank you."

"Just get on with the explanation before I have you arrested."

"Before anything, I just want it on the record that I had no prior knowledge of any of this until today." Naruto added swiftly, arm raised for attention and causing Tsunade to huff.

Jiraiya was less than thrilled.

"_And_ I want it to be known that it's been freakin' decades since this originally happened and I barely remembered it until it was shoved in my face!"

"Let everyone know that a certain old pervert is looking to have me break my foot off in his ass again!"

"A certain unpleasant child needs to learn what the hell an 'honest mistake' is and to lighten up before he grows up into a more ungrateful bastard than he already is!"

"My parents had me **after** they were married thank you very much, you doubtlessly STD-ridden prick!"

"I'm as clean as a hospital surgery room! Kushina would have beaten your much-needed manners into you and I'd have loved watching every minute of it!"

"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" The two ninja were in each other's faces, metal plates grinding against each other so hard that the friction caused sparks to burst into existence with every forceful push. Lala released her grip and now stood near Tsunade as she watched the two fall back into belittling each other, a finger pressed against her lips in wonder as she watched the free show. The busty Hokage had to step forward as the two dropped off into a series of growls and teeth grinding before grabbing their cheeks rather vigorously and slamming their skulls together with a loud crack and enough force to demolish a house. Smacking her hands together with gusto the blonde sighed and stared down at the two twitching bodies with something akin to ridiculousness. "Seriously? Are you two serious? Haven't you two been at each other's throats enough already? You're ruining business for the flower shop with your unwanted machismo!"

From the partially opened doorway, a man with long, pale-yellow hair pulled into a ponytail and jounin shinobi gear shot his boss a grateful smile. Why did fights always have to drop onto Inoichi Yamanaka's doorstep?

Lala took to kneeling near the lump of her what now constituted as her 'boyfriend' and poked him gently with a dainty finger. He groaned as the tip of her digit rubbed against his yellow (which was suspiciously turning crimson) hair, proving to the pinkette he was still alive if barely. Yay. Fukasaku croaked, shielding his laughter behind the noise.

"And you…talk. Now." Tokiwa gulped as bright yellow-brown eyes turned to bore down on the outsiders. Even Shizuka felt a shiver of fear slip down her spine, and she was a young woman that barely expressed any worthwhile emotion anymore. Without wasting another second the taller Nadeshiko female told the tale of their village's gender discrepancy, Jiraiya's 'visit' and the impression that was made upon their former leader, and the promise that was made for their apprentices to meet on the field of battle. As the speech continued on, Lala felt as though a large question mark was forming over her crown as the babbling continued on until a few specific words were able to pierce through her selective hearing and finally make her stop rubbing Naruto's injured head lovingly.

"Marriage?" Her tail suddenly stiffened and went as straight as a rod. Leaping into a standing position with a cute little grunt, the princess damn near teleported across the ground until she was in Shizuka's personal space with a smile a mile long on her lips. The ravenette pulled back in alarm at Lala's sudden speed. She had barely sensed the girl's movement! Who was she? "You want to marry Naruto-kun too?"

"I-I-" Clear the throat. Act like you were not surprised. "I do _not_ actually, but I do not have much of a choice in the matter."

Lala blinked, her tail no longer expressing her excitement as it returned to her normal hanging flexibility. "Eh? That sounds stupid."

Shizuka felt her jaw drop slightly.

"I mean, I want to marry him because I _want_ to. But I originally didn't want to but then he was super nice and took care of me and before I knew it I fell for him despite him not actually wanting to marry me also but I think that's starting to change because he doesn't get as embarrassed anymore except when I get in bed with him or have him bathe with me but I think that's really cute and-"

"You need to take a breath, girl." Tsunade placed a hand gently on the pinkette's head, mushing her curly-cue flat and slowly pulling her away from the other teenager. "And it sounds like we might have to have a talk about selective privacy." Lala's response was to allow sweet, sweet oxygen to flow back into her lungs with a long, drawn-out gasp.

Shizuka was speechless. A few unsettling pangs lanced through her heart at Lala's conviction towards the boy she cared for but was able to squash the hurt with sheer will. This was no time to break down or show weakness. Even Tokiwa felt herself at a loss for words at just how enthusiastic the other female was over the blond ninja. Finally, Shizuka coughed into her gloved hand to try and regain some composure before staring proudly at the ninja leader and the girl smiling brightly at her hip.

"Be that as it may…I am here to formally challenge the student of Jiraiya the Sannin to an honor duel. Let this Naruto Uzumaki know once he regains his bearings that if he wishes to stay betrothed to her-" she pointed towards the extraterrestrial, "-then he should hope that I come out as the victor. I will not accept anything less than his best however."

"I object." What was up with people surprising Tsunade and co. today? The older kunoichi snapped her neck to the side as a group of three walked in on the scene. Well, well; if it wasn't her own wayward apprentice, the girl's less-than-modest blonde frienemy, and the current heiress in the running for head Hyuuga. Surprisingly it was Hinata that had spoken, her tone still extremely docile as she scanned the amassed assembly with her unnerving eyes. Until they landed on the girl standing next to Tsunade. The veins around her vision bulged explosively with raw chakra as she focused herself completely upon the curvy pinkette. Her thin line of a mouth dropped into an angry grimace that helped express the most emotion anyone there had seen on her in quite some time.

Lala thought the throbbing eyeballs were creepily awesome as she easily brushed off the killer intent boring down on her figure like the plague.

"And who are you to deny me my right as Nadeshiko's leader?" Shizuka shot back, turning her own glare upon the intruders. The Hyuuga matched her glower for glower and if one were to look close enough, the barest hint of sparks could be noticed arcing between their shared line of vision. Hinata clenched her fist and brought it to rest against the curve of her chest, taking a step forward towards the Amazon-like warrior to state her piece. Chin held high, body straight, and pale eyes flaring at will, all with a blank face.

"The heiress of one of Konohagakure's Four Great Clans, Hinata Hyuuga. I had a claim towards Naruto before either of you and will not stand to hear you talk about Naruto-kun as if he were some sort of prize."

"Village leader trumps clan head. Besides, if you had a 'claim' as you seem to think is your right, then how come you never did anything about it until he was already caught in this string of relationship problems?" The black-haired cutie waved her hand between herself and Lala before retracting the limb back inside her cloak and glancing towards Naruto, who only just begun to gain his bearings after the severe brain trauma that had been inflicted upon him. The beautiful purplenette just then noticed that her crush was actually in attendance, having focused solely on her new hated rival(s) up until now even with her byakugan activated, and felt her world rip away as the mental conditioning from her younger years take hold. A miniscule pant broke out from her composed stature as her face immediately burned a deep red. The time apart had done the boy good. Very…good. He was injured...but oh so good.

Hinata nearly fainted but continued using her telescopic vision to stare at the flame-coat clad boy.

"I…I chall-challenge y-you both t-t-to…a,a Shikō Kettō (Supremacy Duel) instead." she barely stuttered out, allowing both Sakura and Ino to help keep her on her feet as only the elder generation gasped at the implication. The younger simply waited in silence until a certain jinchuriki awoke groggily and was pulled into a sitting position thanks to his current fiancé candidate. Lala wasn't the only one now with options it seemed, even if he wasn't fully aware of it yet.

"…what'd I miss after…whatever just happened to me?"

"I'm not the only one that wants to marry you! The Shizzy girl wants to fight you but then the other one with blank eyes said she claimed you already or something because I guess she likes you, and Shizzy-chan said she didn't have the right when suddenly Hooga-chan challenged both of us to a shiki kettle!...what's a shiki kettle?"

"…wha?"

"Don't call me Shizzy-chan."

"Wait…" Naruto blinked his eyes rapidly before slowly looking around the road, where a large group had gathered to witness the whole energetic scene. "I was claimed by a Hooga? What's a…H-Hinata?" Blue irises finally cleared enough to land on the thoroughly embarrassed ninja as she alternated between glancing at him for one second before looking away for another five while hiding behind her pink-haired medic's thinner frame. "Since when?"

"A-always…" she whispered, one eye peeking over Sakura's shoulder while somehow maintaining her monotone speech. The sight of her beloved blond had really supercharged the gal in the few moments they had been in each other's presence. Hinata's former blank slate had crumbled instantly. The sudden 180 in her personality was a shock, though not as big as the one where she had mentally shut down to the point where she had been only a shell of her former self. "Ev-ever s-s-since the be-beginning of t-the ac-ac-academy…"

Naruto was unable to think of a response and therefore took to blankly watching the girl fidget behind his teammate as the petite gal tried to maneuver her into the spotlight. By some unseen agenda, the pale Hyuuga shrank in upon herself and bit her lip before breathing out her nose and pushing past the pinky with a few shaky steps. Perhaps it was Shizuka's confused yet superior tilt of her head or Lala's pouting lip as she clung to the man she cared for, but Hinata's timidity slowly drowned against the wave of guilt she felt for not acting years ago. The soaring blood flow receded until it was merely a pink tint heightening her snow-white skin as the emotional mask she had crafted dropped back into place. There was no longer any time for Hinata to be nervous.

"And…and that is why I cannot allow this to go on any longer. You do n-not truly wish to marry this girl, do you? How she tricked you into your engagement? Oh yes, I-I've heard about your slip of the tongue at the ramen stand. And that is why…with the Shikō Kettō I will free you from your unwanted bond." Naruto and Lala quickly glanced at each other, searching for the meaning behind her words. Yeah Lala originally sorta kinda pulled the wool over his eyes but the pair already sorted out the rough patches in the thing they called an engagement.

As Hinata and the others continued on with their posturing and insults, Tsunade calmly walked towards the center of the circle and raised a single finger up near her face. Looking left, looking right, the woman nodded to herself before driving the pointer straight into the dirt like a she was pressing a button for all it was worth. The explosion that ensued ripped the rock and soil into large chunks that bucked and cratered underneath everyone's feet as they fought to stay upright. The move effectively shut everybody up and stopped the gaggle of females from doing any more than sniping at each other. Her elite guard had scattered at her outburst, ushering the crowd to part and setting up a perimeter now that things were no longer a simple argument. As for Tsunade herself, the lone Senju maintained her rhythm by wiping the now dirty digit on her coat and clearing her throat as every single person, both involved and not, looked to see what she had to say.

"This was entertaining while it lasted but I'm ending this now." she uttered while brushing past a hunk of stone nearly blocking the view out of the Yamanaka's front window. "First off, I believe I have a few solutions to what has been brought to light here today. Shizuka-san, Hinata; back off or I'll make you. Naruto, you are going to fight Shizuka and lose. I don't care if it's against your nindo."

"That's not how it works, Tsunade-sama." Tokiwa announced, getting a dramatic roll of the eyes from the Senju.

"Duly noted. Take a dive after kicking her butt for all I care. Hinata you cannot be serious about the Shikō Kettō. Do you even understand what that means?"

"Of course I do. It is deeply engrained within my clan's ancestry and I was forced to understand its significance." Hinata answered with a sniff of disdain. The girl stood regally, fingers entwined together as her doujutsu dispelled and her face returning to its blank slate.

"Right…well the others don't." Tsunade said. "In other words, it's literally a fight with your very honor at stake. It was a Hyuuga tradition that fell out of use some time ago, back when the law was a lot less strict in regards to personal affairs. It was initiated if it felt as if the Hyuuga's as a whole or the person's own personal character was threatened or ruined by another. The victor could demand anything of the loser as long as it was within their power, while simultaneously showcasing who was superior between the two and restoring the damaged honor. If you agree to Hinata's dispute and lose, she could very well order you to give up your pursuit of Naruto and you would have to comply without argument."

"I accept." Shizuka said, not one second later.

"It's also about fifty years outdated, you can be killed without repercussion if things were to escalate that far since it's an archaic clan law, and I personally think there's no point to it here."

"A ninja must take risks throughout their career. Why should this be no different?"

"Shizuka-sa-"

"No, Tokiwa." The cloak-wearing female made a cutting motion, silencing the taller Nadeshiko soldier. "If it is as she says, then I should be the one claiming such a duel instead. I am the future leader of Nadeshiko Village and this girl has it in her head to ignore and interrupt the customs of our home. How would she like it if I started bad-mouthing things her family saw as traditional? So yes, I will face her. And Lala-san if I must."

A few feet away, a now much more coherent Naruto was whispering furiously to the princess at his side. This wasn't good. Who could have foreseen such a blowout upon returning to the village? Or that Hinata liked him for so long and he never noticed? The hell was wrong with him? He always thought she was sick and prone to fainting spells! She certainly seemed fragile enough and it was a reason why he defended her so harshly. Everyone needs a good push of confidence and the blond took it upon himself to make sure his odd little classmate found her courage.

Apparently it worked.

Things were spiraling out of control.

Why couldn't he have a nice, quiet, stress-free life?

"Lala. You **cannot** do this."

"Oh? How come? It sounds fun!"

"For one, both of them are trained kunoichi. Plus you can get injured or killed! This isn't a game! And if you lose, then they're pretty much going to ask that you stay away from me and you'll _have_ to do it because you accepted the duel and its consequences! I'm not going to let you get hurt on my account if I can help it! Plus Zastin'll kill me, then your dad will bring me back somehow and then kill me before blowing up the Earth!"

"It'll be fine, silly." Lala turned to stand while ignoring his heated whispers but a hand snaked out and strongly grabbed her about the wrist, forcing her to stop and look back towards the male questioningly. While Naruto was still sitting in between the broken pieces of ground his eyes had sharpened into something fierce that caused the royalty to stare back in wonder at just how focused he was on her.

"I can't allow it. I'm supposed to protect you, remember?" Lala's lips wiggled as she slowly leaned back towards the blond and returned to kneeling in her spot. Her free hand dropped down to her ankles and took to drawing random squiggles in the dirt just to direct her focus somewhere else. Naruto was never this serious; not since their first encounter. How could she really go against such powerful conviction now? It was a tough choice to make. But his act was just like when she dropped into his bathroom all those months ago and he kept her out of the clutches of her father's envoy.

"I know." Her voice came out a murmur, finger picking up speed as the squiggles morphed from randomness into actual calculations that simply went over Naruto's head. She didn't even mean to, it just started happening. "And it makes me so happy to know that. But I'm not as helpless as you think."

"I don't think you can use your inventions Lala-chan. They'll bring too much attention."

"There are other ways. I'm strong too." She quickly poked her tongue out at him before hugging her knees against her bountiful chest. Naruto still had yet to unlatch his fingers from her arm which forced her to lean closer to him. "Can't you believe in me, like I do with you?"

Those words struck something in Naruto's soul and he found himself nodding without realizing what he was doing until it was too late. She did believe in him, wholeheartedly in fact, and to not show her the same level of trust stabbed at the boy's emotions like a red-hot knife. Lala's carefully neutral visage quickly grew into a shining smile as she reached out her hand and rubbed it against his cheek fondly. If anything it caused him to blush and her to giggle at how he squirmed slightly against her pleasant touch. This was how it should have been, and how she hoped their relationship would always be between them. Quarrels were unnecessary when both sides were willing to talk matters out. It made the pinkette feel a grander connection towards her mother with how the beautiful queen could gently talk her crazy papa out of any foolish idea he might gain when he was bored.

The Devilukan monarch was bored _a lot _now that he had systematically brought peace through conquest to the entire galaxy.

From his place on the wrecked ground Jiraiya looked on quietly at the close interactions of the two teenagers. Like Naruto, he had recovered quickly from Tsunade's brain scrambling and kept himself disguised as being barely lucid. What a clusterfuck this was though; three girls, fighting over his apprentice to essentially bed him at some point. The old sage was proud but dammit it was an unwanted circumstance. He really had forgotten about the whole Nadeshiko thing but would they really believe him? Fukasaku stood at the pervert's side, knowing full well he was awake, and sighed at how things were turning out. Ma was going to have a field day when she finally heard all the hubbub.

"Oooo! There's no way I can lose! I'm joining too!"

"Are you certain about that Lala?" The girl's head bobbled vigorously, sending her hair and other developed parts of her body bouncing around. The Senju grimaced slightly before sending a quick look towards Naruto who only nodded slowly at the silent question. Shrugging at no one in particular, she had little else to say on the matter. "Very well. The fights will be tomorrow by noon at the Chunin Exam Stadium. Until then I expect the three of you to keep your distance from one another. Cat, please show our guests where the arena is and a proper hotel if need be."

The feline-masked ANBU stepped forward and bowed, armor rustling against her lithe form, before she turned towards the pair of women bent on forcing Naruto into a battle. "Follow me, please."

"One moment. What of my original reason for journeying here? I am facing Naruto Uzumaki tomorrow too yes?"

"If you can win." Naruto's voice floated up exasperatedly, the young ninja's mind already reaching its filling point from all of the day's new intrusions. "We'll only have our fight if you can beat Lala and Hinata." Still squatting in the dirt, the mere sight of the jacketed blond holding a cozying Lala made Shizuka feel distinctly uncomfortable. Hinata's own personal thoughts bordered along the lines of a slasher pic, perceiving herself in the plucky green-eyed extraterrestrial's spot once the competition had been eliminated. The Hyuuga gave pause to wonder if she would ever even have the daring to rub her body so provocatively against Naruto's. Lala Satalin Deviluke was such a hussy!

"I suppose that is reasonable."

"Also I think your choosing a husband by combat and then kidnapping them is stupid, if we fight I'm kicking your butt, and then I'm going to leave and get on with my life." He just had to try and get in the last word didn't he? Antagonistic too. Shizuka closed her eyes and scoffed inaudibly before regarding the blond with a look one would reserve for a child that didn't understand the simplest of concepts.

"You are quite full of yourself aren't you? I hope you conform quickly after transferring to Nadeshiko. I expect my new husband to possess a strong-will. At least I already know you're dimwitted enough to mold into someone acceptable." With a swift nod to her new guard the flowery kunoichi fell in step with Tokiwa flanking her shadow. Tsunade and the others watched the trio of women leave before the busty blonde growled low in the back of her throat, more out of displeasure than anger.

"She's just a barrelful of happiness, ain't she? If only she wasn't essentially a dignitary…even if it's likely she signed in to our guest roster under false pretenses…"

"I too shall take my leave to prepare, Hokage-sama." Hinata fluidly tucked at her waist, long hair dangling over her shoulders before she drew herself straight and fluffed the purple locks back behind her slender neck. The girl then pushed past her leader with a small twirl and stopped in front of the jinchuriki/alien combo. A small heat returned to her cheeks as her opaque irises looked into his brilliant blue, ignoring everything and anything now that she was close to the man of her dreams. "It was so good to see you again N-Naruto-kun. Our next reunion after the duel will allow us to catch up in a…m-more p-private setting." Pale fingers fumbled together for a moment before Hinata dipped her head and left in a small patter of dust.

Silence reigned as Hinata's implication settled in their minds.

But was it as…sexual…as many of them believed it to be? An innocent soul such as the Hyuuga heiress? Preposterous! They were just reading too much into it, what with how crazy the entire day had been. Naruto, Lala, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Fukasaku, Ino, Sakura, Inoichi from his eavesdropping crack in the doorway, and the few adventurous crowd-goers that hadn't been chased away to a safe distance all had their own hypothetical version of the chunin's suggestion clear in their minds but none dared to bring them to light. Or they didn't see a reason to. Or just didn't want to.

At least until one daring blonde charmer clicked her tongue attentively and set a hand to rest on her hip. "Holy hell, I should've brought some popcorn. That was the most entertaining thing I've seen around here in years. Who knew Hinata actually had those kinds of thoughts? Or would even pursue them when given a chance?" Mmmm, the gossip floating in the air was simply delicious…but her glee as she ran a hand through her hanging fringe brought the brunt of Konoha's top role model for female academy students down to bear upon Ino.

"You two better not have been involved with Hinata's brash actions!"

"No ma'am!"

"We were just stopping by my shop and wound up walking behind her! Really, Tsunade-shishō!" Both Sakura and Ino were hanging off each other's shoulders in an attempt to appear nonchalant, laughing awkwardly under everyone's scrutinizing eye before the two froze and darted inside the flower store past the broken rubble. A rush of misty atmosphere filtered out as the door pulled open and the two chunin disappeared in a breathy huff.

"Yeah I don't buy that excuse one bit." Tsunade snorted and folded her arms underneath her projected bust. Even Pa freed a low rumble from the air sacs in his neck, pulling his toad-sized cloak about his coarse limbs as he nodded along. A quick hop allowed him to stand atop Naruto's head as the boy stood on his feet which let the elder summon have a greater view of his surroundings. All that remained were the two teenagers, the two sannin, and Fukasaku himself. Now that the hype had lifted the crowd had finally returned to the normal flow of foot traffic known in that area of the village.

"Ah gotta say this turned out a lot differen' that I thought it would. Yer both in fer a rough day tomorrow."

"Good thing Lala's a quick learner; we have to come up with countermeasures for both a Hyuuga and the fighting style of Nadeshiko." For the first time in awhile Jiraiya spoke and somberly at that. There wasn't even a minuscule hint of humor in his face as he leaned against the Yamanaka Flowers structure having abandoned his place lying on the ground. "Even though it's been so long since the whole Nadeshiko business went down, I'm still to blame. Lala will _have_ to outmaneuver Hinata and Shizuka tomorrow and we'll need to give her as many tips as she can remember."

"I'll remember them all!" Lala crowed, thumping her chest.

"Good. Because you're going to need it." The sage pushed off the wall and began walking away from the small group. "Tsunade-hime, you were taking Lala to get something right? Send her to Naruto's apartment when you're done. Pa, Naruto, you're with me. We can get a head start on things while the girls are finishing."

"Oh, uh…right? Don't worry Lala-chan. You're gonna kick butt tomorrow." Pa smiled crookedly as the pinkette raised her fist in agreement. It did nothing to lower Naruto's worry and yet the whiskered shinobi grinned back anyways at the look of determination shining in her dazzling eyes.

"Yeah!"

With a quick set of goodbyes the two toad summoners plus one set off for the boy's dingy home to begin planning. Naruto couldn't even feel his ire towards his teacher any longer; when Jiraiya became serious, like actually dead set on making a decision and following it through to the end, there was no longer any time for pettiness. It wasn't his _entire_ fault that the day had turned out like it did. At least he was humble enough to admit to the slip up and offer a solution.

It was times like this that Naruto could see past the goofy pervert and get a glimpse of the self-assured man that helped shape the Yondaime Hokage into the warrior that nearly decimated Iwagakure single-handedly in the last great war. The man that lost one teammate to the darkness just as Naruto had and yet continued on stronger than ever. History truly repeats itself…and the great and gallant Jiraiya would make sure his apprentice had the feminine support in his life that he himself didn't way back when.

Total annihilation of the world was also a bit of a contributing factor but the lion-maned shinobi wouldn't admit to that just yet.

On a separate note, a very self-conscious Yamanaka and Haruno were being subjected to the intense scrutiny of one highly experienced member of the Interrogation Corps. Not even Inoichi's daughter, someone whom he had taught personally about the art of cross-examination and raising her own resisctance to being grilled, broke down within minutes as her father formed a certain familiar handsign that spoke volumes on the implied threat. There was a reason the Yamanaka clan were known as the best mind-readers in all of the Elemental Nations; if they were after a piece of information then the most you could do before they ripped it from your memories was to try and stall for time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

How come every time he had a hangover someone decided that bellowing at the top of their lungs was a great idea? Zastin was never any good with alcohol and it was the very reason he barely ever touched the bitter burning liquid. He was the best swordsman in all of Deviluke and the personal bodyguard of the three royal princesses for crying out loud! To be wasted while on the job would be a blight against the king himself and surely end in the grey-haired man's execution. He only surreptitiously drank a few cups when it was that rare time of year where Zastin was actually off the clock. But since he and his two underlings had been compelled to hunt down Princess Lala, the scorpion-tailed warrior was set on a dry spell that could only end when his job was put on hold.

His muddled mind failed to remember the _why_ of his alcohol binge but it must have been pretty desperate, because the situation he had found himself in totally called for a drink. Or seven.

"-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS?"

Why did he decide to pour that liquid heat down his throat? Something about Maul's sister getting married…or she had a kid? Parties usually drowned people in beer and liquor. And cigars. Where the hell was his cigar? It was a celebration! He'd have to hunt down his black-haired assistant and finagle his damn smoke out of the stingy bastard.

The holographic screen projection of Lala's childhood friend was an odd sight but he chalked it up to the aftermath of his hangover.

"Ren-dono…please lower your voice…" The man covered his ears in a vain attempt to cancel out the noise. No such luck.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM? MY DEAR LALA-CHAN COULD HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY ONE OF HER MARRIAGE CANDIDATES AND YOU'RE SITTING THERE ON YOUR ARMORED ASS!"

"Please be quiet…" Bloodshot eyes cracked open for a moment before the swordsman buried his head in his arms and attempted to find a comfortable spot on the table he was leaning on. "I'm almost positive that she is in Naruto-dono's capable hands…" That's right; Lala was missing. He had searched high and low for the peculiar pinkette, getting lost on more than one occasion with the unfamiliar landmarks, until he was quite certain he could have drawn a complete map of the entire town of Sainan without error. His worrying was through the roof and yet his exhausted mind realized that both her fiancé and his guardian Jiraiya were gone too. It was summer vacation and the trio vanished…the simple solution was Lala forgot to alert the other Devilukans to their plans.

Such a ditzy girl.

But who cracked open the Deviluke-Brand Hellfire Whiskey?

The boy in the hologram paused before his next tirade could begin, the unfamiliar name rolling off his tongue oddly. "…who is this Naruto person?"

"…ugh…he's the candidate that Lala-sama currently favors. Heavily, at that…"

"You…you left her _alone_ with a possible contender for her hand in marriage? …YOU FOOL!"

'_Stop screaming you damn brat!_' Zastin thought murderously. The pounding only increased in tempo. "Odds are the both of them are currently with Jiraiya-sama…"

"I don't care who this Jiraiya idiot is! I knew her safety would fall to me once I learned she had escaped from the grand palace and **your** watch! With this I can surely prove to Lala-chan just how worthy I am, and how my manliness overflows-"

**CRUNCH-ZZZZTZZZZBZTZTZZTZTZZ-PHTTT!**

Any further words this 'Ren' fellow may have declared were cut off as the floating holographic projector was crushed between calloused fingers. A few seconds of static followed before the line went completely dead, snuffing out the last bit of bioelectricity stored in its crystal processors and the converters keeping its power threads stable.

"…sweet relief. Thank you, Smutts…"

"Who the hell is Smutts?"

That…was not Smutts voice. Nor was it Maul. But only those three had access to the ship! Whipping his head around (in hindsight, a very very bad idea) Zastin was able to make out the blurry outline of a tall, thin man with an athletic build wearing a loose dark blue shirt and tannish baggy pants. His hair was pure black, spiking backwards before gravity took over and forced it to fall towards his neck. A red headband helped keep the male's bangs out of his brown eyes which currently mirrored Zastin's own with the amount of blood vessels throbbing lividly within them. He also looked angry. Confused…but angry, if the muscle jumping in his sparsely bearded chin was anything to go by. The metallic remains of the alien technology dropped to his feet as his digits relaxed, clanging loudly in the silence.

The two stared each other down as the armored-carapace being worked to regain his bearings. His brilliant battle-hardened mind came up with the simplest question to ask a stranger who had wandered into a highly restricted (and controversial for Earthlings) spaceship.

"Who are you?"

It just set the man off. "Who am I? Who the hell are you, buddy? How did you get in my goddamn house?"

"H-house?" Oh. That made sense. Now that he looked around it was definitely _not _the living room of his Devilukan front-line shuttle. Extraterrestrial alloy was replaced by wood and paint, family pictures adorned the walls instead of viewing monitors, and he himself was halfway propped up on a couch and a small scuffed coffee table. He found his two subordinates as well; Maul was upside-down lying on his back against the television set with his legs in the air and Smutts had crawled halfway into the kitchen before passing out in a puddle of orange vomit. Noooooooooot gooooooooood. "This isn't my ship." he restated plainly.

"You're damn right it's not. Ship? You look nothing like a boat captain…weird ass cosplayer." It was then Zastin heard the unfamiliar human utter a sentence that would change his life, and the lives of those around him, for better or for worse. "Wait. Where's the wall to our backyard? Why is there a fucking wall missing from my house!" Well…that explained the debris on his clothes, gentle breeze ruffling his messy hair and cape, and the rubble strewn about the wrecked living room. Only two hungover gentlemen would take that long to notice the glaring structural change.

Zastin vowed he would never touch a drop of alcohol again if he came out of this in one piece.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOOOOOOOOUSE?"

Saibai Yuuki was not a happy man that day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Who has two thumbs and barely any free time? This guy. School seriously sucks this semester…criminal law is a bitch. Oh and for those who are wondering: Tsunade = Ruto-Baa. Lala calls Saibai Yuki by the nickname Rito-Papa so I figured she'd do something like that here. Plus I like the sound of that better than Naruto-Granny ._

_Thanks to Nasuren for helping me with some of the ideas he'll be seeing I added once he reads this chapter._

_Check my page too, yo. There's nice new poll waiting for people to interact with it and six different challenges looking for someone to adopt them. I wouldn't mind seeing what people could do there with a healthy dose of imagination._

_On a separate note, I have something I need to ask; what's up with certain fanfiction situations in both Naruto and Harry Potter? Pretty much every single story that I have ever read where Harry or Naruto has siblings, with the wrong Boy-Who-Lived or variations of the Kyuubi sealing, they are left behind by the parents and ignored. Every. Single. One. And then either the parents and siblings hate the MC or overlook them before suddenly Naruto/Harry shows them all by growing on his own or finding a teacher, leaving the family behind with their mega skill. Family suddenly grows remorseful after X amount of years of neglect once their blatant shortcomings are slammed in their face by either the MC or another, feeling the intense need to win back Naruto/Harry's favor despite the fact they never wanted it before which falls flat because MC is now a badass, or it's thought that he's gone dark/rogue/evil thanks to his new experience. And the sibling is arrogant with a god complex of Voldemort/Sasuke, or mirrors what the village/society does to the MC because all their life they've been told their sibling is a waste of space. Oh, and in the Harry stories he has a younger sister named Rose that he loves dearly, the only other Potter to actually care about him._

_Seriously. Haven't there been __**any**__ that involves the family actually caring about __**all**__ of their children? Or have I just overlooked them somehow? It just irks me that they all literally have the same premise with minor variations. Oh sure, each author does their own unique things which I understand but just…well, I guess you see where I'm going with it. I'm not saying __**all**__ of them are neglectful and all that…but those are the ones I've always seen. Or are these stories just a bunch of challenge responses? If so, disregard rant._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?

Chapter 9:

The place was packed as both customers and workers flittered around the maid café either to grab a bite to eat, check out the girls in cute costumes, or in the employee's case, simply do their job. Risa Momioka and Haruna Sairenji were able to finagle their way through the lacey interior and be seated at a table close to the wide, bracketed windows. Both girls were waiting for their orders to be ready and passed the time talking about their experience at the hot springs and anything else to speed up their wait. Luckily, despite being busy, it didn't actually take too long for their order to arrive since the pair only bought a sugary soda drinks covered in a multitude of fruits and such each. Something pretty normal for a joint like this.

Mio hummed happily to herself as she slid past a slim redhead who may or may not have been enticing her customer into spending more of his money by inconspicuously flashing her cleavage. Her friends' drinks were balanced upon the round tray she carried and the pigtailed-girl hoped they would enjoy them. Dressed in a custom maid uniform for the workplace, Mio fit right in with her fellow staff member out on the floor. A frilly headdress rested atop her hair, a tight dress and apron hugged her body while flaring out once it reached her hips, the fabric of her shoulders was large and puffy and made of the same material that covered her breasts, and her body was pretty much covered in lace and ribbons. Even her thigh-highs were made of the material and honestly the waitress believed the entire ensemble was extremely cute. The mousy female simply loved things like this.

Dressed to impress, Mio set the drinks down before readjusting her glasses and holding the serving dish against her small chest. "Enjoy~! Is there anything else I can do to serve you?"

"No this is fine. Thank you, Mio."

Risa took a quick sip of her sugary concoction and shot a grin towards her best friend. "You sure look like you're enjoying your new job." Mio just giggled and curtseyed slightly.

"Yup it's not bad at all. So far only one customer tried to grope me but was shot down by the more experienced members, and there were one or two incidents where I acted like a klutz. Other than that it's been a blast. Plus I just love this uniform!" Her words reminded Risa of something, the thought coming back to her in an instant and making her internally scowl. How the hell did she forget about something as big as this until now? Fiddling with her straw the pretty gal glanced towards her dark-haired friend with the red hairclip keeping her bangs from falling.

"Speaking of clumsy people…did you hear about what happened with Yuuki yesterday?"

Haruna immediately perked up, lips parting slightly as her spine straightened against the back of her chair. "What? No, I was busy helping my sister for most of the day. Yuuki-kun wasn't hurt, was he?" And so the worrying began. Yes Rito seemed to have an inordinate amount of bad luck that pressed him into unsatisfactory situations but the most he ever got was a beat down if the victim was a girl that was (accidentally) molested. Sairenji always held a fear that one day his awkwardness would injure him badly if he wasn't paying attention. She only hoped this wasn't a true cause for alarm.

"As far as I know he's fine. Something happened to his house and you know how housewives just love to gossip anywhere and everywhere; I overheard them on my way to your place before we came here."

The black-haired girl nervously smoothed out her skirt before checking the urge to bite at her thumbnail. "I'd…like to check on him, if only to make sure."

"You know where he lives?" Haruna blinked in realization before hesitantly shaking her head, hair swaying about from the motion. "What about his phone number?" A slight tinge of pink reached her cheeks but answered negatively again. By now Risa had a hand stroking her chin in thought before snapping her fingers. "I got it! I wonder if Naruto's back yet? He would know. They're all buddy-buddy with each other." She quickly fished her cell phone out from her pocket and quickly scrolled down her numbers. Finding her favorite blond's information she pressed 'send' and set the receiver at her ear.

Straight to voicemail.

Pouting, Risa sucked her teeth and flipped it closed. "No luck?" Mio asked, still standing next to the table. Luckily there were no other patrons she had to wait on and it looked like she was still assisting these to which gave her a few minutes to hang about.

"Nope. Dang. He must still be off on vacation with Lala-chii. That or he never turned his phone on today."

"What about Saruyama-san?" All three just took a moment before shrugging at each other. Rito was good friends with the mentioned male and the others were therefore acquaintances in passing because of Haruna's feelings for Rito. Things changed a bit when Naruto showed up and Risa started spending a bit more time around the boys, which dragged Mio and Haruna deeper into the friendship. The six of them were now all a bit of a group but still, there was that implication of being friends while still being strangers.

"We could swing by Naruto's house and see if he's home yet. I don't really see any other option right now."

"Oh you know where Uzumaki-kun lives?" Risa's grin returned at the innocent question. Gulping down the remains of her drink the auburn-haired tease reached for her purse while sending a wink at her friend.

"Oh yeah. We hung out with him the last time you and Yuuki had to stay to clean the classroom. Same day we first met Lala-chii too before she enrolled. Did you know we had to chase him? Mio and I were curious about his house but that sexy bastard got all flustered and ran off. We were panting like crazy; he hadn't even broken a sweat." That spoke wonders about his stamina but surprisingly the un-modest student was able to hold her tongue. "He was sure surprised when we showed up behind him. Thankfully Yuuki and Saruyama like to talk loudly all the time and we overheard Naruto's address."

Mio decided to jump in as the three walked towards the register. "He wasn't the only shocked one though; when the front door opened and Lala-chii jumped him from behind?"

"I was more focused on her rockin' body before I understood why he was panicky about us coming over." Risa felt herself giggling at remembering the horror Naruto portrayed as soon as that set of pink hair and squishy assets threw her arms around his back. "Plus we learned his guardian writes some pretty interesting books."

"Which series?"

"We'll tell you when you're old, sweetie." Haruna felt her cheek be lightly pulled by her joking companion but her ineffectual response only caused the petite female to mope. What kind of useful answer was that? Both were soon on the road after departing their friend's café with a round of goodbyes, strolling down the street while casually chatting away. Things began to take a different turn when Sairenji began to notice that the houses were beginning to look more and more upper class as time went by and _not_ something a person labeled as a 'street punk' could afford.

"We're heading the correct way, yes?"

"Mmmm. Just wait till you see Naruto's house."

That was an understatement. Haruna felt like screaming when her eyes landed upon the building where the blond supposedly bunked. That wasn't a house, it was a damned mansion by her standards! Risa's urging to breathe helped the tennis club member's brain reboot and help her suck in a few shaky breaths while the other gently tapped her on the back. "H-how wealthy is Uzumaki-k-kun?"

"Filthy stinkin' rich. It's a shock, I know. We weren't really hit by its magnitude until we were already inside, having been more focused on the arrival of Lala-chii. You seem to be taking it a lot worse than Mio and I did though."

"It's just…he never acts snobbish like some of the nobles we've seen. I find it hard to believe such a frugal goofball could come from a house that could afford this." Haruna used her fingers to set a few bangs behind her ear. Risa's hand trailed along the iron-wrought fence as they followed the path next to the property. It was a mixture of Eastern and Western culture, with its obvious design housing Japanese-styled rooms and exterior, but with the flair of English/American decorations. The place was really pretty.

"Naruto probably has to save up whatever he makes anyways. I don't believe he inherited anything from his parents that could stick him in this building…but he's never really talked about his family either." She said as her face fell slightly. It was for but a moment though as the grin returned in full force. "But like I said, his guardian writes some best-selling novels that's gotta be their main source of income."

"Don't hold out on me Risa, not after all this. What books?" she all but demanded. The brunette's smile turned downright devious as she leaned over to wrap an arm around the other girl's slender neck. With her lips nearly nibbling on the ravenette's outer lobe, she sensually whispered the words 'Icha-Icha' accompanied by a tender grope of Haruna's chest. Her soft scream of embarrassment and realization caused Risa to laugh jovially while pulling away. Good times. Good times…

But the good-humored brunette suddenly stopped in her tracks, causing her female friend to run directly into her back. Both tripped but managed to stay upright. However Haruna was curious as to why Risa paused so abruptly. "What the hell is this?" she heard Risa mutter quietly. Peering around the girl's figure, the sight before them elicited a gasp of shock. There was a moving van in front of the house. A few bulky men were loitering around the lawn, one was even smoking a freakin' cigar, and a few boxes were set aside for later delivery.

"Uzumaki-kun is moving?"

"What the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell?" Risa was off in a flash, striding with a purpose up to one of the men on break. The guy quirked an eyebrow as the attractive teenager stormed right up to where he was sitting at the open door of the delivery truck. "Hey! Yeah, buddy! Are the people here moving?" One arm reached up and jabbed at the front door. The worker snorted at her inquiry though; what else would it be?

"I think you can figure that one out on your own."

"It was a simple question." she groused through clenched teeth. Haruna laid a comforting hand on the first-year's shoulder as she walked forward, placing herself partway between the two.

"Please, sir. Someone we know lives here and we merely want to know why there's a moving truck in front of the house."

This one looked a tad bit less curvy but compared to the grating female at her side, she seemed so much more innocent and pleasant. Slapping on a smile, the mover nodded his head and tried to ignore the glare being sent his way. "Well if you must know we were tasked with _bringing_ some stuff here, not take it away. So no; no one is actually leaving this place."

"Ya coulda just said that first, bastard…"

"What was that?"

"Come on, Risa!" Sairenji deftly pulled the brunette away before she could exacerbate the situation any further. The most she could do instead was stick out her tongue and pull down her eyelid at the disgruntled employee, getting dragged all the way up to the front door before finally calming down enough to speak without shouting.

"What a dick. Seriously. He could have just answered me without acting like a smartass."

"Let's just figure out the mystery here…"

"Alright, alright." The portal was wide open, so much that all Risa had to do was poke her head inside for a look. Still as fancy looking as the last time. Hell, there was even a set of spiky hair atop a person standing in the hallway near the stairway. Yup, just like-wait a tic. The mildly depraved brunette did a double-take at seeing such a familiar mane inside the mini mansion. But it was not the bright yellow she was expecting; instead, it was Naruto's favorite color:

Orange.

"Yuuki? What are you doing in Naruto's house?" Upon hearing his name Rito craned his neck to look over his shoulder at the recognizable voice. Amber eyes widened in recognition and he smiled awkwardly, unsure exactly as to whether or not Risa being there was good or bad. Sticking his hands in his jean pockets, the male twisted around fully and shrugged his shoulders at her question.

"I sorta feel like I should be asking you that as well."

"Me? Well, we came to see if Blondie was back yet and learn where _you_ lived, because I heard a bunch of rumors that something happened to your home and a certain person was worried about you."

"…oh? Who?"

"Hello Yuuki-kun." Every muscle in Rito's body seized at once as Haruna's raven hair and wide violet eyes slowly appeared behind Risa, the duo fully entering into the ninja's abode without so much as an 'excuse me'. The orange-haired boy's entire focus was on the way the love of his life was fidgeting slightly yet still smiling kindly in his direction as he inadvertently moved closer. Oh, such a sweet, caring girl! His heart rate rose to frightening proportions as the blood coursing through his body had trouble figuring out how it should flow properly. Most decided to go to the vessels in his cheeks despite the touching moments the two shared at school, the aquarium, and the school trip which should have jaded him somewhat.

"A-ah, Sairenji! Hiya!" Before Rito could trip over his own feet and start up the whole 'making a fool of himself' shtick, Risa wedged in between the two budding romantics and pushing them apart. Those two could stumble around later; trying to express the feelings that were rather obvious to everybody but them. Something far more pressing was burning at her thoughts. The brunette could always tease them later.

"Alright, we answered yours. You answer ours."

"Oh, ah…right." Swallowing, the male scratched his head awkwardly and looked around. "Well…like you said, something happened to our house. I'm not exactly sure how it happened but all I remember is hearing a loud boom during the right. I ran to see if Mikan was alright and she looked just as worried as I was. Then we both hear our dad yelling, which was rare because he usually only comes back home after a tough night of work anyways, so we went to take a look. We find a big freaking hole in the living room wall…and dad's trying to choke some guy with grey hair wearing weird armor of all things. It seems the stranger and his two buddies got drunk during the night and broke in accidently, thinking it was their 'ship'…whatever that means."

"And they destroyed part of your house in the process? What the hell were they carrying, a bomb?"

"No clue. But they were able to calm dad down a bit by offering to fix the damage and even give us a temporary place to live." Rito turned and gestured an arm grandly about the room. At that moment a tall man walked through the foyer, pausing and blinking his eyes at seeing two unknown females standing next to the boy. Based upon his description it was easy to see why Rito seemed so disbelieving. Who had hair such a color that _wasn't_ in a manga...barring Naruto's guardian. And his clothes? The damn protection looked like it was carved out of dinosaur bones. He even had heterochromia! And was that the end of a sword sticking out from underneath his cape? Holy crap!

"I was not aware we were having guests, Rito-san."

"Sairenji, Momioka, this is…Zastin. These two are friends of mine from school."

"Royal swordsman of the Deviluke Empire and current bodyguard of Lala-sama, Zastin at your service." The man bowed regally, reminding everybody of a knight in the service of a king.

"Hold up; Lala-chii's bodyguard?"

"Of course! A princess must be protected at all times!" Zastin looked aghast at how confused Risa had sounded in her question. What he didn't know was that the others still knew very little about the pink-haired cutie; and on that note, her fiancé as well. But now things were starting to click into place. If Lala was important enough to warrant an armed guard and was a princess of all things, and Naruto was actually some sort of well-off rich person, then no wonder the two were engaged.

"…how am I supposed to compete with a dang princess?" Haruna could feel her companion's quiet angst and draped her arms around the girl's shoulders in support. Both men looked at the pair inquisitively but before either could ask what Risa meant by that sentence, a new voice called out from the upper stairway. A thatch of wavy, pineapple-scrunchied hair peered over the railing casually but, like everyone else, took another look upon seeing a few extra members aside from her brother and Zastin.

"Hey Rito, I need your help with-oh, hello?"

"What do you need Mikan?"

The younger Yuuki child motioned with her hand for him to come up after waving towards the black-haired teenager on the ground floor. "Oh hi Sairenji-san. And Rito; I was going to do some minor cleaning in Naruto's room as a thank you for letting us stay but the door is jammed. It's not locked or anything, it just seems like there's something heavy keeping it from opening. Dad's busy checking out the garden in back and I didn't want to bother him."

"Coming! Ah, excuse me for a moment." Stocking-covered feet padded against the stairway as Rito joined his sister on the second floor. From what the sibling duo had discovered upon their quick search to acquaint themselves with the floor plan, the older man that watched over his blond friend took over the main bedroom situated at ground level. The Yuuki's decided to just leave that bit alone because neither knew much about the one named Jiraiya. Better to not get on his bad side if they wanted to keep living there.

Everyone else was upstairs. Lala had decorated her door with a colorful sign depicting cutely drawn versions of her and Naruto's faces inside a heart surrounding her name. Mikan thought it was sweet; Rito couldn't stop laughing at the way his pal's penciled face looked so grumpy. As for Naruto's own room, a simple spiral was placed upon the wooden entrance that the Earthling seemed to notice Naruto had claimed as his own personal insignia. For simplicity's sake, Rito took the room next to Lala's and Mikan called the one next to Naruto's as her own so they formed a neat little square. As for the boy-girl alternates…the small brunette claimed she wanted to be close to the bathroom and the ninja already slept in the one on the opposite side.

Rito didn't really care where he bunked but Mikan's reasoning did seem a little odd to him for some reason.

Pushing against the door, he felt it wobble slightly while a faint grinding noise met his ears. Strange. It barely moved. Did the bed somehow slide in front of the doorway? How would that work anyways unless someone did it themselves? With a grunt he tried again. And again. And again. Soon enough the clumsy freshman was panting angrily while his sister watched on, amused at his strained attempts. The event came to a climax when the entrance _finally _gave way and pushed inward. Rito cried out victoriously but stopped mid-note when the sharp sound of something snapping reached his ears and his world was turned upside-down in a heartbeat. A thin object wrapped around his ankle and yanked heavily, dragging the poor boy inward. It all happened in a second before the world stopped spinning and his stomach was able to settle somewhat from the unexpected trip.

"…are you okay?" Focusing his vision, Rito tried to look up Mika as she flipped her skirt end to keep it from exposing anything important as she bent down to look him in the eyes.

"I…t-think?" Who the hell booby-trapped their room? Not anyone who was sane! Because right now, the orange-haired boy was suspended by a bunch of wire binding him like a spider web in the open space with his whole body inverted. Wiggling did nothing but drawn the cocoon tighter until he was completely at the mercy of the thin metal cable. "Mikan! Help!"

"It's a good thing I had you go first. But why would Naruto do this to his doorway?...and how did he set this up?"

"Stop being amazed and get me down!"

"But it's really elaborate. It's not hurting you either."

"T-that's not the point!"

By now the others had rushed upstairs and joined the Yuuki siblings, having heard Rito's yell and subsequent 'fall'. Risa immediately descended into laughter as she found the whole sight utterly hilarious. Haruna looked as worried as she possibly could, wanting to help her crush but unsure how to proceed. Zastin though…he had the most neutral expression out of all of them. As if this wasn't a strange sight to behold, and things of this nature were somehow normal here in the Uzumaki household.

"Ah, worry not Rito-san. I will get you down in a jiffy." And then he pulled out the sword which proved he did indeed carry a blade. Which, by now, it seemed only natural that the man would remove a frickin' claymore-looking weapon out of the folds of his cloak. Why the hell not? "Please remain still." Zastin's arm blurred as the white-haired swordsman lashed out at the wire holding Rito hostage. The problem was he decided to start at the top of the problem and not the more logical bottom. So when the first few strands were severed, the teenager found himself lurching forward…

…headfirst into Haruna's crotch.

"KYAAA!" The girl reacted just as one would expect of a female who had inadvertently just had a love interest force their face against her panty-clad core; she screamed like the dickens and slapped with all her might. Rito was sent spinning like a top from the blow, cheek extremely red from the hit and unable to stop himself from turning. With those few wires cut the rest of the trap began to unravel and soon gravity took over. His bindings growing slack, the spinning sent the rest of the wire off his restrained body while said body flew like a ragdoll towards the rest of the group. All but the Devilukan found themselves suddenly on the ground with a heavy, lightheaded weight holding them down.

"Yuuki! G-get off!" His reply to Risa's hurried demand was muffled, seeing as his face was now lodged up against Haruna's bust. Not only that but his stomach was covering Risa's eyes _and _one of his hands was groping her chest, and one of his feet had snaked its way inside Mikan's shirt which did more bad than good. Whether or not Rito Yuuki was one of the luckiest bastards in the world or fate was against him still remained to be seen. As he struggled to free himself from the flailing pile of female flesh, all his attempts merely exacerbated the situation.

Haruna was of two minds to her plight. The more repressed side happily accepted the fact that Rito was doing something so bold and perhaps it meant he did truly see her as attractive and the spark she felt between them had some ground to it, but then again it was here in front of everyone else, and looked to be more of an accident, but-ooh-stop wiggling like that! Her bra was messed up enough already without him moving it around more!

Risa just wanted him off. She was supposed to be the one that got in a bunch of unwanted touching, not the other way around.

Mikan continued to gasp as his foot pulled her top ever higher before finally she wriggled out of the odd hold and readjusted her clothing in a huff. "Rito what are you doing?"

"Pwah! I didn't mean to!" Finally finding a proper hold, the male rolled off of the unfortunate victims and shook the remaining dizziness from his mind. All four of them rose to their feet, blushing like mad as the lone alien looked away to act like he didn't just witness something rather indecent. As the embarrassment slowly died off and the group returned to normal everyone took to staring at the remains of the wire trap in the blond's room. "I…have a question, Zastin. Shouldn't you have known something like this would have happened? You live here!"

"Ah, well…yes? I sadly admit that Lala-sama and the others left before I was alerted to their departure but I do not actually stay here in this domicile. I only found out when I came to visit and discovered the entire place locked down tight, unable to get in as I have no key. My princess forgot to even leave me a note…"

"Then how were you able to get inside?" Haruna asked quizzically.

"That's something I'd like to know as well." A new voice asked, causing the others to spin around. There in all his glory stood Naruto in a pair of shorts and a tank top looking rather put out by his new find. The sight of him not only stunned the group but the look in his eyes made him look so established than the prankster he was known to be. His body and posture just screamed with an invisible power and maturity that wasn't there before he left on the trip."Because, really, I'd like to hear the reason as to why you're all here in a place I thought was locked up tight!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

:A few hours earlier:

"It's not fair I tell you!"

Truer words about Naruto's life had never been said. After yesterday's events, both Naruto and Lala had retired to the boy's apartment where the blond immediately collapsed into his bed. Only the sight of Pa and Jiraiya at his window roused the boy from trying to asphyxiate himself with his pillow. An impromptu war council took place over the next few hours as the pinkette's plan of action was fleshed out for the upcoming battle. Shizune had shown up about halfway through to deliver an old scroll on the nuances of the Shikō Kettō, both her hair and kimono the same shade of midnight looking disheveled from the search she had been forced to undertake. As the main leader of the village Tsunade had to maintain the look of the impartial judge-

-which was why she ordered her faithful assistant to do the work for her instead.

Scouring through the rules and such, the assembly created what they believed to be a viable and Lala-friendly arrangement to end it all without too many problems. The old toad sage was soon kicked out after Devilukan princess yawned and drowsily told Peke to power down for the night, leaving her body nude to the world. Fukasaku merely croaked in amusement before bidding the two goodnight and mentioning he would see them all tomorrow. He was soon gone in a puff of smoke and as the remaining ninja moved to let Lala sleep on his bed while he took another spot, she had pulled him into a hug that meant any escape was futile before she drifted off to sleep. Trapped between the iron grip of his fiancé and the softness of her body, the jinchuriki merely did what he could to make himself comfortable while still wearing his ninja uniform.

The next morning, too soon for his liking, Tsunade kicked in his door with a loud bang and dragged the half-alert boy off the mattress. Lala cheerfully greeted her new 'grandma' after yawning away any remaining vestiges of sleep. Her question of why Naruto fell on the floor was left unanswered. Flanking the Godaime once again was Shizune and, surprisingly, Shima. The female toad elder had popped in by herself to help aid in Lala's pre-battle preparation. After all, the bubbly alien was now considered a part of the Toad Clan and Ma's newest grandbaby. When else did the old amphibian ever get to kick around with other females when she herself lived in an animal society composed mostly of men?

So, after Naruto begrudgingly got ready for the day, the blond was promptly picked up by the back of his collar and thrown out the door by Tsunade. The busty blonde slapped a decent chunk of change into his hand before ordering him to go find his friends and have a little fun before the festivities began. Besides it would do some good if he proved to a select few he was in no way tricked or forced into becoming Lala's husband. The rumor mill was an uncontrollable beast and who knows what the other former rookies had heard through the grapevine?

The two blonds traveled together until lo and behold, one of Naruto's buddies appeared down the street. Surprisingly it was one who would never normally be up at such an hour. With the laziness of the Nara Clan flowing through his body, one would believe that Shikamaru would still be asleep in his room upon his own, probably extremely comfy, bed. What followed was a rather animated greeting to one of the other members of the former Sasuke Retrieval Squad, to which the pineapple-haired boy merely clicked his tongue.

"Troublesome…"

But there was a lazy smile on his face, so it was all good.

Following the welcoming Naruto discovered the only reason as to why Shikamaru was actually awake was because his mother had started bitching him out for not acting like a real ninja and out doing something productive with his time. So he sorta did what she asked; expending time and energy to look for a new spot to sleep. Until, that is, Naruto started yanking him around in search of the rest of their academy schoolmates. One after another (with Shikamaru's unwilling help) the rest of the boy's were rounded up and the party of Naruto Uzumaki, Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akimichi, Kiba Inuzuka and his dog Akamaru, and Shino Aburame found themselves eating an early morning meal at Konoha's premier barbecue joint, Yakiniku Q. Neji Hyuuga could not be found and was believed to be aiding Hinata and would not want to be disturbed. Rock Lee was missing as well…but he was most likely off training his ass off like he did every day and it would take too long to hunt him down.

Naruto wanted ramen. Chouji shot that down stating Team Ten/Team Asuma always ate there when holding a celebration. Naruto challenged that claim by stating only two of the people there were from that genin team. Chouji blasted back saying that they were celebrating two things: the blond's engagement and return. Naruto pouted but ordered his food nonetheless.

And so, as the members of the former Rookie 9 cooked and prepared their savory meal, the calm was broken by one canine-centric ninja. Kiba, like nearly all members of his clan, had a rather wild appearance with a few physical traits that resembled an animal. Messy brown hair, black slit-like eyes, and red markings on his cheeks that did their job of stating which family he hailed from. A black forehead protector was wrapped around his head as well as a black zippered jacket/pants combination, sandals, and required pouches. Those of the Inuzuka were partnered with a dog or dogs at a young age and the partnership was the basis of all their family techniques. It carried over into their regular lives as well, instilling an unbreakable sense of loyalty and enhanced senses far beyond that of any other ninja. However it did make him brash and outspoken as he did his best to show off how he was a skilled shinobi and could outdo anyone else at what they did.

"It's not fair!"

"We get it Kiba; you're jealous. Deal with it and eat your food before Akamaru does." Shikamaru replied dryly as the dog-nin woofed from his spot from the bench next to his owner. As the restaurant had a 'no pets' policy, the oversized animal was currently using his own human transformation technique to take on the guise of Kiba. While it was odd having two of the same person there the waiters only saw more money to be made.

"But I can't, lazy ass! Naruto here was one of the 'uncool' guys from the academy as you always put it! But now suddenly he's got **three** banging hotties after him? What the hell!" The black-haired shinobi shrugged at his friend's heated argument. The Nara member looked as bored as he could despite the extremely intelligent brain hidden behind his spiky ponytail. A genius IQ came at the expense of viewing the world as a bore, plaguing all members of his extended family that used the manipulation of shadows in their attacks. He was the only one of their age group to actually wear something close to standard Konoha ninja attire; a green flak jacket, black long-sleeved shirt and pants, sandals, and accessories. Shikamaru was never one for wearing his hitai-ate properly though, instead taking to tying it to his bicep. Only now after the three-year absence it seemed he forwent the cloth entirely and sewed the metal plate into his left sleeve. Lastly, a pair of studs earrings were worn in his ears.

"You know, I sorta take offense to that. Like I said on the way here…all I'm really maybe interested in is Lala. Shizuka is a pain, and I only ever saw Hinata as a friend…or that odd girl that always fainted around me for some reason. Now I know why, but still."

"But…but they're both so good looking…" the chunin argued back weakly. Naruto paused in flipping his sizzling piece of steak over on the grill and slowly nodded at the fact.

"Okay, I'll give you that one. Shizuka has a pretty face but I don't think she's ever cracked a smile before. And Hinata really…ah…developed while I was gone."

"Right?" Kiba said happily as a leer crossed his lips. "And that's why I'm ticked off!"

"So go ahead and ask Hinata out already! Sheesh! Maybe if you do that she'll call the whole thing off and all I'd have to worry about is Ms. 'I'm butthurt about my village rules'."

"That would not work as you believe it would. Why? Because the Shikō Kettō is not some run-of-the-mill battle. Hinata-san cannot simply retract her duel on a whim. The only way to end this is for the three females to face each other." Shino supplied monotonously from inside of his pale sea-green jacket. The Aburame, as well as Chouji's Akimichi clan, were all considered noble clans of Konohagakure no Sato alongside the Hyuuga and Uchiha. It allowed the bug-using shinobi a better insight into just how grave the situation could turn out to be. In the past a few of his own predecessors had been called out into the intense fight. Whether or not they won he found it unnecessary to ask as it did not presently affect him in any way.

Like all members of his highly logical and nigh-emotionless family, Shino wore large, baggy clothing to hide the detail that his entire body was the living quarters of a hive of specially-bred insects that lived off chakra for survival. A pair of dark round shades covered his eyes from view and with the added effect of his coat's hood pulled over the top of his spiky dark brown hair and the high collar drawn up to his nose, one could barely tell who was hidden within. Finishing off the outfit was a set of black pants, sandals, and his ninja effects.

"It's worth a try though, right?" Naruto asked somewhat cautiously as Shino continued to stare a hole in his head from his spot on the other side of Kiba. Due to his new clothing making him seem even more inconspicuous and mysterious than when they were younger, the jinchuriki hadn't recognized the Aburame despite greeting everyone else right off the bat. Shino had turned his back to him with a low buzzing emanating from his form even as Naruto apologized for the mishap.

Sadly, Shino was one to hold a grudge for a _long_ time.

"No."

"…you're just angry about earlier, aren't you?"

A low, ominous droning began to sound out from within the confines of the bug boy's clothing. "No." he replied again, just as neutrally as before but anyone with a set of ears could tell he was sulking.

"Ahhh don't take it personally. Shino here's always like this. He won't come out and say how he's feeling. Hell, he's still sore at missing out on chasing down Sasuke." Kiba joked, throwing an arm around his teammate's shoulder while ignoring the quiet demand to release him. Akamaru grunted to at least show someone agreed with his master before returning to the raw piece of meat being held clumsily in his 'hands'.

"I know he was out on a mission with his dad that day but personally I would have loved for Shino to be there. Remember the guy I had to fight, the one that drained our chakra with that earth dome? Shino's kikaichu would have helped slow down the process I think." Gnawing down on the well-cooked beef strip held between his chopsticks, Chouji swallowed and wiped at his mouth with a napkin. Compared to their days as genin the self-proclaimed 'big-boned' Akimichi seemed like he had changed the most physically.

While still larger than the others of his age group, as were all members of his clan that used the calorific energy supplied by food to fuel their techniques, the male had pushed himself in his training to catch up with his friends. The polite and caring boy gained confidence in his abilities and even a fair bit of muscle up against the fat which helped him grow into the proud chunin he was today. It even helped him earn the right to wear his family's battle armor; a bodysuit (colored red in his case) with protective plates reminiscent of the ones worn by samurai with the kanji for food in the center of his chest. His spiky brown hair hung down to his wait and was kept out of his eyes by a red forehead protector. Finishing up his look was a set of swirls on his cheeks to express the kin he was a part of. Like Shikamaru, he too wore a set of studs in his ears.

"I guess…" Shino seemed happy by the remark though. And if by happy, you meant the slight nod Chouji received from the silent guy sitting across from him.

"But then again I don't know if I would have pushed myself so hard in battle and found the resolve to keep fighting well after I would have normally fallen."

"We all thought we were going to die that day…half of us nearly did…" Kiba said a bit somberly while sending a glance towards his canine companion. Chouji and Neji were stuck in intensive care at the outset of the chase, Akamaru's muscles were torn up rather badly, Kiba had a self-inflicted kunai wound in his abdomen as well as some internal damage where a few of his organs were out of place, and Shikamaru wound up with the lightest injury of a finger he broke to escape a genjutsu alongisde sheer exhaustion. Naruto's whole body was wrapped up like a mummy on his return; the only reason he hadn't been stuck in the ICU was because of the Kyuubi's meddling.

"It is reasons like that as to why you should not be afraid of going to your comrades for assistance."

"Tell ya what, Shino. You're pretty smart and can look at a problem differently than others might. If I ever need help with something I'll come and find you first if I can. How's that sound? And you can do the same with me if you ever need to get revenge on someone without them ever finding out who did it."

"That is…acceptable, Naruto-san." The others believed Shino was pleased by the compromise and felt the oppressive resentment in the air dismiss itself. The Aburame were loners by nature; not many wanted to associate themselves with somebody that willingly let bugs infest their skin and muscle. He just wanted to be thought of as another one of the guys. In the academy Naruto, Kiba, Shika, and Chouji were always in a group of their own during classes before they started to drift apart near the end of their schooling days. Shino was alone even then, taking to watch from afar but never asking to be included. The rare times the others asked him to play he cherished greatly despite never showing his joy. It wasn't until after the fiasco of the Chunin Exams that the boys banded together again like in their youth, stoic Shino incorporated within.

Except for, y'know, the last mission before Jiraiya took Naruto out of the village.

After that the discussion dropped to little more than small talk about Naruto's feminine problem and the honor duel that was fast approaching. For one that like to be center of the limelight, the whiskered-blond was surprisingly able to keep his mouth shut when asked if he had any idea what Lala would do. Instead he just told them to watch and wait. Only Kiba continued to pester Naruto about his aloofness and such until it eventually culminated in a minor scuffle between the two on their way to the arena.

As the small group finally arrived at the large building chock full of civilians and ninjas alike, a smattering of past memories assaulted the five men. Victories, losses, forfeits, even the ensuing chaos that followed once it was revealed Sand and Sound were in cahoots to destroy the Leaf. Pushing their way through the crowd (not even a full day and the news already traveled around town like the plague) to try and find a good view of the fight, it was a surprise to see Kakashi and Gai waiting in the wings. Gai-sensei was a tall, flamboyant man that liked to spout off phrases involving 'youth' and 'flames'. But despite his distracting appearance of thick black eyebrows, small eyes, black hair shaped in a bowl-cut, unzipped flak jacket, and green full-body leotard with orange leg warmers, this was one man Naruto knew he would always be hard-pressed to fight against. Konoha's premier taijutsu specialist would always be a tough opponent no matter how strong the blond grew.

"Naruto-kun! So good to see you again!" Gai began to laugh, loud and boisterously which had the effect of those around him moving away to escape the hearty man. "Isn't it such a beautiful day for such a youthful fight to take place?"

"Oh, uh…hi Gai-sensei, Kakashi-sensei. And I guess?"

"I can see you've grown increasingly stronger since the last time we met! It warms my heart to know you've taken your training to the extremes!"

The copy-cat ninja cut in before his 'rival' could continue on with one of his spirited rants. "It's a good thing we caught you, Naruto. Hokage-sama requested to see you before the duel began. If you'd follow us we'll take you there now."

"Why?"

Kakashi just shrugged in that aloof manner of his before motioning for the jinchuriki to follow. "Who knows?"

"D-damn your hip attitude, Kakashi! Do you not care about listening to our leader?" The grey-haired man's uncovered eye locked onto Gai's indignantly shaking fist. In reply the man cupped his exposed ear as if he was hard of hearing, leaning towards his jounin comrade with a small tilt of his waist.

"One more time?"

"Gaaah!"

Using the moment to his advantage Kakashi's eye curved into his trademark smile as he placed a hand on his former student's shoulder and began to lead him away. The others were given a quick goodbye before they were overcome by the rest of the idling masses and the decision was made to head off to grab a seat. As the bushy-browed instructor snapped out of his thoughts, he noticed his fellow ninjas already left the area and immediately jumped against the nearby wall to sprint straight back to Tsunade without anything impeding his progress. Darn that Kakashi for leaving him behind!

Up in the stands the guys were able to find a row of free spots thanks to the fact they noticed Ino flagging them all down with a rapid waving of her arm. Next to her sat Sakura who forced a smile on her face once the rest of her friends had settled in. The poor girl looked like she hadn't slept much and even Ino looked a bit weary with her motions. As Shikamaru slumped in his chair to try and find the most comfortable position against the hard plastic, he casually rolled his neck to the side to give the pair of kunoichi a lidded stare.

"Something troubling you two?"

"Not at all."

"Nope."

"Really? Because you both look guilty about something." Sakura and Ino shared a quick look that was almost imperceptible to the naked eye. However they were all ninja; even fleeting movements could be caught if you were trained well enough. The shadow-user sighed and immediately looked towards the large open ceiling, his sharp mind already piecing together what may have happened with the bits of info he had been able to overhear. "So I guess the gossip mill was wrong and neither of you were with Hinata when she called out Shizuka and Lala?"

"A-ah…"

"Welllll…"

"What a drag…totally guilty."

"Guilty."

"Bark!"

"You tell 'em, Akamaru!"

"Shut up! I was just trying to help out Hinata and Forehead!" Ino shouted back, pale blue eyes filled with murder as she tried to intimidate the shinobi around her. None of them were easily bullied as they would have a few years back but still, the threat of being punched still had the effect of making them all lean away to escape any harm that might befall them.

"So you two are the reason there's this big three-way battle today?" Chouji asked placidly, trying to settle his teammate's ire. As the attractive blonde settled back in her seat with a 'harrumph' the pinkette's grip on her bicep tightened in response.

"I just…look. When I saw Naruto yesterday he mentioned something that made it sound as if Lala tricked him into marrying her. I thought if he found someone that actually wanted to be with him, and not through deceit, things would be easier on him in the long run. So we grabbed Hinata. I just wanted what's best for Naruto. How was I supposed to know she'd go this far?"

"Simple. Why, you may ask? Because Hinata-san has not been in a right state of mind ever since discovering that someone else took the spot at Naruto-san's side she coveted."

A rippling roar of approval overtook the crowd and put any more conversation grinding to a halt as the participants of the Shikō Kettō entered one by one through the participant's floor entrance. All three of the women were wrapped up in kimonos, surprising the masses because the outfits were of the normal variety. A battle kimono would have made more sense…especially since it wasn't exactly effortless to move around in such restricting garments. Hinata was dressed in a deep purple number with spattered flower emblems that made her look like the nobility she was, Shizuka had gone with a simple black version with white trimmings that showed off she actually _did_ have a nice figure to compliment her pretty face, and Lala had chosen a blinding orange piece with wavy patterns that she somehow made look enticing.

The trio proceeded to spread out until the three girls were standing close by to the thick stone walls. With the spacing they formed a triangle pattern, looking inward towards the center of the arena. Each and every one of them held a look of determination although the pink-haired alien looked as if she was trying not to bounce on the balls of her feet. High above the spectator seats sat the leader's box designed for the Hokage and any other visiting dignitaries. Tsunade, Jiraiya, Shizune, and Tokiwa were the only ones currently present (disbarring the normal ANBU guard) but that soon changed when a disinterested-looking man with flowing black hair and expressionless, whitish eyes entered the open-air box via the stairway. Dressed in a white robe tailored for outdoor use, his eyes and posture easily screamed he was of the Hyuuga clan.

"Welcome, Hyuuga-dono."

"Tsunade-sama." he returned impeccably, easily slipping into the seat next to the Nadeshiko visitor with innate grace. Had his face not been so clearly male, one would think Hiashi Hyuuga was an incredibly dignified girl. But as the head of the Main Branch of his family and in complete control of the Side Branch, he was a man that had manners and social interactions pounded into him from a very young age.

And it showed.

"You showed up just in time. The girls just now walked out onto the field." Jiraiya commented from his space on the other side of Tokiwa. Hinata's father gave a curt nod but his gaze did not stray from looking down upon the ground floor. The male sannin continued to speak though, knowing the elder Hyuuga was still listening in. "Honestly though, I'm surprised you allowed your daughter to continue on with this."

"Despite my misgivings, Hinata is still an adult in the eyes of the village proper. This was her decision and hers alone; once claimed, one cannot simply use their authority to override such a critical notion. It was how it always was to help keep the event fair, and how it will always be."

"I didn't exactly mean it that way…"

"If you are speaking about your apprentice's…stigma, then you are still incorrect." Hiashi closed his beloved pale eyes and slowly folded his arms over his chest. "I have no quarrel with the boy himself, yet I see no reason to interact with one such as him. I would find it more enjoyable if my eldest daughter did not contain feelings for the child. But in spite of her timidity, Hinata still inherited her mother's stubbornness which reveals itself when push comes to shove. She could not be dissuaded from her pursuit no matter what was tried. I merely pray that she may lose with dignity."

"Would that still not be a blow to the Hyuuga clan's standing?" Tokiwa asked, having listened in just like everyone else in attendance. Plus it was hard not to when she was obviously stuck in the middle between the two men's chat.

"Of course. But I believe a political marriage to another clan with high social status would help to repair the damage."

"Is that what it really comes down to? Position?"

"Yes." Hiashi replied honestly. "Does your village not do the same? You wish to absorb the most powerful into your culture. Strength is just as important as a place in society's hierarchy. Naruto's family name is questionable. An Uzumaki? They were wiped out years ago despite being a well-known clan with an entire village at their backs. He does not even possess the rudimentary red hair the Uzumaki were known for. I for one find that dubious and believe he is nothing more than a simple orphan given a proper surname so as to not feel as lonely."

'_And yet only an Uzumaki could hope to contain the vast stores of the Kyuubi's chakra within themselves. Any other person without the Uzumaki's special fortitude would find themselves devoured from the inside out by the beast.' _The Hyuuga Patriarch's reasoning may have been sound but Jiraiya still found it lacking. Even ninja, trained to look underneath the underneath, still failed to notice when the facts were blaring right into their faces. But then again…only Mito Uzumaki was barely known as the first fox jinchuriki and even then it was need to know…Kushina's status had stayed private all her life and only those close to her had been aware. Damn his deceased sensei; Sarutobi meant well but his announcement of Naruto's new seal was a major mistake.

"Enough jawing, let's just get this show on the road now that everyone's present." Walking over to the railing, the Godaime's presence alone was enough to silence the crowd down to an adequate level. Clearing her throat the busty broad set her hands on the metal fence and shouted out to the gathered masses. "Everyone, thank you for joining us on this day! I know many of you are confused as to why this fight suddenly sprung up from out of nowhere and warranted the use of our own stadium so allow me to clear the air! Our very own heiress to the Hyuuga clan, Hinata Hyuuga, has issued forth a nearly forgotten rite of battle known as the Shikō Kettō!"

A new smattering of whispers and chattering broke out at that proclamation. While nearly most off of those in attendance were unaware of the impact of such a proclamation, the few that were in the know were unable to stop the shock from spreading to their features. While the basics of Hinata's duel were spread around, no one had bothered to use the name that went with it. Raising a hand to try and shut them all up Tsunade continued to speak.

"In an uncommon gesture she has challenged two opponents! One is the leader-to-be of Nadeshiko Village, while the other is considered a princess herself!" At the calling of their labels, Shizuka nodded and Lala finally lost her self-control and started hopping lightly. "Normally the winner would gain something from the user, any wish or want! But this time the prize to be won has already been predetermined in a sense! Allow us to show you what these three ladies will be fighting over in this anything-goes battle royale!" Quick as a whip the Hokage pointed a manicured finger down towards the competitor box where contestants normally waited for their turn to fight. Both Kakashi and Gai were standing there waiting for their cue, holding up a large sheet to hide whatever was concealed behind the curtain. Seeing their bit, the two jounin released their hold on the fabric and allowed it to flutter to the ground. The gathered masses were struck quiet at seeing the trophy…at least until one brown-haired Inuzuka couldn't control himself anymore and began laughing his ass off.

It just wasn't what they were expecting. After all, how many could have actually guessed the prize at stake was the village's resident jinchuriki with an angry frown the size of the nearby monument? The icing on the cake was someone took the liberty of planting a big ol' floppy bow on the top of his head that simply made him look like a fool with explicit orders **not** to remove it or face the consequences. Three guesses as to who it was…considering the boy was glaring daggers up towards the VIP box and mouthing the words '_I'm going to kill you._'

"Yes, in a twist of fate they are competing for our very own Naruto Uzumaki! Now I think we've all waited long enough! Challengers, prepare yourself!" With her monologue said Tsunade stepped back and returned to her own seat with a small sigh escaping her lips. Seeing as they all had the go ahead, the trio of fighters each shrugged off their outerwear to get down to business. At first it was thought the three girls were simply starting to strip and it set off a cacophony of whistles and cheers that were swiftly stopped by many of the females in the area.

In reality their battle outfits were hidden away underneath. Somehow the purple-haired heiress had been able to stuff her large jacket inside her kimono without her body looking rather exaggerated, taking to wear her normal shinobi outfit for the fight. As the fabric fell about Shizuka's shoulders it revealed a tight grey bodysuit with a cutout large enough to show off the cleavage of her ample bust, a black short-sleeved shirt that revealed a portion of her back, large purple bow around her waist, and tight black pants taped at the ankles. Lala herself happily undid her belt and let the kimono drop into the dirt which showed she had her Peke-suit waiting in place. The little robot's head wasn't enlarged into a hat though; the white oval with black swirls stayed in place against her pink hair in clip form.

Jiraiya was grinning lecherously at seeing the mini striptease, wishing he was closer to the action but one look from his blonde former teammate and the idea quickly vanished. Instead the self-proclaimed super pervert coughed slightly and held up his hand. The four fingers and one thumb slowly dropped until only the pointer was left, which he then pointed towards the middle of the stadium. "Showtime." Both Hiashi and Tokiwa turned to look at him oddly, wondering exactly why those innocent words sounded like they had a much greater impact behind them than they should have. It was soon answered as a small object whizzed out from behind the sannin's seat and rocketed into the dirt.

All three girls jumped as a dust cloud kicked up, billowing out until it finally died away to reveal a…frog?

"Pa-chan!"

Close…but no.

The small green animal with a goatee nodded in her direction before swiveling to look between the two other combatants looking at him guardedly. There was no official referee in the Shikō Kettō and a set of decorum rules for the prerequisites of the match, so having the small creature appear was a bit confusing. Lala seemed to know it though and that just made it rather suspicious.

"Before ya'll get ta slappin' each other around, ah've got somethin' ta say." Fukasaku's voice rang loud and clear throughout the area, stunning those that were unaware of or had never actually viewed a summoned creature before. Sure it was one thing to hear or read about it, but to live it? Way different. So many oddities in one day! And if they were guessing right, it was one of the three great summon families! The toad pointed an elongated finger at Hinata and gave her a firm stare with his yellowed pupils. "This 'un here stated before that Naruto-chan was duped in ta bein' with Lala-chan. Not only that, but the entire thing was unwanted. Ah'm here ta state that while he was wary o' the union in the beginning, it's in no way of dubious means. In other words, ya said a big fat lie like it was the truth!"

"I have no reason to lie." Hinata responded lightly.

"Then get yer facts straight first, missy! 'cause o' yer quick words, ya didn't even realize you inadvertently insulted the family that took Lala-chan in as one o' their own!"

Up in the stands, Hiashi's eyes widened imperceptibly.

The elderly toad began to smirk as Hinata's aggressive stance faltered slightly. The Hyuuga may have been one of the best around…but it was getting to be rather obvious who the toad was speaking of. "H-how did that happen?"

"The Toad Clan recognizes our newest summoner Naruto-chan as both friend and family. And we just so happened ta take a shine ta Lala-chan as well, who's to be marryin' our little Naruto. If ya hadn'ta made this a Shikō Kettō whatchamajigger, perhaps this part coulda been avoided…but pre-rules are still rule, ya know. Any clan that feels its honor's been tarnished can call in a ringer if they feel the damage has been done when the fight's been called, same as the Hyuuga. The Clan of the Summoned Toads, backing up one of their own, now invokes the right ta call in their champion ta fight instead!"

Hiashi did not speak; oh no, it wouldn't have been proper for someone like him. Instead the clan head blinked and then loudly thought two words within his mind. '_Well shit._' This subsection was even rarer than citing the entire Shikō Kettō rule in the first place. Normally it took place between members of a clan anyways so they were, in essence, their own champion to represent their family. But in cases such as this where the person was more akin to a commoner yet had the favor of one of the higher-ups, should the family wish to intervene they could slip in one of their own to make it all more even. It was one of those 'we like this person and you insulted them, ergo you insulted us'. The Hyuuga, progenitors of the whole thing, just allowed it because hey…they were Hyuuga. It's not like they'd ever lose to anyone else anyway or something. Let them give aid. It would do no good once the time came.

But the toads were rather strong…and the bigger they were, the stronger they were.

And there were a lot of giant amphibians.

The audience watched in a hush; the entire thing seemed like drama play going off before their very eyes. It grew even tenser when Pa suddenly nicked his mottled flesh just enough to draw blood and slapped the now crimson palm against the ground. An array of red spread out from the impact point before flashing brightly, erupting in a massive smokescreen that filed the entire stadium with its fog. The immediate thought going through the air was that the boss or one of his equals had been called in to fight. And it would have been perfectly legal at this point.

The smoke began to swirl in an arc before suddenly imploding in on itself and reversing outward. Surprisingly, there was no massive toad hunching down and glaring at its new opponents in an alarming manner. Such a relief…and yet it _wasn't_. The one summoned may not have been a talking animal but it was still just as outrageous. Human height, arms folded over the chest, blond hair, cloak flapping in the breeze? With his bright blue eyes focused with a laser-like precision, Naruto Uzumaki stood proudly next to Fukasaku with his head held high.

The ribbon was no longer stuck to his head, instead laying forgotten next to Kakashi's foot.

Damn the consequences.

Hinata shuddered in her spot, confused as to why the boy turned his back to her and began walking towards her new pink-haired rival when Pa leapt out of the arena. "Naruto-k-kun, what a-are you doing?" Her cheeks began to pink but the space between them helped keep her body's reaction at a tolerable level.

Reaching his destination the shinobi cracked his neck and shook out his wrists. He was getting to ready to rumble, no doubt about it. The purplenette just had to ask anyways, forcing him to answer. "Why? Because my life has spiraled out of control lately and I'm damn tired of people suddenly making my decisions for me. No more damnit!"

"So y-you would fight f-for her a-against a fellow shin-shinobi of K-Konoha?"

"I'll punch anyone who's in the wrong! I'm not some possession to win at a damn carnival! You're going on how you've known me longer and all that but in the end it still comes down to you beating up other people just to 'win me over'?" The jinchuriki's voice dropped an octave as he held a closed fist in front of his chin, idly looking at the clenched fingers. "I know that's pretty hypocritical of me, especially with how I always said I'd beat up so and so to prove my strength. But do you really think this is any way to win me over?"

"I…I am doing this so you will finally notice me! Y-you've never done m-more than see me as t-that odd girl from class! And yet…you've helped me o-out more than I could e-ever wish for, Naruto-kun. How could I n-not want you to view me in the same light as I see you?"

"*Ahem*…" Shizuka cleared her throat rather loudly, having pulled on a pair of black gloves during the ensuing conversation and was now fiddling with with a small metal pauldron on her right shoulder. "In case you've all forgotten, the fight's started. I'm fine with this though because it gives me a chance to do what I originally came here to do."

"I'm still staying too!" Lala raised her left arm straight in the air, D-Dial sliding into her other hand and sticking thanks to her somewhat bulbous wrist piece helping keep it in place. Naruto gave her a quick peek, knowing her continued participation was likely going to be a part of the plan they had sketched out the day before.

"I have no problem with that."

Hinata barely reconsidered the notion before nodding her head as well. Her target was Lala. When Naruto was brought into the equation it broke her plan of humiliating the pinkette…but a four way battle? As long as she got her shot at smacking around the Devilukan female then she was willing to give it a go. Trademark disturbances around the Juken-practitioner's eyes grew in size as her doujutsu initiated itself with a burst of chakra.

Hinata's limbs stretched as her body entered the family's fighting stance but paused momentarily as her x-ray vision obtained a close up view of Lala's body. There was a rather thick energy signature roiling through every portion of those different looking pathways, and the pretty heiress couldn't discern whether or not it was actually chakra inside of her. A stray piece of information from her studies popped to the fore of her mind as she studied the explosive energy signature. Soon enough, the issue was brought to light because, if it was true, then the fight could potentially become a lot more difficult.

"Lala-san, are you perhaps an untrained jinchuriki?"

"Jinjoo? Oh you mean that thingy Naruto-kun is-GACK!" A gloved palm slapped over Lala's mouth to silence herself, eyes as wide as dinner plates as she realized what she had just done. No dice. The words were pronounced loud enough to carry over the din of the amassed crowd, all the way up to the top of the stadium. Bad enough that the walls' acoustics were tailored to allow for most normal speech to be easily discernible for when judges were in the process of grading chunin potentials. Especially at the end when someone got cocky and explained what just happened to their opponent (and essentially everyone else within range).

Naruto, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and even Fukasaku slapped their foreheads as one.

The blond quickly found a flailing pink shape attach to his side in utter worry, apologizing as quickly and meaningful as she could in one breath. "Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! I didn't mean it! It was an accident! I forgot you had that in you and when she brought it up I remembered and-!"

"Lala!" Naruto's hand was raised and for a moment the girl thought he might start punishing her for her transgression, Lala having momentary flashbacks of being spanked back on Deviluke. The intended motions that would set her rear aflame never came as she feared, instead morphing into light and unsure pats against her hair. Rubbing at her watery green eyes, the princess was a bit confused by his action. Didn't she just fuck up big time? "…I'm not mad…so calm down, alright? It was bound to come out sooner or later. I had hoped for later but, eh..."

Up in the stands, filled with mutterings and whispers, Shikamaru and Shino discreetly fist bumped each other. "Called it…I knew something was fishy about that night sixteen years ago."

"Indeed."

Even Shizuka paused as the ravenette pulled out a kunai, quirking at idea at the new tidbit of information. The Nadeshiko cutie was unsure whether or not this was a boon for her and her village or not. They never had a demon-container grace their walls before…at least if the knowledge was known. And the one which started it all off, Hinata? She still stood in her Juken stance but there was no grounding to her footwork. A breeze could have knocked her over if it was strong enough. "N-Naruto-kun…holds a demon inside him? But h-how?"

It _did_ explain why she could always see two chakra networks somehow residing within his body.

"How do you think?" he shouted back sharply, unable to keep the spite out of his voice simply for having to explain. He could have ignored it but a fat lot of good that would have done in the long run. "You can't kill a tailed-beast! You either have to seal them away or let 'em run free! And I just so happened to be the lucky newborn picked the night our good old nine-tailed fuzz butt decided to see how much damage he could cause in our village! I'm a jinchuriki! There, I finally admitted it! A _human sacrifice _forced to jail the Kyuubi so it couldn't run amok anymore! So now that you know what I hold are you going to start ignoring me like everyone else did, like I simply don't exist? Every damn day I wondered why I wasn't like other children but guess what? I didn't even fucking know about the problem until the day of our graduation! Thirteen years of that shit! Or are you going to tell others to stay away from me because I'm not worth the trouble? It's not like this'll affect me any more than it already has! Or…**are you scared of me now**?"

Naruto's voice took on an edgy rasp at the end of his rant, inadvertently causing Hinata to take a step back. It was the sudden feral touch and spike in chakra that alarmed the heiress. A swift snort escaped the blond's nostrils at his attempt to calm down, ending in a low growl that softly tapered off after a few seconds. Once again he heard Lala whisper 'I'm sorry' but lightly shook his head and took to scanning his bright blue eyes over the entire stadium. His anger was ebbing. It seemed meditation did more than just teach him to absorb chakra.

"Well you got no worries. The Kyuubi is sealed up nice and tight-" A few good hits of his stomach were given for emphasis, "-and the bastard fox is never getting out as long as I can help it. And even then, I'm not alone anymore like I was in my childhood. I have people that see me for _me_…and they're the best dang pseudo-family I could ever hope for. So go ahead and tell anyone you want about my status; it ain't a secret anymore! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage and the jinchuriki of the nine-tailed fox! And I'm one of the best damn shinobi you're _ever_ gonna hear about!"

He couldn't help but slip in that commendation there at the end; it helped him feel empowered and with his recent upgrade, the self-praise seemed less and less like it was an empty boast. Naruto inhaled deeply slowly crouching down, one hand near his waist while the other was out in front of him with the palm facing skyward. It was as if a weight had lifted from his shoulders upon finally getting that out of his system. Alongside the slugfest he got into with Jiraiya, the blond just kept feeling lighter and lighter as of late. Everybody knew now and honestly…the Uzumaki child couldn't care less about the can of worms he just opened.

Seeing that strange stance Lala understood their 'break' was coming to an end. Sniffing one more time, the alien royalty schooled her features and clenched her own fists before flicking open her mobile transporter/cell phone. Feeling more than seeing her respond to his action, Naruto tilted his head so he was looking at his academy schoolmate through the bottom edge of his headband. The wind began to blow again softly, ruffling his crimson jacket and Lala's transparent frills.

"No more talk. So you wanted a fight? You got one."

The air around his crouching farm began to charge itself with chakra as he began to funnel the energy throughout his body. For one such as him, that fundamentally contained an all-encompassing ocean of chakra, doing so would allow for the intangible force to actually become visible to the naked eye. As long as Naruto continued to raise his chakra levels and allow for it to discharge freely from his tenketsu, the glowing blue aura would continue to blaze about his body. Grinning wildly, he allowed the thick atmosphere to die in a flash and let the gusting dust settle down. His limbs were now supercharged with chakra and like a crappy version of sage mode, the teen's body was now stronger and faster than what his system would normally be like without actually initiating his newest technique.

Then the battle truly began.

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_A/N: This is a two-parter. I wanted to finish the whole Konoha arc here but as I continued to write it kept expanding and so I had to cut it off. I didn't want it to drag on through one whole chapter, plus you'll have something to look forward to once I try and update a couple of my older ones._

_***NOTE* **For everyone that claimed Shizuka is an OC; she's not. She's a filler character alongside Tokiwa from one lone episode of Shippuden. Just letting you know...since I too don't dare for filler. But hey, I always wanted to use her for something because there's a lot that could happen.  
_

_Also, I noticed something really annoying/stupid. My whole Christmas break I barely nitpicked at this story and still have maybe ¼ of Ninja Meets Ninjas to finish. And yet with all that free time I spent it procrastinating because I could finally rest or being unable to get on my laptop. And now that my new semester just started, I suddenly have the urge to write again. It's as if sitting in class is the catalyst to write in my notebook and get this shit done. Sigh…what weird motivation. _

_At least I actually do work on my stories when I have the free time. Just be happy that I actually care enough to give you all a new chapter when I'm able, yeah?_


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